I'm ok now guys! I'm not longer sick. I'm happy to what you guys are putting in the reviews as well.

Warning:yaoi and rape

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.

….

"And how may I help you today Shiki?" Izaya smiled, he was working at his desk since Shizuo had left ages ago.

"Remember that job I wanted you to do?" Shiki's voice came though the phone.

"Ah yes, that one where you asked me to find out who that mystery gang that attack the Awakusu right? It shouldn't be too hard." Izaya had already begun typing.

"That's good. I'll pay you in full once it's completed." He hung up and Izaya sat the phone down.

He was a little nervous about being left alone in this apartment. It was quiet, so quiet he could even hear his heartbeat. He didn't like it, not one bit. This feeling, it felt empty.

"It's lonely without Shizu-chan," he whispered. He hadn't realised he said it until it slipped out. It caught him off guard as he stared at his computer screen. Sighing, he stood up; he couldn't concentrate on work like this and went to the bedroom.

The curtains were open, but this room was also quiet. He frowned and slipped under the covers, propping himself up against the head board.

It's cold.

It's cold without Shizu-chan, Izaya looked down at the pillow Shizuo uses of a night and grabbed it, bringing it to his chest and breathing in the scent. Suddenly, a burst of warmth engulfs him and he smiles, burying his face deeper into the pillow.

I miss Shizu-chan, he thought, a saddened look on his face. But then surprise hit him hard. "I miss Shizu-chan?" he whispered. "Why?" he began to tremble with confusion, hugging the pillow in his arms a little tighter. "Why do I miss him?"

It's lonely.

It's cold.

I miss Shizu-chan . . .

"I miss Shizu-chan." He said a little louder. "I want Shizu-chan to come home. I want Shizu-chan." Tears began streaming. He placed a hand over his mouth to hide the gasp that escaped, finally understanding why he was saying these things. Why he had wanted Shizuo near him. Why he wanted Shizuo to protect him.

"I love shizu-chan."

…

Shizuo's foot tapped as he waited for Tom to collect the debt from another low-life. He breathed out a cloud of smoke from his fifth cigarette that day and it wasn't even lunch yet. And forget getting angry, Shizuo was way too pre-occupied with his own thoughts to get angry.

Tom knew Shizuo was stressing about leaving Izaya behind at his house, alone. It was evident as he noticed Shizuo's impatient behaviour: the foot tapping, inhaling cigarettes one after another to remain calm, eyes focusing on things no more than five seconds at a time.

It was strange to see him act this way, and even stranger to see it was about Izaya.

Shizuo sighed, stomping his finish cigarette on the ground. He made sure that that guy didn't come and take Izaya away; he had called Celty as soon as he left his apartment this morning to make sure no one enters the apartment, so she was protecting Izaya in his place which she agreed fully.

Though it did help settle Shizuo's stomach, it didn't completely settle his mind.

Would Izaya be ok? Will he eat? Will he get lonely? What if he gets a strange phone call? What if Celty can't defend him if that guy brought more people with him?

Questions like this ran through his mind, and he didn't like it.

"Hey calm down ok," Tom placed a hand on Shizuo's shoulder after he collected the debt money. "I'm sure he's fine."

"I don't know, he's not good on his own at the moment," Shizuo ran a hand through his hair. "And I do have Celty protecting the place, but I just have this feeling that something back is going to happen."

"Well, if she's protecting the place, then he won't be alone and he'll be fine." He reasoned.

"But he doesn't know I did that. Dammit!" Shizuo growled. He wanted the day to be over already. He couldn't take this worry any longer.

Sure if it had been back when Izaya was the flea, he wouldn't have cared. But this Izaya is frail, Shizuo knew that much already. He's weak of mind but strong in body, which meant that if something happened to Celty, Izaya couldn't exactly protect himself because he'd panic before he could defend. And that was what was worrying Shizuo right now.

But without the raven by his side, he did feel a little lonely. But he couldn't imagine how lonely it must be for Izaya right now. He must be scared, cold and lonely . . .

Shizuo shook his head; he needed to focus on his job right now. But how can he when he knew Izaya was home alone with no one to talk to. Of course he had his job to deal with and that must be exhausting itself. But would he be ok?

"Focus dammit!" Shizuo growled, ruffled his hard hap-hazardly.

"I think we should take a break for lunch?" Tom wondered, seeing Shizuo's flustered state. "That way you can go and check on him?"

"You sure?" Shizuo faced him.

"Yeah, you keep beating yourself up over this, your starting to get bags under your eyes." Tom pointed out.

He will admit that he didn't get much sleep last night, to busy focusing on what might happen to Izaya the following day so he probably only got around one or two hours of sleep at most.

"Ok," Shizuo nodded, and headed down the street. "See ya."

"Don't over work yourself ok?" Tom called back.

…

"Izaya?" Shizuo's sounded.

Izaya woke with a start, not realising he had dozed off. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, he got to his feet, taking Shizuo's pillow with him. "Welcome back Shizu-chan," he yawned, coming into the living room.

Shizuo smiled slightly, seeing that Izaya was still here and doing fine. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work still?" Izaya stood in front of him.

"Lunch break," Shizuo answered.

"Oh," Izaya smiled. But his stomach suddenly growled, as did Shizuo's.

"Anything you want to eat?" Shizuo asked.

"You pick." he waved off as Shizuo headed towards the kitchen.

Izaya watched as Shizuo began sorting through cupboards, he tried to calm his beating heart as he stared at the blonde but it didn't work. Did he really like Shizuo that much? As he was spacing out, he felt the space beside him sink and he fell onto a harden surface.

"You ok?" Shizuo had sat next to him and Izaya had crashed into his shoulder. He felt his cheek heat up looking into Shizuo's brown eyes.

"Yeah, sorry," he straightened up and noticed a cup of instant ramen in front of him. "Thank you for the food." He began eating.

Silence.

Shizuo glanced at Izaya from the corner of his eyes as he ate, the blush Izaya had was a light shade of pink. He smiled, the blush was actually very cute on him.

He mentally slapped himself for thinking something like that. They were both guys for crying out loud! Not wanting to focus too much on it, he distracted himself.

"So, you do anything today?" Shizuo asked.

"No really," Izaya curled deeper in his small ball while eating. "I fell asleep not all that long ago."

"Yeah, I noticed." Shizuo Izaya's bed head and looked down at the pillow Izaya had been holding which was now lying in between them. It was a cream colour. "Why do you have my pillow?"

Izaya's blush deepened to red when Shizuo pointed out, he hadn't even realised that it was his pillow until he pointed it out. Shit. This was bad. "W-w-what do you mean?" he blurted.

Shizuo held up the pillow sitting beside him. "My pillow is cream coloured, yours is white."

Izaya avoided his stare, "must have grabbed the wrong pillow?" he lied.

Shizuo rolled his eyes and placed the pillow back down again. He turned back to his nearly empty ramen cup and finished off the rest. Izaya sighed in relief as Shizuo bought his lie, he'd have a hard time explaining if he didn't.

Thirty minutes later and Shizuo had to leave again.

"You gonna be ok on your own for a couple more hours?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah," Izaya nodded.

"You're sure?" Shizuo examined the raven's features, making sure he was telling the truth.

"I'm fine." Izaya sighed. But Shizuo didn't like the frown that he had, he felt his chest grow tight when he saw it. it didn't suit him at all.

"Alright, lock the door ok?" Shizuo turned to leave, "see ya." Shizuo frowned at Izaya sudden confidence; he had almost missed the way he clung to him. But with a sigh, he heard the door lock and he moved on.

Izaya slid down the door, tears already streaming. His chest ached and he felt weak again. He didn't like this, being separated from him. He didn't like this. This feeling was unnatural to him. He had always felt love for humans, loving each and every one of them equally. But loving only one person, wanting to be with that one person, always thinking of that one person.

This feeling was foreign to him.

"I really am in love with shizu-chan." He buried his face into his arms. He didn't know whether to be happy or sad. But this feeling brought back a bad memory

He remembered back to when he was a child, back to when he was in love with another person, a boy a year older then he was. They had become good friends and they were slowly becoming a little more than just friends. He remembered how his heart would beat uncontrollably whenever he saw the boy or heard him speak, he remembered how his cheeks felt hot and how he loved to talk and play with him.

But that memory wasn't all good. Not when he found out. It didn't take him long to find out who Izaya's childhood love was and take action.

And right in front of Izaya, the man killed the boy saying: "if you ever love a single person. Make it me and no one else. Because if I catch you with someone else, I'll kill them. So instead, settle for the entire human race, love all of humanity. That way you love everyone yet no one."

Izaya wondered what that man must be doing at the moment. He wondered what he must think when he finds out that Izaya has feelings for a certain man that is not him. And he wondered what he might do to Shizuo once he found out.

He quickly shook the thought from his head. He shouldn't be thinking about that now. But the aching in his heart wouldn't leave him as he buried his head in his arms. "I want Shizu-chan to come home already."

…

Shizuo grumbled to himself, his chest felt tight ever since he left his apartment and he didn't know why. His mind was filled with Izaya and he didn't know why. And not knowing why just pissed him off because he didn't understand it. Which pissed him off even more because he didn't understand any of it.

Tom wasn't really complaining, since the people they visited for debt collection forked over the money instantly when they laid eyes on Shizuo's state. Although, the aura from Shizuo was so fierce he thought he saw sparks fly.

"Maybe you should calm down a bit?" Tom suggested.

"I am calm!" Shizuo growled, marching with his hands stuffed his in pockets and a lit cigarette in his mouth, eyes glaring at the ground. People stepped as far away from him as possible as he made his way down the streets.

"Maybe you should take the rest of the day off?" Tom placed his hand on Shizuo's shoulder, stopping him.

Shizuo looked at him, waiting to hear an explanation as why he needed the rest of the day off.

"Well, you're a little strange today. So go home and get some rest. I think you need it."

"Ok." Shizuo nodded and headed back down the street. Was he really acting strange? Well his mood was shifting back and forth between different emotions all day, and his chest was still pretty tight to which he still didn't know why.

But the moment he reached home and stepped inside, all those strange feelings went away. He suddenly felt at ease. "Welcome back Shizu-chan." Izaya flashed a smile that made his heart beat quicken.

"I'm home." Shizuo muttered and headed towards the bedroom to change.

"Shinra called to see if everything was alright." Izaya said as Shizuo came back out in a white T-shirt and sweat pants.

"Oh yeah?" Shizuo headed into the kitchen towards the fridge, grabbing a bottle of milk.

Izaya paused his work to look up at Shizuo, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah," he nodded, but didn't turn towards Izaya when he spoke.

Sighing Izaya stood, walking towards Shizuo. "You're lying."

"Am not," he retorted.

"Are to and you know it." Izaya huffed.

"I'm not lying, nothing is wrong."

"Then face me when you say it."

Shizuo stiffened. Izaya could tell when he was lying? How? He's never lied in front of him before. Well, he did stretch the truth here and there but never to him.

"Well, I'm waiting?" Izaya folded his arms and frowned.

Shizuo really didn't want to look him in the eyes, he knew his heart would be faster, but why he didn't know. But he followed the ravens request and turned around, closing his eyes so he didn't see him. "I'm not lying. Nothing is going on with me at the moment."

"Now was that so hard?" Izaya smiled, giving a small giggle. Shizuo accidently opened his eyes at the comment, but the moment he looked at that smile, his heart instantly began to beat faster.

"So yeah, I think I'll go to bed early today, night." Shizuo suddenly marched towards the bedroom, eyes to the ground.

Izaya blinked as he watched Shizuo disappear into the room. He could have sworn that Shizuo was blushing. But that must have been his mind playing tricks on him, right?

He shook his head and slapped his cheeks. This was no time to be thinking about such things. Shizuo didn't like him, not in that way of course. That thought hurt as he hung his head. Of course Shizuo didn't like him, why should he?

Snapping himself out of it, he walked back towards his computer and began to focus on work again.

Shizuo on the other hand couldn't think of anything but Izaya. He didn't know why but he felt heat instantly pool in the pit of his stomach and when he thought about it, he felt his pants grew tight.

Without even meaning to, Shizuo reached over and pulled Izaya's white pillow towards his face, hugging it. He breathed in the sweet scent that made his cheek heat up and his pants grow tight.

What is this feeling?

…

I had serious writers block with this chapter, mainly because I didn't feel like writing and all that and my grandfather died and yeah. but I made the chapter a little longer which is a plus I guess?

Please leave a review of what you think, they always make me happy and thank you to everyone who did review.

Until next chapter.