Author's note: I'm SO incredibly sorry it took me this long to update! It's been over six months and I feel really bad about it, but I just lost all motivation for fic writing. I promise I'll try to update more frequently from now on as I definitely intend to finish this up eventually! I'm a little rusty at the moment, so I apologise for this chapter, but after the season finale I decided it was time to bring this fic back from the dead. Reviews and such make me want to keep writing, so any thoughts on this chapter would be great!
It'd only been a couple of days since the scan, but Jeff was already starting to feel like he'd lost her forever.
There were times when he just wanted to cry (but he never did), or go out and get drunk again...but wasn't that what caused all of this in the first place? He hated himself for sleeping with whatever-her-name-was, and if he could go back and undo it he would have - and that almost scared him more than this whole pregancy thing.
Jeff Winger never regretted sleeping with women, Annie Edison aside, but that was because she was nineteen years old. Regretting sleeping with a regular woman he'd met in a bar was an entirely new concept to him, and he couldn't help but marveling at it every time he so much as thought about it.
But he did.
He wished he could take it back, and it wasn't just the telling Annie part he regretted. He regretted doing it in the first place, regretted going to the bar at all. The notion if flirting with other women filled him with guilt and he just couldn't understand why.
The idea of being a father still absolutely terrified him, but he was coming around to the idea. He tried his hardest to remain blase about the entire thing, but these thoughts crossed his mind more often than not. Which one of them would the baby look more like? Would he or she take after him in any way? Would they have Annie's drive and intelligence? His charm and awesomeness?
As much as he tried not to appear interested, he knew he was slowly growing more protective of Annie - he'd always had that streak about him, but now he knew there was an actual baby that was his growing inside of her, it was hard to just stand back and not look out for her...but that'd be a thousand times easier if she'd actually talk to him.
She was torn. There were moments in which Jeff seemed genuinely interested in helping her out, and she wanted to cling onto those times and refuse to let go. After blowing him off time and time again, she often found herself crying softly by herself, but what else could she do?
Maybe it was just jealousy, but Annie didn't see it that way. His drunken confession had been laced with so many feelings, she'd convinced herself for a second that they actually had a chance. She'd never let him finish whatever he was trying to say, but hadn't it sounded like he was going to tell her he was in love with her?
Maybe she was just reading too much into things. She was good at that, wasn't she?
Every time her brain tried to convince her that maybe, just maybe, he'd been building up to 'I'm in love with you' she quickly dispelled those thoughts and tried to think about something different entirely. Just because she was having his child didn't mean she needed to spend all of her time thinking about stupid Jeff Winger.
Every day seemed like much of the same now she'd gotten into a pattern of ignore Jeff and surviving in her own little world: she'd go to her classes, head to the study room until she knew he'd be coming along, come back to the apartment and study on the couch until around half an hour before he was due home then disappear into the bedroom for the evening and alternate between studying and reading baby books.
It was easy to have meals without him, easy to study without him, easy to get by in general really. Of course she couldn't avoid him entirely when they shared friends, a study group, an apartment and several classes, but she was trying her damn hardest.
He was tired of it.
If anyone was qualified to teach a class in 'Ignoring Jeff Winger 101' it was definitely Annie Edison.
He'd gotten off the hook once by making the baby's nursery, but was there a possibility for a second time? What could he even do this time around?
Occasionally he wondered what would happen if he simply stormed up to her and demanded that she be around him more so he could actually help her. He could Winger speech her; make up some crap about co-parenting and how unfair all of this was on him...but would he mean any of it?
Time and time again, he considered asking one of the study group members for help, but who would actually give him an idea worth a damn? Abed would only be able to offer up things he'd seen in TV and movies and that wouldn't be very original, Shirley would probably start dropping hints about him proposing to her so their child wouldn't be born out of wedlock, Troy wouldn't have much to say at all, Britta would probably lecture him about leaving Annie to do her own thing because she was 'an empowered woman' and Pierce? Well, he didn't even want to think about what Pierce would do.
He was stumped.
It happened very out of the blue.
Annie was out (staying late at Greendale to study, he assumed) which left him in by himself for at least an hour...it wasn't something he was used to anymore, and even if she'd been avoiding him for a week or so now, he'd gotten used to hovering about, hoping she'd say something and they could start to fix their friendship.
He took his scotch out of the cabinet, poured a glass and stared into it for a few seconds.
He'd had a glass of scotch the first night Annie had moved in, the smell had made her nauseous and he'd ended up glumly attempting to pour it back into the bottle without wasting any.
God, he was an idiot.
Annie Edison was the only girl he would do any of this for, and that alone should have spoken volumes to him. So, why was he such an idiot?
He couldn't just outright tell her he had feelings for her because of the age gap. That was the only thing holding him back; that stupid, tiny triviality.
He was a fucking idiot.
Leaving the scotch where it was on the counter, the former lawyer moved away from the kitchenette, his gaze drawn straight to the nursery room's door. He hadn't even been inside the room since he finished it up, but now he was by himself...well, apparently, he needed a moment.
It was overwhelming. Seeing the crib he'd struggled to put together, the teddies the group had brought on the dresser, the changing table, every damn little thing...god, this was all so real.
He didn't even realise he was choking back a sob until he felt a hand rest gently on his arm.
It was impossible to concentrate.
Her notes were neatly highlighted and just as detailed as they always were, but for once nothing was going in - her mind kept travelling back to Jeff, and she hated herself for it.
After an hour of trying and failing, heading home seemed like the only option; he probably knew by now that bothering her was pointless, she wouldn't have to deal with him there either. It'd be fine.
The first sign that something was wrong was the silence that met her as she entered the apartment. Despite hoping to avoid him, she'd assumed he'd be sat on the couch when she walked in. But it was empty.
As she took off her shoes, Annie frowned slightly, but it only took a couple of moments for her to notice that the nursery door was open a crack, and it was pretty easy to put two and two together from there.
She should have left it. Should have gone into the bedroom, taken out her books and pretended like she hadn't noticed he wasn't there at all. She was getting good at ignoring him, and it wasn't like he'd ever know she'd noticed...but something caused her to enter the room quietly behind him, hovering for a few seconds as she tried to figure out what was happening.
The room was, for the most part, exactly as it had been last time he'd been in it. She'd bought a few bits and pieces in the weeks that had passed since, but until the gender was confirmed there wasn't a lot she could do really - so why was he suddenly in here?
The sound of a choked back sob caused Annie eyes to widen, and when she realised it had come from Jeff and not her, she was all the more surprised.
"Jeff?" The word was gentle; spoken instantly after her hand rested on his arm, and there was an obvious uncertainty about it.
"I'm-" He began, but she quickly cut him off, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so angry at you. It's not like we're dating, and you can sleep with whoever you want to. I guess I was just a little hurt because I thought you'd be more interested with the baby coming along...I was upset, but I have no right to be. I guess it's pretty clear that you do care about the baby, and you and I are just-"
Whatever they were 'just' never really became clear, because this time he didn't let her finish.
This time, he grabbed her and pulled her in, kissing her for what felt like the first time in far too long.