Freddie's POV:

No. Too bad. I wasn't taking this from Carly. I wasn't the one who let her fall. I wasn't the one who could've stopped all this in the first place and then blamed it on someone else!

Nope. I was just the one who lied about half of her life.

I pressed the END button and flung my phone on my table. I paced around my room, almost breaking out into a run then realized how little space I had. So I ripped my jacket off the back of my chair and ran out of my room.

"Where are you going?" my Mom asked, crossing her arms.

"Out," I grunted, flinging open the door and racing outside.

I walked/ran along the sidewalk, breathing heavily. I looked to my right to see the street sign for Charlotte Road, the place where Sam had shoved me into a pole after I refused to give her the change I had in my pocket. I shook my head and kept on walking.

And that, I noted, passing the weird shape in the sidewalk, is where Sam had pushed me into wet cement, laughed but looked so sad when I had gotten back up. She'd kept on pushing me until she had scribbled, 'ARTWORK BY SP' into the corner.

I skidded in my tracks and flipped around to go the other direction. I ended up running through a hedge and pushing through bushes. I remembered how Sam used to claim that this was a shortcut to some unknown place she had been to when she was little. We had never found it but we had found that park.

I came into the clearing and almost smiled. It looked as abandoned as it had been eight years ago. The same little playground was there with the tire swing. I remember everything from that day, from the uneasiness of the wind to when Sam had suddenly fallen to her knees in shock. It had been the first time in my life I'd ever seen Sam Puckett cry. I had always wondered why she'd been so upset, but I had never been brave enough to ask. I smiled ruefully. Guess I'd never know now.

And that's when I did what Sam had done so many years ago. I let my knees buckle beneath me and let hot tears stream down my face. I had all these memories and pinpoints of everything that had happened between us and iCarly and how she used to talk about things that she remembered when she was really young, before her Dad left, at least once a year and how she seemed so happy. And she didn't remember any of it. She was just an empty shell now. Sure, she looked like Sam and smelt like Sam and maybe she even sounded like Sam, but she wasn't. I didn't know her anymore.

Epiphany, that's what Carly had said. So, what - you get something, some instant reminder and all her memories would come back? Maybe a picture or a reenactment or -

iCarly.

I picked myself off the ground and dragged the back of my hand across my nose. She deserved to be Sam again. I didn't care what the hell happened to me, as long as she came back. That was it. No more lies. I would pack every memory into a little box and shove it down her throat if I needed to. She was gonna remember all the petty little details of her life, whether she liked it or not.

And there was no cowardly little impulses that would change that.

Sam's POV:

"I'm so sorry," Carly repeated for the thousandth time. She was sniffling as she told me all of this and it was getting hard to understand her.

"But you said it was temporary," I protested. So my best friend had lied to me about my own illness and the other was the only way I could get thoughts that were torturing me out of my head? God, I needed to get my life in check.

Carly wiped her sleeve across her nose and hiccuped. "I - I thought it was. He said he was almost positive but there were tests and - " She threw her head back and wailed, "I'M SO SORRY!" Sobs started racking through her body and I awkwardly patted her shoulder.

"It's okay," I insisted. "Carly, everything will be fine." Could teenage girls explode from crying? She looked like she was a bomb, counting down to complete destruction.

She laughed suddenly, but it was full of sadness and she shook her head. "Look at me, blubbering like a baby and you're the one who doesn't remember."

I shrugged. "Don't remember, don't miss it." Permanent? So did this mean I'd be stuck with that one horrible memory of my Dad, not knowing why he killed himself for all of eternity? No. That wasn't fair! I needed to find out what it was, if it was stress or my Mom or maybe even me. How was I supposed to find out now? My mom wouldn't tell me anything! Did this mean I'd be stuck with the creaking all my life?

Suddenly, the door flew open and Freddie burst in, carrying a huge cardboard box. He slammed it down on the coffee table and me and Carly both jumped.

"Sam, I hate you," he stated, breathing heavily.

Carly glared at him and I gave him a confused look. "What?"

"I hate you and you hate me," he continued. "I lied. I told you we were best friends and I told you lies, but the truth is that you make my life miserable."

I gave him a confused look. "What? What do you mean? So - so is everything you guys told me a lie?" I shot up from my seat. Had I wasted all this time pretending that I treated Freddie like a brother when I really wanted to rip his guts out? Had I done all this over a stupid lie?

"No," Carly spluttered, still crying and sniffling. "I w - wanted to tell you, S - Sam, but Freddie wouldn't let me. He wanted some p - peace and he thought you would get b - better if you - "

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" I screamed at him. "Do you know how much time I wasted pretending - ugh, never mind! Why are you here anyway? Get out! Or, would you like to tell me something else? That we're secretly mountain climbers? Or, I know, we have our own donut shop!" I gave him a death glare. What a stupid jerk! "Why are you still here, dishrag?"

He blinked and innocently patted the box. "To make you remember what really happened." I just kept my glare steady without responding, so he continued. "I don't know why I did it, Sam. But I was a jerk and I lied and I'll fix it." He looked like he was about to burst into tears. "I'll fix it."

I almost felt bad for the guy. Almost. I sighed. "Freddie - "

"Here," he said eagerly, reaching inside the box and pulling out a bottle of some weird cream. "This is the anti-tick lotion my Mom used to use on me. You always used to make fun of me for it." He shoved it into my hands and reached inside the box again.

"Freddie - " I tried to interrupt but he pulled out a weird looking harness.

"This is from when we snuck into Nevel's house and you spun me around and let Nevel's grandmother whack me with an umbrella instead of helping me down." He dropped the harness on the ground and reached inside the box again. He pulled out some grey cloths.

"This is the nug-nug costume I wore to school when we made the bet that you couldn't insult me for the week and if you did, you'd have to give me five dollars." He pushed the costume into my hands. "Starting to remember?"

"Freddie," I said warningly.

"Shh," he hushed me and continued riffling through the box. What did he think he was doing? Obviously, I wasn't gonna -

"Oh and this!" he exclaimed with a smile, dropping a red sock onto the pile. "This is what you put in my washing machine when you tried to convince me I would have endless bad luck from a chain letter."

"Freddie, seriously - "

"And look!" he said, taking his laptop out of the box. He opened up the iCarly website, scrolling through the videos. "See there's one here, this was a long time ago - " He clicked one and what looked like a younger version of me started teasing him on camera. Didn't he understand this wasn't helping anything?

"Freddie, I mean it - "

He reached inside the box. "And this is from - "

"Will you stop!?" I screamed. I threw all the stupid crap in my hands on the floor and glared at him. He took an uneasy step back. "Don't you get it? Don't you get what you did!?"

"Sam, I didn't - "

"You didn't what? Didn't care? Didn't think? Do you know how much of an idiot you are!? You told me all these stupid lies and now you expect me to remember all the stupid shit I used to? Just like that? Freddie, I'm never gonna remember anything! Ever again! All I remember is whatever stupid stuff has happened this week which has been horrible enough as it is!" I kicked the coffee table and the box flew off it, smacking into the door. "And Carly, you too! You just went along with this stupid charade and for what? So you could get some peace?"

"S - Sam," Cary pleaded.

I laughed at her. Actually laughed. "Hate to tell you this, Shay, but whatever messed up kid you grew up with is gone. Some 'best friends' you two are. Whatever. I don't need this. Any of this. You can do your stupid webcast without me. And you can both get the hell out of my life!" I threw open the door and stormed out, tears flying from my eyes. I angrily scrubbed them away. What was I crying for anyway? Crying for the Dad I never knew? Crying for my 'best friends' who'd lied to me about half of my life? Crying for every screwed up thing that had happened this week? Or crying for the heartbroken people I'd just left in the apartment?

Someone grabbed my arm, but I had had enough of this. I wrenched my arm out of their grip and whirled around to face them. Well, of course it was him.

"Get the hell away from me."

"Wait, Sam," Freddie said nervously. "I'm just - I'm just - "

"Just what!?" I screeched.

"I'm just sorry! I'm just - I'm in love with you and I don't know what to do about it. I - I was confused. I was an idiot and a jerk and I just wanted to understand, I wanted to get to know you better. I never meant for this to happen. I - I didn't think it would happen."

"I know you didn't. You just didn't think, did you? I don't want any of your stupid dramatic speeches. And, hey, I'm sorry you don't know how to handle your feelings but that's not my problem. I'm not the girl you knew. I'm just someone who looks like her. Just someone who was lied to." I smiled ruefully. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Fredchunks. Have fun with your stupid fucking life."

I tore my eyes away from his watery ones and walked away.

And I didn't look back.

Freddie's POV:

I stood in the hallway, tears tracking down my cheeks as I stared at the empty hallway where she'd been standing just two seconds ago. She was gone. Sam - Sam was actually gone.

I shuffled back into the apartment, dimly aware that Carly was screaming at me through fat tears that were spilling from her eyes. Something about it being my fault, something about how if I hadn't lied we'd still have iCarly, we'd still have simplicity.

We'd still have Sam.

"See if I ever even speak to you again, Freddie Benson!" was what echoed in my ears as Carly weeped and stomped up the stairs. Had I told her that she was right? Had I told her the Sam was actually gone this time? That she would never forgive me? That we'd just have a feeble memory of a blonde, reckless girl we once knew for the rest of our lives?

I collapsed on the couch, clutching a pillow against my head. Then I forgot everything. Everything was just a dull, nagging ache in the back of my mind. My whole whole world was just a couch, a pillow and a dazed boy in a lonely, quiet apartment.

And, vaguely, in the depths of my mind, I wished the girls I had once loved would come back to me.

I - am - back! I don't know how long I've actually been gone, but I have a feeling it's been long enough. Anyway, I'm finally here and I come with a very new and very dramatic chapter. I also have to mention that the end is near, not just because it's true, but because I've always wanted to say that. Oh and before iForget *snort, giggle* a big thanks to all my reviewers!

Geekquality

.seddie

myjumpingsocks

JustinAbel

By the way, I was reading some of my older reviews and I just wanted to really thank all of you for reviewing. IT'S SO AWESOME! Plz, PLZ review and I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can!

-Gallifrey101

PS: SkyLeinz, I missed your review last time. I consider you and myjumpingsocks a regular. D': Where'd you go?