Author's Note:
Author's Note:
(Puts up invisible shield that turns anything into slugs if they touch the shield. Angry mob of cliff-hung readers wait outside, clicking their tongues and tapping their feet)
Okay. Now that I'm temporarily safe, I would like to express my lame apologies once more, for taking so long. Exactly 'WHY have I been taking dinosaur years to complete an effing chapter?', you ask? Well, the reason is quite simple, actually:
We don't have our own computer anymore.
Okay, that's wrong. The reason why is because, yes, we have a computer in our house, but it doesn't have an internet connection anymore, so I have to go to the internet shop and download the chapters, etc.
Another problem is, I'm currently studying in UP Baguio, which is 6-8 hours away from the city of Manila, where I live. I don't have a laptop to type my fics with (the ballpen is to slow to write down all my thoughts) so, there. I'm going to warn you guys that updating my fics would take a pretty long time, and I'm kind of getting tired of squeezing my brain for scenarios. The fire's dying out. So if you WANT me to finish it, you should demand of me (although not that much, please… :D) and rekindle the flames of inspiration. In short, review. Hihi. Tell me your ideas, insights, comments, anything. They would greatly help. Also if you see any misspelled words or wrong grammar. I have this habit of not re-checking my work after I've finished with it. :D
Oh, and one more plea, please. For those who are members of , could you please, please, pretty please download me some manga? I can't find time to do so anymore (what with papers, long exams, and fic writing), so… could you please download it on your computer and send it to me at my email? PM me if you're willing to, and I'll give you my email address. Please, please, please?? I'm like… desperate. It'll help with the fic, too. I swear it will. The last manga about Naruto that I've read is the one where Sasori (faint!!)'s grandma gave her life to Gaara and Gaara woke up with 99.9 of his village around him. That's it. I'm desperate… T.T
Alright then. On with the much-awaited chapter.
Disclaimer: "I don't like repeating myself" – Shino
CHAPTER 11: YELLOW CAB PIZZAS AND HEADS
Shikamaru's brain went blank.
Yup. 200 worth of IQ went down the drain! He could hear the toilet in his brain flushing. Gurgle, gurgle, glug, glug…
He couldn't hear, he couldn't talk, and for some reason, his knees had turned to either overcooked spaghetti or jelly. He was just… there, staring ahead at the most… unbelievable sight in front of him.
Ino was standing at the bath tub, her face blushing like there was no tomorrow, wearing NOTHING.
Okay, exaggeration. She was holding a white towel, which JUST covered her front.
Oh, yeah. She was screaming as well, as if all hell broke loose. But as mentioned earlier, Shikamaru had gone brain-dead and he couldn't hear anymore. All he could do was look. No, STARE. No, NO! Ogle. He ogled at Ino as if he had seen her for the first time in his entire life. Well, half true, this WAS the first time he had seen her half-naked…
"SHIKAMARU, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BATHROOM!!" Ino yelled. When Shikamaru didn't respond, Ino took the nearest object – the SINK - and threw it towards Shikamaru. It hit its target with a satisfying (and pretty loud, too) CLONK!
The toilet in Shikamaru's head which was busy draining all his 200 worth of IQ slowly backed up and spilled out, and therefore, making Shikamaru regain his intelligence. As soon as he did, he was able to dodge the second thing Ino threw, which was the TOILET. He felt the bump on his head throb irritatingly and remembered that the sink had hit him a while ago. The pain sinked in. (hahaha! Get it? SINKed in? Hahaha! Haha! Haaa…. Whatever.)
"Ouch, Ino!" Shikamaru said.
"GET OUT YOU FUCKING PERVERT! OUT! OUT! OOOUUUUUTTTTT!!" Ino yelled crazily, throwing everything she could towards him. It was just then that Shikamaru remembered what had happened, and he rushed quickly out of the room, his face redder than a fully-ripe tomato. He didn't just ran, he scampered away, just like a deer. No, he was NOT skipping on four legs.
When he was a good 50 feet away from the bathroom, he was able to clear his head, and go back to what had happened er… a lifetime ago.
'Let's see…' Shikamaru thought, doing his famous thinking pose. 'Uhm… stupid mission was assigned to me and Ino… the janitor –'
"IT'S CLEANING MAN, YOU IDIOTIC PERV!!" A voice screamed from the deep, dark shadows. Shikamaru's eyes went O.o. What was the fucking janitor–?
"I SAID, IT'S CLEANING MAN, DAMN IT! DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND?!"
FINE, then. Going back to MY fanfic and Shika's thoughts, what was the fucking CLEANING MAN doing in Shikamaru's thoughts?! He stared around him and thought again.
'Jaaaani-'
The ja- ergh… CLEANING MAN appeared beside Shikamaru and roared.
"I. SAID. THAT. IT'S. CLEEEEAAAANNNNNIIIIINGGGGG MAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!" he roared, blasting Shikamaru's eardrums into itty bitty bite-sized pieces—
"That comes in original peanut butter earwax flavor!" a commercial narrator said. "But wait! There's more! Shika's Surprise also has eardrums in strawberry shortcake flavor, honeybunch sugarplum pumpywumpy-umpkin flavor, sweetie pie flavor, cupy-cake gumdrop snookum-shookim-sfpor apple of the eye flavor! If you want something new, try Shika's Surprise! It's sooooo surprising! Not recommended for children. Has no therapeutic relief. Does NOT raise your IQ to 200."
"THAT IS THE LAST STRAAAAW!" Shikamaru roared, suddenly rising up, and angrily ripping of his shirt, revealing a large, muscular torso with matching scars, tattoos and pumping veins. His eyes turned yellow and fangs started to appear—
"Eiw, that's just GROSS…" the Jan—ergh, the cleaning man said, staring at me.
"You dumbass, the fangs appeared in his TEETH, not in his EYES!" I said angrily, painting a 2000 ton anvil on top of him and making it drop on to him. He was squelched, his insides covering the rest of the room except, of course, me (insert evil laugh here).
Anyway, going back to Shika's gory transformation, he was just growing another face in his stomach when the janitor—
Cricket noises. Tumbleweed.
Oh, I forgot, he's dead. Janitor, janitor, JANITOR, jaaaannniiiittttooor, JAAAAAAAAANNNIIIITTTTOO—
"Alright, SHUT UP, ALREADY! WE GET IT!" Shikamaru yelled, his evil yellow eyes glaring at me. I 'hmph'-ed and…well, going back.
Shika was just growing another face in his stomach when the janitor's liver hit him on the face. He stared. The janitor had been squelched by some 2000 pound anvil.
'Hm, where'd THAT come from?' he thought. He then put his giant alligator claws in the shadows and pulled out a nervous man, who looked freakishly familiar.
"HEY!" Shikamaru said, glaring at him. "Aren't you that idiot who kept interfering?!"
"Uh, no, that was my second-cousin to my third aunt of my sister's brother from my father's second wife which is my great, great aunt's cousin to my uncle's wife's cousin once removed, Rob." He said, fumbling with his microphone and holding a packet of Shika's Surprise.
"Then who the hell are YOU?"
"I'm Todd, Rob's second-cousin to his—"
"ALRIGHT. I get it." Shikamaru said, rubbing his temples. "Damn, how many of your family are there in this fic?"
"Well, I'm not really sure, but this really nice, beautiful, gorgeous, hot, attractive, kind, adorable, cute, brilliant, amazing, intelligent, stunning young woman who's currently typing our conversation and turning your world, my world and our world into a living hell told me there's a lot of my family in this fic, and that we'll continue to disturb, haunt, bring chaos and stupidity into your world until your dying day." He said happily.
"What's her name?" Shikamaru said, narrowing his eyes at me.
"Oh. Her name's—"
A giant comet suddenly swooped down and knocked Todd out of Shikamaru's anaconda-like grip. After that, the giant comet bounced on top of Todd happily until Todd was reduced to nothing.
A small air hole suddenly sounded from somewhere, and Shika's gruesome appearance deflated, leaving his scrawny, ab-less, thin—
"I get it. They get it. We all get it. No need to go into details, y'know…" Shika muttered angrily.
— body. He scratched his head, completely clueless. He sat down, and began to think of what had happened a while ago. BEFORE the complete chaos that followed the janitor.
'Let's see…' Shikamaru thought, doing his famous thinking pose once again. 'Uhm… stupid mission was assigned to me and Ino… the janitor and I had a… er… "fight"… Ino and I caught aliens… howled like a baby because of my dear deer… moment thingy with me and Ino… Ino and Konni going for a bath… crash in the bathroom… me going inside… Ino nakeeeeoookay, that's what happened.' Shikamaru thought, blushing against his own will.
At that moment, he heard the sound of heels clicking on the tiled floor, right behind him. Sweat started to trickle down his forehead. His hands went cold, and his heart started beating triple time—
"With thoughts of loving you ooon my mind…
I can't figure out just whaat to dooo,
When the cause and cure is youuuuu…" a voice started singing in the background. Shikamaru looked around. A guy was wearing a pink, sparkly gown with a halter top and a slit on both sides which reached half his thighs, and he was wearing, yes, you guessed it, a wig that looked very similar to Jojo's hair.
"Holy crap." Shikamaru said, his eyes going 'O.o'
"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiii geeeeetttt soooooooooooo wikindanis, I can hardly speak,
I looooose all control and then something takes ooooover mi
In a daze, I feel so a-may-zing
Iiiiiiit's not a phaaase, I want you to staaaayyyy with—"
Suddenly the guy in the gown flipped his fake, Jojo-like hair, making the wig fall and revealing…
"NEJI, IS THAT YOU?!" Shikamaru screeched, staring at the black-haired Hyuuga who was standing in front of him, fumbling with his microphone and swaying his hips from side to side.
"AAaahhh... no!" Neji replied in a voice similar to those giant trees in the Lord of the Rings. He cleared his throat. "Erm, I mean, no, this isn't Hyuuga Neji…" he said in the girliest voice he could possibly do.
"Yeah. RIGHT," Shikamaru said sarcastically, going nearer the now sobbing Neji in front of him and gently lifted his face with one hand. Cheesy, romantic music played in the background and flowers of different kinds suddenly popped out everywhere, with flying butterflies to match. "I know it's you…" Shikamaru said softly, gazing into Neji's eyes. Neji blinked pathetically back at Shikamaru, his lips slightly pouting.
"Shikamaru…" he whispered, closing his eyes and moving towards Shikamaru.
"Neji…" Shikamaru whispered back. He leaned closer to Neji's ear, and then…
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, WEARING HINATA'S PROM DRESS?!" he screamed, permanently rendering Neji deaf in one ear. Neji looked back at Shikamaru, his eyes sparkling with tears and his face expressing utmost shock and annoyance.
"How DARE you!" Neji replied breathlessly. "For your information this is MY DRESS! MY PROM DRESS!"
"Where the HELL did you get it?!"
The lights suddenly turned off, except for a spotlight on Neji, who had his back turned against Shikamaru. Reggae music suddenly started playing and as Neji turned around, he snatched the dress off himself to reveal himself wearing a two-piece lavender bathing suit, and he started to sing:
"I got it from my momma,
I got it from my momma,
I got it from my momma,
I got it, got it, got it, got—
I got it from my momma!"
"WHAT THE FFFF—EATHER!!" Shikamaru said, watching one of his best buds lap dance in front of him. Mokona suddenly appeared on top of Shikamaru's head and 'boing!'-ed happily.
"Didja find the feather?!" it asked him. Shikamaru stared incredulously at Mokona, who was still 'boing!'-ing happily.
"YOU'RE IN THE WRONG ANIME!!" Shikamaru screamed, while he started inching away from Neji who was STILL trying to seduce him. Mokona pouted, and 'boing!'-ed away.
Neji was still singing.
"I got it from my momma,
I got it from my momma,
I got it from my momma,
I got it, got it, got it, got—
I got it from my momma!"
"OH. MY. GOOOOOODDDDD!!"
Shikamaru turned around. There was Ino, standing behind him, looking so hot in a purple spaghetti-strapped blouse and white denim skirt, wearing high-heels, and her long, shiny blond hair tied up in a ponytail. The only thing that ruined the whole view was the look of mixed disgust, hurt and shock on her face. Shikamaru opened his mouth to speak, but Ino screamed earlier.
"I KNEW IT!!" she said, stamping her foot angrily on the ground and pointing an accusatory and shaking finger on the two teens in front of her. "OhmyGOD!! THE FOUR OF US WERE RIGHT! THE FOUR OF YOU ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER! OHMYGOD!" Ino said hysterically, her whole body shaking.
"ExCUSE ME?!" Neji said, his hand going to his chest for emphasis. "Shikamaru is SOO NOT my type! Uh-uh, no way. We ain't feelin' the same thang for him, girlfriend," Neji said, suddenly having a Beyonce-like accent in his voice.
"UGH, whatever, Neji!" Ino said in frustration. She rounded up on Shikamaru, who was trying to string two words together to defend himself, but for some reason, couldn't.
"I-Ino, I… I…"
"You WHAT, Shikamaru?" Ino spat angrily, staring at him with the iciest and most hurt expression Shikamaru had ever seen her give him.
"I… It's not… I mean…" Shika said, gesturing like mad. Ino snorted, shook her head and stormed past him, angrily, towards the door.
Ino was walking out on him.
"Ino, wait!" Shikamaru called, turning around to face her, wanting desperately to run, but, somehow, his feet wouldn't follow. Ino ignored him.
"INO! PLEASE, WAIT!!" he screamed desperately. 'C'mon, you dumb feet!' he thought angrily, feeling hot tears prickling behind his eyes. 'Move! Moooove!'
And finally, he staggered forward, and ran to catch up with Ino, who was already at the door.
"INO, PLEASE!" he screamed, stopping to a halt a few feet away from Ino. "You don't understand!"
Ino stopped, her hand at the door handle, and slowly turned around. Shikamaru was shocked.
Ino was standing there, her eyes glistening, tears running down her made-up face, her cheeks and nose red.
"You're right," she sniffed, her hand tightening on the handle. "I don't."
And without another word, she pulled open the door and ran out of the school, leaving Shikamaru in the dark. Shikamaru sank to the floor, scratching his head.
"This is so troublesome…" he said wretchedly, massaging his temples.
"Ino, calm down…"
"That bastard…" Ino sniffed. "That freaking—ulp—lying bastard…" Ino sniffed, wiping her nose with the tissue Sakura was handing her.
It was a quarter to ten, and they were all cooped up at the Yamanaka Estate, in Ino's large bedroom. Ino was sitting on the bed, her comforters around her, which were hidden under the mounds of crumpled tissue paper scattered all over the room. Sakura was kneeling beside her, holding a box of Kleenex and a bottle of water.
"Never mind that perv," Sakura said, continuing to rub her best-friend's back. Ino gave a hearty sniff. "Besides… you aren't the only one deeply affected, you know."
Ino looked up. Hinata and Ten-ten had turned into serious nutcases. Hinata was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and slowly rocking back and forth, mumbling words Ino couldn't understand. Every now and then, she would hear the words, "Neji-nii-san", "Pink dress" and "Momma".
Ten-ten's case, however, was more serious. She had set up a Neji dummy wearing the exact, same pink dress. It looked realistic, actually; it was detailed from the color of his skin to the traditional Bird-in-a-cage seal on his forehead.
However, it now looked like a pincushion, because Ten-ten had pierced it with every weapon she had; which was a lot, actually. There were senbon needles, kunai knives, giant maces, axes, daggers, scissors, butcher knives, bolos, forks, ballpens, pencils, blades, and almost every sharp object which was capable of badly injuring a person. Most of the sharp objects were thrust on the area between the dummy's legs, and on its forehead, right where the seal was. Ten-ten now sat in a corner, her whole body sweating, a devilish aura surrounding her. Her eyes were red, too, but there were no tear stains on her cheeks. Her hair had loosened from her tight buns and her whole body was shaking as she fought for control. Beside her were empty bottles of Gatorade, and twin scrolls. She was breathing hard.
"I'm tho thorry, guyth…" Ino said, her voice nasal. She blew hard on yet, another tissue. "I dithnd mean fur thith to happ'nth."
"It's okay, Ino, you don't need to apologize," Ten-ten said moodily, grabbing another Gatorade bottle from the nearby refrigerator and taking a long gulp. "It's not your fault they're gay." She took another long drought. "Pssh. LAP DANCING." She finished the bottle and threw it to where the other empty bottles were stacked. "Pathetic." She said disgustedly, sitting back down again on the corner. Hinata was still speechless. She did nothing but rock back and forth, and mumble incoherently.
"Thill, I'b tho thorry…" Ino repeated, rubbing her red nose.
"Stop blaming yourself, Ino." Sakura said, starting to clean up all the tissue paper scattered across the large room. "You didn't mean to see it, and you DEFINITELY didn't WANT to." She pulled out the large tub of Häagen Dazs chocolate ice cream from the refrigerator and took the largest spoon she could find. She went back to Ino's bed, sat down, and handed Ino the ice cream and the spoon. "Cheer up, sweetie. There are lots of better men out there. And, they're REAL men."
"Sakura's right," Ten-ten said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, holding her own spoon and taking the first spoonful of ice cream. "You don't need him. WE don't need them. Let them be." She shoved the large mound of ice cream into her mouth. "Buffshards…" she said, her mouth full.
"Besides, why are you so affected?" Sakura asked, licking her spoon and raising an eyebrow at Ino. "Don't tell me you— "
"I DO NOT LIKE THAT GAY DEER!" Ino roared angrily, bits of ice cream splattering all over her blouse as she thrust her spoon wretchedly on the tub of ice cream.
"That's settled then. We'll continue with our girls' night out!" Sakura said happily.
"Mmmmph!" Hinata said suddenly, choking on her ice cream. "Where?"
"To the mall, of course. Where else?" Sakura said, gathering up all the crumpled tissue papers scattered all over the room. Ten-ten had produced a large spear and was skewering the crumpled tissue papers on the spear and putting it inside the Neji dummy's mouth. Hinata bit her lip.
"Mmm… I-I don't think that's such a good idea…" Hinata said quietly, staring at her shoes. Sakura looked up.
"Why?"
"Um… I heard… n-Neji-nii-san telling the other guys to meet up with him at the mall this evening…"
Silence. Sakura finished burning the last of the tissue paper in the nearby fireplace and cleared her throat.
"So?"
"Well… I thought that maybe… if Ten-ten and Ino saw them, it might upset them…"
"No. we shouldn't let that little thing upset our night. We're going to the mall whether they're there or not."
"Can we go to the weapons shop first? I'm fresh out." Ten-Ten said nonchalantly, thrusting another crumpled tissue paper ball into the Neji dummy's mouth.
"Already?" Sakura asked. Ten-ten pointed to the Neji dummy now stuffed with extra tissue paper and was burning on a steak. Sakura shook her head. "Oooh…"
"Wait, I'll just take a shower and get dressed."
"Sure, Ino." Sakura said, smiling. "I think I'll do the same."
"Don't drown yourself in the shower." Hinata said knowingly, smiling that ala-Mona Lisa smile again.
"Darn it, Hinata. How'd you know…?" Ino said lamely, a tired smile on her face. Ten-ten laughed.
"It's kinda obvious, actually." Ten-ten said, grinning. Sakura looked at her three best friends, and a thought suddenly popped in her head.
"Hey, why don't we watch a feel-good movie?" she asked.
"What kind of movie?" Ino asked, pulling out her violet, fluffy robe and a towel.
"Anything funny." Sakura said simply. "Then let's go to the barbeque house and eat to our heart's content. How does that sound?"
"Sounds nice." Ten-ten said, smiling.
"After that, let's relax at my dad's spa."
"Alriiiight!" Ten-ten said happily. "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!"
"I want red wine!" Hinata said happily. "That would go great with the barbequed meat!"
"You're right!" Sakura said happily. "Hey, why don't we just watch a movie at our place?"
"Sure! That sounds better!" Ten-ten said happily. "That way we don't have to see those stupid chick-catchers."
"Right-O." Sakura said, smiling. "But first we'll have to shop for the stuff we'll be eating."
"Whee! Sureness!" Ino said happily. "I want Yellow Cab's New York's Finest!" she licked her lips. "Mmmm… or Manhattan meat lovers with four cheese pizza…"
"Nice one, Ino." Sakura said happily. "We'll decide what we want then. I'll be the one going out."
"No, I'll go out." Ten-ten said. "I need to buy stuff."
"I'll come with you." Hinata said.
"No, I will." Ino called from the shower. "I need fresh air."
"Are you sure?" Sakura asked tentatively.
"Yeah, no biggie."
"Okay then…"
"So! Let's get this list started." Sakura said, taking a pen and paper. Ino stepped out of the bathroom.
"I want New York's Finest!"
"That. Was SO HILARIOUS!"
"Thank you, Sasuke. That's VERY helpful."
"But it IS!"
"Thank you, Naruto. You're such a helpful friend. I don't know what I'm going to do without you."
"Oh c'mon, Shikamaru. Don't act like such a—"
"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME HYUUGA NEJI! THAT WAS NOT A FUNNY JOKE!"
"Hey, it wasn't my fault, okay?" Neji said, leaning back on his squishy armchair and blowing his bubble pipe. "I didn't know Ino was there. I set it up to scare the shit out of your life."
"The problem is, Neji," Shikamaru said, grabbing a slice of pizza from the Yellow Cab box and biting furiously, "that what your stupid clone did didn't JUST SCARE ME. It made me THROW UP!" he took another large bite. Neji stopped blowing his bubble pipe.
"I'm sorry, dude."
"And now Ino's going to think I'm some sort of…"
"Gay." Sasuke and Naruto said at the same time, chewing on their New York's finest pizza slices. The two best friends laughed, and Shikamaru groaned, burying his face in a nearby pillow.
"Oh, c'mon Shikamaru. What does it matter to you if Ino thinks you're gay?" Sasuke said, licking his fingers. "Don't tell me—"
"I DO NOT LIKE THAT ASSUMING LITTLE BITCH!" he said angrily, pizza bits flying everywhere as he struck a fork into the remaining pizza slices.
"Good. So, who's up for some bowling?" Sasuke asked enthusiastically, standing up from his chair and pumping his fist in the air.
Cricket noises.
"Oh, sure. Wait guys, calm down, I can't control your hyper enthusiasm" Sasuke said monotonously, rolling his eyes.
"Whatever, Sasuke." Naruto said, munching on his pizza slice. "I—hey! There's no more pizza!"
"Then go get some more, dobe."
"I don't wanna! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I DON'T WANNA!!" he wailed, thrashing about in his squishy armchair.
"Alright, already! I'LL buy some more. Sheesh." Neji said, "Anything else you guys would like?"
"A funny movie. Anything funny." Shikamaru said, his face still in the pillow, waving his hand in the air. Sasuke scoffed.
"You don't need to rent a comedy flick, 'cuz." Sasuke said, smirking. "Put Naruto in a place without food and watch him. It'll be enough."
"Haha, very funneh." Naruto said, taking a huge gulp of soda.
"So, what else do you need, guys?" Neji asked.
"Wait, lemme write it all down." Sasuke smirked. "Knowing Naruto, it'll be a lot."
"You bet!"
"Damn, if I break my back carrying all those stuff—" Neji began, with a warning tone. Naruto scoffed.
"What? You'll glare at me with those purple eyes?" he asked, rolling his eyes.
"They're LAVENDER, damn it!" Neji said angrily. "There's a big difference!"
"Whatever. They're still purple." Naruto said, shrugging. "And, going back, what're you going to do if I DO order a lot?"
"If you order a lot and make me carry too much, I'll hide Hinata away from you forever." Neji said, smirking as he saw Naruto panic and blush for a few moments.
"I—well, what do I care?" he said, turning away. "I don't care…"
"Alright then." Neji said, pulling out his cell phone. "There's this dude named Carl who wants to date her. I'll tell him he's allowed to ask Hinata. Knowing Hinata's kind attitude, she'd allow it."
"But he's a jerk!!" Naruto said, waving his eyes frantically. "He's just going to try and see if he can have sex with her!!"
"So? Hinata's a big girl; she can take care of herself."
"Still!"
"What do you care?" Neji asked, smirking and raising an eyebrow.
"I—well, I…"
"Well?"
"Whatever." Naruto said, turning away. "I don't think I'll order that much."
"Haha. Sure, Naruto."
A pair of sandals walked slowly down the pavement, its heels clicking away. It cast a shadow on the street. Ino stared at her indigo-painted nails and sighed. What's wrong with me? She thought, kicking a nearby can. Everything around her was actually alive and energetic; the cars, the lights, the people rushing by; everything was so full of life! Except her.
It was as if all the life was sucked out from her, and nothing was left. Even when she passed by her favorite boutique, she didn't look up from her sulking. All she could see was the disgusting image of Neji lap-dancing in front of Shikamaru. And she didn't even know WHY she was dwelling on it.
C'mon, Ino! She thought, clenching her fists. Get it out of your system! Tonight is a night for your best buds! Don't think about that creep…
"So. What're we going to buy, Ten-Ten?" Ino asked cheerfully, turning around to face Ten-Ten.
"WE'VE BOUGHT EVERYTHING WE NEED!"
"Oh. So we'll go home now?"
"Yeah, sure." Said Ten-Ten's voice. "But first, I need a favor."
"Sure, but where are you?" Ino asked, scratching her head.
"BEHIND ALL THESE PLASTIC BAGS, DAMMIT!"
"Oh. Ooops! Sorry, Ten-Ten!" Ino said, rushing forward to help her best friend. "Are you sure we've got everything?"
"Yep. Here's the list." Ten-Ten said, handing Ino a sheet of paper. Ino pushed it back.
"Read it, then I'll look in the bag."
"DVD's?"
Rustle, rustle.
"Yep."
"Ice cream?"
"Got it!"
"That had better be Häagen Dazs, alright?"
"Yep. Chocolate and strawberry."
"Rightness!" Ten-Ten said cheerfully. "Alright, um… popcorn?"
"Check!"
"Coke?"
"In here!"
"Lots of fries from McDonald's?"
"Oooh yeah."
"…fitted, lace top with flannel sleeves and purple beaded choker??" Ten-Ten asked curiously. "Why is this on the list?"
"Oh." Ino said, making imaginary circles on the pavement with her foot. "That's mine. I'll pay you guys later."
"5 giant scrolls of weapons?"
"It must be this box here." Ino said, kicking one. She heard sounds of metals angrily hitting each other and making a racket inside. Ten-Ten didn't look up.
"Yeah, that's the one."
"Kyuubi bites?!" Ten-Ten asked again. Ino held up an orange box with a chibi Kyuubi on it, which was munching on a bowl of crunchy cookies which were shaped as chibi citizens of Konoha. Ten-Ten and Ino looked at each other.
"Hinata." They both said at the same time.
"Planter's cheez clubs?"
"Ooooh, yeah! It's here!" Ino said excitedly. "Awmaygawd, I'm so happy Sakura put in our favorite! There's four cans here, is that right?"
"Yep." Ten-Ten said, nodding. "How about Cali Ice?"
"Here too."
"Alright, then. Mmm…" Ten-Ten said, musing. "I can't read this… pot… potpurrr… huh?"
"Lemme see that." Ino said, peeking. "Hey. That's potpourri!"
"What's that?"
"It's some dried flowers and leaves stuff that are burnt, and it smells really great." Ino said, smiling.
"Oh. How's it pronounced again?"
"Pupuree."
"Oh. Like… shit-ree?"
"Hahaha. Funneh." Ino said sarcastically, though still with a smile on her face. Ten-Ten whisked an imaginary hat off her head and bowed.
"Thank you, thank you… you're too kind!" she said, bowing at the other sides. Ino laughed heartily.
"Alright! Yellow Cab Pizzas! 2 New York's Finest, one Manhattan Meat Lovers', and one Four Cheese!"
"Whohoo! The last one!" Ino said, rummaging around their packages. "It's all—"
Silence.
"GONE?" Ino said, scratching her head.
"What do you mean, gone?!" Ten-Ten asked hysterically. "Don't tell me we have to lug all this back to Yellow Cab?" she whined, falling to her knees. Ino blinked.
"Hey. I don't recall us going to Yellow Cab in the first place…"
"I—" Ten-Ten looked up. "You're right."
"C'mon."
"Shikamaru."
That was so stupid of me. I should've seen this coming. I should've. And now…
"Shikamaru…"
Hmph. This is so troublesome. Women. Why do they have to be so assuming little… arrrgh!
"Hey! FAGGOT!"
"WHAT?!"
"Do you mind? WE PASSED YELLOW CAB TWENTY BLOCKS AGO!!" Neji said angrily, throwing a stick (hm, where'd that come from?) at Shikamaru. It hit him on the bump he got from the sink Ino threw a few minutes ago.
"OUCH!" Shikamaru said, rubbing the sore spot while walking with Neji towards Yellow Cab. "That place is still sore!"
"Aww, but it's so cute, I'll hit on it again, watch, watch:" Neji said, smiling. As he walked towards the nearly-empty counter, he hit the lump with the stick.
"STOP HITTING ON IT! I'M STILL SORE!!" Shikamaru yelled angrily.
Dead. Silence.
Tumbleweed. Flying sand.
And theeere goes Shukaku.
"…I'M STILL SORE!"
Ino's eyes widened as she heard the voice. Her pulse quickened, and she felt herself go red. Taking the boxes of pizza in her hands, she slowly turned around. There, in front of her, was Shikamaru, rubbing his head.
Alright, his HEAD head, with the hair?
Okay, WRONG! His head, where his hair is all tied up, forming his pineapple head… erm.
The TOP OF HIS BODY! There we go!
Alright. After that much embarrassing confusion, we go back to the scene. nn
Shikamaru looked up. Ino was staring at him, all red and trembling. Thoughts sinked in. his eyes widened as she saw her look sadly away and start walking past him.
She was walking out on him. Again. Shikamaru couldn't move. For the second time in one day, he was denied his freedom to walk. And it was so infuriating. Why did he have to suddenly lose this ability to walk or move at times when he badly needed to? Especially now, when he had to catch up with Ino, who was slowly moving away, and was STILL assuming he was GAY, which is, of course, a big mistake. He may not be the most MANLY person around, like Gai or Jiraiya, but that doesn't measure his being a man. At all! And he needed to clear that out with Ino.
Finally, with much effort, he was able to, er, stumble towards the door, and finally, out of the street. Exactly why his legs went numb, he had no idea at all. But life's a mystery, and he had no time (or patience) to figure out why.
When he reached the street, Ino was a good five blocks away from him, walking steadily. The streets were dark, and there were only a few sources of light. Everything was cast in shadow.
And that's when it all clicked in. to the both of them, AT the same time.
Ino panicked. Oh no, SHADOW! She thought. Adrenaline rushed through her, and she started to run. She needed a wide, open, LIT space! For sure—
"Kage Mane!" Shikamaru whispered. The shadows around them sped quickly towards their target, which was trying to run off to the brightly lit basketball court. Ino ran, feeling the cool wind on her face and hair. She jumped on top of the cars, went around in circles and narrow paths, trying to shake off the shadow. It was like being chased by a stampede of wild buffalos. Or rampaging deer.
Unfortunately for her, although she was a wild boar herself, she got caught in a bush, her hair getting tangled around the dead branches. She was thinking of cutting it off, when she felt something crawling up her legs. She stared up at the sky, with it's stars twinkling back at her. She opened her mouth, to try to scream for Ten-Ten's help. But as she inhaled air to burst out a scream…
Everything went black.
Alriiight! Haha. The usual cliff-hanger, of course. And it is now, 12:51 am. Oh my god. And I'm supposed to be working on a paper, but I can't do it properly, so, I decided to do this, instead. God knows I put my heart and soul into it. haha. I was thinking of ending the shikaino here for the meantime, but, well, my head's throbbing and I have to wake up early tomorrow. I mean, later. By the way, it is already March 25, 2008. just a side note. I've actually been doing this for a VERY long time now, due to the reasons stated in the above author's note. But, yeah, it's the summer vacation already, so, there. I've got time now. At least. Haha. :D
I WILL start updating now, y'know. I've got some major debts to you guys, and I'm really sorry for the… large gap between my updates. I'll try to lessen them as much as I can.
Also, I'm serious about the narutofan thing. The manga thingy? Please pretty please, I do need it. whoever can give me some manga will have a cameo in the story. Haha. It all depends on how much you're willing to give. If you decide to supply me, well then, you'll be a main character in the rest of my Naruto fics. Swear. :D
So, that's it for now. I'm all hot and sticky because of the stupid heat (yes, it's still hot even in the evenings), and my head's throbbing like mad.
By the way, I would also like for you guys to read Comet Wong's fanfics. She's my super best bud and soulmate and she has inspired me (once again) to write. Haha! Love you, Comet! We actually know each other, and we're trying to make an original story, at . As of now, she's making it, but I will be making one as well, and, well… just wait for it.
Again, thanks guys. Sorry, and mucho mucho love.
Yours truly, and forever more in craziness galore,
Kisara28