Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Lucky woman.
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT FOR MATURE READERS. IF YOU ARE BELOW THE AGE OF CONSENT OR ARE OFFENDED BY ADULT CONTENT, STOP READING NOW, GO DIRECTLY TO CHAPTER TWELVE, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200… YOU CAN RETURN NEXT WEEK FOR CHAPTER TWELVE. JUST PRETEND CHAPTER ELEVEN IS A FADE-TO-BLACK. IF THIS APPLIES TO YOU - CLOSE THIS WINDOW - NO PEEKING!
Playlist for Chapter Eleven – "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails (WARNING EXPLICIT LYRICS), "Protège Moi" by Placebo, "Sadeness, Pt. 1" by Enigma, and "Black Swan" by Thom Yorke (WARNING EXPLICIT LYRICS)
Yes, I know, lots of songs for a really short chapter. They all help with the imagery. Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but quality over quantity…
This chapter takes place during the week of Chapter Ten, starting with Tuesday night after Jacob spills the beans to Bella, and ending on Sunday night, when Jacob is allegedly "sick".
Chapter Eleven - Protège Moi
~Edward~
I watched Bella eating dinner with Charlie and her friend Jacob. A not-so-small part of me was jealous of Jacob's position, and wished desperately that I could be human again, sitting and eating with Bella.
When they had finished their dinner, Jacob left to return to the reservation, and Charlie watched sports on the television while Bella cleaned up the dishes from the meal. I could hear her humming a tune, and after a few bars I recognized Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" and my breath hitched in surprise. I struggled to connect my thoughts as the lyrics twisted chaotically in a whirlwind through my mind.
I barred the more explicit words of the chorus from my thoughts as something I couldn't even consider, and concentrated on specific lines within the verses.
…You let me complicate you… My presence in Bella's life only made hers more difficult.
…I've got no soul to sell… My soul had been lost along with my humanity nearly a century ago.
…My whole existence is flawed… Indeed.
…You make me perfect… I desperately wanted to be, for Bella.
…Help me become somebody else… I don't want to be a monster.
…You are the reason I stay alive… Absolutely and without question.
The rest of the week passed quickly. Every waking moment spent with Bella was bliss, and watching her as she slept and listening to her sleep-talking provided a glimpse of her thoughts that I wasn't afforded when she was conscious. She had slept peacefully most nights, with very few words that I could distinguish. She did say my name several times, sighing each time. It made my frozen heart flutter. The only other thing that stood out was when she laughed and said, "Jake, you're an idiot. There's no such thing as vampires!" and then rolled over on her stomach, the pillow muffling whatever else she had to say.
Yes, Bella, Jacob Black is an idiot, but he's right about this topic…
Sunday night was different. Bella was having a nightmare, writhing, her limbs flailing in her twisted sheets. I couldn't stand to sit by and watch her suffering. I had to comfort her so I quickly slipped through her window into her bedroom. The second I was in her room, I was assaulted by it. The smell… Mother of God… the smell. It filled the room with its mesmerizing essence. It was definitely not her typical scent that I was accustomed to. It was rich and dark and overwhelming and I was drowning in it, paralyzed by it. It permeated every molecule of my being and made every cell harder, if such a thing were even possible. I was completely frozen in place, hypnotized by the scene in front of me, unable to tear myself away even if the entire Volturi guard had been vaulting through the window after me.
She was dreaming, but it soon became readily apparent that she wasn't having a nightmare. Her breathing was heavy and erratic, punctuated by gasps and moans. Her heart was pounding and her skin was covered in a light sheen of perspiration. Soft waves of mahogany hair were spread across her pillow, and damp tendrils clung to her face and neck. I desperately wished I could hear her thoughts. What I wouldn't give to know exactly what she was dreaming about…
"Edward, please… I need to feel you."
Oh my God. How can I resist THAT?
"Unf…Yes… so good…" She stilled for a moment.
What am I doing Bella? I wasn't sure if I was asking what I was doing in her room, or in her dream.
"Edward… please… harder," she panted, followed by another moan and more writhing.
"Oh! Don't stop… that's perfect… Edward, yes!"
Aaaah…
I couldn't think. My mental faculties completely escaped me. They had long since checked out and were in another time zone by this point. I could only watch as her hands fisted tightly in the sheets and her body arched up off her little bed as she tensed and trembled for what seemed to be an eternity.
"Oh God, Edward… YES!" she cried out as her climax washed over her and she collapsed back to the bed.
Sweet Jesus. It was the most beautiful, and definitely the most erotic, thing I had ever seen.
A groan escaped my lips as the intoxicating scent grew even stronger. I was so hard I could have cut glass; the zipper on my jeans gave up in protest and broke.
For decades I had been subjected to the constant onslaught of the thoughts of hormonal teenagers by day and my amorous siblings and parents by night, but I never had any idea of what it was really like. I had never felt physical need for anything other than blood. Until now. Now I was overcome by blinding want, acute need. I had never wanted anything as badly as I wanted to feel Bella's body writhing beneath me, to feel how tight and wet she would be around me. I longed to have her body intertwined with mine, clinging to me as I pounded into her, bringing us both to the edge of oblivion only to fall over and over again. Crushing desire sang through my empty veins and I wanted nothing more than to give her what she so obviously desired.
I felt my muscles convulsing in waves of ecstasy and wetness spreading on my boxers, my growl vibrating through my chest as my orgasm ripped through me. It went on for what seemed like hours, until my trembling knees buckled and I collapsed to the floor. I hadn't even been aware that I was touching myself until after the fact.
Nothing I had ever experienced in my century-plus existence could compare to that sensation. I finally got it. Now I understood the fascination that occupied the minds of those around me most of the time. Oh. My. God. It was better than blood. So much better.
The fog finally lifted somewhat and my higher intellect began to function again. The first thought that crossed my mind was that Charlie would have heard Bella or me and come to investigate. I listened for his footsteps but only heard his resonating snores. The second thought was what the hell have I done? I should have left the instant that I realized what was happening. It was completely inappropriate for me to be in Bella's room while she was having an erotic dream about me, and far more inappropriate for me to participate, even if only from a safe distance via fantasy.
I jumped back through Bella's window and hit the ground running at my top speed, filled with shame for my impropriety. What I had done was unspeakable and unpardonable. God help me! How would Bella ever forgive me if she had known of my voyeuristic interlude in her bedroom while she slept?
I had to find a way to keep this monster chained and locked in the basement. I couldn't allow myself to act on these feelings for Bella. Giving in to my baser instincts would only cause her harm. I would have to redouble my efforts to protect her from the monster within me.
~Bella~
I had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation. For starters, I was naked. Edward was with me, and he was naked as well. Naked Edward added to the equation definitely equaled dream. That, or I had died and gone to heaven.
Edward was wrapped around me, his hands seemingly everywhere all at once. I was surrounded by his intoxicating, delicious scent. He was kissing me, our lips moving together, and then his tongue darted out to lick my bottom lip where I had chewed on it repeatedly from constant frustration. I opened my mouth to feel his tongue ravaging mine, his mouth possessing me, tasting the sweetness of him, his hands blazing trails of icy heat across my body. I was lost in him, in the sensations he was bringing out in me.
His mouth was on my neck, licking and sucking lightly at the tender, sensitive spot he had discovered below my ear. A tingly sensation radiated from the spot down through my body, and concentrated in my abdomen. He nibbled his way down the side of my neck to my shoulder, across my collar bone to the hollow of my throat, and I shivered with excitement. I had never felt anything like this, and I definitely didn't want it to stop.
I heard a moan fill the room. Was that me? Yep, it sure was. I couldn't find it in myself to feel embarrassed.
His hands were on my chest now, learning the curves of my breasts, his thumbs gently brushing across the hard tips, sending jolts of electricity straight through me to the junction of my legs.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, played on a loop through my lust-addled brain. I might have been chanting it aloud as well, I couldn't really tell and at that point I didn't even care.
Moving lower, his hands gained confidence as they explored and mapped the contours of my body. His long fingers ghosted across my overheated flesh, followed by his lips and tongue. My hands were tangled in his soft, silky hair, and every nerve ending in my body was screaming for more. He ran his hands down my hips, and then made the circuit back along the inside of my thighs. I gasped as he made contact where I had so desperately wanted his touch. His fingers danced through my soaked folds and slipped into my overheated core. The flames leapt into a full inferno and I knew if I had to wait much longer for him that I would go mad from desire.
"Edward, please… I need to feel you," I whimpered.
Our eyes met and I could see the same desire within my own mirrored in his liquid gold gaze. He moved over me slowly and hovered there, prolonging my agony just a little bit longer, and then positioned himself above my entrance. "Unf… " I gasped as he pushed into me in one swift motion. "Yes!" I had never felt complete until that moment, but I knew unequivocally that I was his and that he was a part of me, that together our two souls created one entity.
"So good…" We both held still for a moment to appreciate the sensation of being one.
We began moving together and the sensations rocketed through my body, from my center out through my fingers and toes. The friction where our bodies were joined was amazing, but I needed more.
"Edward… please… harder," I managed to breathe out between his thrusts.
His eyes darkened and that heart-stopping crooked smile appeared on his face. He withdrew until he was almost completely out and suddenly drove back into me, and my eyes rolled back in my head.
"Oh!" I cried out. "Don't stop!"
He repeated the action, faster and more forcefully and I couldn't help but moan at the indescribable pleasure it elicited. If he kept this up I was literally going to explode.
"That's perfect… Edward, yes."
My hips were rising to meet his and we set a frantic tempo as we raced toward our peak. My legs were clamped around the back of his thighs and I could feel his muscles tensing as he got closer to release. Every part of me was taut as a bow string, and I felt the heat building inside my center, knowing that it was about to erupt. His lips crashed down on mine and that was all I needed to push me over the edge. It felt as if I had dissociated from my body and I was hurtling through a void beyond time and space.
"Oh God, Edward… YES!" I cried out, blissful spasms crashing like waves over my body as I came, clenching tightly around him. He emptied himself into me with a groan and collapsed over me, panting.
We struggled for a few moments to catch our breath, and then curled up side by side, arms encircling each other and legs entwined. He placed soft kisses all over my face, and I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was where I was meant to be.
"I love you, Edward," I said as he tucked a damp strand of my hair behind my ear.
"As I love you," he whispered.
I let out a deep sigh of contentment, and snuggled closer against his chest.
A/N: Happy Thursday everyone! I hope you all had a great week.
*Raises head from behind hiding place and shyly waves* So there you have it – my first lemon ever, and boy was I nervous about posting it. MIF has been such a sweet little story so far, but this is Fanfiction folks! We don't have to do the whole "fade-to-black" thing if we don't want to! (Woohoo!) I've been waiting impatiently with my fingers crossed hoping that it didn't disappoint… (Again, I'm reminded of one of our old team mottos: "Try not to suck so bad!")
I would like to take a moment to point out that yes, Edward and Bella are both virgins (STILL - even after this chapter!). Edward had never even had the SLIGHTEST interest in anything carnal up to this point (especially Tanya's propositions, ewww - heaven only knows where that thing's been). He had been "exposed" to other people's thoughts about sex, but it never did anything for him. Pretty much the same with Bella, there were no guys that remotely interested her, so her hormones hadn't kicked in until now.
Random story fact #4: WebMD reports that one study found about 33% of women have some kind of sleeping orgasm. In the study, the younger women reported it more often than the older women. Dr. David Delvin and Christine Webber report: Women don't do this very often, but it does happen - especially at times when they're 'highly charged' sexually. When we were writing our book The Big 'O' (Hodder: 1995), a sizeable number of women reported to us that their first ever orgasm was in a dream.
Thanks always to my beta and bestest, Christine (A Little Distracted) for putting up with my paranoia about my lemon-writing. Without her, I would be rocking back and forth curled up in the fetal position in a corner somewhere, muttering quietly to myself… She is supposed to be finishing Chapter 7 of a vamp fic that she hasn't posted yet, that you good readers are being deprived of. Get to it woman! The whip has officially been cracked! (And you like it, I know you do...)
I'd like to shout out to FangMom, for pre-reading this chapter and providing a running commentary that was more fun to read than the chapter was. You had me rolling! Your cigarettes are in the mail!
Fic recs for the week:
"Spy Games" by Jenn1987
"The Hunt" by AcrossTheSkyInStars
"Be Somebody" (a steamy one-shot) by MsRobPattzMasen
Reviewers will get a teaser for Chapter 12…
*Ducks back down into hiding position*