Jack Frost knew what sex was. Sort of.

He had been human after all, and he observed quite a bit during his wanderings, but to say he knew everything, or was well informed on the subject, was stretching it. Jack was just as clueless as any young teen would be. He had seen, heard, and could imagine what it was like, but he himself didn't know. He hadn't experienced it, and he probably never would.

So, when a fourteen year old Jamie Bennett had asked him about sex - him of all people, the winter spirit had gawked at him, open mouthed, and stuttered out some pathetic response. Jack had no earthly clue as to what spluttered out of his mouth. His brain was rattling at a speed he didn't know possible; ideas and thoughts mingled together in a jumbled mess.

Jack had quickly scrambled away from the anxious and waiting teen when Jamie persisted, chuckling nervously under his breath as he darted towards the window. He had tried to tell Jamie that he didn't bother with such things, that he was a winter spirit foremost and the guardian of fun, but Jamie tried to reason that he heard sex was fun, and that if it was fun, then Jack should know. Jack should know.

Jack didn't know.

Inwardly, Jack wanted to know, but he didn't.

His brain sputtered and spazzed again, and Jack reached for the lock on the window, flipping it open despite his current vegetative state. Jamie had asked him something on the lines of where he was going, confusion twisting across the young man's brow, but Jack simply gave another giggle, mumbled something about snow in Russia, and disappeared out the window.

It took Jack no more than an hour, thanks to the southern wind, to touch ground in Bunny's warren. Frost webbed out against the green grass upon contact, and Jack acknowledged the golem nearest to him with a brief wave - its face twisted from an "angry" expression to a "pleasant" one. Even if the frosted child was a bit of a nuisance at times, Jack was a known ally and friend of the Easter Bunny, and the golems always initially offered him a stoney smile.

The brief shift in temperature noted Bunnymund of the winter spirit's arrival, and the Pooka snifted and glanced about, his green eyes darting from the egg he was curently painting to the hillside, waiting for the boy to bound over it at any second. Jack ususally knew where to find him, so there was no point in Bunny going out if his way to hunt him down - Jack knew his Warren about as well as Aster himself.

As predicted, Bunny caught sight of a familiar mop top of white hair as it poked out from behind the hill, and the spirit glided over, touching down once more - the southern wind discarding its cargo with ease and care. Bunny almost had to scoff at how tame the south wind acted around Jack. Usually it was the most brutal and harsh of the four - it dried and parched most everything it touched, and it showed little comfort to those living below the equator. Jack was its only exception. It was different for him, and once the elemental's feet steadied himself against the meadow, the youth raised a hand, twirling his fingers about the air as if petting or playing with the breeze. It was his way of praising the air, and the southern wind gave one final gust before it moved elsewhere, though it remained close enough just in case the sprite called on it again.

"Oi, Jack," Bunny greeted, sliding his paintbrush across the now pink surface of the egg, tinting the edges green. "What brings ya' round' here?" The Pooka tilted his head, one eyebrow raising as he shot the boy a look. Wasn't it suppose to be snowing in Pennsylvania or something?

"Already done forcin' Burgess into an ice age?"

Jack chuckled, kneading his fingers against the back of his neck, seemingly high strung. He wet his lips and smacked them together as the chuckle died down, though the timid grin remained.

"You could say that I guess," He breathed, one foot twisting on on itself as he leaned lazily against his staff.

Bunnymund was used to the horrid posture. It was that slumpy, carefree sort of stance that most teenagers acquired as they hit puberty, and after three hundred and twenty some years, Jack Frost had perfected it. No, Jack's posture was nothing new. It was his actions - the way he smiled, the awkward shuffle of his feet, the jerky hand motions that made the warrior rabbit scrunch his nose, and Aster lowered his paintbrush momentarily.

"Alright Snowflake, what did ya' do?" The Pooka slurred, half expecting to find a tunnel or one of his rivers frozen upon further inspection. It wouldn't be the first time, and Bunny knew it wouldn't be the last.

"What?" Jack squinted, nostrils flaring. "Wha...no! I didn't do anything Bunny. I just, um..." Jack shifted his posture again, restlessly flipping his staff about in his hands. "Well..."

Aster rolled his eyes, snorting in annoyance and anticipation. "Well, what? I'm really not in tha' mood fer guessin' games ta' day Frost." Nobody was hurt, nothing was frozen, so Bunny didn't have the darndest clue as to what had Jack all knotted up. He just didn't have patience for the "ums" and "wells" today.

"Easter ain't but 3 months away, and I got googies ta' take care of."

The winter spirit huffed, his brain bustling to find a proper and less abrasive way of asking Bunny. He really didn't know if he should, but the Pooka had been the first to cross his mind, and oddly enough, Jack just felt comfortable asking him these sorts of things. Sorta.

"Well..." Jack began, glancing up at the sky, avoiding Bunny's gaze. God, this was embarrassing.

Aster sighed, obviously not amused by the hold up. "Seriously kid, spit it out."

Spit it out, sure, he could do that. Jack twirled his staff again and cleared his throat. He opened his mouth, then closed it on second thought - an action that made Bunny roll his eyes again, this time crossing his arms. Regardless of the teen's hesitation, he had to say something now. Bunny was waiting, and if he just smiled, dropped it, and flew off, the Pooka would most likely follow, or ban him from the Warren for a week.

No, Jack had to be a big boy, and big boys talked about sex.

"Is sex fun?" Jack finally blurted, staring the Pooka down as soon as the words left his mouth.

Had Bunny been eating or drinking anything at that moment, it would have been discarded all over the boy's face in utter shock. To say the least, he hadn't expected that. Aster blinked slowly, emerald eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. The paintbrush he had been holding awkwardly dropped against the grass, and Jack made the situation even more awkward by smiling.

"Ehhhhh...what?" Bunny finally slurred, his blinking picking up speed as he finally managed to respond.

Jack exhaled, leaning his head against his staff as he cocked his head. "Is sex fun?" He repeated, voice rising with the question. "Jamie asked me about it...you know, sex, and he said that if it was fun, then I should know. I think he is starting to notice girls now...but I don't know. I don't know what to tell him."

The impish youth raked a hand through his hair and shrugged. "I just thought that you'd know since you said that you've done a lot of twitter...twitter-pating? That it? Twitterpating is sex, right?"

Bunnymund couldn't believe it. The kid was serious. He was asking him, E. Aster Bunnymund - a Pooka for MiM's sake about sex. Human sex. Bunnymund's sexual experiences had been enjoyable, there was no doubt about that, but his were more primal, more animalistic. The term "going at it like rabbits" came about for a reason, but he'd let Jack figure that one out on his own.

Nevertheless, Bunny didn't know what to tell the kid, and honestly, he didn't want to have this conversation. He knew enough about human intercourse - enough to cover the basics, but he definitely didn't feel comfortable enough to enlighten Jack on the subject. It just wasn't his place.

"Jack," He began, slapping a paw against his cheek, "I don' think I can help ya' out, kid'." Bunny's nose twitched at the sudden slump of the youth's shoulders, and Jack eyed him pathetically. "Not this time, at least," Bunny corrected himself. "Yer' human, I ain't. What I know, and what yer' needin' ta' find out are two totally different things."

He tried to approach the subject cautiously. He was trying to let the boy down easy without discouraging him, and Aster could tell by the teen's protruding lower lip that he was failing miserably. Jack was pouting. Bunny grumbled under his breath and hopped over to the white haired wonder's side, placing a heavy paw on the curve of his shoulder.

"Sorry Snowflake, I just can't."

Jack groaned and grunted pathetically, tilting his head back in frustration.

"But Bunny, why?" The spirit bit down on his lower lip, scraping his teeth across his pale lips. "Sex is sex, yeah? All animals do it. I just want to know the basics. I just want to know if it's fun or not, cause if it is, I need to know."

If sex was fun, then Jack figured it to be his duty to know. He was the Guardian of Fun after all, and a guardian needed to specialize in every aspect of his or her purpose. Fun was his purpose, and well... he just needed to know. He needed to be able to give Jamie an answer; hell, he wanted a bloody answer himself.

The Pooka shook his head and chuckled, whiskers twitching as his lips pulled back to reveal a toothy smile.

"I wish it was that simple kid, I really do. It ain't though, sorry. Each creature; human, Pooka, dog, fish - they all do it differenty. I don' know enough bout you humans ta' give you a plausible answer."

"I want to know though, Bunny. I do. I should know," Jack insisted, popping his knuckles against his staff.

"Yea, ya' should. Definitely. Yer' bloody, what...three hundred and twenty some years old now? Yer way past due fer a little birds and tha' bees chit chat, thats fer' sure," Bunny mused, placing a paw against the curve of the sprite's lower back, guiding him over the hillside. "Which is why ya' should go see North bout' it. He was human too, ya' know. So was Tooth, but its best ya' talk ta' North bout it, kay?"

Jack was compliant. He allowed himself to be pushed towards the tunnels, stumbling only twice when Aster tried to hurry him along. His pout was ever present though, and Jack made low, guttural, whining noises of protest, even when he didn't physically make a move to pull away from the Pooka. It was because he knew Bunny was right. He didn't like acknowledging the fact that the rabbit was right - he would have preferred to have the conversation with Bunny rather then North, but Bunny did have a point. North was human. Both he and Jack were of human heritage - of humble mortal beginnings. North would know.

If North didn't know, he was shit out of luck.

"What if North doesn't know?" Jack asked, blue eyes widening - pupils growing thin.

Bunny snorted. "He'll know Snowflake, don't worry bout' dat." He patted the youth's shoulder, nodding in confirmation. "North has had a lot of...well..." the Pooka scrunched his nose, lips pursing. "I'll just let em' tell ya'. Like I said, don' worry."

Aster pushed Jack gently towards one of his tunnels, smiling reassuringly, though deep down the six foot one rabbit couldn't wait to have this God awful conversation behind him. God, he felt ridiculous. Thankfully, Jack didn't seem as though he was all bent out of shape anymore - just maybe a little disappointed and frustrated. North could handle it. Jack would get his answers, and knowing North, the Cossack would most likely tell Jack a little more than what the teen had originally bargained for. Ah well.

"Hey, Bunny?"

"Hmmm?"

Jack looked back over his shoulder as he stepped towards the tunnel, the southern wind already shrouding the boy. "Just answer this, please..."

The Pooka tilted his head, ears erect. "What?"

"Did you enjoy sex? Was it fun for you?"

Okay, so maybe that was a little too personal, but Aster sighed and smirked, giving Jack a hooded look as sprite coaxed the wind with his fingers, already beginning to hover a few inches above the ground.

"You bet'cha powder puff." Bunny wiggled his eyebrows, hinting.

His response roused the reaction he had hoped for from the child, and Jack grinned, cheeks rising, giving way to dimples. The winter spirit winked as the wind jolted him upwards, and Jack soon disappeared, leaving the brief echo of a giggle behind him, as well as a few signature snowflakes - snowflakes that would melt as soon as the air in the Warren reverted back to its original temperature.

North could've killed Bunny. He wanted to down right shave the Pooka clean and turn him into a nice little throw rug. Of all the ridiculous things to do, he had to send an immortal virgin his way who wanted to know about sex.

Per usual, Jack had let himself in from the lobby window. Usually, the wind that carried Jack would have been bitterly cold; however, the hint of warmth in the usually nippy breeze hinted that the southern wind had in fact carried Jack most of the way before tossing him over to his northern brother. The winds would mix for a brief moment, greeting each other in passing as Jack "hopped ship," and the warmer zephyr of the southern wind lingered momentarily as the youth scurried down the hall to find the toy maker.

Having already gotten over his nervousness with Bunny, Jack took no time in presenting his issue to North - words blurting from his mouth as soon as he stepped into North's office. The winter spirit plopped himself down on the edge of the table the Cossack worked on, legs dangling off the side as Jack rambled on, not allowing himself to breathe until his story was finished.

"So, let me get story straight. Jamie asked you?" North stroked his beard, pondering the subject once Jack clamped his mouth shut. "Vhy?"

Jack shrugged, tapping a finger lightly against North's ice sculpture. "Don't know," Jack mumbled, "Maybe because I'm older?"

Yeah. Older, immortal, and clueless.

North smirked and shook his head, a deep chuckle causing his stomach to roll. "Vell," the cheery man leaned against the work table. "Vhat did you tell him?"

"Nothing!" Jack retorted, shrugging his shoulders again, exhaling heavily. "I didn't know what to tell him!" Jack recalled saying something, but heaven only knows what, and honestly, he didn't want to know. Even Jamie probably didn't know, and Jack only hoped that was the case.

North licked his lips, shifting against his stool and pulling up his belt. If he was going to sit here and listen to a sprite talk about sex, or his lack of knowledge on the subject, he might as well get comfortable.

"You not know any'sing about you know...sex? Jack?"

Said spirit shook his head, shoulders slumping. "Not much," he murmured, adding frost to the sculpture. "I mean, I know what it is initially for, baby makin' and all, and humans seem to like it...but why?"

North hummed, rubbing the back of his neck in thought. He needed to enlighten the boy delicately. The goal was to fill Jack in without saying to much. Sex was really something that needed to be experienced to fully understand and appreciate, but the likelihood of that happening for the winter spirit now was highly unlikely. Manny wouldn't approve.

Plus, options were slim.

"Well," North said after a brief fit of silence. "Sex is pleasurable. People find it enjoyable."

"What do you mean? Is it fun? Jamie said he heard it was fun..."

North nodded, cheeks flushing. There was no turning back now. He'd have to play daddy.

"Da, it is. It is in its on vay. In othervords, it is activity humans like to do over and over."

"Kinda like snowball fights?"

"Ehhhhh..." North's face scrunched, his voice pitched high. The toy maker made all sorts of noises to buy him time - noises that caused Jack's head to tilt and scoot closer. The youth's eyes widened in anticipation, lips slightly apart. "Kind of...not exactly." The Cossack cleared his throat.

"Let me put it dis way Jack," He leaned in, resting his elbows against his knees. "Vhat is your favorite sing'?"

"Like, to do?" The winter spirit blinked quizzically.

"Da."

"Like, in general, or..."

"Da. In general, everyday, vhatever." North huffed. "Out of every'sing, what brings you most happiness?"

Jack squinted, lips twisting to the side as he brought his hands together. Without his staff, which had been gently discarded to the left of the table, the youth felt fidgety, especially now when the air in the room grew incredibly uncomfortable. He was trying to think through - trying to narrow down his mental list of "fun things" to pin point a particular one. He didn't know if he could.

"I...well," Jack tucked his hands into the front of his hoodie, "I like lots of things. I like to make it snow, I like snowball fights, flying is fun, and I like re painting Bunny's eggs when he isn't looking." The last statement made Jack grin. Such a little fox he was.

North chuckled.

"Dat's good! Good! Now..." The toy maker reached out, grasping the spirit's bony shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Those all fun to you, yes? You enjoy doing dem."

Jack nodded, blue eyes meeting blue.

"Vell den, picture the fun you have doing all of those activities, and times it by ten. Dat is sex. Sex is vonderful sensation."

"Then why do humans scream when they do it?"

North choked on his own spit, body twitching forward slightly in shock. He was unaware of his fingers clinching around the youth's shoulder, his meaty fingers digging into the blue fabric in reflex. It didn't seem to bother Jack though. North wasn't hurting him. It was a steady pressure - a force needed to bring North back to reality - to make him once again realize that this was real. Jack seriously just said that.

He'd definitely be killing Bunnymund later.

Composing himself, North cleared his throat and released his hold on Jack. "Vell..." North was trying to improvise - trying to figure out some way to help Jack get it.

"You shout vhen doing flips in air, da? I know for fact you shout and make big scene vhen riding in my sleigh. It is because you are having fun - you are enjoying yourself. Same thing." Wonder raised his eyebrows, considering his own words. In a way, sex was sort of the point when wonder and fun collided - when pleasure peaked. Of course, he'd never mention that to Jack. It would just make things weird, and although it made sense, the underlying notion made North almost want to take the thought back.

Nevertheless, Jack still eyed him, waiting for a point to be made. Lord, the poor kid was really daft when it came to this.

"When people scream or make noises during sex, they are just voicing their joy." There.

Hopefully he didn't have to draw Jack a picture.

Jack mouthed a silent "Oh," his head bobbing in a slow nod. He got it now. Sort of. There was plenty left unspoken - things that Jack would have to figure out over time, but at least now he got the gist of things. He could at least tell Jamie that yes, sex was fun. Sex was fun if agreed upon by both parties, but that fact in itself was common sense. Jack didn't need to know much about the act to come up with that assumption.

He had heard horror stories - stories of humans, adults and children alike being forced to participate in the act, and the sprite nearly shivered at the thought. Him, a winter spirit, shivering. Any enjoyable activity could be turned into a bad experience if not careful. But that was why he was here, asking North. Jack wanted to be sure - he wanted to be careful. If it came down to it, he wanted to give Jamie a plausible, trustworthy answer, because oh the horrors that could be spread by the tiniest hint of falsehood.

No, Jack wanted to be sure, or at least be enlightened on the matter before he talked about it with his younger, more fragile friend.

After a moment's pause, the winter spirit coaxed his head up, thin legs kicking against off the edge of the table once more in idle frivolity. "North?"

"Da?" The Russian had been waiting. He had been anticipating another question. Jack Frost was an inquisitive, curious being as it was, so he was by no means surprised by the boy's persistence.

"Were your sexual experiences enjoyable? Bunny said his were..."

North released a single, boisterous chuckle, white teeth pushing past the whiskers of his beard as he smiled.

"Jack," He began, licking his lips and leaning forward, "To be honest m'boy, I don't remember ze details of my past. I know my origin -who I vas before I vas chosen to be Guardian, and I am very vell aware of vhat I did. I remember vaguely who my friends vere, and I remember particular events dat brought me both joy and distress." North shifted, his eyes locking on to the intense gaze of the blue eyed boy before him.

"I have heard saying dat people tend to remember the activities and events dat play to zere most extreme emotions more so den the breif, fleeting encounters ve might have on a daily basis. It is true - zere is reason for it. You see Jack, ve can only remember so much. Just because ve experience something doesn't mean our sub conscious vill find it important enough for us to remember it in the long run. It is the things that bring us the most joy - the things that impact us the most dat make us realize just how beautiful life really is. Those are the things dat stick with us. Those are the things that ve remember."

Jack Frost released a breath he didn't realize he had been holding, muscles relaxing as North reached out to pat his knee. It was a simple gesture, nothing too significant, but the gesture in itself made it abundantly clear that the Cossack was telling him this because he cared. North wanted Jack to know- he wanted Jack to feel comfortable and confident in himself, and most importantly, whether North intended to or not, he reminded Jack that he was his family.

North would answer any question the boy had, and he'd approach it like any good father would. He would be supportive, and the simple touch on Jack's knee was all the clarification he needed.

For now.

"Not everybody has good sexual encounters, but..."North smiled, raising a finger to emphasis the pause. "mine vere good. Mine brought me happiness, pleasure, and joy, and yes Jack, I had fun. For zat reason, I remember it - all of it, and I forever will."

The winter spirit flashed North his own toothy smile - a smile that would have caused multiple tooth fairies to shove their hands into his mouth at first glance of his pearly whites. He raked his fingers through his hair, pushing it back as he sucked in a deep breath, and although he glanced around the room, his mind at work, his frosted gaze fell on the larger guardian once more.

"Do you think I'll ever experience it?" Jack asked, hands folding together.

North shrugged. It was hard to say.

"I do not know Jack. Manny gave us our positions for a reason. Ve are here solely to fulfill a greater purpose. It is possible that you could eventually find someone to share such a special experience with, but do not vorry over it m'boy. Do not let ze thought of it take away from your purpose." North squeezed the youth's knee again in comfort.

"You are special boy Jack, very special. Vhether or not you have sex vill not change dat fact. Manny chose you for a reason, after all."

There.

That was it.

That was all Jack needed to feel satisfied - to know that he now knew enough.

Launching himself forward, the spirit threw his arms around the burly man's neck, tucking his head against North's beard in a hug. The Cossack chuckled warmly, his whiskers tickling the youth's cheeks, and North wrapped his arms around the lithe child as well, patting his back. He ruffled the boy's unruly white hair, pulling him into a tighter hug. The fact that Jack initiated the hug; that Jack wasn't squirming to get away brought joy to the toy maker's heart, and North knew that this was one of those moments - one of those moments of unadulterated bliss that he'd remember.

"Thank you," Jack mumbled, his face muffled by North's cascading white beard. "Thank you."

North smiled - something he found himself doing a lot today, and continued to pat Jack's back.

"You are very velcome m'boy. Anytime." Slowly, he pulled away slightly, coaxing Jack to look up at him with a grunt. "May I give you one last vord of advice?"

Jack nodded feverishly, eyes wide and alert as he gazed up at his elder.

"Do not rush to tell Jamie. As matter of fact, do not attempt to bring it up. Let him initiate conversation, okay? And if he does, just be honest. Tell him vhat you know, and leave it at dat."

Jack blinked, but he nodded once more after a moment's pause. Most likely, Jamie would know more about sex then Jack in a couple of years, and that was fine. But, if Jamie continued to want to know, and if Jack was the soul he felt comfortable talking to, the Jack would do his best. He didn't want to disappoint Jamie, but he didn't want to string him along either. In other words, he'd do as North suggested and stick to the basics. He'd relay the general information, and let the young teen figure out the details when he was ready.

"Good boyo, now," North slapped Jack's back, reached for the spirit's staff and handing it to him. "Lets grab cookie and see if ve can't make ourselves useful, da?"

Jack Frost grinned, hopping off of the table and bounding after the toy maker. The large man took no time in throwing the doors open, rambling on about unfinished ice sculptures, new recipes for fruit cake, and color patterns for possible concept designs, and Jack happily trailed behind, his spirits lifted and in just an over all good mood. North had earned himself a shadow for the rest of the day, and that was perfectly fine.

Well, that ended up being a little longer then I had originally intended it to. I take that back - it took longer than I had figured it would.

Pretty much we have Jack, Bunny, and North talking about sex. Aca-awkward.

This story was requested by Qwerty124. Qwerty asked that I do a story about Jack getting the "Birds and the Bees" talk. I kind of came to the conclusion that Jack KNEW what sex was, I mean, he's been around for hundreds of years, but he'd not know enough about it to fully understand. Jack was human in what, the 1600 - 1700's? Back then, sex before marriage was a NO-NO for both boys and girls; mainly girls. The possibility that Jack would have had sex as a human is slim, so we are left with a clueless 300 and some year old virgin. He really needs to go to a sex ed. class. XD Nevertheless, I hope this suites you Qwerty!

I have another little angsty short in the works next - a two part one. Well, I PLAN on it being two parts. Lord only knows. Just be prepared for a cliff hanger, and I will break it up with another request I am working on. :) I am being nice and giving you all a heads up! Here is a hint though - a lot of you have requested I do more "feral" Jack, and your getting it.

Thanks again to my AWESOME beta reader, Dinogeek. As always, she corrects my mistakes and sets me back on track! My stories would be a grammar catastrophe if I didn't have her helping me out!

Also, a special thanks to Galimatias! She has been very supportive over the last week, and I appreciate her help and advice. Be sure to hurry over and read her story "Protect." It is AMAZING.

Review away!

~ Cay.