Geeky Attraction
Author's note/Jeez, I think I have to answer some of the reviews you guys posted. Some of you think the story is really confusing, though you didn't really say what was exactly, but I'm guessing it might have been the points of view. But other than indicating who's point of view it is with bolted letters and the name I'm not sure what I can do different.
Other than that: Some of you mentioned that Natsume has gone soft. I'm not sure if I agree here, I bet all of you read the manga and there it's quite clear that Natsume is in fact a big softie? Or well, I don't wanna call it being soft, because I don't think that is what it's called exactly but he is not someone who doesn't care, is actually very honest and has no trouble saying what's on his mind when he's alone with Mikan. But this doesn't mean that Natsume doesn't regret spilling the beans in my story – don't you worry, he's still an emotionally stunted meanie and he doesn't care about anyone outside of his little world (but somehow Mikan has become part of it. A small part)
→ ANYWAYS, thanks a lot to the people who took the time to post a review! As always, it makes me really, REALLY happy and encourage me to update a lot sooner :-)
Summary/As arch enemies, and on different sides of the social ranking, you'd think Mikan and Natsume would stay that way until graduating and then forget each other's guts for good. But when they ripped the last straw, the teachers now wants to reunite their two most "problematic" students in a dangerous game of their own prejudice and pride. Can they succeed in their task or will the result be making things worse than ever?
Rating/+T
Genre/Mainly love and drama, with hints of comedy, teenage themes such as hormones, denial, hatred and feelings that might possibly be love.
Words/4275
11: THE MYSTERY OF NATSUME HYUUGA
-x-
Natsume
"Get the hell out of the way," I sneered, not caring that the girl I'd collided with had lost her balance and fallen to the floor. After all, the clash had been quite deliberate on my part. The girl on the floor was Sakura's friend and if Sakura hadn't been walking right beside her, I wouldn't have bothered to push her in the first place.
"Hey!" Mikan Sakura gave me a disapproving look and I glared back, trying to get the message across: I don't give a shit. It's starting to work, I think. Mikan Sakura's look of understanding and, god forbid, pity had changed as almost a week since the incident in the library had passed. But believe me when I say it had been hard work. I'd had to purposely act like a complete asshole every time she was near to make her see that the "moment" we'd shared in the library had been nothing more than a mistake.
Now she's back to hating my guts and I was supposed to be back to not caring. Except I'm not. So this was shit. Complete and utter bullshit.
"Na-tsu-me," Luna breathed in my ear. I really hated it when she did that. Normally I'd have made sure she wouldn't do anything like that ever again. But now, I had bigger issues to deal with than Luna and her intruding on my personal space so I just pushed her slightly out of the way.
She pouted. "What's wrong?"
Everything was wrong. I'd been reminded of an unpleasant past, had a heart-to-heart talk with Mikan Sakura and, upon realizing the seriousness of the situation, I had abandoned all thoughts of keeping posture and had ran out the door. Yes, I ran. Not strolled, or walked or even hurried (with firm, determined steps) but ran. Like a fucking pussy.
"Nothing," I snapped, pretending to read the paper.
"You can tell me, you know," she whispered, moving closer. I was very close to pushing her off of me when I felt her breasts pressing lightly against my arm.
Oh, well. It had been a while since I had gotten laid and Luna was a very willing subject to indulge in such matters with. I leaned down to snog her, determined to think of something else than my current worries. There was really no reason for me to think about it. So what if I'd been carried away in the library with a person with whom I absolutely shouldn't have. So what if I'd had a momentarily slip. A lapse in judgement. A mental breakdown.
But I wasn't some goddamn pussy and I had to make sure Mikan Sakura knew that she would never see me like that again. Ever.
… Running was something guys like Gayden did.
"Natsume, what's the matter?" Luna broke off the kiss to look at me weirdly.
As I said, it was all complete bull.
–
"So how'd that study date with the principal's daughter go?" Koko asked Ruka with an innocent smile, to which he merely groaned loudly and smacked his head against the table.
"That bad, eh?" Koko grinned despite his pitying tone. "Seducing women is like music. You need to know the instrument to play it well."
"I'm just gonna ignore that comment," Ruka sighed lifting his head to look at me. "Nat," he began, "I'm considering becoming a monk. Seriously."
"Well, that's certainly not the way to play it," Koko snorted.
I smacked Koko's head before he could spout anymore crap. "Fuck," he cursed. "Fine! Be a virgin forever and see if I care. If the two of you ever get around to dropping the miserable sucker act, you can join me and Mochu at the pub where we'll be having a blast celebrating life." He got up and stalked towards the door muttering something about "wankers" and "zero understanding of music" as he slammed it after him.
"So," I said as I pulled out a chair and sat down, "there's a girl messing with your head."
"Not so much messing," Ruka finally mumbled, "She doesn't even mean to. That's what's so bloody wrong with the picture! She clearly doesn't think of me like that." He's looking downright miserable and I pondered whether or not this is the situation where I borrow Koko's 'sad old bastard' music and play it to him – but I decide against it.
"She agreed to study with you, thought, right?" I said instead. "Usually, that means they doesn't think of you as a complete wanker."
He nodded slowly, considering my words.
I smirked at his thoughtful face and leaned back. "You've got taste, I'll give you that. She's hot."
Ruka looked at me quickly, a mixture of different emotions battling for dominance in his face. "Yeah, she's pretty. But I don't wanna just shag her, you know? I want to... talk to her."
Honestly, I don't know. In all my life there had never been a girl apart from my family with whom I'd wanted to have an actual conversation. There had been girls I had wanted to snog until their eyes glazed over and their lips were blood red. There had been girls where I had wanted to run my hands up and down their naked bodies and girls I had wanted to shag. But girls I would want to actually talk to? Tell stuff to and listen to what they had to say in return? Never.
"So talk to her." I failed to see the reason why Ruka was making such a big deal out of this.
"But she makes me nervous as hell!" he exclaimed, "I like her, Nat. I don't want to fuck things up."
Oh. "Well, then just... don't," I finished lamely. My best friend getting hung up on some girl and wanting to talk to her was an entirely new subject and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be saying in a situation such as this.
What worried me was that Ruka seemed to think that having actual conversations with a girl equalled liking her. It really didn't.
The only girl I'd ever told anything remotely personal about myself to was, for some unfathomable reason and mostly Naru's fault, Mikan Sakura. That reminded me why I had been so stressed out all week and made me feel like shit all over again.
"Let's go the the pub and celebrate, Ruka," I decided, interrupting his sulking look.
"Why, what's there to celebrate?" he muttered.
"Soccer victory?" I offered to which he scoffed. "We'll drink your sorrows away then. You coming?"
He groaned but got up and followed me out anyway.
–
Much, much later that night I am slightly pissed and on my way back to the dorm. Alcohol had helped me forget all kinds of shit but Ruka had gotten way too much to drink and I had been worried when he started calling me "Imai" and tried to embrace me. Naturally I had gotten out of there, leaving Ruka to Mochu. I was sobering up anyway and wanted some time alone to think.
The night was clear and not too cold as I slowly made my way through the empty streets. The lamps were on even though it wasn't all that dark, I could see perfectly fine. Just as the academy was in sight, and I step onto the road, there is something moving fast that I only see from the corner of my eye.
From then, everything happened fast. I felt, more than saw the car coming closer, then someone was pulling me back. Away from a much too sudden dead. A subtle flowery scent hit my nose. Soft hair tickling my face. The adrenalin was made my heart beat rapidly against my chest and then I turned around and met the worried eyes of Mikan Sakura. She was standing there in sweatshirt and slacks, a newly bought chocolate bar dropped on the ground. Her grip around my arm was strong, actually, I hadn't believed Mikan Sakura to have such a strong grip at all. She just stood there, holding my arm in such a bloody strong grip, like she was afraid I'd get run over by another car if she let me go.
I quickly let my emotions slide behind a mask of indifference, as I had done so many times before. And then I realized she had just saved my bloody life. Or maybe I wouldn't exactly die by getting run over by a car- but I'd certainly end up in a hospital. No, Sakura had saved me. And I couldn't help but wonder why.
We were natural enemies, as different as two people could get. Our relationship was built entirely on our hatred for each other. For as long as I could remember, I had used any given opportunity to hurt her, humiliate and break her in any way possible. I knew she'd had mutual feelings. What was different now? Just because we'd had a little heart-to-heart, she didn't seriously think we were friends now, did she? I'd done anything to make her forget it! Wasn't this the perfect opportunity for Sakura to get the revenge I knew she longed for? She could have let me get run over but she didn't. And what was with this worry I could see in her eyes? I faintly wondered if I would have saved her if the situation was turned around, and she was me- stepping out in front of that car.
"Have you gone completely bonkers?" her shaken voice broke the silence and my thoughts were interrupted. Something of which I was quite glad- to my own utter horror I had felt a stirring emotion inside me, when I thought of Sakura being run over instead of me- Freaking guilt. God, I was losing it.
"'Bonkers' Sakura?" I asked and was quite happy that my voice sounded much more calm than my beating heart. That's how I should always be in any situation. Calm and collected. Not showing any embarrassing feelings, that's what could really betray you. "How so? Last time I checked you were the only mad person around."
She quickly let go of my arm as if she was burned by our mere touch. "Why are you like that?" she asked, the worry in her eyes quickly changing into anger. "Don't you realize you could've been killed if I hadn't been here?"
"Then what do you want? Do you want me to be thankful? I didn't ask for you to do that. Do you want me to cry? I'm not that kind of person, Sakura. Or maybe you want me to make it up to you? Am I in your debt now, is that it?"
The slap came out of the blue. She'd tried slapping me before, but I had always managed to stop her. This time I'd been so occupied with keeping my voice from shaking, getting more and more angry with myself for letting her save me, letting myself be indebted to her, of all people.
My cheek burned, and I was vaguely sure that it'd leave a mark afterwards. Sakura was breathing heavily and she looked tearful. But I noticed something in her eyes I had never seen before. It wasn't hate, anger, or sadness. She looked very tired. As if I was someone who sucked the energy out of her, stole her happiness away or something. "Contrary to what you believe, Natsume, not everyone is out to get you all the time. It won't hurt you to be more honest," she whispered. I stared at her, dumbfounded when she walked away, her chocolate bar forgotten on the ground.
I didn't even like flowers.
Mikan
This might be the most angry I had ever been with anyone in my entire life. I ran into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. My heart was beating loudly in my chest and my hands were still shaking slightly. I let out a small scream of frustration not wanting to wake everyone up but still not being able to hold it in.
How could anyone be so indifferent when they had been that close to a life threatening situation? How could he be two seconds away from getting run over and still act like he didn't care? I mean, I was shaking all over and I hadn't even been the one in danger!
I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out the mystery of Natsume Hyuuga. On the one hand, he was the most arrogant and superstitious person you'd ever meet, he was cold and cruel and everything he said was hurtful. On the other hand, there seemed to be more to him, sometimes I thought he seemed almost human. Like in the session with professor Narumi where he had told me stuff about himself, or last week in the library where he confessed to me that my opinion mattered. Just when I was about to slightly change my mind about him, he then goes on acting like the world's biggest wanker. At the same time he somehow still managed to be beautiful. Because he is, you know, beautiful. It confused me how someone who appeared so flawless could be so flawed inside.
It was complicated and I didn't like complicated. I had always been a simple girl and I liked the people around me to be simple too. I have never been good at solving puzzles and I wasn't about to begin now.
Anyway, I hated thinking of something I didn't understand and was quick to decide not to. I fell asleep and dreamt of chocolate (I'd forgotten the chocolate bar I'd had to buy so late at night because I had been having cravings) and only woke when someone kicked my bed the next morning.
I groaned, "stop it."
"Mikan." A whispered voice. Slightly panicked.
I raised my head. "Horaru?" I was astonished. Never had I seen Hotaru look as frantic as she did at that moment. "What is it?" I asked completely awake.
"You have to hide me," she said in a voice that told me she couldn't believe she was asking this either.
"Why?"
"Will you just-"
She was cut off by a loud voice calling her name from outside my room. "Imai, where are yooouuu?"
Hotaru froze. I yawned. "What're you doing, playing hide and seek?"
She stood less graceful than I'd ever seen her and looked around. She must have caught sight of my curtains – the long, pink ones – because she jumped, nearly throwing herself behind them. Just in time as well, a split-second later Ruka Nogi opened the door with a big smile plastered on his face. "Imai!"
He spotted me and the smile left his face. I looked at him, slightly disoriented. "Have you seen her?" he asked me. "You must have. She's so beautiful after all."
I stared at him in something akin to awe.
"She keeps running from me, the little minx. But I'll get her, only a matter of time," he said proudly.
"Uh..." My eyes strayed towards the curtain but I managed to catch sight of Hotaru's hand movement across the neck. Betray my position and you're dead. "No," I shook my head. "I haven't seen her."
Rarely have I seen anyone look so dejected. "She hates me," Ruka nearly sobbed.
I blinked. "I'm sure that she doesn't... hate you. I'm sure-"
"I feel funny," Ruka interrupted me with a surprised look as he staggered a little. "IMAAAIIIII!" He called, turned around proceeding to open the door. He fumbled two times before succeeding with a "HA!" and then ran out.
I tried to close my mouth but found it impossible. "What was that?" I wondered aloud.
"It seems," began Hotaru as she emerged from behind the curtains, "that Nogi had too much too drink last night. Apparently these are the effects of his hangover," she finished sourly.
Impulses are a bitch. You can't help them. So obviously, I laughed.
When we stood in front of the dining hall ten minutes later, I wasn't laughing anymore. Hotaru smacking me on the head had been a strong antidote for that. Besides, I also felt kind of sorry for Ruka. This behaviour really, really didn't do anything to improve Hotaru's impression of him.
I touched my head carefully, feeling the beginning of a bump where Hotaru hit me. "It really hurts, Hotaruu!" I complained, shooting her a sulking look.
She wasn't paying attention as she kept looking into the hall with frenzied eyes. "He's not there, Hotaru, for God's sake! Stop acting like you're the guard in Silence of the Lamb and he's Hannibal Lector, craving you for dinner!"
"Who's Hannibal Lector?" an amused voice asked and both Hotaru and I jumped slightly. As I turned around I met Natsume's eyes. We looked at each other briefly before he turned his head away, suddenly looking uncomfortable. God, the boy is PMS, I tell you.
"No one," I mumbled to his friend, the one who had spoken. He had sandy coloured hair and seemed to be a tricky fellow. But he looked like a person who smiled a lot and that was pleasing. "Just your friend, Ruka."
"Oh, we were just looking for him, weren't we, Nat?"
Whatever Natsume was doing, he wasn't focused on the conversation and therefore didn't answer. The sandy coloured guy shrugged his shoulders and grinned at us. "Sorry, he's been like that all day."
I furrowed my brows and wanted to say something, what I'm not sure, just something but I didn't get the change as Natsume finally looked up, "Let's go, Koko," he mumbled avoiding my eyes. The sandy coloured guy named Koko winked at us and followed Natsume into the dining hall.
"What is wrong with Hyuuga?" Hotaru asked when she had calmed down after making sure that Ruka truly was nowhere to be seen.
I swallowed the sausage I had just picked up from a table and put in my mouth. "I don't really know. I don't get it either." We sat down at our usual seats at a table in the corner of the hall. I quickly began filling a plate.
She looked at me earnestly. "Is something going on between the two of you?"
I choked. "N-no, nothing's going on!" I tried to hold her gaze but more so than coming off as the truthful and calm person I'd hoped for I ended up staring at her with slightly psychotic eyes. As I've mentioned before, lying was never a skill in my repertoire.
Like I had expected, Hotaru only looked more stern. "Mikan, at risks of sounding like Nonoko – if you are sleeping with Hyuuga-"
"IF I- WHAT?"
"-you should rethink that decision," she finished calmly.
"What is wrong with you?" I hissed trying to lower my voice, "there is nothing of that sort going on – absolutely NOTHING. The only physical contact I wish having with that guy is when I imagine myself strangling him!"
Hotaru looked at me with suspicious eyes. "That does not explain the sexual tension between the two of you," she stated and had me choking on a mouthful of sausage and eggs that ended up landing back on the plate.
"Ew, gross," Hayden greeted me and sat down with Nonoko in tow.
I didn't give any hint of recognition, too upset with the current conversation, "Hotaru, you are deluded. Have you been brain damaged by Ruka? Because, honestly, you sound just as crazy as he does!" Normally, I wouldn't ever attempt to insult Hotaru in any way but I was feeling tired, confused and angry with the whole situation with Natsume and Hotaru's assumptions weren't exactly making me feel better.
"I am going to ignore that comment, Mikan," Hotaru said after seconds of icy cold silence. "Because I can tell that you are genuinely upset." With those words she got up not looking at me once.
"Where are you going?" Nonoko asked carefully.
"The dorms, I imagine. To finish a report." I knew she was only going there to hide from Ruka and though I felt bad for snapping at Hotaru, right then I couldn't deal with her and her detective-ways. She could find someone else to play interrogator with, preferably someone in actual need of psychological counselling. Ruka would be an obvious subject and a willing one too.
As Hotaru left the hall, Nonoko and Hayden both looked at me in question but I merely shrugged my shoulders in return. They let it go and Nonoko began taking about her project in science class as Hayden groaned in despair (no one but Nonoko and Hotaru thought science was actually an interesting class). I toned them out and tried to concentrate on the food on my plate. To be honest, it wasn't just Hotaru's comment. I was tired of people mentioning Natsume Hyuuga to me all the time. I was tired of thinking about him, of his PMS-ing ways, how his awkwardness made me awkward as well, how everything just bounded up being this total cockfuck of different, negative emotions between us.
I felt a really bad day approaching, sighing deeply at the recollection that maths with Professor Jinno was my first double class followed closely by science. If I was still alive and kicking after that, I had to attend the obligatory study class with professor Narumi. Don't get me wrong, he was my favourite teacher and his classes were usually a blast. With today's short temper, though, I wasn't really one to give any guarantees.
–
THE STUDY HALL
Since Nonoko was in the middle of some scientific project she mentioned, Hotaru was still hiding from Ruka and Hayden had decidedly joined her, I sat alone in the study hall that afternoon. Unfortunately, when the bell rang and the rest of the class poured in, Ruka bounded up to me and threw his arms frantically around my neck, following it up with a loud, "IMAI!"
I gasped noisily and thrashed about in his iron grip, panting and wheezing for air. It just wasn't my day today was it? People were already staring at us, I perceived blurredly as I was tugged round, also I caught whispers of, "are they going out?" Or, "Is Nogi off his rocker?" Luckily, some heavenly, benevolent force yanked Ruka off me and threw him into the seat next to me, where he sat for moments looking utterly foolish with his gaping mouth. I quickly rearranged my clothes, patted down my hair, and motioned to thank my saviour when I realized whom it was.
Natsume looked down at me, one hand holding Ruka in a firm grip, the other buried deep in his pockets. He opened his mouth to say something, but thinking better of it, clamped it shut again and swiftly turned and sat on my other side, eyes faced forward waiting for Professor Narumi to arrive. I bit my lip, hating his dismissal.
"Nat."
"Yes Ruka," said Natsume uninterestedly.
"Give this to Imai," Ruka reached over me and attempted kissing his best friend on the cheek. Natsume, completely unfazed by Ruka's advances stretched his hand out and shoved him effortlessly in the chair.
"But NATTY!" Ruka yelled.
I laid my head in my arms and prayed that effect of Ruka's hangover would just go a-freaking-way…
"Professor Narumi shall not be supervising Study Hall today," Jin-Jin's ruddy face appeared as I lifted my head just slightly. Once perceiving it, I slammed my face on the table, a loud thump sounding through a silent class. I regretted it immediately.
"Why is it that wherever I go Sakura, you are causing mischief?" Jin-Jin said sardonically.
Ruka sniggered densely and stuck his face in my ear, "Imai," he whispered quite loudly, "He called you Missssssss Saaaakuraaaa."
I kicked Ruka's shin viciously under the desk, still looking emotionlessly at professor Jin-Jin.
"YOWOW!" Nogi yowled shrilly.
"Mr. Nogi, pray what is your problem?" said Jin-Jin.
"He's smashed, sir," Natsume interjected hastily, fearing the condemnation of his best friend, "Last night soccer celebrations and all. Surely you would understand."
Jinno flashed Hyuuga a ruddy smile and nodded his head, "Boys will be boys."
"Boys will be arseholes," I just couldn't resist, and it was my downfall.
"I will be inspecting your work before you leave and you can owe it to Miss Sakura for her foul language."
"Mother-" I said, lifting my head up.
"Would you like to go for another detention?" Natsume whispered softly in my ear. I quietened immediately. The gentle ambiance, the warning tones conveyed in his words that was directed at me for the first time that day made my stomach flip, my chest clench tightly, effectively making my face heat up.
I must have had a fever, I think. Something was definitely wrong with me when Natsume that close, his breath on my ear didn't disgust me but instead made my heart race.
A/N: Someone suggested that I change the ratings for this story to M, mostly because of the language, I guess – do you all agree?
I don't think the language is all that bad, but then again – I'm from Europe! We don't have censorship :-D
Post a review – remember your comments are what keep me writing (NOT when you add the story as your favourite and don't review, rather I hate that!) :-D:-D