I do not own the Young Riders.

Thanks for your reviews.

Lou

The ride was slow, as I knew it would be. The company was great as I knew it would be. But as we rode into St Joe my stomach filled with butterflies.

I had tried not to think too hard on what Emma and Sam needed, but now that I am here, it is all I can think about.

"Louise have you been listening to a word I have said?" Rachel asked with annoyance.

"Sorry Rachel my head is in another place."

"I say we head straight to the Hotel, find us a room. Then we will go and meet your friends."

"Sounds good to me," I agreed as we continued to make our way through the town.

After placing Lightning in the blacksmiths barn, and taking the wagon off of the other horse, Rachel and I made our way to the Hotel.

"Loulabelle, is that you?"

I spun round so fast that I nearly tripped over my own legs. There has only been one that has ever called me that.

"Emma," I ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her. She looked just how I remembered her.

"Oh Loulabelle, how I have missed you, and look at you," She said as she touched my hair, "the boys must be falling over themselves to impress you."

"Not exactly, no. Emma it is so good to see you." A clearing of a throat made me look up,

"Sorry and you to Sam," I hesitated for a second but gave him a hug as well.

"Let me introduce Miss Rachel Dunn," I pulled Rachel's hand to come stand next to me.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Emma. You left some pretty big shoes for me to fill,"

"It's a pleasure to meet you to Rachel, let me guess Jimmy is cooking..."

"Yes," we all laughed.

After we caught up for a minute I excused Rachel and I to go and find a room. I made dinner plans to meet with Sam and Emma later in the evening. Rachel declined the invitation, as she knew that they wanted to talk with me.

Settling into our room, we ordered two hot baths, and we both sunk down into the sudsy goodness.

After a long hot soak, I stepped into my blue dress, and did my hair. I was nervous as hell wondering what was going to come up at dinner.

After a quick goodbye to Rachel I made my way to the restaurant. I know that Emma wouldn't have asked me here for anything bad, but that still didn't settle my nerves.

I walked into the room and instantly found Sam and Emma. They were both in deep conversation, and they looked as nervous as I felt.

I walked up to their table,

"Evening," I said, causing the two of them to look up and stop with their discussion.

"Oh Loulabelle, you look lovely," Emma smiled. She has always been a motherly figure, where with Rachel I would consider us more friends.

"Thank you Emma and you too." Sam got up and pulled my chair out for me.

"So what has been happening with you two these last few months?"

They sat and told me about Sam's job, and how great the town was. Emma isn't working but does lots of volunteer work for the school. This prompted me to ask if children were on the cards for them.

"We have been trying to have children for a while now. I'm guessing god has other plans for us." Emma said sadly.

"I'm sorry Emma, I didn't know."

"You couldn't have known Louise, please don't worry."

"Tell me Louise what are your plans regarding Teresa and Jeremiah?" Sam asked. The question took me back for a minute, it seemed so formal.

"Well I had hoped that I would have them with me by now, but life has been rough, I haven't had the chance to settle anywhere, and now that I'm no longer riding..."

"When did that happen? Mr Spoon didn't fire you did he?" Emma asked appalled at the thought.

"No he didn't fire me. I just decided to become Louise again. I was losing myself and I was tired of pretending. I ah..." I wondered for a brief moment if I should tell them what happened, but decided I trust these two with everything.

"I was attacked a few months back, shook me up pretty bad,"

"Attacked as in..." Sam pressed,

"Two men raped me," I admitted quietly. Emma gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, while Sam looked away seeming angry. "One of them wanted a gun fight with Jimmy, and thought the only way they were going to get Jimmy to give in, was to go through me."

"Oh Louise, you poor child, I'm so sorry honey." Emma cried.

"I aint' going to lie to you, it has been hard, but with the boys, Teaspoon and Rachel by my side, I'm healing."

We were quiet for a moment until I remembered how we got onto the conversation in the first place.

"Why did you ask to meet me here?" I blurted out.

"I don't think we should discuss that tonight, not after what you have just told us," Sam sternly said.

"No please tell me, I have been going stir crazy, I can't wait another day." I told them.

Sam and Emma stared intently at each other, having a silent conversation, but with a nod from Emma, Sam started.

"We would like your permission to adopt Teresa and Jeremiah," Sam said calmly.

I shook my head disbelieving what I was hearing. That was the last thing I expected to hear. At first I wanted to scream no, you can't have them, they are mine. But I couldn't, because no matter what, I know that by the time I'm able to have them with me, they will be old enough to go out in the world on their own. I didn't want that for them.

"Why would you want to do that? I mean they are nearly grown up, wouldn't you want a baby, and why them?"

"A baby would be nice, and we think that there is still time for that. We had discussed adoption when Emma told me of your brother and sister. The thought of them there, with pending war on our doorstep, and knowing how much they mean to you, well we sought of think of you as family Lou, and they are a part of you.

We are in a good position to do this Louise, we have our own ranch, and the town we're in is quiet and has great schooling. We would love to do this, if you would allow us too."

I could feel my eyes water, but I don't think it was from sadness, but I think it was honour, respect and being utterly grateful for them to want to do this. Though a part of me was sad, sad that I couldn't give Teresa and Jeremiah the life they deserved.

"We're sorry Loulabelle, we didn't want to upset you, just forget we said anything."

"No Emma, you haven't upset me. Yes I would love to be the one who gives Teresa and Jeremiah the life that they deserve, but I'm smart enough to know that may never happen. I could work day and night and still not be in a position to help them. And like you say with the war coming, it would be safer for them to be in a home instead of the orphanage. I would be honoured if you adopted them. You have my blessing."

"Oh Louise you have made us so happy," Emma cried as she got up from her chair to give me a hug.

After working out a few details, I went to bed and cried that night. I cried when I thought about staring in the eyes of Teresa and Jeremiah, telling them how I had failed as a sister. I cried when I realised that I needed Jimmy more than I should and I cried for the unknown future.

I fell asleep at some time of the early hours. Rachel had left me alone for the night. Maybe she heard my tears and gave me my distance.

The following day I went with Sam and Emma to see the judge. He wrote up some papers that had to be signed by us all. It all seemed so formal, that I worried I was doing the wrong thing.

That night we all went out for supper. It was decided that Emma and Sam would leave for home as soon as we were done with the orphanage, so this was our last night together.

Rachel got on well with them both, and she told Emma some tails of what the boys had been up too these last couple of years.

The following morning I dressed in my one and only blue dress, and readied myself to go to the orphanage. I hoped that Jeremiah and Teresa both understood why this was necessary but knowing Jeremiah he will find something wrong with the situation.

I rode with Emma on the buck board while Sam rode next to us, with Lightning trailing behind. I tried to sound positive about this whole thing, but I was failing miserably.

"It's not too late to change your mind Louise." Emma said sweetly from beside of me.

"Thanks Emma, I know that this is the right thing, but my heart is still catching up with my mind." I turned in the seat to look at her, "This is the right thing, and I know you and Sam, it would be different if we were strangers. So no, I won't change my mind." She smiled brightly as we made our way through the gates of the orphanage.

"Would you both mind if I go talk to them first?" I asked.

"Of course not Loulabelle, take your time."

I walked through the orphanage, looking for Jeremiah and Teresa. One of the Nunn's saw me and indicated with her eyes to the back of the large room.

Teresa was busy drawing a picture, while Jeremiah stood over her in a protective stance. I loved that he was there for her, but it upset me to think that he thought that was his job. He was still a boy he should be playing with the other boys.

I walked up to them, when both of their eyes found me. Teresa came running over with her arms out wide.

"Louise, Louise," I cradled her in my arms, while Jeremiah stood and watched.

"Teresa, Jeremiah, look at you both, you are so big." I told them as I crouched down to their level.

"Why haven't you visited? You said that you would come for us, that you would visit, where were you?" Jeremiah demanded to know.

"I know and I'm sorry Jeremiah. I truly am. But that does not mean that I haven't thought of you guys every day. I love and care for you so much, and I always will."

"Then take us with you Louise. I have had enough of this place I just want to leave." Jeremiah sulked. I could see the same stubbornness that I have in me, shining through him.

"Well that is why I am here,"

"You are taking us with you?" Teresa asked in excitement.

"Not exactly Teresa honey, but I have found a nice home, and a loving couple that would love to have you go live with them." They both seemed to ponder this for a minute.

"You don't want us?" Teresa finally said.

"Of course I want you, but I'm not in a position to take you. This way I know you are not here, and that you will be safe. I know Emma and Sam very well. They are both very good people, and you will learn a lot. I will know where you are, and I will come and visit you when I can."

"We've heard that before," Jeremiah muttered under his breath.

"You are right Jeremiah I have promised that before. I am sorry that I haven't full filled my promises, but please trust me when I say that Emma and Sam will make you happy. Don't you want to have a family again?"

Teresa nodded her head yes. I was pleased that she wanted a family, she was so young when our mother passed she has never really known that kind of love. I knew deep within my heart that this was the right thing to do.

"Jeremiah, you may not like me at the moment, I have given you nothing but reason not to, but can you please push aside those feelings and concentrate on helping Teresa. She needs you, and I know you need her to. You will be together, and you will be safe, do this for her."

"For Teresa," he said. I smiled at my brother. I was pleased that he cared enough about Teresa to do this.

I walked out and called Sam and Emma in. Together the five us sat and shared stories. Emma was smiling from ear to ear, she was so happy, and I was as well. Sam was good with Jeremiah, and I knew that he would grow up to be just as good of a man as Sam.

This was right, this felt right. So when I left, I did so feeling good. I kissed them all and thanked Sam and Emma, before giving Teresa and Jeremiah, one last parting look.

As I turned my back, Emma's voice called for me to stop. I spun round to see her coming up to me.

"Thank you so much Loulabelle, you have no idea what this means to Sam and I." She cried.

"I think I do. Take care of them and I will hopefully see you soon."

"Our door will always be open to you." She said as she kissed me on my forehead.

I watched as she walked back over to Sam and my brother and sister. I knew that they all had their work cut out with each other, but I knew that once they got it right, it will stay right.

.

.

I headed back to town, in a strange mood, but wasn't quite sure what it was about. I soon found Rachel and explained everything to her. She assured me I had done the right thing.

After a late lunch she decided it was time to go dress shopping. Apparently she had seen a dress shop that would have everything we needed.

So that is where I am now. Standing in front of a full length mirror, with the most exquisite dress I have ever seen.

It was a deep purple, with that cut down in a V at the front, the sleeves were long and flowing, both the sleeves and the v neck had detailed ruffling. There was a ribbon that wrapped around my waist, just under my bust. The skirt was full, and although I was wearing a shit load of fabric, I felt naked.

"Louise you look beautiful,"

"I feel naked,"

"Oh Louise, you look amazing."

"Where would I wear this? I mean it feels so fancy, it's not like I can wear it doing chores,"

"You only feel that way because you're not use to wearing dresses all the time. You wear that anytime you like. And that blue one, and the brown one, but I also think you need some skirts and blouses, don't you?"

"All the young ladies are wearing dresses like this in New York. Your friend is right it was made for you." The dress lady told me as she pottered around her store.

"Rachel I cannot afford all of that. This dress alone will leave me short for the month,"

"Who cares, what else were you going to spend it on? You deserve it now come on, try on some skirts."

We spent the whole afternoon in that damn dress shop and by the time we were finish I didn't have a coin on me.

As we stepped out of the shop we heard our names being called out, Rachel and I turned to see Cody making his way over to us.

"Hello ladies," he smirked, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Cody, what are you so happy about? And aren't you due tomorrow?" I asked, hoping I won't regret it.

"Oh nothing, just glad to see you is all, and yes I was due tomorrow, but I'm just that quick it didn't take me that long." He skited,

"You're lying," I told him,

"I don't believe it," I heard Rachel say. I looked in the same direction she was and I saw Kid, Jimmy and Jesse on the other side of the street.

"What are they doing here?" I asked.

"It's hard to say Lou, but if it was my guess I would say they are here for you. And I don't think you quite get it yet," He laughed. I was glad he saw the funny side of this, and confused by what he meant with that last comment.

"Right, well you can let them know we will be making our way back tomorrow, so they rode all this way for nothing." I snapped as I turned and headed back for the Hotel.

"Louise, wait don't you think you are being a little hard on them?" Rachel called out over Cody's laughing.

"No Rachel I don't. I need to do things like this for me, to get my confidence up, how can I do that when my protectors follow me around all the time?"

"I don't know honey, but I think it's kinda nice. And anyway when you wear that dress, you will need protecting," She smirked.

"I knew I shouldn't have listened to you." I shook my head and continued to the Hotel, juggling the dress boxes in my arms. Walking into the lobby I heard the unmistakable laugh of Teaspoon.

'It couldn't be,' I thought to myself. I peered round the corner of the lobby, to see none other than Teaspoon, Ike, Buck and Noah waiting in the lounge room.

"Who the hell is watching the station, if all ya'll are here?" I asked to the surprised faces of my family.

"Lou honey, fancy seeing you here," Teaspoon happily said.

"You reckon?"

"Now come on Lou don't be like that, we were meant to have a family outing a few weeks back, this way we can have a night here and ride with you and Rachel on your way back."

I could see he was proud of himself, while Buck and Noah had the decency to hide their faces. Ike looked as pleased as Teaspoon, as he stared at me with a huge grin.

"Suit your selves I'm going to have a bath," I said as I went to walk up stairs,

"Ah Louise, we will be seeing you and Rachel in the lobby in two hours, I'm taking us all out for supper." Teaspoon announced proudly.

I rolled my eyes and asked the Hotel man to draw me a bath. I couldn't wait for a nice long soak, especially now.

I eased my down and into the hot tub of water. The aroma of roses hung in the air, as I went a little over board with the bubbles.

I laid my head back and closed my eyes enjoying this luxury before seeing the boys tonight.

I must have drifted off as I awoke to Rachel trying to wet my hair.

"Let me wash your hair for you," I didn't complain as it felt nice to have it done. "It has grown so much. I bet you can't wait to have it long again." I smiled at her statement. It would be nice to have it back.

"Did you hear we're going out for supper?"

"I did, now aint you glad I made you buy that dress?"

"I can't wear that,"

"Of course you can, don't be silly. I on the other hand am going to wear my green one I bought."

I got out of the bath tub feeling relaxed, and clean. I could smell the rose scent on my skin, and I loved it.

"What are going to do with your hair?" Rachel asked coming into the room with her hair all twisted up. "I think I will wear mine out, let the curls loose."

My hair just reached the tops of my shoulders, so there wasn't a lot I could do with it. Rachel had other ideas though. She called it a French roll, and it looked good. It was pulled back off my face apart from my fringe, which she swept to the side.

I loved that I could see my earrings. I never get a chance to wear jewellery so now that I can, I can show them off.

I slipped in the dress and pulled it up my body. I loved the way it felt on my skin, and the smell of the new fabric. The purple is so deep; it is the prettiest colour that I had laid my eyes on.

I still wasn't sure if it wasn't over the top, but as I look at Rachel I see her dress is just as glamorous.

"Louise you are beautiful," I looked into the long mirror admiring my dress, my hair and my earrings, I do feel beautiful. I felt myself smile as I swayed in front of the mirror.

"Yeah, well there's nowhere to put my gun in this thing." I grimaced, while Rachel only laughed.

"We better get moving, just in case Teaspoon retracts his offer to shout supper." Rachel laughed.

With one last look in the mirror, I followed Rachel out the door, and down the stairs. I could hear the boys chatting among themselves, but that soon stopped as Rachel came into view.

Teaspoon cleared his throat before saying, "I take it you have been dress shopping, you look beautiful, Miss Rachel,"

"Why thank you Mr Spoon," she laughed stealing Emma's name for Teaspoon.

I took a deep breath in before walking the rest of the way down the stairs. I was too busy watching my step that I didn't see the boy's faces when they first saw me, but when I looked up they all stood stock still mouths agape.

"Do I look silly? I should change," I turned to walk back up the stairs, feeling foolish.

"Don't you dare," Rachel said, "You look beautiful,"

"She's right you do," Jimmy said as he came over to me, holding his arm out for me to hold onto.

"Thank you," I blushed as I took his arm.

"Truly beautiful," Teaspoon agreed as he kissed my cheek.

"Right boys let's take these lovely ladies to supper."

I walked with Jimmy, seeing him looking down at me as we walked.

"What?" I asked,

"Just admiring the view,"

"Funny." I nudged him in the side with my elbow, "I have missed you," I whispered quietly as I leant into him. His smile reached his eyes as I looked up at him.

"I missed you too," he whispered down at me, but as I turned around I saw Buck and Ike giving us the knowing eye.

I could feel myself blush, but I didn't care. For the first time in a long time I felt happy.