The following contains: a dangerously sexy alien (side-effects may result in nosebleeds), violence, a made-up representation of gangs, inappropriate language, embarrassing and awkward situations, feats of inhuman/unrealistic strength, speed, and mutant powers that cannot be achieved in real life (sadly) and should not be attempted unless you are an actual alien or mutant. And yes, this is a USUI X OC Alternate Universe.
DISCLAIMER: original manga and all rights belong to Hiro Fujiwara, who is awesome.
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...
Today was what Misaki had warned Saya about: Little Sister's Day.
The female employees were dressed up in childish skirts and uniforms, which Saya thought was weird.
Beyond Maid Latté weird.
Saya had no idea how she could be related to a woman who fawned over such strange ideas. But her Aunt Satsuki was openly excited about the event. Lucky for Saya, she didn't need to do anything different, since she stayed behind the curtain. But her heart was aching for Misaki.
The poor girl was trying so hard.
Saya had seen her studying different ideas from mangas and magazines, but she clearly was not what you would call 'a doting little sister.'
Misaki was running around the tables, hair up in pigtails and trying to smile as nicely as she could, but Saya could see the strain. The effort. THE SOUL CRUSHING MISERYYYYYYY.
At least most of the customers were too caught up in their weird fetishes to notice.
Saya respected Misaki a lot for pushing herself so much. It made Saya feel guilty standing back and watching her suffer alone. But half of her screamed at the idea of acting like someone else's little sister. Saya had a brother. He was gone. But Seito was still her brother. She didn't think she could treat anyone the same way that she had treated her one and only Nii-chan.
"Uh-oh…"
Saya looked up from her work in the kitchen and saw some of the ladies peeking out from the curtain to the main floor.
"This isn't going to be easy on Misa-chan," Satsuki said.
"What's going on?" Saya checked the cakes that were baking in the oven one more time before joining the gossiping women.
"It's Usui-kun," Satsuki pointed at the Café entrance.
Misaki was twitching in front of a very smug looking Usui.
"W-welcome back, Onii-t-tan," Misaki was trying not to butcher her high-pitched voice.
Usui didn't say anything and walked over to a table, Misaki pulled out the chair for him.
"Is something wrong?" Misaki smiled weakly at her customer.
"I should be asking you that, Misa-chan," Usui looked at her. "You never call me Onii-tan. You probably want me to buy you something. Or maybe you feel guilty about something you did?"
"What are you talking about Onii-tan?" Misaki pointed to her smile. "M-Misa is always like this."
"Could it be that you're trying to make up for how you farted in front of me the other day?"
"Ggh—" Misaki twitched with her teeth clenched, trying to hold back her anger. DID NOT!
"No Misa-chan!" Satsuki prayed from her spot behind the curtain.
"You can't get mad at the customer's joke," Honoka smiled darky.
"Even if it's a tasteless joke," Subaru added.
Saya frowned at the scene. She knew Usui was taking advantage of the situation just to piss Misaki off. The jerk. Don't take that crap from him, Misa! Beat him at his own game!
"You're so mean Onii-tan!" Misaki waved her hand in attempts to play it off. "Misa didn't fart!...Here." Misaki grabbed a full glass off of a tray. "Your water," she slammed it down coldly on the table. V_V
"Where did you get that water? I only drink water from the Alps," Usui pushed her further. "Bring me some!" :D
"Come on, stop being so selfish! Please don't cause Misa-chan trouble. What would you like to eat today? Misa-chan would recommend omelet rice—"
"Onii-tan would like a roasted lobster," Usui continued with a satisfied smirk. "Also, a poele with red wine sauce and foie gras summer truffles on the side."
Saya rolled her eyes in frustration. If you were my brother I'd slap you upside the head for being so RUDE! And foie gras!? WHAT DID A POOR LITTLE DUCKY EVER DO TO YOU TO DESERVE THAT?! Usuuiiiii Takumiiii, you're asking for it V-V
"Please stop being so unreasonable. I keep asking you not to trouble Misa!" Misaki shook to keep her smile.
"Misa, you shouldn't be acting so spoiled, saying you can't do this or that. You also lied to my face, and said you didn't fart—"
"I DID NOT FART YOU PERVERTED SON-OF-A—"
"Nii-chan."
Usui was suddenly yanked by the ear, jerked around, and brought eye to eye with Saya.
"Mind your manners at the table," she warned sweetly and Usui's gut tightened.
Her skin was glistening a little, no doubt from the heat of the stove she'd been cooking on. She had on a blue bandana tied like a cap on her head and her scarlet hair was in two messy braids hanging down by her ears, with the kitchen apron tied around her waist.
Before he could stare into her stormy blue-green eyes any longer—she punched him on top of the head.
"Ha! Too slow Nii-chan! You're reflexes are worse than ever!" she pulled her eyelid down and stuck her tongue out at him, then plopped into the chair next to him. "Now apologize to Misa-chan for being a Cotton-headed-ninny-muggins—"
"Saya!" Usui gasped, taking on her silly charade. "That word is forbidden!…I'm so offended…you've left my heart broken," he put a hand over his chest.
"I know," she patted him on his hand reassuringly. "The truth hurts sometimes, doesn't it? Now apologize!…Or I'll bite ya," she lightly tapped her finger once on his nose and then casually picked up his glass of water and took a drink.
Usui stared.
If he took a drink after her, that counted as an indirect kiss, right? Right?
"Takumi," Saya scrunched her nose in nagging disapproval. "Set a good example and say your sorry!" she pointed at Misa.
Usui's thoughts had already buckled under Saya's abrupt willingness to touch him, but now she had used his first name…
He wanted her to call him that more often.
"Nii-chan! Say it or I'll swat you one!"
He reluctantly peeled his gaze from Saya and turned to Misaki, who looked almost as surprised as he felt.
"Onii-tan is sorry for being a Cotton-headed-ninny-muggins, Misa-chan," Usui said without thinking.
"H-heh heh, t-that's alright Onii-tan," Misaki waved her hands shyly, not wanting to cause a scene. "Misa-chan forgives—"
"No, no, No!" Saya interrupted and pulled Usui up out of his chair by the arm and made him stand. "You can't forgive him till he proves he means it!" Saya put her hand on the top of his hand and made him bow forward. "Say you're sorry like a gentleman!"
"Please…forgive me?" Usui tried again, flickering his eyes at Saya through his honey blonde bangs before looking forward at Misaki.
Misaki was staring at him with a very goofy expression, as if she were about to laugh.
Saya took her hand off his head and stepped away from him.
"Okay, he means it."
Usui smiled coyly at her. That worked quicker than he had thought it would.
"Now what does Nii-chan want to eat? For real?" Saya glared with one eye.
"Surprise me," he grinned slyly.
"Kay," Saya nodded with a smirk and strode off to the backroom, a few guys watching as she went.
Misaki coughed a little, still smiling, which Usui thought was unlike her.
"Do you want anything else while you wait, Onii-tan?" the false sister asked through a suppressed smile.
"No thank you," Usui readied himself to sit back down. "I'll stick with water Misa—"
*BLLLTHHhh!*
Usui stiffened at the inappropriately deflating balloon noise and frowned at the feeling of something on his seat.
"Onii-tan," Misaki was trying not to laugh, and leaned in to whisper. "Did you just fart?"
"It wasn't me," Usui pulled out the object he had just sat on. "Someone snuck a whoopee cushion under my butt," he held it up with small amusement.
Customers at the other tables were flat out giggling at the stupid joke.
"Here's your dessert, Nii-chan."
Saya came back out of the kitchen with a fluffy looking strawberry shortcake, decorated fancily with yummy toppings and whipped cream. She set the plate in front of him and he looked up at her with a rebellious raise of his eyebrow. He shook the whoopee cushion in his hand to get her attention.
"Oh!' she cried happily at the sight of the pranking item. "You found it, Nii-chan!" she took it out of his hand and kissed him on the top of his head, making Usui jolt at the hot spell she unleashed through his brain.
"How funny, eh? It was right under your nose this whole time," she smiled sneakily at him.
"You tricked me, Saya-chan," Usui played along with a pout and picked up his fork.
"But I was only joking," Saya puckered her lips sadly at him. "You're not mad, are you Takumi?"
Usui twitched, his better judgment kept drawing up blank, letting his mind wander.
"I thought you like when we play games?" the Wildcat's features lit up with a crafty smirk.
Usui was so sidetracked by the way she was smiling at him—he barely had time to shield himself before his dessert blew up in his face at the touch of his fork. His arms were splattered with bits of fruit, cream, and confetti.
Some people cheered for the impressive, mini explosion of food. Saya and Misaki laughed at him.
"SURPRISE!" Saya clapped in delight.
"Saya-chan," Usui glowered at her with a dark smile and rose from he seat, taking a step forward—
He tripped.
Stumbling on his footing and knocking his chair over, Usui grasped the table for balance, only to have his hand land in what was left of his dessert.
"Got you again! Muwhahaha!" Saya jeered evilly, pointing down to his feet.
Both shoelaces had been tied to the chair legs.
"I bet you're feeling very sorry now, eh? Nii-chan?" Saya snickered joyfully at him while Misaki tried to keep her expression level.
Usui licked some sticky dessert residue off of his fingers. "Saya-chan's not playing very nice."
"Ah, Nii-chan," she took up the skirt of her apron and wiped his hands off. "You know it's nothing personal, just a friendly sibling rivalry. If you had stayed on your toes, like usual, you wouldn't have gotten so messy."
Usui felt a quiver sweep over him as she brushed him down.
"That's what happens when you get smart with our Misa-chan," she crossed her arms with pride and strode over to Misaki. "I got my sista's back."
"Hmm," Usui pouted. "No fair," he fixed the laces of his shoes and stood back up. "If Misa-chan and Saya-chan are going to gang up on me, I'm gonna leave." Usui headed towards the door.
"Onii-tan..!" Misaki called before he pulled open the handle. "I'm s-sorry I laughed.." she stammered. She wasn't sure if they had gone overboard. And she felt guilty driving him to leave, especially since she had enjoyed teasing her normally unteaseable friend.
"You know…I don't mind if you visit again," Misaki said, glancing at him reticently.
Usui blinked at her.
"Oooo," the Maid Latte customers gaped at Misaki's sudden show of attachment to Usui.
"And does Saya-chan mind?" Usui asked with discreet curiousness.
Saya looked him over in consideration.
"Bring your A-game next time," her stormy eyes washed over him. "It's no fun when you surrender so easily, Takumi."
Usui tingled at the saucy gleam in her eyes.
"Oooo," the Manager of Maid Latte watched them carefully. "Would this be two new types of Moe…? The goofy tsundere type," Satsuki looked at Misaki. "And the…spunky prankster type…?" Satsuki looked at her niece.
"Don't you mean gangster type?" Honoka commented beside her Manager.
"Hmm, that could be it too…" Satsuki thought out loud, not sure if these categories she was creating made any sense whatsoever.
(A/N: I wasn't sure which translation to use for Misaki's moe type, so I used two…idk.)
...
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...
It was near sundown and Usui was walking through the city.
She had thrown him through a loop, that Wildcat.
He would hate to think her playfulness was strictly acting, but it stumped him that he couldn't tell how much of her teasing qualified as flirting.
Usui liked to think Saya was flirting.
He also liked to think that You-kun was born in a barn, but he had no proof of that.
And he wanted proof. He wanted to know exactly what drove Saya to sass him the way she did, and why—if she did indeed like him—did she always discourage his attention? He couldn't define what compelled her to keep him around, and yet, push him away.
Usui sighed. She was getting damn good at making his head spin.
He was going to have to step up his game.
Usui felt his pocket for his cellphone to text her…when he realized…
His phone was gone.
Usui felt the rest of his pockets with a start. His wallet was gone. His keys were gone. Everything except the taser Saya had given him was gone.
When had she done it?
Handsy woman, he thought with a mixed fascination. Saya had lifted his goods without him even noticing. How had he not felt her touching him?
Usui was ashamed of himself for overlooking such sneaky pickpocketing. The desire to get even with Saya floored him.
Usui turned around. He would get even alright.
Two could play at that game. She may have bested him in the first battle, but he would have her on the ropes for the war.
...
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...
Saya finished helping her Aunt close up shop, and headed down the alley, wondering why Usui hadn't come back to the Café.
I have his flipping keys.
She frowned worriedly, zipping up her jacket. How could he have gone home without them? Or wait…I guess he doesn't need keys since he's from outerspace….probably beamed himself up to Planet Sex Appeal—
She sensed something behind her and laughed.
"Took you long enough to show up," Saya spoke, slowing turning around to face her stalker. "For a second I thought you'd already rejoined the Mothership of your people—"
*Yank*
—She was pulled by the scalp of her hair—
*BAM!*
The wind was knocked out of her as a knuckled fist clobbered her in the stomach—twice, thrice, four times until the perpetrator released her hair. Then she was kicked in the side of her face and struck again in the gut. Saya crashed backward, toppling over the trashcans.
"Fudgy bushels of CRAP!" Saya coughed, staggering to get to her feet. I should've known it was him.
"How careless of you, Wildcat," the slick eerie voice of Taizo carried through the darkness. "To let your guard down while I'm on the prowl."
She glared at the Phantom of the Cutthroats, a prime example of why some animals eat their young. His silhouette was illuminated in the darkness, shadowing his face.
"Fudge you! Yah lousy bugger!" Saya shot back, feeling her adrenaline kicking in. "YOU'LL NEVER BE THE MAN YOUR MOTHER WAS!"
"I've been looking for you, Saya…and now I finally have you alone," Taizo moved, stepping lightly to the right.
Saya shifted her stance as well, the two of them caught in a circular standoff, sizing each other up.
"Without your katana?" he observed and chuckled with an airy, pleasing tone. "How much easier could you have made this for me? Hanging around your Aunt's café, completely unarmed..." Taizo was reveling in what he was going to do to her.
"Just back up, fool," Saya put up her fists. "I got two fricking boots on my feet and that's all I'm gonna need to stomp the living crap out of you, LIKE A GRAPE!" she slapped her hands together for emphasis. "Like a blueberry! I WILL CRUSH YOU FLAT—and aint no Roadkill Service gonna be able to scrape your guts off the pavement!"
"Mmm, I like that, Saya," Taizo's body tremored, thrilled by her passionate threat. "Don't disappoint me now, DON'T STOP TILL WE BLEED!"
He charged her, drawing his favorite knife and slashing—but she dodged him, launching an elbow to his face and kicking him in the wrist which held his weapon.
Taizo pulled back for an instant, she hasn't gotten any slower. She had the advantage of speed, but he knew the Wildcat could be vain when it came to her agility. She relied on it too much.
Taizo spun before letting loose a barrage of fists and strikes of his blade. Saya dodged and blocked, eluding every hit. He could see her confidence rising as she sent a double-kick his way—He let her make contact. Saya didn't waste anytime in throwing another punch, probably one that would have subdued him—but she was standing too close and he ducked, lunging at her torso.
"YOU'RE MINE NOW, WILDCAT!"
In that split second he saw her hesitation. Taizo smiled as she tried to twist at the last instant, but he tackled her down.
"BULLOCKS!" She clawed at the brick wall of the alley, trying to keep his weight from prevailing, but he was too much muscle for her.
Taizo cackled as he landed on top of her, pinning his arm across her throat. She instantly grasped his other hand that held the knife, holding it at bay.
*WAM WAM WAM!*
The Wildcat socked him hard in his jaw with her free hand. He felt his incisors shattering and bits of his teeth flew along with a gush of blood.
"GET YOUR STICKY PAWS OFF! I AINT NOBODIES PROPERTY!" she tried to gain some force with her lower half and flip him over but Taizo locked down on her legs and clasped tight on to her shoulder, digging in to her flesh. She hissed out in protest to the pain.
"Not yet, my betrothed," Taizo drove his hand with the knife closer as Saya struggled to ward him off, her grip on his wrist weakening. Quickly she abandoned her efforts to free herself from the arm that was barring her neck, and used both hands to hold back his knife.
Still he was inching closer.
"And does my Father know about your plans to turn me into a corpse bride?" Saya braced her arms as firmly as she could to stop the knife from coming at her face.
Shit.
Her arms were shaking, they were going to give any minute.
COME ON SAYA! FIND YOUR GODDAMN INNER GOKU AND KAMEHAMEHA THIS B*TCH OFF HIS ASS!
"I just want to have a little fun with you, Wildcat," Taizo leered down her neck, scooting himself higher on top of her form so he could gain more leverage over her. His long dark hair was spilling around her face. "And the Boss has already agreed—I'm the only one who can have you, Saya," Taizo's voice gritted as he pushed his arm down harder. "I'm gonna mark you up pretty!"
What do we say to Death? Saya thought with a struggle.
"NOT TODAY! HEADBUTT!" Saya reared back and then clocked Taizo in his face, cracking him in the eye and making his nose burst and hair whip back.
He cried out in agony—dropping his knife.
"Man you suck! I called HEADBUTT and you don't even block it!" Saya headbutted him again—Taizo was knocked somewhat off balance and Saya freed one knee. "THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH! YOU FREAKIN MORONIC CREEPER!" She headbutted him again.
The Phantom snarled and scraped after Saya's arms. Blood was running into Saya's eyes as she lodged a thrust of her knee into his side, almost throwing him over but he plunged his weight against her chest. Saya grappled to keep her arms out of reach, unwilling to risk throwing a punch incase he ensnared her limbs again. She blindly sent another headbutt his way—and not only did he take it full force, he tried crashing his open mouth against hers. His teeth tore down the side of her jaw as she avoided the brunt of his intentions.
"NOW I'M PISSED!" Saya roared.
He had just tried to kiss her.
SICK SICK SSSICK FREAK!
It was one thing to stalk her, stab her, and purposely drink her Dr. Pepper that was labeled 'Property of Saya's, Do Not Touch Except For Saya, YOU MOTHER WILL BE CONDEMNED TO ETERNALLY RUN ON A HAMSTER WHEEL IF YOU DRINK THIS AND ARE NOT SAYA!' that she kept in the fridge at the Showdown. She could live with that. But if Taizo seriously thought he was going to be Saya's first kiss—he was in for a rude awakening.
"I'M GONNA PUMMEL YOU SO HARD—THE LITTLE SICKO INSIDE OF YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN YOUR ASS AND YOUR FACE!" Saya fisted both of her hands together and bashed Taizo under his chin, his head snapped backwards and Saya propelled him off of her.
Saya rolled at top speed away from him, grabbing Taizo's knife as she went, then pushed off the ground and sprung to her feet, wiping blood from her brow. The headbutting must've split open her skin. Quickly she flipped out her own pocketknife, ready for another tussle.
How is it I always end up duel wielding? I SHOULD START CALLING MYSELF~LORD OF THE BLADES~! MUWAHAHAHAH! Ting ting ting! I SHANK YOU! I shank you very much ;D
"There's my Wildcat," Taizo remained sprawled on the ground, choking for air and holding his neck, his jagged teeth showing in a crazed smile as he suffered. "Slice me up…and I'll slice you up…till we match," he coughed out a laugh, getting to his feet.
"Or I could just cut out your tongue. Maybe then you'd shut up?" she shot him a scathing glare.
"And that would stop me?" he took a step forward, blood cascading down his face, from between his eyes, down the sides of his nose, filling the laughter lines that creased to his mouth.
"Once I get you back to the Showdown your Father will sign you over to me. Then it won't matter how I demand of you, or what I demand of you—you'll have no choice but to obey," his crooked smirk sharpened. "You'll be my wife, Saya. And will do as I—"
*SPRAAAAAAAAAAY!*
A jet of water torpedoed through the air from behind Saya and blasted Taizo in the face. Saya was so alarmed by the power of the torrent she jumped in fright. Taizo gargled as he tried to escape from the random liquid onslaught, until finally the stream ran out, leaving a very angry and completely soaked Phantom of the Cutthroats.
"Objection."
Saya spun around at the spellbinding voice to see Usui, standing at the mouth of the alley. The street lamp was casting an orange light across him, defining the getup he was decked out in.
Clad in an open, soldierly vest that exposed the lean muscles of his upper body, his arms were bare—apart from a badge-like band that encircled his left arm just above the bicep. The green-eyed alien sported a long samurai style bandana across his forehead, army pants and boots. From a distance it looked like he was equipped with machine guns galore, straps and buckles of grenades and ammo, with a freaking bazooka in his arms—but when Saya squinted she realized they were all WATER guns. O_O
The bazooka must've been the most expensive super-soaker she had ever seen. The grenade belts strung across his chest were actually stocked with water balloons. And there were two large buckets at his feet filled with even more H2O ammo.
"By the sun and stars..?" Saya gaped at him. He looked like the Toys R US version of Rambo…and it was damn sexy.
"YOU!" Taizo seethed in hatred. "DAMN INSOLENT—"
*SPRAAAAAAAAAAAY!*
Usui didn't bother letting him finish, he used the heavy-duty super-soaker to shut up the gangster. He noticed the odd way Saya had jumped; even the second time he shot the water bazooka. She stared at the kiddie weapon with startled eyes.
That set Usui off with a foul temper.
The only reason Usui could think for Saya to be so spooked by the water toy was that the scummy Taco guy had already traumatized her. She looked bloodier than hell. Her face was streaked as red as her hair.
Taco would pay for that.
"Saya-chan," Usui broke her out of her distress as he unloaded on the black-haired Phantom. "Come guard my stash while I drown this creepy-bro."
Saya's eyes widened with an even more frantic scare.
"C-could you really drown someone with that?" her voice cracked in dread.
"No," Usui frowned softly at her as his aqua attack on the gangster died out. It was a water gun. Obviously it posed no serious threat. "Of course not," he plunge the tip of the bazooka into one of the water buckets at his feet and recharged the tank.
The Taco guy was distracted, coughing up water and blinking his bloodshot eyes, so Usui took the chance to approach Saya and get to the bottom of her abnormal behavior. He rested the super-soaker on his shoulder as he walked up to her.
"Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine," Saya blinked starkly at his fully loaded water guns. "Just d-don't point that thing at me," she stepped back with dire aversion.
Usui slanted his eyebrows in confusion. Why is she so jumpy around waterguns?
"You don't want to use one to spray him?" Usui offered her the big gun. "It's fun."
She shook her head definitively.
"Did he give you a concussion or something?" Usui felt her head and cheek in concern. "It's not a real gun, you know?"
"I know."
"But it bothers you?"
"Heeeheheh, aww, does it?" Taizo recovered from his water attack. "Does it still bother you after all these years, Wildcat?" the black-haired man looked at Saya with a knowing expression.
Saya paled.
"I thought you had gotten over that fear?...How interesting."
"Shut up," Saya growled through her teeth, a dangerously hostile look on her face.
Usui's focus flickered back and forth between the two; obviously he was missing something.
"Does it still haunt you?" Taizo continued to taunt for entertainment, darkening with pleasure at the chaos within the Wildcat's eyes. "That you let down your dear—"
"ENOUGH! COWARD!" Saya bayed wildly, contorting in a rage of pain. "SAY ONE MORE WORD ABOUT IT AND I'LL SHUT YOUR TRAP FOR GOOD!" the knives in her hand tightened.
"Minatsuki…" Usui attempted to call her out of her craze.
"Oo? Did we strike a nerve?" Taioz's lip curled in revolting obsession. "Perhaps I should thank you, Usui Takumi, for adding more fuel to the torment that burns in her heart."
Usui narrowed his eyes.
"Usui.."
He glanced at Saya. A chilling wrath possessed her features as she stared down the Taco.
"Smoke him," the Wildcat ordered. There was murder in her eyes.
*Pop!*
Usui fired his taser gun instead of the super-soaker, making Saya flinch at the unexpected noise. It hit the dark-haired man in the chest, shooting convulsions through him.
*SshocK-shock-ShshsHock*
Electric volts sprouted, being even more amplified due to his watery clothes and skin. Tendrils of his mopping wet hair were flickering. The Phantom barely cried out before he spasmed off his feet, writhing on the ground, sparks flying from the current of lightning energy.
"Whoa…" Usui stared.
"Yeah," Saya blinked at the lightning display veining through Taizo, lighting up his darkly dressed form. "Fireworks…Bitchin," she mumbled in praise.
"That won't kill him, right?" Usui surveyed the immobilized Phantom. The taser gun's hit died out, but he still twitched on the ground.
"Eh," Saya shrugged. "At this point, I could care less."
"Don't be so nasty, Minastuki," Usui took a step towards her. "It doesn't suit you."
"Usui, he tried to shank me," Saya held up the knife as evidence. "He tried to kiss me. I think I'm allowed to be a little pissed off!"
Usui's eyes locked on her with a deadly silence. His arms and chest tightening against the loose fitting army garb.
He held up the taser gun, "How many shots does this have? I want to shoot him again."
"You could," Saya nodded. "Or I could show you how gangsters do business with scumbags and we could stuff him into a barrel with a roll of toilet paper and ship him to Siberia. Your pick."
"Hmm," Usui pictured the idea. "That sounds nice."
"Cool. But before we do that," Saya put away the two knives, I just keep adding more and more to my collection. "Would you mind explaining why the hell you're dressed up like a G-rated badass?"
"Oo," Usui blinked at her and smiled. "You like?" he twisted his shoulders in front of her to give Saya all his best angles.
"Yeah, I am mind-boggled by your choice in wardrobe, G.I. Joe," she rolled her eyes with an honest smile. "Now what's with all the aquatic heat you're packing?"
"I wanted to go to war with you," Usui's expression fell into melancholy. "But my plans were spoiled."
"You were gonna attack me with those?" Saya's eyes popped in horror, pointing accusingly at the water guns.
"I was going to let you arm yourself first…maybe after I got one surprise shot in."
"Don't do that," Saya asserted with oppressive meaning. "Don't ever even think about doing something like that to me! I would freak out—I'm not even kidding!"
Usui studied her with care, his eyebrows furrowing. "Are you afraid of guns?"
Saya blinked awkwardly at him.
"Is that why this bothers you?" Usui gestured to his water weapons.
"Well.." she rubbed her shoulder absently, looking off. "…I don't exactly like them…"
Usui watched her closely. She wasn't telling him everything. He wanted to know, but he wasn't going to force it out of her now; not when she had just been attacked and looked so weak.
"No more water guns then, Minatsuki," Usui unslung the children's toys from his shoulders and dropped them in the ground. Saya watched him as he untied the bandana from around his forehead, his bangs hanging lower in his eyes.
"I promise." he stood in front of her and gently wiped the gore from her forehead. She had a gash on her eyebrow that was raw and bleeding. There was a scrape on the side of her chin too.
"Well.. good," Saya tried to pull her head away with an uncomfortable expression, but Usui swooped the sash of the bandana over her head, hooking around her back and shoulders, roping her in.
"Hold still," Usui pulled her closer. "So I can bandage you up."
"Fine," she scowled at him. Even against the orange light of the street lamps, he could see her skin glowing pink. He tied the bandana over her eyebrow, a little sideways around her head.
"There."
"Thanks," Saya stubbornly wiped her cheeks with her sleeve, then threw her hood up and looked away from the alien. His green eyes were just a little too distracting at the moment.
If I was the kind of person who liked hugs, I would so glomp you right now, Usui, you don't even know—SSSSHUT UP! YOU ARE SPIRALING DOWN A VERY DANGEROUS PATH—look at his jawline *droool*—YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AWAY—
"—OH CRAP! YOU'RE RIGHT! I'M SORRY!" Saya covered her eyes in panic.
"…Sorry for what?"
O…O
F***********************************************DAMMIT YOU IDIOT! Saya cursed herself inwardly.
"U-umm," Saya pulled her hood down all the way past her nose. She could not bear the depth of her embarrassment. "N-nothing…"
"Saya?"
"Y-yeah?" Saya's voice came out squeakier than she intended.
"Spread your arms and legs out please."
….Whuuuh? Saya squinted in appall from under her hood.
"ExCUSE me? What the—HEY!" Saya squirmed before she could pull her hood off to look the pervert in the face.
Hands.
Hands were tingling down her back, rummaging over her butt, down her legs where they shouldn't and back up her thighs—
"DEGENERANT!" Saya swung her fist forward but hit nothing but air. Quickly she flipped her hood back. "USUI TAKUMI, YOU—"
"—I'm just taking what's mine, Saya," Usui grinned as his hand rolled over her hips. Then he held up a wallet, a cellphone, and a pair of keys. "You stole these from me."
"I would've given them back if you had asked!" she shoved him away, regretting it as her palms stung with the heat from contact with his bare chest. "You didn't have to pull a freaking pat-down on me!"
"You cop free feels off me without my permission," Usui stated his case with an unashamed appeal. "I wanted a turn."
"…." Saya's mouth hung open like a broken hinge, air leaking out of her lungs. "I…I-I…I d-don't…c-cop…f-ffffeels-s," she sputtered in flaming humiliation.
"You had your hands in every pocket of my pants. If that's not groping, then I'm not a pervert."
"THAT'S DIFFERENT! I NEVER STEAL FROM YOU WITH THE INTENTION OF GROPING! THAT'S HOW I GET AWAY WITH IT! BECAUSE I NEVER ACTUALLY TOUCH YOU!"
"Could you try to next time? As a special favor to me?"
Saya's entire being blushed at the idea. "NO!"
Why did he have to mess with her like this? Why did he have to look so sexy and serious when he was asking such stupid questions like that?! He was winding her up with insufferable temptation.
"You're an idiot! I'm going home!" she stomped grudgingly. Her disoriented mind a whirlwind of confusion.
"I thought we were going box up Taco and ship him for delivery?" Usui asked with genuine disenchantment.
"I don't care anymore," Saya didn't look back. "Leave him for the pigeons." There were a few banging noises behind her and when Saya reached the edge of the alleyway she looked back.
Usui had stuffed Taizo into a trashcan, or at least she assumed so, since the creeper's body had disappeared. Usui slammed the lid down closed, used some of his grenade belts to lash the lid firmly to the can, then he kicked it on it's side and the barrel hit the ground with a loud crash.
With much grace, Usui stepped on top of metal cylinder and steadied himself like a pro logroller. Picking up speed, he rolled his balancing act towards Saya, the trashcan clanging along as Usui propelled forward with his feet.
"Heading to the circus?" Saya couldn't help but laugh at him.
"I thought I'd start with a flight of stairs," Usui continued to teeter like a child on a fallen tree trunk treadmill.
"Do you want background music?" Saya pulled out her iPod and started playing the Rawhide theme song.
"Rollin, Rollin, Rollin, RawwHIIIIIIDE!"
"Do you have anything less cowboy themed?" Usui asked.
"Like what? 'Rolling in the Deep'?" Saya thought over her library.
"I think you and I both know another song that would fit the situation perfectly."
Saya looked up at him from under her hood, trying not to let her smile break through.
Usui was beaming down at her with his classic impish smirk, green eyes shining brightly through his highlighted bangs.
"You think that just because I'm part of gang means I have that stupid song?" Saya eyed him brazenly.
"Maybe..." Usui looked her in the eye with a devious glimmer.
"...Yeah I do," Saya admitted and scrolled for the song both of them were thinking.
...
…~o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~…
...
"Still, I'll never be as good as you Kanou-kun," Yukimura whined as he and his taller friend walked home from the arcade.
"You just need more practice, Yukimura," the glasses-wearing high schooler replied.
"I can't even beat level one!"
"It takes time," Kanou sighed at his unskilled comrade. "There's no need to get so worked up over—"
"They see me Rollin.
They hatin..
Patrolling, they trying to catch me ridin dirty.
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty,"
"Huh?" both Kanou and Yukimura looked up at the sound of blaring music. It was rather late, so Kanou wondered who would be inconsiderate enough to play the radio so loud.
"Is that Usui-san?" Yukimura pointed across the intersection. "And..S-Saya Minatsuki?"
Swagging down the sidewalk to the beat was the Wildcat, discing her hands in front of her like a rap star while Usui rolled next to her on a flipped over trashcan.
"Tryin to catch me ridin dirty,"
Kanou had no idea why, but Usui was wearing a guerrilla warfare costume, and he was somehow managing to dance on top of the garbage can, rolling his hips as he pulled a dexterous maneuver to twitch his position in his balancing act and walk backwards on the trash can.
"My music so loud, I'm swangin,
They hopin that they gon catch me ridin dirty,"
The pair of bopping teenagers shot each other thug-like looks and (bordering on crude) hand gestures as they mouthed along with the song with overly obnoxious emphasis.
Kanou and Yukimura just stared.
"Tryin to catch me ridin dirty,
Tryin to catch me ridin—"
Suddenly a police siren sounded.
"IT'S DA PO-PO!" Saya whirled around at the flashing lights. "ABANDON THE CRIPPLES!" she grabbed Usui by the hand and yanked him down. "VAMANOS MUCHACHO!"
Usui kicked the heavy trashcan out of his path with a grin before he broke into a sprint along with the Wildcat, the two of them flashing down the street and zipping around a corner.
"What the hell is going on?" Kanou blinked as the police car stopped next to the forsaken trashcan.
The police officer talked into his radio before getting out of the car and trying to stand the metal can right side up. Noticing the strange weight, the officer investigated the contents, and the limp form of a man tumbled out of the canister.
"AAHHHHHHHHHH!" Yukimura and Kanou both screamed in shock.
"OH NO!" Yukimura cried. "USUI-SAN'S BEEN SUCKED INTO A LIFE OF CRIME!"
…..
…..To Be Continued…..
I would like to start off by saying murder is wrong. Gangs are bad. But I think Usui would have SOO much fun acting like a mobster.
I hope this chap wasn't too dark with the Taizo/Saya fight. But I have to set up for a flashback I have planned. Also is it just me, or did the OC seem a little bitchy these last few chaps? I was trying to write it from the point of view of her being upset over her brother but idk if it's killing the vibe...?
Next is a chap I've been looking forward to, Violet in Wonderland, you know what I'm talkin bout! Saya is in charge of an event for the Seika High Class Festival. The Wildcat and Usui will go head to head against each other, but what is the event? It's not culinary related, but there will no doubt be some fiery action and lots of laughs! I promise! muwahahahahahhaha! Stay tuned! AND PLEASE REVIEW!
Next Chapter: The Points Don't Matter