March 11, 2014
Keep Running—Brooke White (4:16)
Charmed
Phoebe
Her bed was too big. There was too much space around her. Would she ever get used to sleeping alone again? Not that it mattered. She couldn't sleep anymore. Every time she closed her eyes all she saw was his face. The silence was filled with the sound of his voice. Every person she saw looked just like him. She wondered if she was going crazy and decided that she probably was.
Going nuts might be good though. At least then she'd be happy again. She could live inside her memories of him. She could live on that smile and that expression on his face when she'd said yes to his proposal. They'd been so happy and then…and then…it had all gone to Hell. Literally. She'd never hated the source more than when she'd found out it had taken over her husband. So crazy would be good. Then she could forget all the bad stuff and just remember Cole the way he had been before everything had happened.
But she knew more than anyone that it wasn't that easy. She was as sane as any witch ever was. Only heartbroken. And it would never heal completely. The tears came then. Heavy and stealing her breath away. Cole was gone. She and her sisters had vanquished him. Sent him to Hell…again. And it hurt so much.
She felt Piper crawl on the too big bed behind her and wrap her arms around her. Then Paige came around and lay in front of her. Phoebe wrapped her arms around her younger sister and let the tears flow from her eyes. It hurt just a bit less now that her sisters were with her. Not a lot but a bit. She could get through this and she still had Cole's son to remember him by. Maybe that would be enough.
Cole would always be a part of her and she would tell their son all the wonderful things about his father that she knew. She would teach him the good and the brightness that lit his daddy's life. It was all she had left.