Jokes, Cliches, and Metaphors

Kohari: Hello, once again. Y'all better thank Lady-Kitsune-Kawaii, 'cause if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be updating. Heck, Kohari might not even exist anymore if it hadn't been for the GGF readers. (Don't have any idea what I'm talking about? Obviously, you haven't read my bio or any of the GGF work...or My Grandpa's Back...naughty, naughty...). But enough about that. I need to talk about the future of JCM. Remember the original? Ya know, the one that got deleted? Well...I kinda can't find the disks that I stored the chapterson - I was using them as a base and converting them from chat/script to the current mode that we're being forced to use now. So...until I find them (which will, hopefully, be before the next chapter), I'm gonna skip ahead in the original and put this one up. I know you guys are tired of stuff like this and are ready for some more pranks, but, once again, I'm sorry. It's totally my bad. Don't worry - we'll get some serious prankage/joking going on real soon.

How to Understand Women (Sort of)

After years of studying Hilary, the boys think they are finally able to understand women. Sort of. Anyway, in order to help men everywhere, they have compiled a short list of phrases (and non-verbal statements) that women commonly use.

Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks, as this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes - This is actually half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash.

Nothing - This actually means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down,and backwards (not in a sexual way, either...)." Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows) - This is a dare, which will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows) - This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care." You will bet a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Go Ahead! - At some point in the near future, you're going to be in some mighty big trouble...

Loud Sigh (non-verbal statement) - Often misunderstood by men, this actually means that she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

Soft Sigh (n-v s) - She is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. Often used with the words "Fine" and in conjunction with raised eyebrows.

Please Do - This is not a statement; it's an offer. She's giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful.

Thanks - She's thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're welcome".

Thanks A Lot - Much different from "Thanks". This actually means she is REALLY ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Do not ask what is wrong; she will only tell you "Nothing."

Note: The "Words Women Use" section is credited to "The Scoopster"

Kohari: Okay, change of plan - I actually wanna continue the Beyblade version of "Wizard of Oz". But it depends on my mood, your opinion (and the quantity of reviews), and whether or not I find that disk...Tootles for now!