Chapter Eleven
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. I never will. Which sucks. But anyway.
Enjoy!
Rory eyes snapped open and sat up in her bed. She looked around her dorm room and focussed on the clock.
3:18am.
She groaned and turned a lamp on.
"That was weird," she whispered and rubbed her eyes.
She had been having a dream of colours and beautiful sounds and Jess. She tried to remember what it was she was dreaming about Jess but she knew it was something lovely. The dream bean to fizzle out of her brain and she lost it. All she knew was that it included her and him laughing, kissing and reading.
Rory groaned again. The desire to see Jess had grown once more and she wished he was closer or that she was closer and that they could actually be in the same vicinity as each other. She wanted him beside her but he was in Philadelphia and she was in New Haven.
She pulled the covers close over her and whispered to herself "I miss you Jess."
Jess sat upright and looked around frantically. Taking note of his surroundings he shook himself out of the nightmare he was having.
Rory had been hurt and she was calling out to him. She had been hurt by him. He didn't know how but all he knew was this certainty within the dream that it was his fault. He looked around again and looked at the clock.
3:18am.
Rubbing his eyes he climbed out of his bed and pulled a pair of track pants over his boxers, grabbing a shirt from his dresser. Flicking a lamp on in his room he walked out into the silent apartment and went to the kitchen. Forgoing the coffee Jess grabbed a glass and filled it with water, gulping it down.
Rory's face stayed in his brain and it haunted him. He had looked at her in this dream and she was crying and begging him for something. Her eyes were haunted and hurt and he ached to hold her.
God, he missed her.
He put his cup down in the sink and then went and sat at one of the desks in the corner. He grabbed a blank piece of paper and a pen and started scribbling away.
There are no words on earth to describe the way I feel about you. No words to explain the pure ache I feel at not being able to touch you every day, feel your warmth on my skin. You drive me crazy, with your eyes and your legs and your passion. You have no idea the power you have over me; the power over me to make me want to change and be better for you. I adore you.
Jess sat back and rubbed his eyes once more. He knew that was sappy, he knew that he would never want anyone to read that, save Rory. The words kept coming, words of love and awe and passion.
Without him even meaning to Jess Mariano, retired hoodlum of Stars Hollow, smirker-extraordinaire, began to write a romance novel.
Logan opened his eyes. He slid his hand across the sheets and felt the cold wrinkles left in them. The flavour of the night had gone, disappeared into the night, probably to recover from the hangover she was sure to have.
Logan didn't even remember her name. Mandy, Sandy, Claire? He didn't know and he didn't care.
He was disconcerted and uncomfortable. He reached for his boxers and slid them on, rolling onto his back.
He felt like an idiot. Rory Gilmore made him feel like an idiot.
He was so shocked at her breaking it off with him that he kissed her. He wanted to show her that he wanted her to stay. He even went so far to say that he would be her boyfriend, not even thinking for a moment that she would be taken. He should have known really. He had assumed before when he saw the man in the corridor that he was just another friends-with-benefits guy and that he wouldn't need to compete with anyone. He should have realised. He should have realised that she was a girlfriend sort of girl not just a casual lay.
He sighed.
He was a first class idiot.
Lorelai shuffled out of Luke's bed, leaving him lightly snoring on the bed. She smiled at him, sleeping so soundly and peaceful.
She loved him. She can't remember being that crazy about someone in a very, very long time.
She looked over at the clock and saw the time.
3:18am.
Lorelai had no idea why she was awake at this time. She once heard a quote that said if you were awake and not sleeping it meant you were awake in somebody else's dream – or something like that. It was cheesy but she could understand the sentiment.
She ran her hands over the comforter and got lost in thought.
She was so happy. She and Luke were going so well and she loved being with him. She loved coming to say hello in the middle of the day in the diner and how they would argue about her coffee habit but he would always give in; her saying it was her womanly wiles, him saying it's because she's a junkie.
She walked through the apartment and pulled on a shirt of Luke's that had been shed the night before. Her face got warm thinking about it and how connected they had been when they'd slept with each other that night.
He understood her on so many levels. He knew what hard work was like and how difficult it was to work at something and succeed. He'd been through rough patches with his diner and she was going through those now with the Dragonfly. He always listened to her ranting no matter if it was about her parents or Michel or The Dragonfly or anything.
He didn't walk away from fights either. He wasn't scared to stand up to her and tell her she was being an idiot or that she was not listening to someone. He was her reason in her unreasonable life.
Her mind went to Christopher for a moment. Luke was so much better for her than Chris. She remembers the last time she saw Chris, at her parents vow renewal. He had spouted off how they were meant to be together and that everyone knew that. Luke never mentioned it after they made up but she knew it bothered him. She hadn't heard from him and she didn't want to.
Chris was unreliable. Sure he was there when it suited him, when it suited him to say "I'm ready" but when she needed him or she wanted him he was gone, flying off on his motorbike to be with Sherry or his daughter.
For her, Chris was just another ex of hers, like Jason or Max or Alex. One that she wished no harm to but she didn't want anything to do with anymore. She knew it was more complicated than that though. Chris was the father of her child, the father of Rory. She knew she had to have something to do with him as much as she didn't want to.
Lorelai looked over at Luke again. She walked over and slid back into bed with him, pulling his arm around her, loving the warmth he gave. He grunted and pulled her close, settling her on his chest.
"Everything ok?" he whispered huskily, sleep lacing his voice.
"Yes," she whispered back, kissing his chest. "Everything's perfect."
Emily sat up in bed and looked around frantically. She saw the clock and sighed in relief.
3:18am.
She settled herself back into the numerous amount of pillows and crossed her arms over her chest.
"It was just a dream," she whispered to herself. "Just a dream."
She knew it was more than that though. She knew. She had this awful feeling in her chest. She didn't believe in premonitions but she had this feeling something bad was going to happen and she was directly in fault.
She thought of Lorelai and what she had done this past week. She only wanted the best for her daughter and that diner man was not it. She did what she had to do.
Richard grunted and she looked at him. She loved this man. She'd been with him for many, many years and it felt like she'd always been married. The vow renewal had made her realise that Lorelai needed stability. She needed someone to be there for her who fit with her and fit in their world. Luke Danes was not that man.
Her mind strayed back to that dream. It had been so vivid and felt so real. Lorelai had stood in front of her and had said nothing. She remembers her dream-self begging, something Emily Gilmore did not ever do.
"Please," she had whispered.
"No." The cold-hearted reply came from Lorelai and Emily could feel the power within it. "You have lost us. I won't come back here. You finally ruined it. You lost me."
The worst part of the dream was Rory, her beautiful granddaughter Rory, stepping out from behind Lorelai.
"You lost me," dream-Rory said, staring at her grandmother coldly. "I won't be back. We won't be back. I am finished with you." This was where Emily had woken up.
Emily was worried that she had made a mistake and then she shook her head pulling the covers over herself once more.
It would be fine.
Lorelai would always be with her, just maybe not for the best reasons.
Christopher looked at the clock.
3:18am.
He climbed out of bed and walked down the hall to Gigi's room. He thought he had heard a sound and Chris had not been able to sleep so he thought he would check on her.
She was sound asleep and Chris went forward to cover her again with the blanket she had tossed off in her sleep. She looked a lot like Sherry and Chris was glad to see that it didn't bother him anymore. Sure he wished he had someone around to help him out but he was fine by himself. They had worked out a routine.
Chris tried to convince himself that they were fine but he wanted someone to share this all with.
He wanted Lorelai.
He thought back to the vow renewal and how Lorelai had glared at him with hate when he spouted off about them belonging together. He couldn't help himself. He had been drinking and he hated seeing Lorelai with that Luke guy. All the words Emily had said to him made sense and he decided to interfere, screwing up a lot of things.
Emily Gilmore was a minx.
She desperately wanted Lorelai to be happy and she was convinced that only Chris could do that. Hell, even Chris thought that. She belonged with him. They belonged together in a nice house with children and jobs which they love. She didn't need that diner man.
Luke. The diner man. How he won Lorelai's heart Chris didn't know. He wanted to hit that guy when he listed all of Chris's failings about being a father to Rory because it didn't sound like a jealous man. It sounded like words from Lorelai's mouth and Chris knew, he knew that Lorelai had said those words, had listed that ammo against him in front of Luke and he hated that.
He wanted to fix things but he didn't know how.
Chris walked to his answering machine and played the only saved message on there.
"Christopher, its Emily. I hear you haven't spoken to Lorelai or Rory since the vow renewal. This is very immature of you. How do you expect to get Lorelai back if you back down when the diner man fights you? Dinner is on next Friday night. He never comes so it gives you a prime opportunity. Be there at six-thirty, they usually don't arrive till before seven. I want my family together again and we can figure out how the child fits into it. I will await your call confirming your presence at dinner. Goodbye."
He felt like a puppet. A puppet of Emily Gilmores. But he wanted the same thing as Emily Gilmore. He wanted to be with Lorelai and be Rory's dad. He could see that happening and he didn't really care how he did it or how much Luke was hurt in the process.
He would go to that dinner and finally win Lorelai over.
Yeah I hate Christopher. Not a fan of Logan or Emily either in this fic.
Sorry for the wait for this update. Year 12 in school is absolutely crazy and I have had to use my free periods for actual school work – imagine that? Tell me your thoughts, sorry that it's a bit shorter than usual and that it is a little strange.
RF