Note: Sorry for not updating in a while. The internet died, fleas infested my house, and Thanksgiving sucked to say the least. Oh, and that supposedly relaxing weekend I was supposed to have for Thanksgiving? That was consumed by projects about stupid diseases. Yuck. So, to make up for nnot updating in a while, I'll update a new chapter tomorrow.
Buttercup and the gang belong to Suzanne Collins and all that whatnot.
Chapter 11
Dear Diary,
I had a pretty wonderful day today. I slept for 17 hours, ate a couple mice, played with yarn, watched some soap operas on TV. The usual.
I made a discovery. The plush, leather sofa near the TV is super bouncy. I swear I spent a couple hours bouncing on my butt on that thing. It was like a trampoline! Except sofa version, of course.
Blondie came over again to make Katniss lunch. He's such a pushover. He does whatever Katniss wants him too. He's kind of annoying. In a good way.
I decided to give Lady another chance. Despite the differences, Lady and I have become the bestest best buddies in the whole entire world. We even resolved some issues between us. Remember how Lady was having an identity crisis? Well, we reached a compromise. Lady thinks she is a goat, while I absolutely am positive that she is a cow. I know, Diary. She's so silly to think she is a goat. But what can I do? Cows just aren't known to have lots of stuff up in the noggin. Lady is not a goat. And she is not a cow. She is now officially a cow-goat. Lady wanted to be called a goatow, but goatow sounds utterly ridiculous.
Lady is actually a pretty good friend. She listens to everything I have to say. She listens to my complaints about Katniss. She listens to my whining about how there are still no laws banning water. She even listens intently to my stupid adventures! Although she does make an odd snoring sound when I am talking. One day I might need to ask her to stuff a yarn ball down her throat.
By the way, I found that fat mouse I almost killed the other day. He was hiding in a little grass clump near a tree behind the bakery. Blondie was feeding him a bit of bread. When Blondie left to get more bread to feed this cute, squishy mouse, I killed him. The mouse was in my tummy by the fifth second. Ha. When Blondie came back and saw leftover mouse guts, his eyes widened, and I think he had a day nightmare. His look was priceless. Blondie- 0. Buttercup- 5 million and one (the five million is the amount of his cheese buns I ate when he wasn't looking).
I don't feel like nonexistently writing in this nonexistent diary anymore, so I'm going to go take a nap.
Toodles,
Buttercup,
The smartest cat in the entire history of smart cats