Last chapter was the angst, here is the sarcasm. ...Among other things.
I'll work on Barret's dialect. I've had proper grammar drilled into my head by my mother since the day I left the womb, so it's almost painful for me to write like that, but I'll fix it. (I did go back and revise the last chapter).
Comments!
Cloti4life, yeah, I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out where I can bring in some stapler action, but it's still a possibility. Stop sign weapon = win. I really want to throw in a butler outfit now, but I will restrain myself as if would have nothing to do with the plot.
022, if your schedule is too busy for you to write, I guess I should be greatly honored that you take the time to read my story. Yeah, I kind of knew I was failing with the dialect. I'm not sure if I genuinely forgot to change it, or if I was just lazy and blocked it from my consciousness. And thank you!
Ledah13, for some reason I find psychos who can easily appear sane far more terrifying, and that's mostly that spawned Sephy's temporary Shinra cooperation. I'm think it'd be Sephiroth, but maybe I'll throw in some Jenova too. They're pretty close together on the creepy scale. I still don't have the naming in! Grrr. Story, be more mailable!
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Thank you too everyone for reviewing!
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This chapter doesn't advance the plot a great deal, but I much enjoyed writing it. You'll see why shortly.
"Have you seen a young woman with long dark hair and reddish-brown eyes?" Zack had asked the question so many times the meaning of the words hardly registered anymore.
"Can't say that I have," said the man at the counter.
"Alright, thank you for your time," Zack left the pharmacy and moved onto the grocery store.
"Have you seen a young woman with long dark hair and reddish-brown eyes?"
"Yeah, she was here," he answered.
"Really!" Zack exclaimed, straightening up from his dejected poster, "When? Where did she go?"
"I don't know. She was here about an hour and a half ago, but I didn't see where she went after that."
Zack let out an exasperated sigh and hung his head in defeat, "I just can't win today, can I?" Then he returned to formality, "Thank you for your time."
He left the store and turned to the first person on the street, "Have you seen a young- Oh, hi Cloud. Any luck?"
"No," he said, equally depressed, "I don't know where she possibly could have gone."
"Excuse me," said a thin male voice from behind them, "Are you looking for that pretty girl with the reddish eyes?"
They turned around to see a man sitting on the street, most likely homeless from the condition of his clothing.
"Yes!" Zack replied ecstatically, "Have you seen her?"
"Yeah, she's the last girl Corneo picked up."
"Corneo," Zack froze, "You mean Don Corneo?"
"That's the one."
"Just when I thought this couldn't get worse," Zack scratched the back of his head, "Well at least we know where she is. Thanks for the help."
"What's so bad about Don Corneo?" Cloud asked.
"You'll see when we get there," he answered, "Let's just find the others and get to Corleone's."
"Ouch!" Aerith stumbled over yet another mass of unknown junk as she made her way out of the dark laboratory, "I hate Shinra!"
"That makes two of us," answered a gruff voice.
Aerith froze. She thought this place was empty. Her eyes searched for the source of the voice, but her eyes had not yet adjusted to the darkness. The only light in the hallway was what still reached her from the lab. It was enough to make out a tall, thin form rising out of the ruble she had just kicked over.
"Who are you?" Aerith demanded into the darkness. A moment later, a man with a red coat and long, dark hair emerged.
"That's a good question," the light glinted off his bright red eyes.
"What do you mean?" Aerith asked, "You don't know your own name?"
"Oh, I know my name. My name is Vincent. I simply no longer recognize the significance of being named Vincent when there is no one left to call me by it. In addition, I hardly believe 'Who are you?' and 'What is your name?' to be the same question"
"Perhaps not," Aerith said, massaging her foot that hit what ever the darkness concealed, "What was that?"
"A coffin"
"Whose?"
"Mine"
Aerith decided that for the moment, maybe it was best not to ask, so she raised a different inquiry, "What are you doing in here?"
"I've slept here for years," Vincent answered, "I never thought anyone would come to this place again."
"Why are you here?"
"I could ask you the same thing"
"I- " Aerith hesitated, "I'm looking for someone. Someone I lost a long time ago." Perfect, she mentally congratulated herself. Just vague enough not to endanger anyone, but still true enough to sound genuine.
"I'm here because of someone I lost as well," Vincent replied, "But there is no hope of bringing her back, only of maybe earning a bit of her forgiveness."
"You can't live for the dead," Aerith told him, "If it was someone you loved and she cared about you, I doubt she would want you to waste away in a place like this. Make it up to her by doing something good with your life. And maybe even be happy a bit along the way."
"You're an interesting girl," Vincent said, "Perhaps action could be a form of atonement as well as punishment. However, I lack the talent for good deeds, only sins."
"Sins," Aerith repeated, "Well, there are plenty of those haunting this place. I want peace, but Hojo is one man I wouldn't mind seeing die."
"You're going after Hojo?" Vincent asked, with sudden new interest.
"I'm not sure exactly where this path will take me, but it could come up"
"That changes everything," Vincent lifted a large gun from his coffin, "I'll accompany you until you're safely out of Nibelheim."
"Alright," Barret asked just after Zack finished filling him and Cissnei in on the situation, "So how ya plannin' to get in?
"We haven't really got that far," Zack admitted, "They won't let men in, so we'll have to find some kind of stealthy solution."
"Or you could just let me go in," Cissnei said.
"Never in a million year am I letting you go in there by yourself," Zack replied.
"Why not?" she contended, "I'm a Turk. I've handled kidnappings, assassinations, and every other stealth mission in the book. You think I can't handle a creepy womanizer?"
"It's not that, it's just-"
"Just what? I'll be fine."
"Zack's right," Cloud cut in, "You can't go in a place like that on your own."
"Well, then what do you think we should do?" Cissnei asked, "Just leave Tifa in there? You want to rescue her don't you?"
"Yes, but.." Zack trailed off, unable to find an argument that sounded convincing, "There has to be some other way. -What's so funny?"
"There is one thing," Cissnei said stifling a laugh, "They only let girls in. If you won't let me go by myself, one of you could join me... as a girl"
"WHAT?" Zack and Cloud shouted in unison.
"You could pull it off. You two are almost pretty as it is," she teased, "I'm serious, it could work. So, any volunteers?"
Zack groaned, "I guess if someone has to do it, and it's definitely not going to be Barret, that means me"
Cissnei thought for a moment, studying them both, "I'm not sure. You're pretty tall to be a girl. And you have those scars on your left cheek that would be pretty hard to cover up. I think Cloud could probably pull it off better."
Due to his chronic social awkwardness, Zack had many times seen Cloud look uncomfortable. This, however, trumped them all.
"You've got to be kidding"
"Not at all," Cissnei's elation had faded at the prospect of Cloud being stuck as a woman instead of Zack, but she still looked slightly amused.
"I guess it's settled then. Come along, Miss Cloud," Zack had found his sense of humor now that he was no longer part of the dress up, "We'll find you something pretty."
Cloud opened his mouth to protest, but was dragged away by Zack and Cissnei before he could get the words out. Soon they were in a dress shop, which Barret refused to even enter, and Cloud was doing all he could to sink away into a corner and disappear.
"How about this one?" Cissnei held up a blue dress that would fully cover him from just below his chin to his ankles, crisscrossed with brown leather straps, "I think the more cloth there is covering him, the better."
"Sure," Zack had no idea what he was doing, but he would be there to watch, and laugh, at every minute of Cloud's transformation.
"Blue would look good on you," she commented, "It matches your eyes."
"Spectacular," Cloud responded dryly.
"Well, go ahead and try it on, Spiky," Zack ushered him toward a changing room. A few minutes later, Cloud's muffled voice was shouting through the door.
"Cissnei! How do you-! Ouch! Cissnei!"
They opened the door to find Cloud more tangled in the piece of clothing than either of them had previously thought possible. When Zack had finally gotten his raving laughter under control, he stepped forward to help.
"How about I help him straighten it out, then you give us instruction?" Zack suggested. Cissnei nodded in agreement and turned away. Once Cloud could breath again, his humiliation returned.
"I can get it"
"Yeah, sure you can"
"No, it's fine Zack, I got it"
"Ah, don't be embarrassed," Zack told him, "How do you think you got into a first class SOLDIER uniform? You may not remember it, but I've actually done this before."
"Not into a dress!"
"Yeah, that part's new," he stepped back, "Are these bandages?"
"Uh.. yeah," he answered, "I scuffed up my shoulder pretty badly while Cissnei and I were fighting Rude. I cleaned it out and everything, so it's fine. It's not a big deal."
Zack was still a bit suspicious, but he let it go, "Cissnei, how do you close this?"
"If he has it on, I can zip it up and do the weird clasp thing at the top myself."
Zack gave her the okay to come in and walked behind Cloud to save Zack from any more fumbling with the tiny clip. She paused, noticing a few of the deep scars that were now exposed, but said nothing.
"Is everything alright?" Cloud asked nervously.
"Yeah," she began the meticulous job of lining up the minute hook, "It's just really, really small. I'm sorry I picked such a complicated outfit for you."
"I know you said Cloud is the best to pull this off," Zack started slowly, "But now that it comes down to it..."
"After all that, you choose now to have second thoughts?" Cloud accused.
"I know, I know," Zack scratched the back of his head, "But I really don't like the idea of you two going in there alone."
"First it was Cissnei, now it's me and Cissnei," Cloud was clearly not in the best of moods, "Make up your mind, mother hen"
"Someone has to go," Cissnei added, "You're not going to 'like' anyone going, but there's no avoiding it." Then Cissnei's eyes lit up, "...Unless you want to come with us."
What was more important: maintaining his pride and masculinity, or making sure Cloud and Cissnei were alright? Finally, the overly protective side of him won out.
"Alright," he sighed, "Take it away Ciss."
It was rare that Cissnei dropped her mission focused attitude; after all, she had been taught that the world was against her since childhood. But now she grinned deviously, almost skipping as she bounded away to search for the most embarrassing thing she could force Zack into.
"The things I do for you," he said to Cloud, dreading Cissnei's return, "I just hope she doesn't try to make me where pink. It would ruin how much I think it looks good on Aerith"
"Aerith is the girl you met in the slums, right?" Cloud said.
Zack nodded, "I can only imagine what she'd say if she were here to see this"
Whatever Zack had been imagining Cissnei would come back with, this was worse. It was the frilliest thing he had ever seen; most women would probably be embarrassed to wear it.
"You can't be serious"
"It's a logical choice," Cissnei explained, "It will hide your shape and make you look less manly."
"Yeah, because wearing a dress doesn't do that enough already"
"Suck it up, soldier," she threw it too him, "I know you hate sleeves, but no girl has arms like that, so they're kind of required. I did the same thing to Cloud, so no complaining."
"You didn't make him where ruffles!"
"Yeah, but he's not a fun to mess with as you are"
"Your evil," he entered the dressing room, trying not think about what Barret would say when they got outside.
"Well, Angeal," he mused, "This time, I actually hope you aren't watching. Whenever I get up there, you're never going to let me live this down."
When he was finished fighting with the fabric from hell, he stepped outside to see Cissnei in a simple, but stunning black dress. She looked fantastic, but after what she had just put him in, there was no way he was going to give her a compliment of any kind.
"Do you hate colors?"
"No, I've just always worn black," she shrugged, "It's what I'm used to. Except usually in the form of a suit. I hate dresses almost as much as you two do."
Cissnei handed wigs to both of them, then sent them to a mirror. Zack almost didn't want to know, but curiosity forced him to look anyway. The worst part: he actually did look somewhat good as a woman.
"Cloud," he said, "Would you do me a favor? Please kill me. Quickly is preferable."
"How's double suicide sound?" he replied. Cissnei simply stood behind them and laughed until she was wheezing.
It only got worse when they went outside.
"Ya feel like bein' pretty too, Fair?" Barret asked.
"Shut up," Zack snapped miserably.
When they got back to Corneo's, he was actually somewhat glad that he and Cloud could pull off femininity relatively well.
"Come right in," the man at the doorway told them. Zack had done some weird things, but this was by far the most awkward. They were guided down a flight of stairs where they were reunited with none other than Tifa.
"Tifa!" Cissnei ran to her instantly, "You're alright!"
"I'm fine. How did you find me?"
"Zack found out where you were and he, Cloud and I came to get you," she gestured to the other two.
"You don't mean..." she looked closely at the other two, "That's-"
"Yup," Cissnei answered before Tifa even had to finish the question.
She laughed almost as hard a Cissnei did, then chocked out, "You look lovely"
"Hey, we did this for you," Zack told her.
"What are doing down here?" an angry looking man yelled as he came down the stairs, "Women these days. Always running off. Three of you this way."
"But there's four of us," Tifa answered.
"Well then... you... you" he pointed first at Tifa, then Cissnei, "and... you"
Cloud's eyes widened in horror, but he remained silent.
"Gentlemen prefer blondes," Zack smirked. Cloud glared at him, then turned to follow the others.
I'm trying not to add Zack and copy scenes from the original because that would get kind of boring, but I just couldn't resist putting Miss Cloud in here. Especially after wondering many times "I wonder what Zack would think if he were around to see this?"
Whatever anyone says, this was incredibly fun to write. (oodball, bring back any memories? ;) ) I don't mean to replace Aerith with Cissnei, but there was just no way I could work it out for her to be there.
I think I may have to slow down to posting every other day. Insomnia gives me a good chunk of the night to write, but every day is still a bit much. I'll do daily when I can, but every other day is still pretty fast, don't you think?
Thanks you reading!
Reviews are like Christmas in August!