Disney/ Buena Vista and Meg Cabot own the rights. No copyright infringement is intended and I make no profit from this.

Chapter 11

With December came winter. The earlier chill rain had finally let up and there was the crisp scent of coming snow in the air as the temperature dropped. Having spent much of the morning in a meeting with several members of Parliament, and then attending a Christmas reception for government employees that afternoon in Pyrus, they were glad to be back at the palace. Following a simple meal of hot soup, a salad, and fresh bread, Clarisse and Joseph had retired to their apartment. Now, in her softest, most comfortable nightgown, she was snuggled up next to him on the bed, sipping a glass of wine.

Joseph knew she needed to unwind, so he was letting her talk about whatever crossed her mind. He was certain something was causing her a great deal of concern. He had seen Clarisse under many different circumstances: worried, angry, discouraged, and even distraught, but this silent apprehensiveness about her during the past few weeks was different, and he was unsure what was causing it.

What it their home? Now, nearing the end of the first week of December, it had been a little a month since he had purchased Stone Manor and work had already begun on its renovations. Clarisse seemed delighted with her decision; she had spent hours going over photographs and to-scale drawings of the house's rooms planning renovations and their new home's décor. To his surprise, and appreciation, she consulted with him on the options they had. In general, they had agreed to furnish their home with antiques and pieces suitable to the home's period and style, and he had given her a free hand.

Even though he had no reservations about moving in while major work was in progress, Clarisse was reluctant to have workmen underfoot daily. He understood and had agreed to stay at the palace for at least the month of January. This would also give Clarisse an opportunity to be close to Mia during the weeks following the coronation, which she desired. She was pleased with this arrangement, so he doubted Stone Manor was troubling her.

There were also important issues being debated with the Genovian Parliament, as well as delicate matters pending between Genovia and its European neighbors that she had spent many days working toward solving. Several were pressing and of great importance, but no differences were large enough to jeopardize a resolution, in Joseph's opinion. He felt sure Parliament would find agreement and that the upcoming trade talks in Zurich between the countries would iron out any last unresolved points.

Further from home, Clarisse and Stefan had launched a new and aggressive legal attack against the Duke of Thornfield, about whom rumors of poor health continued to spread. Apparently, Gustav was not as enthusiastic in pursuing Addington as he was before and had gone back on his word, refusing to join their latest lawsuit. Gustav's decision angered Clarisse particularly since Gustav refused to answer why. While this caused her concern on both a professional and personal level, Joseph did not think this was it. Clarisse did not hesitate to express her opinion on this subject, and he knew she planned to press forward with the legal battle.

No, it was more likely her concern for her granddaughter. In the past weeks, Clarisse had finally given more responsibility to Mia, but he could see she fretted over each duty, even though she did not say so. Was she concerned that Mia did not have the skills to handle the position and that the country would suffer? Parliament worked very closely with Genovia's monarch, and Joseph felt that they would be watchful when Mia assumed the crown. Sebastian Motaz was well qualified for his post as Prime Minister, and would step in whenever the country's best interest was not being considered. But, perhaps Clarisse worried both Parliament and Motaz would be too quick to criticize or censure Mia.

Was Clarisse still worried that her granddaughter would have neither the support nor the respect of her people? Events of the past summer did not speak highly of Mia's judgment, it could easily be argued, and no one would accept imprudence of youth as an excuse for her decisions in the years to come as queen. He knew how much the Genovian people's respect and devotion meant to Clarisse and how dear they were to her heart.

These last concerns, he decided, must be what were bothering her. But, try as he might, he could not think of a way to comfort his wife. Eventually, Mia would have to find her own way, and there was nothing Clarisse could do.

Shifting in his arms, Clarisse reached for her glass, bringing him back from his thoughts, and Joseph realized he had not been paying attention to what she was saying. He turned his full consideration to his wife.

"And, it was one of my worst moments- I was extremely frightened." She took two sips of wine before setting the goblet back on the table beside the bed.

"Your were frightened? When?" he asked, running his fingers along the smooth skin of her cheek.

"Several years ago- in Brussels," she murmured, relaxing further against him. He murmured something she took as encouragement and continued. "It was at an economic summit held in the Palais de Nations."

"Really? At the Palais?" he asked, nonchalantly. "Tell me about it, my dear."

"Somehow, and I'm still not certain just how," she began, ignoring his feather-light touch. It was something she wanted to share with him, perhaps because she felt so safe in his arms. "I found myself in the midst of an…well, it was a terrorist attack."

Had Clarisse been able to see his face, she would have seen a look of surprised recognition cross it. His hand stilled for a moment, then continued to her arm. "How very unpleasant for you. Go on, my love."

"Oh, yes. It was a terrible experience." Clarisse shuddered at the memory. "One I wish never repeated."

"I can only imagine," Joseph agreed, recalling his own experience that night in Brussels.

"I had gone into the main hall for a cup of tea then suddenly the lights went out and there was an explosion and-"

"An explosion?" He kissed her hair. "In the Palais? Who would have done such a thing?"

"Yes! Then someone grabbed me in the dark and….well, this is very embarrassing."

"How could it possibly be embarrassing?" he asked, touching his lips to her neck.

"Well, as it happened, the man was only trying to get me to safety."

Joseph shrugged. "Nothing embarrassing about that, my sweet…unless you fought him tooth and nail like a frenzied wildcat."

Clarisse sighed. "I'm afraid I did."

"You resisted his help?"

"I didn't know! I thought he was trying to hurt me," she explained. She twisted the lace edge of the coverlet. "I'm afraid I clawed his face- I think I broke his nose-"

"Probably not."

"…and kicked him."

Joseph whistled softly. "I see. Well, just as long as you didn't damage anything vital."

"I'm afraid I did," Clarisse admitted awkwardly. She sat up, her voice dropping to a whisper. "I kicked him…there."

Joseph winced. "My dear Clarisse! There?"

She nodded, unable to look at him. "Yes- as hard as I could."

Joseph sucked in his breath at the memory. Her voice filled with misery, Clarisse rushed on. "I wanted to tell him how so very sorry I was, but couldn't because they hurried me away and wouldn't tell me his name or anything about him except that he was an agent working with Interpol. I'm sure it hurt him terribly-"

"I'm sure it did," Joseph remarked dryly.

"-but despite that, he didn't hurt me in return or let me go," she continued quickly.

"I can't blame him," Joseph murmured, pulling her close to him again. "I wouldn't want to let you go, either."

Clarisse settled back against him, still distressed. She sighed. "I just wish I could have apologized."

"So, you didn't see him again?" He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his chest. "My love, did you have thoughts of your rescuer during the weeks following?"

"Well, yes, I did." she answered wistfully, recalling daydreams about the mysterious man and his strong body pressed close to hers. Guiltily, she hurried to add, "I regretted very much not being able to make amends. I can't imagine what he thought of me."

"I certainly can," he murmured under his breath. Brushing her gown to the side, he kissed her smooth, white shoulder. "Did he manage to say anything to you, my dear- in between your doing your best to maim him?"

"A few words. I'm afraid I didn't heed them." She shrugged. "For the most part, he was trying to get me to calm down."

"I bet I can guess what they were," Joseph said.

"Doubtful," she replied, shaking her head.

Joseph leaned very close and whispered in her ear. "Policia…polizia…police…"

Clarisse twisted around to look at him. "Joseph, how did you…" Her eyes widened and a flood of memories came to her…the man's scent, his indefinable accent, the strength of his arms as he held her.

"That was you?"

"Yes, and I thought of you daily for quite some time afterwards," he said matter-of-factly.

"You thought of me?"

"Every time I sat or coughed or-"

"Oh, Joseph!"

He gave a mock sigh. "It's true, my love, and my men never let me forget how I was thoroughly worked over by an elegant lady in high heels and a skirt."

"I am so very sorry!" Clarisse moaned. "To think that I-"

Joseph shushed her with a quick kiss. "I must admit, I thought of you for other reasons, too, my love." Gently, he eased her down on the mattress and leaned over her, his mouth just above hers. "Now, Your Majesty, about making amends…"

It seemed Joseph was not the only one noticing the tension in Clarisse. Mia had come to him asking questions about her grandmother, and he had brushed them aside saying it was simply the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and excitement of her coming coronation in three short weeks that had Clarisse distracted. To Joseph's relief Mia accepted his explanation. He could hardly voice his suspicions that Clarisse did not have confidence in Mia's ability to rule.

Deciding her grandmother needed to get away from the palace, Mia convinced Clarisse to go shopping. So, the two of them, accompanied by Shade and his staff, were in Pyrus for the morning. Perhaps it was what Clarisse needed- to get away.

The palace was quiet and Joseph was catching up on work at a small desk in their apartment. Although Clarisse had offered him what had been Rupert's office, Joseph had chosen not to accept it. He did not merit an official office and did not want to give the impression he was involved in state affairs. Also, he did not want her to think he was settling in for a long duration; the sooner he and Clarisse moved to their own home, the better.

"Sir, your mail has arrived," Cates said. His tread was soft and nearly noiseless. He placed a packet of various-sized envelopes on the desk, along with two small packages.

"Thank you," Joseph replied, giving the boxes a quick glance to see who sent them. He was expecting samples of a new surveillance software. He and Chesterson had agreed to not schedule any new clients for the holidays, so only a trip to Monaco just before Christmas remained.

"Mr. Hollis called earlier while you were on the phone, sir, and asked me to inform you that the new heating unit will be installed at Stone Manor the first week of January," Cates said, placing the memo neatly on top the stack of letters. "Additionally, sir, Shades has sent word that Princess Mia and Her Majesty plan to dine at the Golden Pear Hotel and will be home later this afternoon."

Joseph smiled. "I wish I knew how to get Her Majesty to just drop everything for a day," he said, thinking back to San Francisco many years ago. "Mia seems to have the knack for it."

"Indeed, she does. A remarkable young woman, if I may say so, sir," Cates agreed. "Mrs. Cates asks if there is anything in particular you would like for luncheon."

"Is there more venison stew left? It was excellent."

Cates beamed with pride. "I shall inquire. That is one of Mrs. Cates' best dishes, sir, and it is a particular favorite of mine."

"You're a lucky man, Cates," Joseph said. In a fit of domesticity, Clarisse had tried to make him an asparagus and mushroom omelet one night the previous week; neither had mentioned the incident since.

"Without a doubt, we both are," Cates agreed gravely.

Joseph asked him to take a seat and, after a bit of encouragement, the butler did. "What are your plans for the future?" Joseph asked.

"My wife and I have agreed to stay for a short while before retiring, to help the princess transition her staff. After retiring…well, sir, I plan to catch as many trout as I can," Cates replied, allowing himself the liberty of grinning broadly.

Joseph laughed. "A very commendable plan."

"I'm looking forward to it- not that working at the palace for Her Majesty hasn't been gratifying, sir," he hastily added. Cates lowered his voice. "To be honest, I fear Mrs. Cates will feel lost without her kitchen and responsibilities. It has me somewhat worried."

"I see." Joseph rubbed his jaw, considering. "Cates, you are aware that Clarisse and I are moving to Stone Manor…eventually."

"I fine idea, sir," Cates replied.

"Frankly, we are in an difficult situation," Joseph continued. "We do not want a large staff, yet we will certainly need help." Without thinking he laid his hand on his stomach and frowned.

"Er, yes, sir. I understand," Cates said, trying to hold back a laugh. Joseph looked at him and he quickly schooled his expression to one of sympathy. "I heard about Her Majesty's evening in the kitchen."

"Exactly. Anyway, other than outside staff to take care of Clarisse's horses and an estate manager for the grounds, we will need someone to come in and clean, do the laundry- things of that sort. As for the cooking, simple meals would suffice. If there are larger dinners, we would have caterers handle them."

Cates looked into the distance, thinking. "I would say, sir, that two dailies to do the housework and laundry, along with supplemental help for seasonal decorating or more thorough cleaning, would suffice. As for the kitchen, one cook may be adequate, providing the grocers can make regular delivery of supplies."

"Although it would not involve much time or effort," Joseph added, "we would also need someone to oversee the daily running of the house."

Cates smiled; that was his position at the palace. "Of course, sir."

"Most importantly, we do not wish to have strangers in our home. If you and Mrs. Cates are interested, we would be pleased to have you accompany us to Stone Manor," Joseph offered. He waited, allowing the butler to get over his surprise. "Both of you would have any help you think necessary. We do not want either of you to work long hours or be unable to make plans of your own."

"This is quite a surprise, sir," Cates said, taking a deep breath. "I should have to discuss your offer with my wife."

"Of course. Not that I would want to influence you unduly," Joseph said, slowly, "but there's a fully furnished cottage for you within a ten minute's walk of a stocked creek."

"Trout, sir?" Cates asked hopefully.

Joseph nodded. "Big ones, I've been told."

Ten minutes later, Cates grabbed his wife from behind, pulling her away from the casserole she was putting together for the evening meal. "Gerta, forget moving in with your sister," he exclaimed, swinging her around to face him. He gave her a big kiss that made her squeal. "The queen and Joseph need us!"

With a frown, Anton watched his queen standing quietly before King Rupert's tomb. Shortly after four o'clock, she had called him to her office and requested he bring her to the cemetery saying she wished to lay fresh flowers on Rupert's and Philip's graves. Had he known it was going to be more than just a few minutes' visit, he would have brought another agent to keep the car running and warm. She had been there, in the cold, for nearly twenty-five minutes. He glanced skyward; the light snow had begun fifteen minutes ago and promised to get heavier.

In the short days of December, a little less than two weeks before Christmas, the sky was already getting dark. Ten minutes earlier, he had approached the queen, asking if she were ready to leave; her only response was to shake her head. While he had the right and the responsibility to physically remove the queen from dangerous circumstances, he was uncertain if this situation would qualify. Should he drag her bodily to the limo against her will, the queen might not agree or understand. Calling the security office to let Shades know, his boss told him someone was on the way. He checked his watch and hoped his help arrived soon.

With classes starting the second week of January, he had only a few more weeks at the palace. He would stay for Princess Mia's coronation, wanting to see that affair through, and then leave the following morning, going directly to London. Neither he nor Cassie Addington wanted to endure two years apart while he finished his graduate studies, so they planned move in together. Between what he had saved and her income from the two sisters' design studio, which was doing very well, they would be able to get by. In addition, when his schedule permitted, he would find security work to bring in extra money. They would manage somehow.

He had met her aunt and uncle, the Duke and Duchess, Everett and Margaret Howe, over dinner at their spacious home on London's outskirts. They were very cordial, particularly when they learned he worked for Queen Clarisse. In a roundabout way they had asked several personal questions about Joseph, something he found odd. Was his former boss known that far and wide?

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he tried to get the blood flowing to his toes; his feet were going numb. A gust of wind sent icy flakes swirling crazily over the barren graveyard, and Queen Clarisse hunched forward a little and raised a gloved hand to her face. Anton swore under his breath. Despite her woolen slacks, sweater, and heavy coat, the queen had to be freezing. He was going to insist she leave, come what may. Taking a step forward, he heard the heavy gate behind him open- it was Joseph. He breathed a sigh of relief.

With a nod to Anton, Joseph strode down the paved walk to the dark granite obelisk marking the king's grave. Her head bowed, Clarisse stood there, clutching a bouquet. A similar one lay on the smooth stone of Philip's tomb. Her shoulders rose and shook. Quickly, he moved to her side.

"Clarisse?" he asked softly, reaching to take her arm. She raised her head to look at him, and he saw her eyes were reddened. Her cheeks wet and pale, she tried to speak. Gently, he took the bouquet from her hand and placed it below Rupert's marker, and then slipped his coat off and placed it around her shoulders. Firmly, he led her away, hurrying her to the waiting car.

Joseph pulled her into his arms as the car sped away, grateful that Shades had raised the partition and had the heat on full. By the time they reached the palace, Clarisse was calmer and had stopped shaking. Waiting in their apartment was a tray of scones and hot tea, and although she did not want any, Joseph insisted.

Dry-eyed, Clarisse held the steaming cup in her hand. "I'm so sorry I caused anyone to worry," she said quietly. "I should have left when that young man, Anton, I believe…when Anton suggested it."

At the opposite end of the sofa, Joseph leaned against the corner cushions, watching his wife. "Why didn't you?"

Clarisse took a sip of the tea then set it aside. "I was thinking," she answered hesitantly.

Joseph cocked his head slightly to the side. "Must have been about something important." When she did not answer, he continued gently. "Was it about whatever has been bothering you lately?"

Clarisse fingered the pearl buttons of her sweater, not meeting his gaze. "Yes," she whispered. He waited, but she did not continue.

"My dear, is it about Mia becoming queen?" he asked. She nodded her head, still looking away. "That is understandable," he continued gently. "Mia is young, however-"

Abruptly, Clarisse rose and went to stand at the window, her arms folded tightly across her chest. Outside, pools of light showed heavy snow covering her beloved garden's walkways in a blanket of white. "It's not…It is not Mia that worries me," she said, her voice breaking. Joseph went to join her. He touched her arm and she looked at him.

"Clarisse, please tell me what's troubling you," he asked softly. She bit her lip and turned back to the window. "Let me help."

"I…I don't know if I can do it," she whispered, slowly shaking her head. "I just don't think I can."

"Can't do what?" Joseph was at a loss to understand his wife. He waited, knowing nothing else to say in encouragement. Finally, she took a deep breath.

"Oh, Joseph! I don't know if I can give up being queen!" Tears running down her cheeks, she turned to him and he took her in his arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed on his shoulder. "I know I have to, but I don't…I don't want to…"

"My precious love," Joseph crooned, rubbing his hand on her back soothingly. He whispered gentle words as she cried, waiting until the sobs slowed. Pulling his handkerchief from his pocket, he wiped her cheeks dry, and then gave it to her. Gratefully, she took it, doing her best to discreetly blow her nose. With a final wipe, and a few last sniffles, she nodded.

"Thank you," she said, a slight hitch in her voice. Putting his arm around her, he smiled and led her back to sit beside him on the couch.

"Now, my sweet," he said, pulling her close. She lay her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Tell me what this is all about."

Clarisse sighed again. "This is all so silly and embarrassing," she began. Joseph waved away the comment.

"My dear, you are the least silly woman I know," Joseph replied patiently.

"Well, that's the way I feel," she answered.

When she did not continue, he kissed her hair and prompted, "You said you didn't know if you could give up being queen."

"It's all I've ever known- I've been a royal since I was twenty-one years old!" she said, choking back a frustrated sob as she sat up. "My days have revolved around serving the Genovian people, doing what is best for them- it has been my world for forty years, Joseph!"

He caught her hand in his and raised it to his lips. "I'm very glad you did what is best for this loyal subject."

Her expression softened. "So am I," she said, curling her fingers around his. "I think that was the first time I did something wholly for my own benefit."

"A admirable first step," he replied solemnly. "My dear, you are a remarkable woman. I don't think I've ever met anyone as giving as you."

"It was what I was brought up to do," she explained, dismissing his words.

"No, this unselfishness is a mark of who you are- a warm, generous, caring woman," he countered. She blushed at his compliments, but shook her head.

"But, without my position and my people, I'm afraid I'll be lost…and not needed," she said softly. "Other than queen, I don't know who I am…or what else to be."

"You are my wife, my dear, and I'll always need you," he replied, thinking of how alone he had been during his life. "I need you to be my wife."

"But-"

"You are my family and my life, Clarisse, and I have loved you since the first time we met- since that day in the blue room. You are the only reason I stayed," he said. He looked away before continuing. "I've never had a real family. I mentioned it before- that mother and grandmother died when I was young. I did not tell you that my father…he..." He hesitated, and Clarisse gently squeezed his hand. Even though he disliked keeping something so important from her, he found could not bring himself to tell her about Morley Addington. Not now…perhaps never. Instead, he said, "My father wanted nothing to do with me."

"Oh, Joseph!" she whispered softly, leaning against his shoulder. "I didn't know."

"It is the past," he said, with a shrug, to all appearances dismissing the subject. "The present is our life together, and that is what is most important." He kissed the top of her head and smiled.

Turning Clarisse so that she faced him, still in his arms, he continued, his words upbeat. "My dear, while I understand that at times I will have to share the Queen Grandmother with the rest of the country, I must confess I am very much looking forward to having her all to myself." He touched his lips to hers then pulled her onto his lap. "The question is: how shall we keep busy?"

An hour later, sated and sleepy, with her head resting on her husband's chest, Clarisse sighed. "I believe, my dear Joseph, that we shall find plenty to do."

Descending the steps to the waiting car, Clarisse glanced around. This trip to Zurich to join Mia in trade talks with the European Union representatives was her last before Mia took the crown on the second day of the new year, less than two weeks away. Upon her return, she was looking forward to being home until they moved into Stone Manor. After confessing her fears to Joseph the night before, she now felt more comfortable with the coming changes in her life than before. She realized it would be a significant adjustment, but felt sure she would be able to handle it.

"Where is Joseph?" she asked, expecting him to be already at the portico to see her off on her trip. Mia was flying in to Zurich from Paris, where she had spent the weekend with friends; Joseph was not accompanying her today due to meetings with Genovia's civil defense secretary and his own business responsibilities. He would, however, be joining her there in two days.

"He is on his way, ma'am," Charlotte said, handing the queen's briefcase to Shades, who placed it on the back seat of the waiting limousine. A cold gust of wind blew through the covered driveway. "Perhaps Your Majesty would rather wait-" She was cut off by Joseph hurrying through the double doors. He took the steps two at a time.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, my dear. Sebastian called just as I was leaving," Joseph said, crossing to her. He handed her the red rose her was holding and gave her a kiss.

"How lovely," Clarisse exclaimed, inhaling the bloom's sweet scent. She smiled at her husband. "Any particular reason?"

Joseph lifted his shoulder slightly. "Because I can," he answered simply. "I'll see you in two days."

He touched her cheek gently before she got in. He shut the door. Through the dark glass, she knew he could not see her, but he gave her a smile before turning away and walking slowly toward the steps.

Because I can…

Clarisse heard the years of loneliness and frustration behind his words. How many years had he watched silently from the shadows, never able to speak his heart, but daring to hope one day his dream would be fulfilled?

Joseph's admission that he had loved her since the day they met, now over seven years ago, had surprised her. Certainly, while Rupert was alive, Joseph had never given her cause to think he was attracted to her; after Rupert's death, until last spring, she had thought his attentions were that of a close friend. Or, perhaps she had chosen to believe that, not wanting to confront her own feelings. Had she simply trusted her heart…

At the top of the steps, he turned and gave her another smile, lifting his hand then closing it in a fist as he let it fall to his side. She placed her hand against the window, hoping he would see it. Her beloved Joseph. The car started forward.

"Stop!" Clarisse cried, pulling at the door handle. Brakes squealed as the car came to an abrupt halt. She scrambled out, in a most unladylike manner for a queen, and ran to Joseph, flinging herself into his arms.

His left arm around her shoulder, he turned her so that his body shielded hers, and automatically reached for the gun he no longer carried. Forming a protective semi-circle, two guards stepped in front of them, guns at the ready for whatever danger she had seen.

"Oh, Joseph, it will be far too lonely without you!" she exclaimed, snuggling against his shoulder, completely unaware of the commotion she had caused. "All those wasted years because I was afraid to love- I don't want to waste another day."

Two safety catches clicked on as Shades and Hans tucked their weapons away and moved to stand beside the car. They cast a quick glance at the queen and their former boss, then at each other and grinned broadly.

"Shh, my dear," Joseph said, wrapping both his arms around her to hold her close. "There's no need to be upset."

"I don't want to leave you." She put her arms around him and lay her head on his shoulder.

"It's only for two days, my dear," he reasoned, touching his lips to her hair.

Clarisse sighed. Time. There was never enough time. She made her decision.

She pulled away from him slightly, but not far enough away to leave the circle of his arms. "Charlotte, send my regrets," she ordered resolutely. "I will not be going today."

"But, Your Majesty, what shall I tell everyone?"

Smiling at Joseph, she set her shoulders and lifted her chin. "Tell them I will wait and accompany my husband to Zurich. Mia can stand in for me at the meetings. She is, after all, going to be queen." She kissed him quickly before he could say anything, and then took his hand.

"They can wait, but our love can't," she said leading him back into the palace. She had two days with absolutely nothing on her schedule. A twinkle came to her eyes. She wasn't going to waste a single, precious minute of it.

AN: I'm trying to cover all loose ends. If you can think of any other than Joseph's father and family, Shades and Charlotte, Anton and Cassie, Gustav and Ginny...then let me know!