Yuri understandably kept a distance from Suzuka after her prod at his Persona. Enlil had disappeared entirely. None of them talked about it, and Hisako liked to imagine he was grateful for that, although it would probably take some time for him to feel truly at ease around Suzuka again.
"So, why are all these holes here? I don't remember any."
"I'm not sure. They certainly weren't here when we found you," Hisako replied.
"Where do they lead?"
"It looks like different parts of the labyrinth," Yuri called as he casually stepped through one of the nearer holes. Suzuka bounced past him to investigate other ones, and Hisako inwardly sighed at how he flinched back when she neared him. Suzuka either didn't notice or pretended not to.
So the smart monsters at the end of the levels act as replacements, but they don't reappear or get replaced after they're gone. And they can see us as well as our Personas. And touching someone else's Persona… She wasn't fully sure. Some sort of horrifically embarrassing physical arousal, but there had been those moments prior when she had watched her friends act like ragdolls. So the other effect is secondary? Or is it some sort of delay?
She wasn't as exhausted from the fight or exploring as she'd been in the past, but the emotional fallout almost seemed to be worse. Hisako was content to let the other two look through the various holes. At least it was two until Yuri saw that Hisako was still seated on the ground, watching them. He joined her and they watched Suzuka.
"Lazy butts!" the short girl shouted, but there was no venom in her tone.
"It's her area, she can explore it," Yuri grumbled and leaned back on his arms. Hisako figured he really, honestly didn't understand how hypocritical he was being; he was so stubborn about rejecting the first level as his own, and was so quick to pin the second one on Suzuka. But that could be a discussion for another day. She didn't want to break their fragile peace. "I'm just glad that storm is over in here…"
"Yeah, it's over," she said absently. Two floors cleared out of any big threats. Progress. So we can ask Ereshkigal and Nergal about Irkalla itself and some about Dumuzi and his sister. I can ask the twins and Igor about Personas. But there's too much overlap where no one has answers.
Suzuka, seemingly endlessly energetic, flitted from hole to hole, examining ones that could easily fit Tiamat and peering through ones barely the size of her head. Hisako didn't waste time wondering why the winged snake had created holes that small; it was dead and just so long as nothing else jumped out at them, she was content to continue thinking ahead.
Our Personas are manifestations of our psyches, but seem to be representing someone else according to the deities. Is it reincarnation? She didn't particularly feel like a reincarnated goddess. Hisako pursed her lips and hummed to herself. If we could figure out some way to communicate with our Personas, I wonder how many questions they'd be able to answer for us?
"I had a crush on Mika," Yuri blurted out without warning.
Hisako, properly jarred out of her thoughts, turned to him slowly with nothing short of utter amazement. She had almost forgotten how bad he was with lulls in conversation, but that took the cake on his random nervous exclamations. "...Seriously?"
"I was in grade school," he groaned with very real regret in his voice. "Is there any chance we can change subjects as we continue to not leave me in awkward silences?"
"Do you not like the silence, or can you not keep a secret?"
"...Both."
"I'm going to ask you about Mika-chan, you realize."
"I've realized," he said miserably. "And it's my own fault. I know that. I just can't stop thinking about her lately since we've been talking so much…"
Hisako still didn't know if Haruka or Suzuka was right about them. Did that count as a confession, or was that something related to their vague falling out in the past? "Um, do you want to talk about it?"
"I'd like to talk about something. Something that isn't what Sakuraba just did, or smartass monsters, or Mika."
"...She's one of my other social links, just like you. I still don't know what they're here for, and I'm not sure about any connections, but it might mean she's in the running for getting a Persona at some point. Could you handle her joining the team?"
"...We used to be best friends. We probably could work together pretty well if we'd stop with the pointless sniping. This is all, uh, unrelated to the crush I had. Just so you're aware," Yuri said quickly, cheeks turning pink.
"I'm aware now. How did you know it was a crush? Did you feel butterflies on your stomach, or was it hard to talk to her, or what?"
It was his turn to stare at her incredulously. "Please tell me you're not asking me for love advice in a really roundabout way."
And it was then her turn to flush. "Well, you didn't want to talk about her anymore…"
Yuri groaned again and flopped onto his back in defeat. "I don't know what conversation is worse. Everything's just a landmine with you."
"That's a little mean. You brought it up, too, in case you forgot."
"No, that's not what I meant, sorry," he replied with a frown up at the ceiling. "I mean, I don't usually get talkative with a lot of people. Not with Mika, not anymore, and lately I've been sweating bullets just trying not to blurt out anything about Personas with Shunya-senpai, but with you, it's everything. Except Personas. So I basically have all of my bases covered with embarrassing topics to talk about."
Hisako hadn't thought about him doing it to other people regularly, or in the past. Although, come to think of it… Mika pushed for information a lot, evidently, and Yuri nervously said things with enough awkward silences. No wonder he had issues with talking.
"At least you were Mika-chan's best friend for awhile, while you liked her?" He nodded. "I can't even look Mathias-san in the eye without mentally freaking out about it. I'm not entirely sure how I'll handle stuff with Suzuka-chan now, either."
"I'm still not ready for the girl drama," Yuri announced in a deadpan.
"Also sort of rude of you to say," Hisako replied shortly.
"Give me a couple more days to adjust. Let's talk about anything else in the meantime, promise. Anything but crushes."
It was sorely tempting to dance around crushes and ask him to reveal how he and Mika got so bad with one another, but she didn't want to force him. That'd be a doubly bad idea now that she had a bit more context. So, instead, in the most casual voice she could manage, she asked, "What's it like having a best friend?"
He raised his head far enough from the floor to give her another look of disbelief. "I thought girls were masters of friendship."
"Social links don't count."
"Before you moved here?"
"I was, ah, quiet? That's a good word for it. I mostly studied and worked in my spare time. I had friends," she hastened to add, "but nothing like Suzuka and Haruka. I'm used to being more on my own. So a lot of this is new to me."
She was incredibly grateful that he didn't poke any fun at that admission. Yuri shrugged from his position on the floor. "I guess… You can talk to that person about anything, but at the same time, you already know what not to talk about and what you should talk about. You feel comfortable sitting in silence together. You know all sorts of dumb things about them and they know the same about you. In some cases, they're the person you prioritize above others, even if it's not the nicest thing to do."
"Alright, thank you." The words were hardly out of her mouth before the flash of light startled her. Yuri didn't react until the card floated down between them. "Didn't you see that?"
"No," he said, just as confused as she was; the last time she had gotten a rank up in Irkalla, he had seen it, too. He plucked it out of the air, so it was still tangible for him. "So… why did you get it this time?"
"I'm not sure what causes them to appear." She could guess, but she had trouble forming the words to explain it. Hisako grinned and leaned over him. "Maybe it means we should talk about Mika-chan more."
"Maybe it means—"
"Holy hell guys, you have to come see this!" Suzuka's shriek cut across their conversation, making both of them jump. Yuri narrowly avoided banging his head against Hisako's. Chuckling as he reddened and backed away, the blonde looked over to their other teammate, who was standing in one of the larger holes, waving her arms at them. "Come here, come here! Quick!"
Yuri grumbled all the way and made a point of standing several feet back, but as they reached the hole, Hisako could find nothing strange or exciting about it. Suzuka leapt through it in one clean shot and disappeared around the corner. "Wait, Suzuka-chan! We shouldn't be splitting up!" Hisako followed her through, but soon found why she'd been shouting.
Just down the hallway, beyond a couple of branching paths, Suzuka stood in front of a half-melted wall of ice.
"That's… my ice. Inanna's."
"We're back there?"
"Yeah! This is back near the beginning!" Suzuka said, vibrating with elation at this discovery. "We have a shortcut!"
That put everyone in far better spirits. They bypassed almost all of the second level, arriving at the staircase leading back up in record time, and didn't run into a single monster. None of them mentioned the possibility that it might not be there, if they ever returned. A large part of Hisako hoped they never would. A smaller, darker part hoped that they could, just to continue learning and exercising their power over the area.
Without a storm to erode the ice away, Hisako created another ice rink in the first level. Large parts of her original paths were still there. Evidently, most would-be enemies didn't care about how they changed Irkalla after they were out of sight. Even tired as they were, skating was the faster option for getting out of there, and she was pleased to see that Yuri was improving. Suzuka had already been stellar at it. (That made Hisako wonder if she was skilled in any other sporty things.)
Nergal was gone when they reached the end of the twisting corridors, and with no one to supervise them, they made a sheet of ice across that area, too. Suzuka tried to show off, attempting jumps and backwards skating, while Hisako in turn tried to urge Yuri into a sprint. It was a clear, straight shot, and the best chance to see how well he could skate if given the chance. He still ended up falling on his butt more than once. Then, they were out.
Outside again, Hisako was only mildly surprised to get ambushed by Haruka. "You were gone for so long!" she wailed, throwing herself at the first two available. It probably wasn't her plan for it to be Suzuka and Yuri, but after pulling back a moment to process hugging him, she graciously rolled with it.
"So long?" Hisako repeated in alarm.
"She's joking," Mika said flatly, arms crossed. "It was the same as ever, you were only gone long enough to step down into there."
"My jokes are hilarious and I should be appreciated for them," Haruka said with a pout.
"Can these jokes involve less heart attacks and embracing?" Yuri asked, clearly unsure as to how to pry her off of him. Suzuka wiggled in between them, but Haruka only tightened the hug, sandwiching her. Haruka was nearly as tall as Yuri, and seeing Suzuka between the two tallest only reinforced the height difference. She laughed into Yuri's chest as he struggled against Haruka's grip. "Definitely less embracing!"
"Oh, suck it up. We're teammates regardless of the awkward feelings, and I'll be leaving—mmph!"
"No talking about that!" Suzuka commanded. Freeing one arm out from her prison, she gestured for the other two girls. "Group hug instead!"
"I didn't sign up for this," Yuri said with mounting panic.
"I'm fine over here," Hisako said, edging away from the flailing limb. Mika nodded her agreement.
"Get over here!" Haruka let go of Yuri in order to snag the brunette, but he made his escape at that point. Unfortunately for him, he ducked towards Hisako, just as Suzuka managed to grab her, so they more or less ended up squished against each other anyway. Hisako found herself stuck between his shoulder, Haruka's pigtails, and was fairly certain Suzuka was staring down her dress' neckline.
"New team rule?" Yuri said weakly.
"Oh, shut up," Suzuka replied, voice fond. "Just be glad you're touching all this lady skin."
"I'm out of here," Mika said at once.
"Guys please, I'm trying to have a moment," Haruka growled. "Because I'm leaving this—"
"Hisako-chan has a crush on the exchange student and if you touch someone else's Persona you get a boner!" Suzuka shouted in order to prevent her friend from saying the dreaded words.
"Can anyone here keep a secret?!" Hisako cried. She felt Yuri bury his face in her hair with a groan.
"I'm going to miss these team bonding moments. Look at all of this camaraderie. Listen to the trust levels plummeting as we speak," Haruka said with a wistful sigh.
"What sort of perverted things are going on down there?!" Mika demanded in a shrill voice. "Yuri Kikuchi, what have you been doing with these girls?!"
"Oh my god, let's just shut up about this right now. And for your information, it was Sakuraba who started it both times—"
"Both times?!"
"I'd like to leave the group hug now," Hisako said flatly, ignoring how Suzuka was grinning in triumph at the change of subject. Haruka finally released her hold, prompting the redhead to do the same, and Yuri and Mika immediately stalked off in separate directions. At least there was some part of their team dynamic that wouldn't change with Haruka's absence.
-.-.-
Wednesday, May 21st, 2014
…
"My dear guest, I apologize for once again spiriting you away from your normal dreams," Igor said, sounding especially remorseless. Hisako looked down at her dream self. At least she wasn't in her pajamas. Octavia and Atticus stood stiffly on each side of him, but the surprising part—because she was entirely too used to the Velvet Room and dreams and its odd inhabitants—was a newcomer. A large, bright blue butterfly was perched on the table between them, slowly waving its wings.
"Is something the matter?" Hisako asked, eyes on the butterfly. It fluttered its wings at her and turned around to face Igor.
"We just wish to see your Persona for ourselves."
She looked up at him with a frown. "I've tried summoning Inanna here before. It doesn't work. I don't know what's wrong, but it's not a new thing."
"That's why we're not asking you to summon her," said Igor mildly.
Without warning, Octavia and Atticus placed one hand on either her shoulders, their other hands on her wrists, pinning her arms to the chair. She felt the first sharp stab of fear when she realized they wouldn't budge. "Wh-What are you doing?" she asked in a strained voice. It was a dream, wasn't it? They couldn't do anything to her in a dream, right?
"Please, try to relax. This will not harm you physically," the man told her, and with a wave of his hand, the butterfly flitted over to her. It landed on the part of her hair, then crawled down her face. She wasn't particularly afraid of insects, but she was afraid of being restrained, and having something crawl over her face wasn't improving anything. The butterfly made its way down to her chest. As she thought about blowing on it to try to rid herself of it, it stuck its needle-like mouth into her.
For a brief moment, it was just a prick of pain. Startling, but not terrible. But then, it must have reached its goal, for she felt Inanna's presence hit her like a ton of bricks. She was suddenly back, pressing in on her brain from all sides, weighing on her heart like stone. She jerked against the pair holding her down. Hisako felt a pulling in her chest, and Inanna's feelings coalesced into something she could finally identify—terror. Nothing but terror and panic.
Then the butterfly tried to move Inanna.
Hisako choked on her first scream, horrified to find blood in her mouth, running from her nose and coming up from her lungs. Worse was the pain. It was like the first time Inanna appeared, but instead of clawing her way out of her ribcage, she was digging her nails in. Her spine arched and she fought against the assistants, but their grip was iron on her. She swore she could feel her Persona pulling on everything she could get her hands on, fighting tooth and nail to stay inside, terror seeping out of every desperate grab for safety. Hisako could hardly breathe for all of blood and bile in her throat. She wasn't sure if she was still screaming, or if it was Inanna in her brain.
With her customary flash and drop in temperature, the Persona appeared before them. Hisako sagged in her chair and the twins released her, kneeling down beside her, murmuring apologies she didn't care to hear. She just tried to concentrate on breathing. Her mouth tasted like copper, her face was wet from tears and blood, and her throat was raw. Inanna was giving off so much fear that it made her physically sick. She twisted in her chair and heaved, but nothing came up except bloody spittle. Octavia had the gall to offer her a handkerchief.
"Interesting," Igor said.
Hisako turned to glower at him. "You just ripped my Persona out of me," she said hoarsely. She had to look down to make sure there weren't actual gouges on her chest. The butterfly was nowhere to be seen.
"It was necessary," Atticus said, putting a hand on hers. She turned her glare on him and he immediately took it back.
"We had to look her over. We need to make sure you're fine," Octavia added.
"You can't summon her yourself in here, and we didn't know what else to do."
"We are sorry. But we did wait until you were in a dream so you wouldn't actually come to any harm."
"This feels like plenty of harm," Hisako snapped. Inanna was still cowering before her, looking so unlike her usual self. Igor still sat calmly in his chair, fingers steepled beneath his long nose. "Well… You have her. Look her over. But don't touch her."
"We would never touch another's Persona," Atticus said, sounding shocked she'd even say that. Hisako rolled her eyes. She couldn't even be surprised.
"Master, will you inspect her?" Octavia asked softly.
Igor's eyebrows rose nearly imperceptibly. "...I will," he said after a pause.
Neither of the pale-haired twins left her side as their master stood up, circled around his desk, and surveyed the giant warrior before them. Hisako felt only the tiniest bit less angry at them for it. "You should have warned me, or asked me," she said sourly.
"We had to do it," Octavia replied and offered her handkerchief again. That time, Hisako took it but made sure to maintain a scowl. "We had to make sure you had a Persona."
"What do you think I've been using this entire time?! You said so yourself I had a Persona!" Hisako replied incredulously. That was why she just had to have Inanna forcibly pulled from her?
"We had to be absolutely certain you were not utilizing some sort of Shadow, or half-formed Persona," Igor replied. "Accidents in Persona creation can happen, if very rarely. Since you could not summon her in the Velvet Room, we had feared the worst. But rest assured, dear guest, this is very much a Persona."
"Well thank you for that," Hisako replied sarcastically. The pain had faded, abnormally quickly, likely because it was a dream—but the constant, high-level terror from Inanna wasn't lessening. It made her feel anxious and physically agitated, and in some part of her mind, she was beginning to realize that her Persona was deathly afraid of the Velvet Room.
"It does not explain the missing Wild Card, however," Igor replied without acknowledging her sarcasm. He turned to look at the blue butterfly, which had returned to his desk at some point.
"Or her Persona's refusal to appear here," Atticus added unhelpfully.
"She wasn't refusing, she just wasn't there," Hisako grumbled. "I can feel her normally, in Irkalla. I'm pretty sure I can even feel her in the real world, too, in some really tiny way. I don't know. But not here."
"This place is welcoming to Personas, strong or weak," Octavia said. "And yours is certainly strong. She should not have felt threatened or found it difficult to appear here at your summons."
"Threatened? Is that what you think she is?" She pointed at her Persona, who was still crouched low, arms wrapped around herself, attempting to use her violet hair as a shield for her face. "She is scared of you, and scared of this place. This is the most afraid I have ever seen her!"
The room was silent as her words sunk in. Igor's face remained impassive, but the twins slowly tightened their hands over Hisako's.
"...Why is she afraid of you?" she asked and Inanna impossibly curled into herself further.
"I cannot be certain, but I hypothesize that it's tied to why she refused to appear prior to this," Igor said. He circled around the Persona once more, chin in hand. "The missing Wild Card, the resulting unnecessary development of social links, and her shyness here despite being a true Persona… Very curious."
"Don't forget her unexplained boost in power," Octavia added.
"It could be possible yet that the social links are somehow feeding into her strength directly," Atticus responded, leaning forward to better look at his sister.
She leaned forward as well with a thoughtful furrow of her brow. "But we have noted that that does not appear to be the case thus far."
"But it could be possible in some way we have not thought of yet. What other explanation could there be?"
"All preliminary findings point to the opposite—"
"Octavia, Atticus! Please do not bicker or theorize unnecessarily in our dear guest's presence," Igor declared. They shut up at once.
"...I don't mind it," Hisako ventured, "I like hearing theories. I want to know what's going on, especially if it's directly related to Inanna or me. And a lot of this could have been avoided if you had."
Igor glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, his chin still cupped in his gloved hand. After a moment, he smiled. "I must apologize. You are, naturally, correct. The Velvet Room's purpose is to serve our honored guests on their journeys to the best of our abilities, regardless of whatever curiosities they may show us. We have been blinded by our own concerns, and for that, I apologize once more."
"I like the initiative. You can keep searching for answers you want," Hisako replied, wary of his tone. He sounded perfectly courteous and even contrite, but she didn't want him stopping because of some sort of loophole (or spite). Or perhaps he was trying to reign his assistants back in once more? Quickly, she also said, "And I do like hearing the theories you're coming up with. Even if they may seem silly to you or anyone else. At least they're trying."
"Sister, I do believe dear Hisa-chan is attempting to defend us," Atticus said with wonder in his tone. Hisako could already tell it had been a bad idea.
"From our master, no less. That's very protective for a human, isn't it?" Octavia answered.
"Is this a side-effect of a social link? I must admit, I have been feeling rather protective myself lately…" He let go of her hand to look down at his own, as if shocked by its behavior. While she sincerely hoped he was being serious, she couldn't help but feel like she was being made fun of, if only a little.
"Of whom?" his sister asked.
Please not—
"Every time I see you place your hands on dear Hisa-chan, I don't wish to share like we normally do," Atticus said, cutting off her thought before she could begin to pray otherwise.
"I don't believe that's protective instincts, but rather something akin to jealousy. How remarkably petty of you, brother."
It would have been perfectly academic and almost bearable if Octavia, as she was speaking, had not slowly leaned in towards Hisako to touch as much of her body as possible. The platinum-haired girl wrapped both arms around Hisako's shoulders, set her chin on top of her head, and continued to stare at her brother with innocent, wide eyes.
"Now who's the petty one, sister?" Atticus asked with a thin smile. With as much care as he'd give to handling fine china, he began wedging himself in between his twin and Hisako. She was pretty sure half of his finger joints weren't supposed to bend that way as he wormed his way in. "These human emotions are so ugly, it's unbecoming of such a remarkable woman as yourself. You should stop."
"I think you should both stop," Hisako said in a deadpan. They drew back in surprise, like they hadn't just been waging war over her. A war that she had begun to notice, but had hoped was her imagination. She was sincerely glad to have them back on her side, and apparently so loyal, but they were becoming more physically affectionate at an alarming rate. "This is how this started, remember? I want you to ask before doing things. Pulling Inanna out of me, hugging me, and thinking strange things about me or her. I want to know what you're thinking, but also what you're going to be doing. Especially to me."
"I am going to cuddle you now," Atticus said with such weight that she almost laughed.
"I think not."
"I am going to cuddle you—" Octavia started but Hisako shook her head.
"Announcing yourself is not the same as asking. I'm really not comfortable with a lot of touching, so please remember that in the future."
"Octavia, Atticus, you heard our esteemed guest. Do respect her wishes," Igor chimed in pointedly. They let go of her so fast she half-wondered if they had teleported. Hisako gave the master of the Velvet Room a look, and he cracked an unamused smile. "I know they can be overeager, but they are a social link of yours, and they are striving to aid you in whatever way possible. I believe that includes learning more about humans and humanity along the way."
"Yes!" they chorused, still standing at attention on either side of her.
"But above all else, they must respect the rules of the contract. This means only aiding in your quest, not influencing it."
"What contract?" Hisako asked, tilting her head. That was the first she'd heard.
The room froze. Inanna blinked out and she felt a brief tingle at the base of her skull before all feelings of her Persona vanished, too. Slowly, Igor turned to stare at her with his smile still stuck on his face. "...Your contract that we ask you to sign once we have confirmed that you have a Persona and the Wild Card, dear guest. The contract stating that you choose your fate of your own free will."
"The… contract I never received?" Was she supposed to have gotten it in the mail? She wasn't sure they knew how human mail systems worked.
In unison, the twins swung away from her. Atticus wrung his hands and Octavia tugged on the ends of her hair, both of them muttering under their breath. Igor swayed on his feet, caught himself, and managed to make it back to his desk before sinking into the chair.
"...Everything about this journey has been highly irregular and inconsistent. The Velvet Room and its staff have not demonstrated our usual competence nor knowledge to you, and for that I apologize yet again, dear guest." Igor pinched the bridge of his long nose and waved with his free hand. A sheet of paper and a blue quill floated out from his desk and over to Hisako. "Please, just sign the contract."
"But she doesn't have the Wild Card," Octavia whispered, hardly audible.
"She is clearly destined for great things, regardless of that fact. Perhaps it is tied to it. This is my own fault, Octavia, so do not fret. In my shock at her lack of Wild Card, I became sidetracked. This was a grave oversight, but it is nothing that will harm her future journey, nor our help in it."
"This is nice and cryptic, but what is this contract exactly?" Hisako asked, quill poised over the signature line on the bottom. Most of the paper was handwritten in cursive, but it wasn't English (not that she would've been able to read that reliably anyway) and definitely wasn't Japanese. There was only one place to sign and no fine print.
"It simply states that you choose your fate of your own free will and thus take responsibility for it," he repeated wearily.
"It means you acknowledge that your actions will have consequences," Atticus added at her elbow. He looked equal parts wanting to be helpful and still skittish at whatever mistake had just been made. She really didn't understand needing a contract, or the ramifications of receiving it late, but if it meant they'd continue helping her, how bad could it be?
She trusted them. Maybe not as much as she could, considering what they had just done to Inanna, but enough to know they wouldn't screw her over with a terrible contract.
Hisako paused, hoping that would signify a social link rank up. Nothing came. She sighed and signed her name at the bottom; so much for thinking she had figured out what caused them.
The paper rolled itself up and it and the quill floated back over to the desk. Igor didn't look it over before storing it in the top drawer. "Without the Wild Card in your possession, there is still not much we can do for you in the way of our usual services, but my master and I will continue to look into the matter. Thank you for your understanding in all of this, dear guest."
"No problem. Just—ask permission before doing stuff like this again. I care less about whether or not it will hurt and more about knowing, okay?" she reminded.
"Of course. We shall now return you to your normal dreamscape. Goodnight, dear guest, and until we meet again…" Igor smiled and the twins waved at her as the blue train car slowly faded to black.
-.-.-
Hisako stared at herself in the mirror. Ignoring the dark smudges under her eyes, she looked fine. True to their word, there was no sign of the damage she felt in the Velvet Room; there was no blood in her mouth, her throat felt fine, and there was no bruising or scratching or marks of any kind anywhere else. She could faintly feel Inanna again, a weak but steady sort of pulse in the back of her mind. It was more than she ever gave her in the Velvet Room.
She was so scared of them… Even recalling Inanna's terror made her feel ill. Or was it them? Did she even notice they were there? She couldn't be sure if she was scared of the room or its inhabitants. She hadn't seemed to move much during her time out, and all she could remember was Inanna curled into a ball in front of her the entire time.
Her mind and gaze both wandered. Persona stuff could always occupy her brain at the smallest prompting; it seemed as if it was just an endless list of unanswered questions every time she thought of it. How did dream visits even work? She had felt the pain of Inanna leaving her, she felt the twins grabbing her, she felt the parchment paper of the contract. Had time passed at all, or was it like Irkalla?
Her body, despite being unharmed, actually didn't look too good, either, on second thought. She could tell she had lost weight, although whether from the stress of normal life or from Irkalla—okay, it was certainly from Irkalla. She was out of shape, she knew, and she had meant to start jogging in the evenings and look up videos about staff fighting…
"And then there's you," she growled at the mirror, narrowing her eyes at her reflection's breasts. The tank top she slept in during the summer wasn't flattering to begin with, but she was working with less sleep than usual combined with an extra early morning. She wasn't in the mood for body issues, especially considering how much of a slippery slope that was for her.
Personas to body image in no time flat. She groaned at herself and rested her forehead against the sink, bending almost double to do so. Is that what normal girls did? Oh, what she wouldn't give to be a normal girl. She figured she could handle thinking about Personas and magic and rogue deities all the time, or schoolwork and boys (Mathias) and getting a part-time job all the time. There wasn't enough time for both, and mixing them in her brain wasn't doing her any favors.
"Ma-chan, are you almost done in there?" came her father's voice through the bathroom door.
She jerked her head back up so fast she nearly lost her balance. "Almost done! Sorry!"
"Just don't be late for school! Papa's gotta leave now, so I'll see you later!"
Hisako stuck her head out the door to wish him a good day just as he shut the door behind him. ...Where did her weird family issues fit into her compartmentalization? Probably normal life things. Probably.
On the heels of a night full of supernatural things, she had a particularly mundane day at school. Suzuka and Haruka took turns giving her doe-eyed sappy grins, which she figured was probably meant to imitate how she kept peeking back at Mathias. Mika took her aside at lunch to ask her if she planned on confessing, because yes, it was that obvious, and that didn't improve her mood. Yuri grabbed her directly after and pleaded with her to do something to stop all of the girls from going love crazy.
After telling him (again) that it wasn't her fault and it wasn't a bad thing, anyway, afternoon classes were blessedly quiet. Okay, maybe she could have been a little more diligent in the note-taking department, but she was halfway decent with science already, anyway. Mathias seemed to be writing a novel with all of the notes he was taking.
"Fujihara, in another universe, you would not get caught turned halfway around in your seat. Maybe in that universe I'm blind, or had my back turned at that precise moment, or perhaps I'm not your teacher at all. But alas, this is the single universe we're confined to, and this is the universe I catch you not paying attention," Mr. Tsukino lamented loudly.
"S-Sorry." She sunk low in her seat in embarrassment.
"At least this isn't the universe with a pop quiz today. Ours might be scheduled for tomorrow, however. Who knows, students?"
Great, so she'd have to study a little extra that night. Well, it wasn't as if she had other plans. Maybe grocery shopping, but they hardly needed anything too badly. She needed a better social life.
Classes wrapped up and Hisako moodily shoved her things into her bag. Extra studying on top of homework on top of half her friends teasing her about a silly crush—and the odd one out, Yuri, only asked her to stop acting so obvious due to his own discomfort.
She was not obvious! ...Okay, she was. But he was just so cute, and his foreign accent was novel, and they had lunch together (well, as a group), so was it so wrong to continue thinking about him? There was already a baseline level of familiarity. But with Haruka leaving… No, she was likely trying to get him friendly with her friends to ensure he didn't feel lonely once she left. And he would totally be welcome to continue eating lunch with them. Forever. Or maybe just her.
There were few things capable of getting her mind off of the new student, but spotting a poster for the Cooking Club hung up on the bulletin board was one of them.
She paused, mid-step, and stared at the colorful paper. Someone had drawn little frying pans and rice balls along the outer edge. It advertised the club with a generic sort of description, claimed to need new members, and met Wednesdays and Saturdays.
She nearly stole the entire poster in her sudden excitement. A Cooking Club! Of course they have one, this isn't a small school, she thought as she copied down the information into her planner. This is just what I need! It keeps Tuesdays free for Irkalla, but I need to work on my cooking skills, and— And she knew she needed to make more friends. Not that she disliked her current ones, the opposite, but it would be nice to talk to schoolmates who didn't make magical girl jokes.
She needed to get out of the house more, and until her father let her finally get a part-time job again, a club would have to do. Two birds with one stone.
Or more like three, she mused and grinned at her planner. It was even a Wednesday, so she could just see about introducing herself and joining that very day! It wasn't like she still wouldn't beat her father home, and studying wouldn't take that much extra time.
"Hisako-chan! Not used to seeing you grinning like Suzuka on sugar!" She jumped when she felt arms around her shoulders. Haruka set her chin on top of her head and looked down at the poster. "Oh, right, you haven't joined a club yet, huh? Even though you could still totally get on the baseball team. Just saying."
"I'm not really cut out for sports. Plus, I like cooking," she replied, smile a little more strained. She carefully ducked out of the black-haired girl's grasp, and then froze up once more when she saw she wasn't alone. Mathias smiled pleasantly and gave her a little wave. She jerked her hand in a way that might have been a wave back.
"Clubs around here accept new members pretty much whenever, so I hope you're not worried about them shutting you out?" Haruka asked as she cocked her head.
"Um, no. This is just the first I've heard of the Cooking Club," Hisako replied. She wasn't sure if she wanted to stare at Mathias or stare at everything but him. She settled with a nervous sort of flicker between him and Haruka. "D-Did you two need something?" 'Where's Suzuka' was on the tip of her tongue, but she reigned it back in.
"Well, y'see, I actually had something come up with Suzuka, and Matt needs a tour guide for the school. Interested?" Haruka asked with a sly smile.
They set me up! True, it didn't take a genius to figure out Haruka and Suzuka worked together in ninety percent of the things they did, but she hadn't counted on getting double-teamed by them when it came to Mathias. Then again, she and Suzuka had spoken about him the day before, and it made sense the two went home just to go through an Irkalla recap…
"I." Hisako looked between the two again. Cooking Club, use that as an excuse! Her inner voice of self-preservation sounded an awful lot like Octavia. That was worrying. Wait, why do you need an excuse to get away from him?! You want to talk to him! Somewhat predictably, her voice of going-for-it sounded like Atticus. "Uh, I. Um."
"You have to know the school well enough by now. Just a tour! I've already given him one, so think of it as a walk with a pre-picked conversation topic," Haruka pressed.
That doesn't make me want to say yes, Hisako thought and glanced over at Mathias again. He seemed to be reading the bulletin board, though she would bet Inanna he was still listening. "Um, alright then. And I do know the school by now," she couldn't resist telling her.
"Perfect! Now then." Haruka turned and said something in quick English, too fast for Hisako to fully grasp. Hopefully something about the school and absolutely nothing else. The pigtailed girl spun back to Hisako with a beam. "Have fun, you two! I'll probably beat him home, and he knows how to get there, but hey, if you two wanna have a sleepover or something, just call and let me know, okay?"
"W-We would not!" she said with a furious blush—and then promptly imagined such a thing. Bad Hisako! At least her mind-Octavia was consistent.
Haruka was already halfway to the doors. Other students milled around, but most of their classmates were gone for the day, and Hisako became suddenly, intensely aware that she and Mathias Poirier were effectively alone. Her heart thudded nearly painfully in her chest.
"Thank you for the tour," he said cheerfully, head cocked a little bit to the side as he smiled. The effect was similar to that of a puppy, especially mixed in with the floppy blond hair and eager expression. She forced herself to look back at the bulletin board to prevent herself from melting into a pile of goo. Or worse: pull a Yuri and blurt out something awful.
"I-I haven't even given you it yet," she mumbled and looked back and forth down the hallway. "Um, I suppose… Let's start in this direction?" She knew the school well enough (mostly), but she hadn't thought she'd be giving tours anytime soon. She had to wonder if it had been Haruka's idea, or if Suzuka even knew about it.
"You are new to the school too, right?" he asked, falling into step beside her.
She had to remind herself not to crack a smile every time she remembered that he was talking to her. "Yes, I moved to the city at the beginning of April. Here's one of our staircases here on this end, and these doors lead outside to the sports fields. Do you, um, do any sports things?" ...Sports things? Oh, way to sound super cool there, she mentally groaned.
"Not really, I am a student by heart. At heart? That one. Sorry, it has been difficult switching to another language all the time. Even at home it was half," he said with a grimace. Hisako told herself she didn't find it cute how his nose wrinkled just a little. She had it way too bad.
"Half what?"
"Half English, half French. Or, um, français québécois, ou joual?" He chuckled at some joke that was lost on her. She must have been staring—in her defense, her (incredibly cute) crush had just started speaking French to her—because he quickly explained himself. "I came from Montréal, and in Québec, French is the official language. There is plenty of English, and at home that is what my family speaks, unless my grandfather is visiting, then we speak Japanese."
"...How many languages do you speak?" Hisako asked, stunned.
"Just three. Although I know a bit of casual Farsi."
Just a bit of casual Farsi, right. She barely knew what it was. Wasn't it related to Arabic? "Y-You must be pretty smart, huh?" she asked, trying not to feel too intimidated. It made sense that he'd be a good student, but she hadn't expected three and a half languages under a classmate's belt.
"I don't know. I guess I am just—wait, that doesn't translate."
"Do you switch languages in the middles of sentences often?"
"It seems to be a growing bad habit," Mathias admitted with a sigh. "I am sorry, normally I am a better talker. Speaker."
"You're much better than I am with English! And I don't know any French at all, or any other languages!" she hastened to comfort him.
"...Would you say something in English for me?"
She really wished she hadn't blushed at such an innocuous request. "I'm, um, not very good…" Hadn't she just said that? But he was positively pouting at her, and she could not believe how expressive he was, much less how effective it was on her. Quickly pointing down the hallway, she managed to exclaim in English, "That is the library!"
His face lit up in a way that ought to have been illegal. "That was not bad! Better than my Japanese—"
"Definitely not," she interjected.
"It was not as bad as you thought, eh?"
"It must be difficult for you, but please stick with Japanese with me. You speak far better than I do and I'd like to avoid further embarrassment."
"Embarrassment? No, but it was cute."
She had to have blushed up to the roots of her hair. Mathias was a good sport about her awkwardness, even throughout the rest of the tour, understanding to the point of suspicious.
If even he knows about my crush… She couldn't continue the thought. As much as she regretted leaving him, she bowed out as soon as the tour was done. Crushes were confusing. She had been happy to spend time with him, but she was hypersensitive to everything while around him, and that wasn't fun.
Predictably, she hardly got any studying done that night.
-.-.-
Saturday, May 24th, 2014
…
"Haruka Watanabe, you are not allowed to leave this country until you tell me whether or not you told him about my crush!" Hisako threatened past the lump in her throat.
"You're not allowed to leave this country at all!" Suzuka exclaimed. "We're a team! We're supposed to stick together!"
"We can still be a team, but this exchange program sort of predated our little magical girl squad," Haruka replied with half a grin. She carefully pried Suzuka off of her and tried to pass her off onto anyone else, yet again, and it didn't work that time, either.
"Teams who skip class together, stay together," Yuri said. He had his hands jammed in his pockets and looked severely uncomfortable with all of the hugging and sad faces.
"Fujihara and I were excused," Mika replied archly.
"What? I didn't know we could get excused for this!"
"Hey, it just means that much more that you came," Haruka said, smile brightening. "Didn't know you cared that much."
"Yeah, well, apparently I do," he grumbled with a shrug.
"Sakuraba, stop messing with her bags." Suzuka froze under Mika's glare. "No sabotage allowed."
"It's not sabotage. I'm small, I could totally fit in this!" She gestured to the largest of the luggage.
"I thought I wasn't leaving you," Haruka pointed out.
"I'm not against going on a trip."
"Just stop messing around with her bags, at least. The last thing we want to do is make her late because she needs to repack something," Mika said and pulled Suzuka away from it. The shorter girl ducked out from her grasp and leapt at Haruka, clinging bodily to her. Mika and Yuri sighed in unison.
"You can't leave," Suzuka said into her shirt.
"Not until you tell me whether or not you told him," Hisako added.
"It's a mystery," Haruka sang. "Ask him yourself if you're so curious."
"She told him!" Suzuka exclaimed traitorously. "Now help me keep her here for punishment!"
"You did?!"
"I thought we were supposed to be saying goodbye," Mika reminded them with a cough.
"No one's leaving!" Suzuka cried.
Haruka sighed, smile slipping for the first time. "Suzuka…" she began.
"I know, I know." She tightened her hug but dropped the theatrics. "It just seemed like this snuck up on me. Especially with you and Mika-chan figuring out the Irkalla stuff—"
"You told them," Hisako and Yuri deadpanned together.
"And then the new kid got here, and then we were busy being distracted by all that, and now, it's here. You're leaving now. ...You're leaving."
"It's not like I'm never returning. It's just a year. Plus, it's their summer break right now, so I'll be sending you emails and pictures all the time. Matt talked all the time about how pretty the city is, so I'll send you so many pictures of it that you'll think you're there with me."
"This is a great opportunity, to travel and to learn. She's lucky to be going," Mika said gently.
"And it's not like we have to worry about her there. Canada doesn't have any crime, and any evil goddesses won't be able to reach her that far away," Yuri said. Hisako and Mika glared at him for bringing that up again.
"But you lot!" Haruka exclaimed in a too-loud voice. "You'll be fighting monsters without me! So why are you so worried about me?"
"That's what I was trying to say," he muttered.
"Next time, spare us," Mika said curtly.
"I expect prompt video chats every Tuesday to make sure you're all still in one piece! Don't take any unnecessary risks!"
"We'll be fine! Personas, remember?" Suzuka chimed in.
"And we're a team, whether or not we're together or not. We'll keep in touch and tell you everything," Hisako added. "Just so long as you don't turn around and tell Mathias-san anything else that's unnecessary."
"I'm not the one you have to worry about spilling secrets," Haruka said flatly. With Yuri and Suzuka on the team, she supposed that was a fair point, but she had started it with Mathias and secrets.
"We'll be fine. All of us," Mika said. Beside her, Yuri nodded in agreement. "And we'll all miss you, too." With another roll of his eyes, he nodded to that one, too.
"We'll miss you t-too much!" Suzuka declared.
"Oh come on, I don't want to get teary eyed." Setting her fists on her hips, Haruka tilted back her head, blinking rapidly. Without looking at them, she said, "Technology today is something special, so we'll be able to keep in touch super easy. And hey, I won't say no to some sort of magical visit, if you can swing it."
"I don't think that's how it'll work out," Hisako hastily cut in. "The Velvet Room isn't a travel service."
"Worth a shot. Let me know if that does work out, though, 'kay?"
"You'll be the first to know."
"...Do you really have to leave?" Suzuka asked pathetically.
"Just—c'mere." The tears finally began in earnest. Haruka demanded hugs from each of them, then one last team hug, and throughout it all, never let go of Suzuka. Hisako kept wiping at her eyes and she caught Mika covertly do the same more than once. Yuri continued to look uncomfortable. But Suzuka was truly crying, nearly sobbing, and Haruka wasn't much better.
They eventually left them like that. Haruka would be getting a ride to the airport from her family, and apparently, Suzuka had already talked her way into that, too. It felt strangely final to walk away from her house like that, and the heavy atmosphere stayed with them.
"Was I the only one expecting them to kiss goodbye?" Yuri asked. Mika smacked him on the arm and Hisako struggled to figure out whether to cry or laugh at his inappropriate joke.
"You perverted pig, can't you pretend to be normal for five minutes?" Mika spat.
"I don't see how wondering if their big show was going to turn into something even more awkward is perverted."
"Wondering whether or not their friendship was romantic is perverted."
"They're allowed to do what they like with their personal lives."
"But you don't have to wonder about it! Especially after we've just said goodbye to Watanabe for the next year. Does that even process with you?" Mika demanded, smacking him again. Yuri scowled at her and rubbed his arm. "We'll be third years before we see her in person again."
"But you said so yourself, great opportunity and all that. Plus, she'll be safer this way. We don't have to worry about her being targeted."
"We can still miss her! And however we like, without your nosiness and dirty thoughts!"
"Can we all just take a moment to quietly reflect on things?" Hisako pleaded. The pair huffed and glared in opposite directions for the rest of the trip back to school.
They arrived just before the break for lunch, and Yuri was reprimanded for skipping, even though Hisako (and a begrudging Mika) vouched for where he'd been. At lunch, Mathias still came to sit with them, although his presence only made it more obvious Haruka and Suzuka were both gone.
"How did the goodbye go?" he asked in concern. "I wanted to go, too, but I am not allowed to miss many days. She seemed nervous last night."
"There were about as many tears as you'd expect. Put on as big of a show as usual," Yuri replied while the girls stared sadly into their meals.
"I hope the flight is okay for her. She said it was her first time overseas."
They fell silent. Mika picked at her food, avoiding looking at Yuri with all her might. Mathias kept staring out the window and missing his mouth when he'd try to take a bite. Hisako, for her part, wondered if Suzuka would be back to school, and if so, what sort of state she'd be in. Losing her best friend for the next year couldn't be an easy thing to process.
And she told him about the crush, she thought sourly. Not that she really blamed Haruka. But a little warning would have been nice.
"Are you really staying at her house?" Yuri asked suddenly. Hisako winced, but at least it hadn't been embarrassing.
"Yes, why?" Mathias replied with a blink.
"What's it like, living with a high school girl?"
There was a thump under the table and he jerked with a curse. Mika looked especially innocent as he rubbed his injured shin.
"Are you jealous?" Mathias asked, politely ignoring the warzone. "I can assure you, you are not her type."
"He's not jealous, he's just a jerk," Mika said primly.
"I just don't see how you can put up with them, current company as an example."
"That's a little rude to Hisako-san," he said and she felt a little thrill in her heart.
"Oh, not this again," Yuri groaned. "If you'll excuse me, I'm returning to the Art room for my meals. Lower risk of injury and vomiting at sappiness."
Watching him leave curiously, the blond boy asked, "He's a little love-shy, isn't he?"
Hisako opened her mouth to respond, but to her surprise, Mika beat her to it. "Yes, he is," she grumpily replied.
"Is that what is wrong with you two? Do you like him?" he pressed. Hisako wished she would've warned him, although she was astonished he even had the courage to walk right into that minefield on his own. He'd had the past week to see how they acted around each other!
So it floored her when Mika replied in that same gruff tone, "Yes, I suppose I do."
It was hardly attractive when she choked on her drink and dribbled it down her front, but she could not believe the honey-haired girl had just said that. "Wh-What?" she coughed, recovering slightly. "Since when?"
"Ooh, new gossip," Mathias said eagerly and scooted his chair over closer—to Hisako, but his closeness came secondary to the other girl's shocking frankness.
"We've been arguing less and less, and doesn't that imply some growing level of tolerance?"
"That was arguing less?" Hisako asked suspiciously.
"I'm not feeling the urge to throw paint on him lately."
"What are you feeling?" Mathias asked.
"Hmm." She set her chin in her hand and frowned, thoughtfully. "I'm impressed at his part in—" Eyes going wide, she cut herself short, and Hisako realized what she was going to say. With pink cheeks, she quickly amended, "I'm just impressed at how he's seem to grown lately. He's acting more mature in some ways. A-And I've come to terms with some things that happened between us in the past, I think, so…"
"Sounds like a lot of confused feelings," Mathias said and nodded sagely. "It should be something you discuss yourselves, if you are able to."
"Do you think I like him, then?" Mika asked seriously.
"I think you should only think that if you are comfortable, otherwise there is no rush. I will not tell him anything if you don't," he replied cheerily.
"Thank you. I will think on your words. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go talk to Mr. Akiyama about Sakuraba's absence, and to prevent embarrassing myself further." With a shy but grateful smile, Mika left them alone—and then that sunk in. Hisako was alone with Mathias, again.
But she didn't feel as nervous compared to before. Sure, she still felt Haruka and Suzuka's absences, and she was still reeling a little from Mika's sudden confession, but something else eclipsed those feelings: the gladness she felt that in Mathias, she had just met another person willing to talk out problems. She felt, absurdly, like wanting to high-five him.
In lieu of that, there was a bright flash of light and a deep, but feminine, voice ringing in her head. She managed to mask her flinch as a cough. Sure enough, as she slid into her seat for afternoon classes, she found a new tarot card in her pocket.
-.-.-
Knowledge: level 2/5 (+2)
-Average
Confidence: level 3/5 (+0)
-Stubborn
Charm: level 1/5 (+2)
-Awkward
Empathy: level 2/5 (+0)
-Sensitive
Hisako Fujihara's Painter social link has ranked up! The Magician arcana has reached rank 3.
"Thou art I... And I am thou... Thou hast established a genuine bond..."
Hisako Fujihara has established the Linguist social link of the Lovers arcana!