&*&*&*&*&*&*&*& Penelope and Derek: 2 &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

Penelope set up a circle of chairs then a half circle around part of the circle, Just in case more people stopped by then she thought. The Christmas day support group always had the smallest amount of attendees. Once the chairs were complete she went over to set up the coffee table. Make a large pot of coffee and a second smaller pot of Hot water, then placed out the tea bags, sugar, and a small thing of milk in a thermos. She had went out today and got an array of cookies that she set around the table in a decorative style. She looked down at her watch and notice the time, there was only about five minutes left before the group was suppose to start. She fixed herself a cup of tea and waited. She liked the support group, and new it helped her as much as she hoped it helped others. As the minutes ticked down she started to wonder if anyone would show up. She was also wondering if Derek would actually show up. He had said he wanted to, but she knew this type of group was not Derek's thing. The idea of him being there was unnerving.

Hearing the door open behind her she looked around and saw three of her normal group members show up together. They each grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down in the group. Shortly after a few more people came in and joined the group. Penelope looked at her watch and seeing that it was exactly one pm she started group.

"Good Morning everyone. I know the holidays are a hard time in the best of situations, but when you have lost a loved one, it is that much harder. I want to thank each one of you for coming, and let you know how much it means to me. I see the strength in each of you that helps me to deal. So how is everyone doing? Does anyone want to share first?" Penelope started the group.

The group was silent as everyone looked around. So members had to keep their head down to keep from looking at the others afraid to cry. Penelope had heard the door open behind her when she started the group but didn't notice anyone new take a seat, so she ignored it, until the few minutes of silence was broken by a gentle tenor voice from over by the coffee table.

"Good Afternoon everyone, My name is Derek. I have never done this kind of thing before so I am not sure what I am suppose to say. But, I guess I will start by saying, this time of year is always hard on me. I lost my father when I was a little boy, and normally I would be spending today with my family back in Chicago but I decided not to this year. I am holding up better then I thought I would but for some reason the death of my father is really hitting me hard this year, and without having my mother and sisters near me it makes it a little worse. So I decided to come here today and see what this was about." Derek couldn't believe how nervous he was to talk to this group of people. He never had issues talking in front of groups before. He across the circle from Penelope when he was done talking but avoided her gaze for a few a while.

"Welcome Derek," Penelope greeted. "I am sure I speak for everyone when I say we are glad you stopped in today. Not being able to be around the people you love can make it harder to deal with things, even if it happened years ago."

"My wife was killed about four years ago. My wife and I had two children together, normally we would spend this day together, and stop at the grave yard in the morning but this year I had to do it by my self. One of my children recently got married and moved to Texas, so he wanted to spend the day with his new wife at home. The other, my baby girl, is aboard from some college program she is in. Not having them around and having to go to the cemetery by myself this morning was so hard. So Derek, I get what you are saying. I though I had dealt with the death of my wife, but when I went there a long this morning I broke down like a baby. I never realized how much support I received from my children. It was having this group today that kept me going and hopefully it will help you like it does me." Said a man to Derek's left patting Derek's shoulder as he finished.

A woman spoke next talking about being really upset and not knowing what to do, She had a son that was beat to death during a hate crime earlier in the year. The woman's husband and her two daughters and another son where at home going through the same thing. She was feeling guilt for not being home. The group showed the woman such support, the woman wipped her face looking at Penelope and told everyone she was thank you for support but what she really thought that what she needed was to go home and spend time with her children and husband.

Derek spoke a second time towards the end of the group, actually starting to tear up. "I guess what makes this year hard for me is that I am now about the age my father was when he was shot. I do a similar job to him, and it has me thinking. There is so much I want to do and people I want to be with but at the same time, I start to think, about why am I living longer then my father? It just doesn't seem fair. He had a wife and three children, had so much going for him. I am single with no children. How is it fair."

"It's not about comparing you and your father's lives Derek. Something horrible happened to your father, it wasn't fair. But you need to be able to continue to do what you love to do, and if that is follow in his foot steps and go beyond when it comes to your career do that and be proud." Penelope spoke softly. She looked at her watch and noticed that it was already after two-thirty. The group had run over. "We have actually gone a little longer today then we normally do. So with that I think it is important to close for the day. Please remember you are never alone. We all have each other."

Penelope hung around for the few people who wanted to talk a little longer as they nibbled on cookies and drank a cup or two of coffee or tea. By three it was only Penelope and Derek left. Penelope cleared up the chairs staking them against the wall. It went a lot faster then normal with Derek's help.

"Thanks Hot stuff. I appreciate the help" Penelope said

"No problem. I figure the faster I can get you out of here, the faster I can try and give you the Chirstmas you deserve. A Happiness that you said you haven't had in years." Derek told Penelope, it was clear that Derek's heart broke a little to Penelope's confession and he wasn't sure that the plan he had in place would be enough to give her the happiness he deserved.

"Well, the chairs are stacked, the coffee and tea pot washed out. Looks like the only thing left is to pack up the left over cookies and take out the trash." Penelope smiled at Derek. There was something about what he said in group that really got to her, and before she left she wanted to ask him about it. "Derek, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, you know that!" Derek responded moving to get the two garbage bags together and closed out.

"It almost sounded to me like you felt guilty for living longer then your father, is that true?" Penelope didn't beat around the bus this time did she.

"At times I do. But I also know there is so much I have left to do. So while I wonder why he was taken so early and I see how much we have each others back out in the field and it pisses me off when I remember that he had no back-up" Derek's tone went to an angry one that he didn't realize was still there.

"But he was off duty, you were with him. Derek, sweetie, I am sure other would have had his back if they were there. And before you go there, you were only a child you could be his back up." Penelope walked over to Derek and pulled him into a hug.

"I know Baby Girl, or at least my brain knows. But even after all these years I still question things."

"So do I, I get it Baby boy, and I am here for you. All the time you know that right?" Penelope told him not releasing him from her hug.

"I know. That is just one of the reasons I love you." Derek's tone eased up and he gave Penelope a kiss on the forehead. "Well with this being such an uplifting event for Christmas, I am not sure if what I have planned for you next is going to compare," He laughed has he got pushed away from the hug was was just held in at that comment as Penelope gave him a playful scowl. "But come on. Just put the cookies in the garbage bag and lets get out of her and our day moving in a positive direction."

Penelope followed Derek's suggestion grabbed the bags of extra cookies in one hand, the second garbage bag in her other hand and headed for the door. Derek followed Penelope close behind, she loved watching her walk, and if everything went well he would need to figure out how to unwrap her as fast as possible and that zipper in the back of her dress stared him down, telling him exactly how he would do it.