I think I have a problem.

Needles in My Eyes

Chapter 10 - I'm Late For Work In Real Life

What? No, Ike didn't die! Sheesh… Learn to take a cliffhanger without flipping out.

That's not to say that he wasn't injured, though. Soren was already working on him as we arrived, and Mist was quick to scream and run over as well. Thankfully, between the two of them, our fearless leader was saved.

Unfortunately, he was still gravely injured. From what I gathered from Nephenee in the aftermath, Ike had been dueling with the leader of the caravan while everyone else was handling the small fry. The tigers had been let out while they were distracted, and one of them had jumped into their formation and struck Ike before they could do anything about it. Then the enemy leader struck in time, doing the majority of the damage. Thankfully, Neph had seen this coming and struck the leader down just after. Between Mordecai and Soren, the tigers had stood no further chance, and then the rest of us arrived.

The trip home was solemn but relatively quick. Even Marcia and Makalov's touching reunion was put on ice by the image of Ike confined to a sick-cart and Mist crying over him non-stop. It wasn't until we stopped for the night that we were able to really catch our breath, as Soren and Mist implored to continue on to Sienne so that Ike could be seen a more skilled healer and the physician. Alas, healing magic was all well and dandy when performed by a master with skill enough to do more than just knit you back together, but neither Mist nor Soren fell under such a category. Rhys, maybe, but he'd been using the arts proficiently for much longer than Mist, and Soren… more on him later. The point is that you still had to worry about things like blood-loss and infection.

The rest of us spent the night huddled in a cheerless camp. Our victory was muddled by the circumstances, and our spoils were arguably even more disturbing. Lifting the crates revealed them to be unstably heavy, and they were sealed so tediously that we had almost no choice but to obey our orders not to open them. I feel we all had our suspicions of their contents, with Mordecai's harsh and nigh-constant glares at them being a major contributing factor.

I, of course, was already rather certain of the laguz slaves within them. I couldn't recall the game outright stating as much, but I knew that the trade of such was the centerpiece of the story arc that had recently consumed us. This foreknowledge didn't help me though. No, I'd actually say that it made things worse. I couldn't dismiss the cargo as just being shifty bags or what-have-you. It made the despair more real, I suppose. I lay awake for much of that night, staring up at the stars and wondering what exactly was going to happen now that things had turned out the way they had.

With Ike injured, it would turn to Titania and Soren to lead the mercenaries. That would work, I thought, as they were already respected as our practical team leads. However, that didn't change the facts that Ike was hurt in a way that the game had never quite cared to represent. The games didn't have an 'injured' status that I knew of. The character was either alive and perfectly capable... or dead.

I didn't have to worry for long, though. The first thing we were told upon arriving in Sienne was that Ike had made it and was bound to recover. Alas, Titania's team had arrived in our absence, allowing Rhys to assist in Ike's recovery. We sent the seized cargo to Mainal Cathedral and returned to base without a moment's hesitation.

To make things even better, we returned to find Brom up and about as well.

"Brom!" Nephenee smiled with joy at the man's standing form. Even the most taciturn of us, it seemed, could be raised in spirits after receiving good news.

A group of us remained to chat with the big fellow while the rest went to either offload their stuff or look in on Ike's condition.

"Well, it seems like yall had quite the time," Brom commented once we were done telling him all about it. "Sorry I wasn't able to come along and help out. I was plum worried when I saw them haul in the commander like that, but they assured me that no one else was hurt."

"Aw, you old softie," Zihark chuckled, nudging the farmer in the side.

"Make fun all you like. I've been uneasy since yall left," Brom took it in stride. "Why, I ain't ever been that worried about anyone like that besides my family before. I'm serious…"

Nephenee put a hand on his shoulder as he trailed off with tears slowly building up in his eyes.

"It's alright, Brom. We're all okay," she said gently.

On the other side of the spectrum, we had Soren and Titania. There was a room in the base that was, for all intents and purposes, unassailable from the outside. For the most part, it was where meetings went on. Sometimes however those meetings were comprised of our leadership and not much else. Maybe some of the senior mercenaries would slip in, but never any of us newer members. If one were to stand outside and try to listen through the door, they might hear anything from jovial laughter to shouting matches so intense the floors would vibrate. Soren and Titania rarely saw precisely eye to eye, and that's not just a dig at the mage's height. He was quite the pessimist, while Titania… Well, I honestly didn't know what Titania's mindset was, considering I'd only spoken to her outside of training maybe three times ever, and one of those had been seventy-five percent threats. The point is that she was supposedly more optimistic about certain things, contrasting with Soren and his status as a permanent grump.

Anyway, shortly after our arrival, one of those shouting matches was discovered to be going on, and there was nobody in there with them to so much as tell them to shut the door all the way. The subject was not what you could call… cheery.

"How irresponsible can the two of you possibly be?!" Titania's voice was probably fierce enough to blow Soren's hair back. "What possessed you go off with such a small force?! Do you even know how much worse it could have been?!"

"I am quite aware of every point you are trying to make," Soren spoke loudly, not deigning to actually shout this time - arguably because he was having doubts on the matter. "If everything had gone according to plan, then things would have turned out-"

"But things didn't go according to plan, did they Soren?!" Titania interrupted. "You underestimated the enemy and this is the result!"

"How was I suppose to predict them having tigers working for them?!" Soren decided that shouting was now necessary. "And they weren't just any tigers! Mordecai said there was something wrong about them. It was an entirely new kind of enemy, and we were in the middle of combat…"

"You know that's just an excuse!" Titania cut in again, this time pounding on the table in outrage. There was a pause, the time of which many of us snooping took to exchange worried glances. It took several seconds for Titania to speak again.

"You're better than this."

The sounds of boots coming for the door after that incited us to scatter, but the damage was done.

"What do you think?" Sothe asked me as he, Jill, and I sat in a pub that evening to reconnect.

"About?" I asked as I took a pull from my pipe.

"About Soren and Titania fighting," he elaborated. "They were at it for half last night as well."

"Surely they'll get over it," Jill remarked. "Everyone has said that Ike's going to be fine. The princess has had every healer she can find take a look at him."

"Everything will come back together," I said on the matter. Whether or not I believed my own words wasn't something I wanted to admit. "The knitting's not undone, and no one's dead yet. We're all too far along into this thing to let it fall apart now."

"We're just supposed to have faith in them, then?" the thief was skeptical, and I couldn't blame him for that.

"That's the idea," I shrugged. "We follow our superiors. Having faith is part of that."

Sothe readjusted in his chair at that, and Jill sat quietly for the time being.

War is a terrible thing, isn't it?

The sentence rang through my head, causing me to chew on the end of my pipe in pique. War… We hadn't even gotten to that part yet. We were still just dealing with the buildup. Compared to the army we'd be facing in Daein, those bandits had been nothing. It was going to get much, much worse - of that we could be certain.

"Oh, um," Jill spoke up all of the sudden, looking at me. "Arrow, I was…"

I perked my brow as she trailed off. "Yes?"

"I… Well…" she failed to spit it out. "Oh… Nevermind."

Sothe and I exchanged a glance before dropping it. Whatever that was, Jill wouldn't appreciate us trying to drag it out of her if she wasn't ready to say.

The next time I saw Soren, it was very early the following morning. I'd gone to bed early that night, only to get stuck awake similarly early after stubbing my toe on the way in from the privy. Light from the meeting room door caught my eye, so I stuck my head in to find the mage sulking over a book in the lantern light. He glanced up, and I fully expected him to dismiss me in some fashion. Surprisingly, he just looked back down and proceeded to ignore me.

Not having anything better to do, I decided to invite myself in. The table that took up the majority of the room had several books, scrolls, and maps upon it, much of which hadn't been there the last time I'd looked. Alas, insomnia. Had the lighting been better, I'd have been able to see bags under Soren's eyes. No way he'd been able to sleep since Ike was injured.

I sat on the other end of the table, making as little noise as I could manage and using my single candle to take a gander at one of the nearby books. I had to scowl when I saw the pages, however, what with its language being different than what I'd been studying with the girls.

"It's Heron text."

I looked at the mage, wondering why he'd decided to acknowledge me further.

"I thought you might have an eye for it, actually," he went on, confusing me.

"By which you mean what?" I bit. Following along with him here was better than continuing the sourness we'd been sharing.

"There's a mark on your hand," he decided to cease being coy. "I know what it means."

I twitched, feeling myself get inexplicably emotional at the mark getting brought up. I'd been sufficiently ignoring it for some time now, but I suppose that someone was bound to find out sooner or later. Might as well be Soren, who I'd wager would understand better than most.

"What of it?" I decided to play it off.

"Oh, nothing much. I'm simply intrigued. It adds to your mystery," he said, glaring at me through what I saw as evident fatigue. "You've been quite the enigma since the day you showed up out of nowhere. You can't fault me for trying my hand at decoding you."

"Hm?" I feigned being impressed. "You're trying to goad me into saying something I don't want to, I assume."

He sighed, looked back down. "No, I suppose you're just a bit too clever for that after our talk at the lake."

"That's a compliment from you," I noticed. "Ike's injury is bothering you more than I thought."

He looked right back up, this time glaring in a more defensive way. I dare say he felt like I had when he'd spoken of my brand. Soren was… Well, let's say that he never was one to reveal his true emotions to those he didn't trust - not in the games, anyway. That I'd figured him out must have bothered him. I wasn't supposed to know how much he cared about Ike, I guess. This wasn't the time for that, though. Soren was my team leader, not to mention the company tactician. If he was feeling bothered, then it was in my best interest to try and help him out.

"I'm sorry," I apologized for speaking out of turn about his feelings. "And I know that I'm being unnecessarily mysterious, but, if you know about my brand, then you must at least have some idea as to why I wish to be that way."

That was pushing it, but I suppose that it wasn't really a lie. The point remained the same.

Soren said nothing for a moment, going back to regarding his tome for a moment before closing it and standing up. He walked over to me quickly and pulled out the nearest chair. He sat in it, composed himself, and then looked up at me with an expression I'd never seen on his face before. Anxiety - the guilty kind.

"Do you think it was my fault?"

My heart nearly skipped a beat. What a question, and what a person to hear it from! Who was I to judge whose fault such an event was? Hell, if anyone was at fault, it was me. I'd known about the tigers, but had decided to say nothing. I'd decided well before the crow attack to never say anything, but was I exempt from such blame due to my strange circumstances? I'd not really thought about it until that moment. Still, I pushed that aside so I could give the fellow an answer.

"I say it wasn't," I decided after a brief contemplation. "It's no more your fault than it was anyone else's. Like you said, you couldn't have expected the tigers. You made your plan based on the intel you received. What else could you have done?"

...Had foreknowledge of events? I left out.

"When I was still studying tactics, I was told that deaths on the battlefield are simply a fact of battle," he stated grimly, staring into space next to me. "I just… I don't know why I'm telling you this."

I didn't either, but still...

"It's okay," I said in a whisper, feeling like I understood what he meant. I didn't know why he was telling me this, either. "I don't think anyone else blames you either - even Titania. We may not talk about it, but I suppose that we're all prepared to die doing this. You don't join the cause if you're not, y'know?"

He took a deep snort, possibly to reign himself back in.

"Also," I felt the need to add. "Ike's not dead, and I sincerely doubt he'll blame you in any way."

"He's already told me that he doesn't," he nodded solemnly. I suppressed a smirk. On that touching note, however, the mage wiped his face and stood back up. "It's late. The Apostle will likely wish to have words tomorrow."

Trying to leave it at that, the mage took a few steps towards the door.

"Soren," I called, stifling a laugh. He turned, the glare having returned. "Your book and lantern."

He quickly shuffled over and collected the items, doing his damndest not to look at me again. Once again, he made for the door, only stopping as his hand touched the handle.

"It's a tome," he said. "On healing staves."

And then he was gone. No 'thank you', no apology for prying into my business, not even a sign of accepting my own apology. Then again, I guess it was too much to hope for after such an unprecedented emotional conversation. I only ever told a few people about that one… and not a single one believed me.

Sure enough, Sanaki did summon our leadership to Mainal. Ike made the journey, if hiding a limp as Mist and Soren discretely propped him up on either side could be referred to as such. They all returned with sour faces and news of another assignment. Brigands to hunt in the desert, it seemed. Just like that, the next chapter was upon us.

Unfortunately, this was the part of the story where things got muddled for me. Several storylines that I remembered in my head were running together, and it had been so long that I couldn't directly remember all the details. It'd several been months since I lost my ability to play the game, and years since I'd made it as far as I stood. I knew that the brigands we were being sent to seek weren't what we were being lead to believe, however. Sanaki, alongside potentially others, were playing a grand game of intrigue, and we were a key piece.

The brigands were, in short, not true brigands at all. They were an outfit that called themselves the Laguz Emancipation Army, and their prime objective was to free all enslaved laguz. They were based in the Grann Desert, which we would be departing for within the next few days.

...Or, at least, we would have been if our leadership wasn't so bloody entangled at the moment.

"I'm going," one could hear Ike declare through the meeting room door. "I am the leader of this force, and I will lead it from the front."

"And get yourself killed this time!" Titania expressed in stark disagreement with the young man's determination. "Honestly, Ike, I know your recovery is going along well, but it's only been a few days. Until you can swing a sword cleanly at pace, then I, as your second-in-command, cannot allow you to take part in any battle."

This was the makeup of an argument that went on in circles for several minutes, with Ike and Titania doing most of the shouting and Soren saying absolutely nothing. It was only resolved when Oscar and the other original members of the mercenaries barged in and made the scene. They all told Ike that he needed to focus on healing. For better or worse, he ultimately agreed. The better was due to him not unnecessarily risking his life. The worse was due to a condition he'd requested. He still wanted to go, and that meant waiting until he was fit to travel. The physician was adamant on a three-to-five day waiting period. Normally, this wouldn't have been too bad. We all needed the time to rest up and regain our balance, after all.

But I was restless.

It was my day off from training, the third of our three-to-five days. Instead of going out and having a pleasant day on the town, I found myself sitting in a secluded spot. My mind was still turning on all cylinders after my conversation with Soren, and now I was being forced to wait for the story to progress. Alas, the curse of foreknowledge. It turns your existence into a literal sequence of waiting, as if life was one long prophecy. If it was, then I was the prophet, too scared of what people would think to go blabbing.

When I found myself like this, I'd usually distract myself with training. When it happened on my day off, a time when everyone else was training and I was all but not allowed to join them, it meant that I was left to my own devices. As my episode in the woods from a few chapters ago might have let on, this wasn't always a good thing.

"Why me?" I'd occasionally mutter as I sat on the ledge of a bell tower or somewhere else just as distanced. Today it was the tower of a small, rundown church not too far away from the base. It wasn't that bad of a climb, and no one ever stopped me. The bell never even rang, making it an ideal place to unwind my thoughts.

We'll go into the desert to meet Tormod, I thought the plot to myself. With him will be Muarim, another tiger. Tormod is supposed to become friends with Sothe, so I'll probably have to get acquainted with him at some point. Beyond that… What else do I know about about him?

I wracked my head, trying to even visualize the young mage. He wore orange, used a fire tome, and that was about all I could muster.

He's not what I'm interested in, though.

That thought made me sigh out of worry. The image of a green-haired swordmaster in a purple coat came to mind. Stefan, his name. In the game, he'd been a mysterious fellow that most could only recruit via a guide due to the ridiculous specifics necessary. You had to send a laguz character - Lethe or Mordecai - to stand on a certain out-of-the-way square on the field grid. Then he'd pop up and follow along like a proper lunatic. The thing that bothered me was the prospect of pulling this off in real life. It didn't look likely. The area in question, on top of being removed from the battle, was also lacking in any other useful traits. No way I could just tell Lethe or Mordecai to just go stand over there and hope for the best. If anything, I'd have to go myself and see what fruit that bore. The guy was a branded after all. Maybe if I showed him mine, he'd have sympathy.

I sighed again. It was becoming a bad habit, to be honest.

"I thought I saw you up here."

I twitched at the voice, turning to find a head of red hair sticking up through the hatch.

"Dinner time already?" I asked Jill as she pulled herself up and moved next to me.

"No, I finished my exercises early," she claimed before sitting next to me. "What's the matter?"

"Hm? Should something be the matter?" I asked, trying to play it off.

"Oh, come on. I could've heard that last sigh from the ground," she said with friendly frustration. "You've been doing that a lot recently. Something's bothering you, so, like a good friend, I'm trying to get you to talk about it."

One thing I liked about Jill - she didn't dance around the point.

"...I'm just worried," I said after a moment. "This desert job didn't come with many details."

"Neither did your last job." The comment stung a little. "You think there's something to it?"

"Maybe," I shrugged. "Could be that there just isn't much intel to use. Could be that the Apostle's people are treating us like idiots. Could be something bigger. Could be something entirely unrelated."

"Could be that you're thinking about it a little too hard," she suggested. "Weren't you the one that said we should have faith in our superiors?"

"Sothe said it. I agreed," I corrected. "Still, that doesn't mean I can't get a bad feeling about things."

"Why not bring it up to Ike or Titania?"

The thought had crossed my mind, but…

"I'm not totally sure what they could do about it. Also Titania's doing all the 'in charge' things right now," I pointed out. "In case you haven't noticed, she kinda hates my guts."

"Tell me about it," the wyvern rider rolled her eyes. "Yesterday she made me run extra laps because I was muttering my old marching chant during drills."

"Oscar says she used to be like that with them when they were younger," I recalled from a story he'd told back on the ship. "It's a wonder that they survived."

"Yeah…" she nodded absently. I almost chuckled. Now it was my turn to be concerned for a friend.

"Something you wanna say?" I asked, hoping I didn't seem too forward.

"Um… It's just…"

"Arrow!"

I flinched at the call. Of all the…

"Soren?" I called back as we were drawn towards the ground. There we found the sullen mage glaring up at us.

"I'd like a word, if it's not too much trouble," he said, his tone far too serious to my liking.

I thought about telling him that it was in fact too much trouble, but then he was the one that controlled my income, so shit.

"You should see what he wants," Jill was quick to say, causing me to almost break and giggle at her. Just what the hell was she so nervous about saying to me?

"If you say so," I smiled behind my mask before getting up and leaving her there.

Moments later, I found myself walking down an empty alleyway with my team leader.

"I've decided that we should take some initiative," he told me, both intriguing me and filling me with dread at the same time.

"How so?"

"I want you to go scout out this camp of bandits. Seeing as our previous encounter was hindered by a lack of intel, it only seems right for us to increase our chances this time by gathering more than what was initially provided."

Sound logic. But… Wait, what?!

"Are you saying that you trust me enough to send me out without supervision to gather intelligence on our enemy?" I had to ask. With the arguable exception of that night in the meeting room, the mage had been very clear so as not to make me seem like I was any sort of trusted person.

"Well, I can't send anyone too important," he was quick to belittle me, likely a defense mechanism to keep me from getting friendly. "I've prepared tools and a horse for you to travel with. Your mission will be to scout out the base of these so-called brigands. Find out their numbers, get a look at their equipment, perhaps draw up some layouts to get us a better idea of how to attack. The rendezvous is the Goddess's Oasis, our last stop before reaching the enemy base. If all goes to plan, we should meet you there one week from today. Any questions?"

I took a moment to catch my breath. Crap, this wasn't going to be easy.

"Is it just me going?"

"I tried to borrow Sothe, but Titania wants his skills in an upcoming operation on her end," he said with notable annoyance. "Anyone else would be too noticeable if they were missing."

Before I could start cursing my luck, I suddenly came to an odd realization.

"Why is it bad if our people are noticed being gone?"

Soren didn't miss a beat.

"Don't ask stupid questions."

My brow furrowed on reflex.

"Ike and Titania didn't sign off on this, did they?"

"That's not for you to worry about."

His way of saying 'yes', I figured.

But hey, look on the bright side. At least now I had an opportunity to face all of those problems I was just stressing over head-on and alone. Funny how life always comes up with a way for you to solve your issues, even if it sometimes involves you literally walking into the lion's den. And a tiger's den as well. Also getting lit on fire.

This is easily the worst chapter I've ever written. But I'm posting it. Because I'm a hack.

Thank you and have a nice day. I don't own Fire Emblem.