A/N: Thanks for your reviews!
Chapter 11- Connections
"Do you have everything you need, Katie?" Johanna asked that night as she stepped into her daughter's old bedroom.
"Yeah; I'm fine," Kate replied as she pulled back the covers on her bed. "Is my TV still hooked up? I might watch a few minutes of one of the late shows."
"Yes, it's hooked up; you should know that from staying here before."
"You might've changed something," she replied; "You know how you are, you start little projects."
Johanna shook her head. "I haven't changed much."
Kate gave a laugh. "You have a reading nook in the attic. You and Dad basically remodeled the basement, making it look like a totally different space. You have new curtains, new rugs. I could go on."
"I leave your room alone, Katie. I only come in and dust and to change the bedding. Gabby likes to stay in here when she stays with us."
"I know."
Her mother smiled. "You're okay with that, right?"
"Of course. Gabby's my cousin; I wouldn't deny her my room."
"We're glad to have you here tonight," Johanna stated. "It's been nice to spend some time with you this evening…we haven't seen you in awhile."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry; you're busy, we understand that…especially this time of year."
There it was; the elephant that Kate had felt in the room all night as she noted that there were no Christmas decorations inside or outside the house. She also hadn't missed how quickly her mother had flipped past Christmas programs after they had finished watching Temptation Lane. She wasn't sure how to have a discussion involving the upcoming holiday with her mother, all things considered but she knew she had to answer.
"Yeah…I guess you're busy too…with it being this time of year."
"No, actually I'm not," her mother replied. "I'm glad for it though. I'm looking forward to spring when I can get back outside a little and tend to my flowers."
"Spring is always a good time of year," Kate agreed, suddenly feeling awkward despite her ease at being home while they had been downstairs.
"You'll be getting married this spring," Johanna commented; "The planning will be picking up steam."
"Yeah; I guess so."
"We'll need to go look at dresses soon…really we should've already done it or at least started to. We should go in January…that is if you want me to go," Johanna said, her tone cautious, as if she had caught herself being presumptuous.
"Of course I want you to go with me," Kate replied. "We'll get it arranged after the New Year."
"We've got time."
"Yeah; we'll get it taken care of. You'll need a dress too."
"Yes; but that's an easier task."
"I guess we'll see about that," her daughter stated.
She smiled a little. "I guess we will. Are you sure I can't get you an extra blanket?"
"I'm fine."
Johanna nodded. "Before I forget, if you hear a lot of noise in the hallway, it's Scarlett. She's in the guest room right now. She found herself some new toys and I'm sure she'll be having a party with them all night…that's what she usually does when she has something new."
"What did she find to play with now?"
"A container of ornaments somehow fell and opened in the attic and the ornaments rolled down the steps. Scarlett was in her glory. I saw her carry four Christmas balls off to the guest room but when I put the stuff away, I had nine empty slots…so I guess she has another five hid somewhere."
"Five missing?" Kate repeated; thinking of the Christmas balls that had appeared in her apartment.
"Yes; but I'm not worried about it. They'll turn up eventually. Until then, Scarlett can have her fun."
Kate managed a smile; she wasn't so sure that five of those ornaments would turn up.
"You okay?" Johanna asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"You had an odd look on your face."
"I was just wondering where a cat would hide her treasurers."
"Oh she has her places, believe me. I'm sure she has a horde of toys under the bed in the guest room. I just haven't looked lately."
"She's probably glad."
"Probably so…but I wanted to let you know that she'll probably be on the prowl so you don't shoot my cat in the middle of the night…I don't know how I'd handle that in a sense of forgiving you so it's probably best avoided," Johanna remarked.
She laughed. "Don't worry, Mom; I'd always make sure it wasn't Scarlett before I pulled the trigger."
"I appreciate that," she said with a grin. "I am fond of her."
"I know," she said as she moved toward her, feeling the sudden urge to hug her mother.
Johanna smiled as her daughter wrapped her in an embrace. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart."
"You too," Kate murmured as she released her.
Johanna caught hold of her chin and gently forced her to lower her head so that she could kiss her forehead like she had done when she was little. "I love you."
"Love you," she said as her mother turned to leave the room.
Once she was alone, Kate settled into her old bed and reached for the remote on the nightstand to click on her TV; those five missing Christmas ornaments on her mind. Her mother was missing five Christmas balls…and she had five Christmas balls mysteriously turn up in her apartment and some strange lady in a green silk dress. Yeah, that wasn't creepy at all, she thought as she pulled the covers up further.
A light scratching at her bedroom door jarred Kate from her thoughts as she laid awake later that night. She threw back the covers and got up, making her way to the door and opening it. Scarlett meowed as she slipped inside the room, running toward the bed and jumping up on it. "Hey," Kate whispered; "I thought you weren't allowed on the beds."
Scarlett merely looked at her as she curled up on the foot of the bed. Kate moved back to her bed and sat down, staring back at the cat. "Well? What are you doing in here? Why aren't you across the hallway making a racket at your mommy's door? At least you think she's your mommy…really she's mine; you do know that, right? I was here first, this is my room."
The cat meowed at her but didn't move from the spot she had claimed. 'What's wrong?" Kate murmured as she stretched her hand out and petted her. "You can't sleep either? I would've thought you'd be exhausted; you've out there running and pouncing for an hour. I heard you."
Scarlett purred beneath her hand. "Oh my God, I'm talking to a cat," Kate muttered. "I must be losing my mind. Talking to cats and seeing a strange woman in green. What the hell is up with that?"
Talking to the cat wasn't so bad she figured…it was the other thing that was keeping her awake. Who was the mysterious woman in green and why did she look familiar? She was certain that she had never known the woman so what was her beef with her and how was she going to figure out who she was?
Worse; what if she was a ghost? She shook her head, she was thinking like Castle and this wasn't the time for that. Kate blew out a breath; but how was she supposed to get to the bottom of this if she didn't know who the person was or how she pulled off her little tricks? She needed to figure out who she was and how she was connected to her…and being that she was in her childhood home, she figured the photo albums would be a good place to browse for an answer.
With that thought in mind, Kate got up and headed for the door of her room, hearing the soft sound of Scarlett's tag on her collar jingling as she jumped down and followed her. They both slipped into the hallway quietly and Kate quickly made her way to the stairs, noting that her new friend seemed to be sticking with her. "You really don't have to go with me," she whispered to Scarlett as she reached the bottom of the stairs.
The cat meowed at her and stayed at her side as she moved into the living room.
"Shh," she whispered. "You'll wake everyone up if you keep meowing."
Scarlett meowed again and Kate huffed as she clicked on a dim lamp near the bookcase. "Go to bed, Scarlett," she said, pointing at the small cat bed in the corner of the room.
The cat stayed next to Kate as she sat down on the floor and carefully opened the doors at the bottom of the bookcase and pondered the photo albums stored inside. Her mysterious visitor in the old fashioned silk dress wasn't someone she recalled knowing from her childhood…and yet she had an air of familiarity in the sense that she looked like she could belong to her family. She sighed, she hated the thought that she might be looking for a photo of a dead relative…because that would mean she was buying into Castle's theory that she had a ghost problem.
She didn't want a ghost problem.
She didn't want to believe in ghosts.
She didn't have time for ghosts.
And yet she had this odd tingling slipping down her spine every time she thought of the woman in green. Who but a ghost could appear and disappear so freely and without leaving any evidence of being there in the first place…except for those brief moments when she had been caught on security tape.
Kate sighed; she so didn't need this. She didn't want to believe; had never really believed in ghosts…and yet she felt like maybe they couldn't be ruled out completely despite her best efforts at being practical. The woman's image on the security tape didn't mean that she wasn't a being from a spiritual realm...she had done a little research, just for the fact that she thought the guys had been kidding her when they said that ghost could appear as whole beings on film. Research had discovered that they had been right…alleged ghosts had been photographed and recorded…although she still didn't rule out tricks of photography. After all, that racket had been going on since the camera had been invented. Even poor widowed Mary Todd Lincoln had been conned into believing that the ghost of her beloved husband Abraham Lincoln had shown up on the photo she had taken, his hands on her shoulders. Kate shook her head, it was wrong to con someone like that; especially an aging widow who some reasoned wasn't in her right mind. But Mary Todd Lincoln wasn't her problem…unless she started showing up in her apartment too…and then she was definitely moving out.
Her problem was a troublemaker in an old fashioned green silk dress. Who was she and where did she come from? Why was she bothering her? Kate carefully picked through the albums, choosing the ones that predated her birth. She flipped through pages, looking at pictures of law firm parties her parents had attended; pictures of family gatherings, of baby photos of her older cousins. She went through even older albums; the ones that had belonged to her grandmother, documenting her mother's childhood along with her siblings. She found no one resembling the lady in question. Albums stretching clear back to her great grandmother Sophia Calabrese were searched and dismissed. Albums of her father's family were also searched and dismissed.
Finally, only one album remained; a very old book that she vaguely recognized as the photo album that had belonged to her grandfather's mother. She reached for it carefully, recalling that the album had been in the box of belongings of Sarah McKenzie that had finally made its way to her mother shortly after her return from Wyoming.
Scarlett trotted toward her, climbing onto her lap with a soft meow. "What's this all about tonight?" she whispered, petting the cat softly. "I thought you didn't like me?"
The cat rubbed her small head against her and she softened a little, her fingertips gently rubbing against the fur between her ears. "Are we calling a truce?" she whispered. "Mom will be so happy."
Scarlett made herself comfortable on her lap and Kate was careful not to bump her with the photo album as she began to look through the old photos that were carefully preserved inside. She turned page after page and then nearly dropped the thick book as her gaze collided with a photo. She fumbled to keep hold of the album, trying to be mindful of the old, worn binding and she tightened her hold on it. There, staring back at her from an aged black and white photo was the woman she had seen at the precinct and in her apartment. The mysterious woman in green…and she had a feeling that if the photo had been in color, the dress the woman was wearing would've been green. "That's her, Scarlett," Kate murmured.
The cat purred softly in response as Kate carefully slipped the photo from its slot and turned it over, reading the slightly faded ink on the back. Sarah Johanna Riley McKenzie. She closed her eyes for a moment, her mother's paternal grandmother…a woman neither she nor her mother had the fortune of knowing.
So what did the possible ghost of Sarah McKenzie want with her? She shivered a little, maybe she didn't want to know. Scarlett stirred on her lap, the air of the house turning chilly as she stared at the picture.
"You're a nosy girl, Bunny," a soft voice murmured.
Kate's head jerked up as the cat pressed closer to her body. She didn't see anyone in the room with her but goosebumps rose on her arms. "Who's there?" she hissed quietly.
A giggle sounded somewhere nearby causing Scarlett to tuck her head into the crook of Kate's arm.
"Apparently you know who I am; although I was hoping to keep you in suspense for awhile longer. But no, you had to go poking your nose into the pictures."
"What do you want with me?" she asked.
Sarah materialized on the sofa. "All in good time, Bunny. I wasn't even supposed to drop in on you here tonight but you had to be nosy."
"Don't call me Bunny."
"I'm your elder, little miss. I'll call you what I want."
"You need to go back where you came from and leave me alone! I don't even believe in ghosts!"
Sarah smiled. "And yet you're conversing with a spirit…I believe you might be contradicting yourself."
Kate shook her head. "This is just some weird dream."
"You're very awake, Bunny."
"I'm not so sure of that. Being asleep would explain why the cat suddenly wants me to hold her."
"The kitty is afraid of me, she's hoping you'll keep her safe," Sarah remarked as she rose from the sofa; "But I will prove to you that you're awake," she said as she drew near, her fingers stretching out gracefully before flicking Kate in the forehead.
"Ow!"
"See, dear; you're very awake."
"Why are you bothering me?"
"Because it pleases me to do so," Sarah remarked; "And because we have business, Bunny."
"Quit calling me that!"
"Don't raise your voice at me," Sarah said sharply. "The more you complain about it, the more I shall call you Bunny."
"Leave me alone!"
"No; I won't."
"Look, lady; I don't know what your game is and I don't want to know. Whatever it is, I do know I don't like it and I don't like you."
Sarah shrugged. "I don't rightly care what you like. I'm not all that crazy about you either. Out of all of my great grandchildren, and I have many, you are the one I'd love to give a little slap to."
"Is that right?" Kate asked tartly.
"It is," the sprit said with a nod. "I don't like the way you treat the people who love you. I don't like your attitude. Your mother is much more lenient with you than I would be. If you were mine, I assure you that either Patrick or I would've slapped that attitude right out of you, missy."
Kate glared at her. "Why don't you go haunt someone who cares?"
Sarah's eyes turned cold. "Oh, you'll care, mark my words; you will. I'm not done with you, Bunny. We'll be meeting again soon."
'I don't think so," she retorted as she shoved the picture back into its slot in the photo album and then put it back in the cabinet and closed the door.
Sarah regarded her with a raised brow. "Do you think putting the album away will make me go away? I don't leave until I'm ready."
"Then you better get ready," Kate told her. "I don't know what this is, but I'm not doing it. What kind of sick joke is this supposed to be?"
"It's no joke," the spirit said sharply. "I take my job very seriously."
"And what job would that be? Patron saint of Boo?"
Sarah's eyes narrowed and flashed with anger as she reached out and flicked Kate's forehead with a little more force that she had previously. "Keep it up, missy; and I'll be the patron saint of kicking your ass…and that's not language I like to use but you're pissing me off!"
Kate smirked at her. "Oh I'm so scared; see me tremble," she said, holding out her hand to show that it was steady.
Fury filled the being in front of her as Sarah threw up her hands, a gust of cold air rushing through the room as a crack of thunder sounded outside, so strong and loud that Kate swore it shook the house as lightening flashed outside the windows.
"Oh look," Sarah stated with a nod at the hand Kate still held out. "It's trembling now."
Kate looked at her hand, seeing that it was indeed trembling slightly and she hurriedly dropped it, cradling Scarlett closer to her as the cat meowed pitifully.
"Not so smug now, are you, darling?"
She shrugged. "So we're having a little storm; it happens. Am I supposed to believe that you caused it just because you threw your hands up in the air?"
"I suppose I shall have to do it again to prove it to you, won't I?" Sarah asked.
"No! You'll wake the whole damn neighborhood and the last thing I want is my mother walking into this."
"Oh, Bunny; I'm very well acquainted with your mother. I've been her guardian all of her life. She wouldn't fear me…you should fear me; because you're evoking my wrath and I've been told that my wrath isn't pretty."
"Neither is that dress you have on."
Sarah's eyes flashed with anger, her hands clapping together with force; spawning another loud crack of thunder, along with plunging the living room into darkness. Kate shivered and held the cat tightly, as the woman before her remained visible despite the darkness. "Your insults won't rid you of me," Sarah said quietly; "In fact, they only make me want to spend more time with you."
"Please don't," her great granddaughter replied.
The spirit smiled. "Oh, so you do have manners? I knew your mother taught you to have them but apparently you rarely use them. We're going to be seeing each other again, you can count on that; but for now, you may as well go back to bed, Bunny; and have sweet dreams. We'll talk again soon."
Sarah disappeared and the dim lamp in the living room clicked back on as Kate breathed deeply. She looked down at Scarlett who was peering up at her as she meowed softly. "I don't like it either," she whispered to her as she pushed herself up off the floor and turned the lamp off. "Let's go back upstairs where it's safe."
She kept the cat cradled tightly against her and quietly made her way back upstairs and down the hallway to her old bedroom. She stood on the threshold of the room and looked it over, checking to make sure she was alone before she stepped inside and closed the door.
Kate moved to her bed, climbing and in and plopping Scarlett down beside her. "Since we seem to be friends tonight, you're welcome to stay," she told the cat.
Scarlett meowed and curled up beside her as Kate turned onto her side to face her, her hand stroking her soft fur. There was no denying she had issues…she had been talking to a cat…she had been talking to a possible ghost. Maybe she was having some sort of breakdown. Maybe she needed to put in for a vacation after the New Year. Yeah; that was all this was, she was just tired and in need of a vacation…it would be fine…at least she hoped so. Slight burn out was way more appealing that being haunted by a ghost with an attitude problem.
"Are you feeling okay?" Jim asked as he entered the kitchen, moving to the stove to kiss Johanna's cheek as she cooked breakfast.
"Yeah; I'm fine. Why?" she asked.
"You seemed restless through the night," he answered while taking a mug down from the cupboard so he could pour himself a cup of coffee.
"Oh; I didn't really sleep well," Johanna told him.
"Bad dreams?"
"Not the nightmare kind of bad dreams…but they weren't happy dreams."
"You should've woke me," her husband told her. "I could've helped you think happy thoughts."
Johanna gave him a small smile. "If it had gotten too bad, I would've woke you."
He brushed a kiss against her lips. "Take a little nap this morning; the files you're working on can wait; we have a ways to go with that case."
"I'll be fine," she assured. "Have you seen Scarlett? She wasn't in the guest room and she wasn't in the living room. I went halfway down the steps to see if she was in the basement around her box but she wasn't there either."
"I think she managed to get in Katie's room this morning. I heard Katie telling her to get off her boots."
Johanna nodded. "As long as she's somewhere."
"Don't worry, sweetheart; we'd find her. We know she'd have to be in the house somewhere."
"That's true…but I'd still worry."
"I know; but she's fine."
"Who's fine?" Kate asked as she entered the kitchen.
"Scarlett," Jim answered; "Your mother hasn't seen her this morning."
"She's right here," Kate said, pointing to the cat who was following her into the room. "She was in my room while I got ready for work."
"She wanted to keep you company I guess," Johanna remarked as she watched her pet sit down at her dish with a meow. "I already put your food in there, Scarlett. It's not my fault you weren't here to watch me open the can as you prefer. Now eat your breakfast."
"You better do it," Kate told the cat; "You'll get grounded if you don't listen."
Scarlett turned her back on them and set about eating her breakfast.
"Well," Jim said; "I guess Scarlett bonded with her sister."
"I'm not her sister," Kate remarked.
"Yes, you are," he teased.
"If I am; that makes you her daddy," she replied.
Jim nodded. "I've been told that."
Kate shook her head. "This is a sick situation," she said as she got herself a mug so she could pour a cup of coffee. "Mom, do you want coffee?"
"Yes, please," Johanna said as she started to prepare the plates. "I think I need a cup this morning."
"I always need one," her daughter remarked.
"Did you sleep alright, Katie?" Jim asked.
"Yeah; I was fine…Scarlett seems to have a thing for my boot though; she was laying on it while I got dressed and she didn't want to get off of it."
"She does that to your mother's shoes too…when she was a kitten, she'd squeeze into one of her heels."
"Your cat is weird, Mom," Kate stated as she carried the mugs of coffee to the table.
"She is not; she's just a baby. She likes to be near us."
"With you, she's just staking her claim," her daughter remarked.
"Now, Katie," Jim said lightly; "Don't be jealous of your little sister."
"That cat is not my sister!"
Johanna laughed softly as she carried the plates to the table. "Sometimes a cat sister is better than a human one…trust me, I know."
"I'm sure you do," Kate remarked as her phone started blaring music. "Not this again," she muttered as she pulled it from her pocket.
Jim eyed the device. "Is your phone still misbehaving, Katie?"
"Yes; I think I'm going to have to get a new one and I don't really want to. I haven't had this one all that long," she replied as she fiddled with it and turned the music off. "I deleted all the music off my phone and put it back on, thinking there was some sort of glitch and it's still doing this…and playing songs I don't even have."
Johanna shared a knowing look with her husband but said nothing as she joined them at the table.
"It must be some weird glitch," Jim remarked. "Mine does that occasionally."
"Really?"
"Yeah…but eventually it goes away."
"I hope so; it's embarrassing."
"I know the feeling," Jim replied, sharing a quick look with his wife who did her best to smother a smile. "Your mother thinks maybe it's a ghost who has a thing for smartphones."
Kate rolled her eyes. "That's something Castle would say."
"Well you never know," Johanna remarked; "It could be a ghost…I've watched some of those ghost shows on TV…sometimes they like to play with things."
"How is that possible when they're transparent?" Kate asked.
Her mother shrugged. "Ours is not to question why."
Jim smiled; knowing that Johanna had just used her grandmother's signature line.
"You really believe in ghosts, Mom?"
"Yes," Johanna answered. "After all, your father did take me to a haunted hotel and things happened there."
"I can imagine," Kate said with a smirk. "Things seem to happen between the two of you wherever you go."
"She didn't mean the fun, sexy kind," Jim remarked. "Believe me, there was none of that."
She cringed a little as she shook her head at her father. "You must've been so disappointed."
"A little," he said with a nod; "But listening to her yell at me to get the ghost to quit touching her has been a long lasting memory that always inspires laughter."
Johanna glared at him playfully. "You were just as spooked as I was; don't even deny it."
"Once in awhile it got a little creepy…but I'm game to go back if you want to."
"No thanks."
"You should go there, Katie. The Balfour is still open."
"I think I'll pass; and please don't mention it to Castle. I'm not spending my honeymoon in a haunted hotel no matter how cool he might think it is."
Jim smiled. "I'll keep it to myself for now…unless you give me reason to use that information against you."
"Really? You'd do that to your daughter?"
"I might so you better toe the line," her father teased.
"I'll do my best; but if I end up in a haunted hotel for my honeymoon; I'm naming my first kid after one of Mom's ex-boyfriends just to torment you."
"That's cold," Jim replied. "We should've named you Elizabeth because you're just as cold as she could be."
"Don't worry, honey," Johanna said; "I'll name that kid myself before it gets named after an ex-boyfriend…or one of your ex-girlfriends."
Jim nodded. "Good; I'll distract her while you grab the birth certificate."
Kate shook her head. "Breakfast with the two of you is always chalk full of interesting conversations."
"We know," her father stated; "You should stop by here for breakfast more often and be a part of it."
"Maybe I will," she said; although they all knew she wouldn't…but sometimes, she wished she did spend a little more time there.
Kate felt an odd sense of unease as she sat at the table after her father had left for work. She should probably be going too…and yet she hadn't moved from the chair. She kept waiting for the inevitable mention of Christmas but her mother hadn't uttered the word once. Part of her was relieved…after all, they had made an agreement of sorts, one that stated that holidays together weren't required…but still; she thought her mother would've mentioned her plans just for the sake of them being known…or for a dash of Mom guilt as an un-returnable Christmas gift.
"Are you okay, Katie?" Johanna asked as she glanced away from the newspaper.
"Yeah; why wouldn't I be?"
"You got quiet," she replied. "And you're pushing the rest of your breakfast around on your plate."
"Oh, I was just thinking about things I have to do," Kate answered. "I'm sure work won't stay quiet for long."
"It never does, does it?"
"No…but it would be nice if we could close out the year quietly for a change."
Johanna nodded. "I know the feeling."
Kate shifted in her chair. "What are you…um…what are you and Dad going to do for Christmas?" she asked, although she hated to…but it felt like the elephant in the room.
Johanna stiffened a little, the question catching her off guard as she hadn't expected her daughter to so much as utter the word Christmas around her. "I'm hoping we'll be up at the cabin," she replied. "Your father isn't sure if he wants to go but I'm working on convincing him."
"Why doesn't he want to go?"
"I don't know; he never really gives a reason; just that he hadn't planned on us going anywhere but like I said, I'm working on convincing him."
"What if you can't?"
She met her eye. "I will."
"What makes you so sure? He might not want to go."
"I'll just threaten to go by myself again."
"Why is it such a big deal that you go to the cabin?"
"It doesn't have to be the cabin, I'm willing to go anywhere," Johanna replied; "But he didn't like the idea of vacation type trip so I'm hoping we can just go up to the cabin, preferably a few days before the holiday and stay there until after the New Year. I want to get out of here before the last minute deluge of holiday crap gets started."
"You used to like that deluge."
"Well I don't anymore," Johanna said firmly. "It's just another day to me, nothing more and nothing less."
Kate shifted in her chair once more, wishing she hadn't brought up this topic. "I noticed that you didn't decorate."
"No; I haven't…and I don't intend to…which I think I made clear after last year so it shouldn't surprise you."
"I just thought you'd at least put the tree up…that was always a big deal to you."
"I'm over it, Katie," Johanna replied as she got up from the table and carried her plate to the sink. "That part of my life is in the past. My child is grown and I'm no longer responsible for providing her with a Christmas. My parents are gone, my siblings busy with their own children and grandchildren. You have your own family, in a manner of speaking; I have no grandchildren. It's just me and my husband now and I don't see any reason for the two of us to go through all the damn nonsense when it only ends up causing trouble in the end. I just want to go away and let it pass quietly."
Kate bristled a little. "I'm not stopping you!"
"Believe me, I know you wouldn't."
Her daughter sighed a little. "I just wanted to know your plans so I'll know where you're at."
"Why?" her mother asked; after all, things weren't always great between them…and she wasn't a fool, she knew Katie had no desire to spend the holiday with her in any way.
"I don't know," she exclaimed; "I guess I just figure I should know where my parents are! I wasn't going to tell you not to go; I want you to do what makes you happy. If going to the cabin for Christmas makes you happy, then go…but Dad probably doesn't want to go because that's where he spent all of his Christmases without you."
"Well he can go there and spend one with me this time," she retorted. "I do not want to be here for Christmas."
"Then go!" Kate all but yelled.
"I am as soon as I can get your father in the car! Don't worry, I won't be anywhere near you and I won't be expecting to see you nor inviting you to do anything, I won't even call. We made an agreement and I intend to stick to it, so please don't worry. I won't be disturbing you for Christmas. I learned my lesson last year and I learned it well."
The eggs she swallowed suddenly tasted a little bitter and it stirred her temper instead of her compassion and sympathy. "You're going to stick to the no gift thing too, right?"
Johanna sighed. "Yes, Katie; I won't buy you a gift since you get so uptight about it. I'm only buying some gifts for my husband. I'll get a toy for Ally and one for Dylan and a few giftcards for Gabby. Anyone else who needs a gift will get a giftcard too. I'm not going out of my way this year."
"I'm sure your credit card companies will appreciate that."
"I don't care who does and who doesn't."
"I don't think I've ever heard you sound so sour about the holiday season," Kate commented.
"I've been sour on it for a long time," Johanna remarked.
"You weren't last year; you were all gung ho about it."
"It was a feeble attempt at reclaiming a semblance of the past and a lesson to be learned."
"And what lesson is that?"
"That the past can't be recaptured and some things have to be left there."
"And you picked Christmas?"
"Yeah; I did," Johanna replied. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?"
"No, of course not. It's not something I like to deal with either but I have to since I'm engaged now. You are going to make fudge though, right?"
"No, I'm not making any fudge," her mother remarked as she picked up her cup of coffee and took a sip.
"Why not?"
"Why should I?"
"Because you always make fudge at Christmas."
"I made it last year; you didn't come around so you didn't get any. I threw half a container full in the garbage when we got back from the cabin. It was a waste."
"But Dad loves fudge….and I might've wanted a piece if you made it this year."
"I'll give you the recipe; you can make your own. It's not that hard."
"It's easier if you make it."
"I'm not making any fudge, Katie," Johanna said firmly. "I'm not baking any Christmas cookies, I'm not making peppermint cakes, I'm not making a big holiday meal. I'm not doing it."
"Have you told Dad this?"
"Yes, I have."
"He's really going to be mad if there's not a big meal for him to eat on Christmas."
"I will make him a nice meal at the cabin."
"You're not sure he wants to go," Kate remarked; "So I guess I better bring him a plate from our dinner just to make sure he gets fed on Christmas since you're apparently in a mood."
"I'm not going to let my husband go without dinner," Johanna retorted. "I'll be making dinner no matter where we are; it's just not going to be a big deal."
"Why are you so moody this morning?" her daughter asked.
"Because I didn't sleep well," she answered; which she hadn't slept well but she also didn't like the topic of Christmas…especially with her daughter. "Didn't you hear that thunder?"
"Yes, I heard it," Kate replied as she shifted in her seat. "Scarlett didn't like it."
"How do you know?"
"She camped out in my room," she answered.
"How did she get in? She was in the guest room when I went to bed."
"She scratched at my door in the middle of the night and I got up and let her in," Kate replied. "Aren't you going to get Scarlett a gift?"
"Of course I'm getting Scarlett a gift," Johanna remarked. "She's my baby."
"I thought I was your baby."
"You are…but Scarlett is my second baby and she doesn't mind gifts. In fact, she welcomes them."
"So the cat is better than me in that respect, right?"
"I didn't say that at all."
"It felt implied."
"How you interpret things isn't my problem, Katie," Johanna remarked. "I'm done with the conversation about Christmas now though. When our plans are finalized, I'll let you know…I'll let you know when we get to the cabin and I'll let you know when we get back home."
"Fine; that's all I ask. I can't break that habit yet, Mom."
"I know," Johanna said, her tone softening; "And I don't have a problem with that. I'm sorry…I just didn't sleep good last night and I don't like to talk about Christmas. I wish I could just forget it was coming or fast forward to New Year's. I didn't mean to be short with you."
"It's alright," Kate replied; "It's not like I've never done it to you."
"I know…but I try not to do it when I haven't really been provoked."
"I brought up a topic you don't like, therefore, I provoked you."
"But still, I should've tried harder to ignore the feeling that springs up when that topic is mentioned. I'm sorry, Katie."
"It's fine, Mom," she said softly. "You're allowed to be in a bad mood sometimes, okay?"
"I try to keep it to myself as much as possible when that mood strikes."
"I think maybe you'd feel better if you had more to do and less time to focus on things like what you won't be doing for holidays."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "I have plenty of things to do. I have a house to take care of, a husband to take care of, a cat to take care of; plus I do a little of your father's legal work."
"Maybe you should get your own job…maybe that would be good for you."
"Yeah; I'll just give my husband a stroke for Christmas and announce that I'm opening up my own law practice. That's the perfect gift for my family."
"I wasn't implying that you go back to practicing law; that's the last thing anyone wants you to do. I was suggesting that maybe it's time for you to get back to teaching law. Why don't you get in touch with Columbia?"
She knew, Johanna thought to herself…she had to know; why else would she bring up teaching at Columbia? She somehow had to know about the offer that she had received. "Who told you?" she asked.
Kate gave her an odd look. "Told me what?"
"About Columbia?"
"Mom, what the hell are you talking about? I've always known that you taught semesters at Columbia; you took me with you at times. I sat in the classes."
"That's not what I meant! I meant who told you that they offered me a damn job!?"
Surprise flicked across Kate's face. "Columbia offered you a position?"
"You know they did; that's why you brought it up! Who told you…or who do you know that you asked to give your burden of a mother a job so she won't be anyone's problem anymore?!"
Kate shook her head. "Okay, before you let the hurricane roll out, first of all, I don't know anyone connected to the faculty or staff at Columbia so I didn't ask anyone to offer you a job nor have I called you a burden. I thought we got off that train of thought a long time ago. Second; no one told me you had gotten an offer, because again, I don't know anyone who would know that…but since I do know now; you want to tell me about it?"
"Damn it," Johanna muttered. "This is what happens when I don't sleep well."
"Yeah; apparently we should talk more when you haven't slept well. I learn things. So when did you get this offer?"
"A few weeks ago."
"And what exactly is the offer?"
"The offer is for either a part time position or a full time one."
"Permanent or temporary like it used to be?"
"Permanent," Johanna answered.
"And if you take it, which position would you prefer?"
"Part time."
"Why not full time?"
"Because I like spending time with my husband, we like to travel…I don't want full time."
"Okay; then take the part time; what classes?"
"That's to be discussed further if I decide to call them."
"And when do you need to do that by?"
"Soon."
"What does Dad think of it?"
Johanna glanced away. "I haven't told him."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not taking it; I'm needed here."
"For what?" Kate exclaimed. "Dad works most days and you're here with the cat. Take the job, Mom. You like teaching and it'll be good for you to get back out there. Call and schedule a time to go talk to them."
"It's not that easy!"
"It can be if you let it. Dad isn't going to object; just tell him and see what he says. You know he'll tell you to take it if you want it."
"I'm not sure I want it."
"I don't see why not."
She rubbed her fingers across her forehead. "Katie, I don't want to talk about this right now and I'd appreciate it if you don't mention it to your father."
"So you're going to blow the perfect offer? That's your school, Mom. You graduated from there, you went back every time they called and taught classes to give back…you know you'll feel at home there. You know you like teaching. Just do it."
"I'll make my decision when I'm ready," she stated. "Don't you have to be getting to your job?"
Kate smirked at her. "So you're ready to be rid of me now?"
"No, not at all; I just don't want you to be late for work."
"Sure," Kate said as she glanced at her watch; "But I guess it is time for me to go."
"I'm glad you came over last night; it was nice to watch Temptation Lane with you."
"Yeah; that was good," she agreed as she carried her dishes to the sink. "Thanks for letting me stay."
"Anytime," her mother stated as she got up from her chair to walk her to the front door. "You can come back tonight if the heat in your building still hasn't been fixed."
"Castle and I are going out tonight so I'll probably end up at the loft," Kate said as they reached the entryway.
Johanna gave a nod. "Well, if anything would change, you know you're always welcome to take up residence in your old room."
"I know…it was nice being here last night."
"I'm sorry this morning wasn't quite so nice."
Kate shook her head as Scarlett trotted into the entryway to join them. "It's okay, Mom; I didn't really sleep all the great either at first. I had things on my mind and there was that thunder…that was enough to jerk everyone out of their sleep."
"Your father barely flinched," Johanna said with a laugh.
She laughed softly. "Leave it to Dad to be the one person who wasn't disturbed."
"He's special like that," her mother replied with a smile.
"Yeah; he is," she said as she pulled on her jacket and then picked up her overnight bag she had placed near the door that morning and her purse. "I better get going. I'll talk to you later…lock the door."
"I will," Johanna replied as Kate opened the front door before turning back and hugging her.
"I love you," Kate murmured as she held onto her tightly for a moment.
"I love you too. Be careful."
"I always am," she told her as she released her.
Scarlett meowed and rubbed against Kate's ankle. "I'll see you next time fur ball," she told her as she stooped down and petted her for a few moments.
"She loves you, Katie."
"I think she's just lulling me into a false sense of security," she remarked.
"Oh she is not. Bring her a toy next time and play with her; she likes that."
"Yeah; I'll see what I can pick up for her," Kate said with a nod as she got back to her feet.
"Have fun tonight," her mother told her.
"I will…why don't you try to get some more sleep," Kate suggested.
"I might do that after I do my morning housework," Johanna replied. "Don't worry; I'll be fine."
"I know you will be. I'll talk to you later."
"Talk to you later," Johanna said as her daughter pushed through the screendoor. She locked it and watched as Katie made her way to her car and got it, giving her a wave as she did so. Once she pulled away from the curb, Johanna closed the front door and locked it too, glancing down at Scarlett as she did so. "Your sister went to work; it's you and me again."
Scarlett meowed and headed for the living room, Johanna following behind her to see what she was up to. The cat headed for her bed and climbed into it, curling up with a soft meow. "Really?" Johanna asked; "Eating breakfast exhausted you and now you need a nap?"
Her pet meowed once more. "Alright, sweetie; you take your nap. I'll be in later to watch TV."
Johanna headed back to the kitchen, feeling the dip in the air temperature as she went to the sink and grabbed the damp dishcloth before heading to the table to wipe it down. She knew what the drop in temperature meant…and she wasn't sure she was up for a ghostly visitor today.
"You were a bit harsh when the topic of Christmas came up," Sarah stated as she materialized in the chair that Kate had vacated minutes before.
"That's because I'm sick of that topic," Johanna remarked as she wiped off the table.
"I don't see why; I mean it is the season for the topic."
"You know good and damn well why, Sarah," she replied. "You've been driving me crazy with it. Katie isn't interested in spending a second of the holiday with us so why should I want to discuss it with her? We made a deal; I'm sticking to it…and that's what she wants too, that's why she made sure that I'm not getting her a gift."
"I think you should get her a little gift," the spirit remarked.
"No, I'm not. I did that last year and it all got returned. Jim is free to get her his usual envelope full of giftcards but I'm respecting her wishes and getting her nothing."
Sarah pursed her lips. "You won't feel good about it."
"I didn't feel good about making all of those returns last year either but no one cared about that."
"You're a little testy today, darling; what's wrong?"
"I didn't sleep well, as you know."
Sarah's dark brow rose. "No, I don't know…I was busy last night. What disturbed you, dear?"
"For one thing there were loud cracks of thunder; which seemed very odd for this time of year."
"Oh that was nothing to fear; usually those things happen when someone is trying to make a point somewhere," Sarah remarked.
"Why should I have to be startled out of my bed so someone else can get a point?" Johanna asked.
"Ours is not to question why, darling. Now tell Grandma what else is troubling you today."
"It troubles me to think of you as Grandma when you look young enough to be my daughter."
"I could look older if I wished, but I don't like to so I don't," Sarah remarked; "Now, come on, tell me what's bothering you."
"I had bad dreams," Johanna remarked.
"Oh?" Sarah said with concern. "What kind of bad dreams?"
"I don't want to talk about it," she muttered as she moved to the sink to wash the breakfast dishes.
"That bad?"
Johanna said nothing as she went about her task of filling the sink with soap and water.
"Dreams can't hurt you, darling…neither can thunder, although I imagine it isn't a nice soundtrack for dreams."
"No, it isn't."
"Was there anyone in your dreams that I might know and can have a word with?"
"No."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
Sarah was quiet for a few moments as Johanna dunked dishes beneath the suds. "It was about Katie, wasn't it?"
"I hate when you do that," she remarked.
"Read your thoughts?" Sarah asked. "Well, kitten; sometimes you don't give me a choice. You dreamed that she was lost…not in a physical sense so to speak…but lost as in the fact that she had separated from you completely. It reminded you of your time in Wyoming, only this was much worse because you had been shunned instead of just cut off from her."
"I don't know why you ask questions when you seem to know everything," her granddaughter stated.
"I think someone needs a nap," Sarah said in a sing song voice.
"It's hard to nap with a ghost in the house."
"I'll be going soon; contrary to popular belief, you're not the only person I speak with…or deal with…or annoy."
"Good to know," Johanna replied. "Who's next on your list?"
"I'm afraid I can't share that information with you."
"Of course not; you never can share anything."
Sarah smiled a little as she crossed the room to stand next to her. "Perhaps for Christmas, I could spook your sister and tell you all about it as a little gift to you. Would you like that?"
A hint of a smile tugged at Johanna's lips. "I kind of think I would."
"Alright then, I shall scare the bejesus out of her."
"That would be great…any way you can film that so I can see it?"
"I'll see what I can do…and you should make some fudge so Jim isn't disappointed…along with that peppermint cake."
She shook her head. "I don't think I can make the cake."
"Why not? He's asked you for it."
"I don't know why he's asked for it, I made it last year and he didn't like it…he said it didn't taste the same; that I forgot and made my own cake mix instead of using the boxed white cake mix he preferred. I ended up throwing it in the garbage…which seemed fitting. Everything seemed to crash and burn into a big heap of garbage last year. He complained about helping me put up the tree. He didn't like our cake as much as he used to…the fudge got left behind when we left for the cabin shortly before New Year's. Everything was just…terrible…all the Christmases I spent alone and I think my first one back home was even worse than the ones I spent with a bottle of wine, drowning in tears and memories. You just can't go back, Sarah; there's just no going back. Beckett family Christmases are over and I've made my peace with it."
"I don't think you're all that peaceful about the decision," Sarah remarked. "So things went wrong last year…so you tried a little too hard and they didn't try at all. All you need is a little balance; a little mix of new and old and you'll find a way to have a happy Christmas again."
"I just really want it to be done," Johanna said tiredly.
"It won't ever be done, Josie. If you shun the holiday, the wound will just fester and you'll grow bitter every time December sets in."
Johanna sighed deeply. "I just want to go to the cabin with Jim and let this one slip by quietly."
"You could stay home and put up the tree you bought last year…and buy a few gifts…and bake a few things."
"I'm not having this argument today, Sarah."
"What are you going to do one day when you have a grandchild? If you get into the habit of running away from Christmas; eventually you'll be running away from memories you should be making with your grandchildren."
"I'll worry about that day when it gets here…and besides; it won't be my choice. It'll be up to Katie and Rick if I get to see my grandchildren on the holidays; and if I'm not invited and they decline any invitation I extend, then it's not my fault."
"I would expect you to fight for your right to be involved."
"I'm kind of tired of fighting at the moment," Johanna admitted. "Wedding planning is going to be in full swing soon and it'll probably be a fight just to keep my foot in that…the few meetings we've had about that have been dominated by Martha, so…I have enough battles coming up. I don't need to look to the future for more."
Sarah glanced at her. "You didn't ask Katie what her plans are for Christmas."
"I don't need to ask; I know. She'll either be at work or at Rick's…or a combination of the two."
"You could squeeze yourself in there if you really wanted to."
"That's the thing, Sarah; I don't really want to. I know it makes me sound terrible but I just don't want to. We had that big blowout last year and she told me how it is and how it was going to be and I accept that. I agreed that I wouldn't expect her to spend any portion of the holidays with me and I'm going to respect her wishes."
"Even if it hurts you to do so?"
Johanna met her eye. "It's what my family wants and needs. Jim doesn't care much for Christmas…because of me…because I hadn't gotten around to taking down the decorations yet when I had to leave. So to him, it was still Christmas. Katie doesn't want to spend the holiday with me because again, I ruined Christmas. Maybe if I had gotten things taken down and put away, it would've made some difference but I was busy and then I was spiraling out of control…and now this is how it has to be. I'm fine with that…it's okay for it to be over for me. Christmas is a lot of stress and I don't need it. I just wish I could make you understand that."
"And I wish that I could make you understand that Christmas is what you make it…and you could make it be something other than it is right now."
"I do understand…and I'm choosing to make it nothing."
Sarah sighed. "I have so much work to do…and you're making it so difficult; really, darling; I think you've got a healthy dose of your grandfather in your veins."
"From what I know, he clearly thought I was all you," Johanna remarked.
"He was wrong and I'll tell him so later," her grandmother declared.
She gave her a small smile. "Don't stress, Sarah; I'll be fine. It's just a difficult time to get through but one day it'll be easier. I'll be fine, I promise."
"I want you to be better than fine."
"Sometimes you have to settle for what you can get," Johanna told her. "Trust me, I know all too well."
The spirit looked slightly disgruntled and unhappy as she digested the statement. This wasn't going well at all and it was starting to ruffle her feathers. Why did her grandchildren have to be such a stubborn lot? Well, she had some idea of why they were so damn stubborn…and she'd give Patrick McKenzie an earful for passing along that gene…and then she'd give her son an earful as well. Great, now she was cranky too she thought. Sarah sighed. She was going to need to consult with some relatives who were more like minded and who resided in her own realm. She had one particular person in mind.
"I've got to be going now, Josie," Sarah remarked.
"Already? You've barely brow beat me today."
"Yes, I know…but you're cranky and need a nap; and please do take one, your home will be ghost free and the weather is clear, no thunder in the forecast. I, on the other hand, have things to do."
"Oh?" Johanna said with a raised brow. "I think I've suddenly been demoted."
"Not at all, kitten; you're just going to require a little more thought so I can get through that thick skull of yours."
She smiled. "You're one to talk. I'll see you around though."
"You can count on that," Sarah remarked before disappearing from her granddaughter's view. She was nowhere near done with her granddaughter or her great granddaughter. She just needed to have a consultation…plan out her strategy a little more. There would be Christmas in this family; one way or another.