Hey guys! Sorry I couldn't update yesterday! I had a ton of math hw that I had to do along with watching orphan black (new obsession! btw does anyone know when that returns!? I would love to know! PM if you do! Or better yet, leave it in a review :)) So, I know it's been a while and I have probably lost a lot (if not all) of my story followers, and that's my greatest loss. I told you guys I would update and I didn't and I am beyond sorry. For a more in depth and more boring excuse, you can go to the previous chapter I posted yesterday. Alright, enough with my rambling. Please read, enjoy, and review! Love you!

I do not own iCarly.

"We've agreed to get a divorce."

"You're lying." I replied back immediately, not taking a second to think about it. He was lying. He had to be lying. Why was he lying? I didn't know. But in all honesty, I didn't particularly care. I just wanted him to stop.

"Allie . . . I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. I wanted to tell you and your sister together -"

"SHUT UP! Stop lying!" I couldn't see it but I knew my face was burning red because it felt burning hot. My hands were shaking and liquid was coming out of every pore of my face; tears out of my eyes, dripping down to my nose and sweat all over my body. My body was trembling so hard that I was pretty sure my dad could physically see it because he placed his hands on my shoulders to steady me but I violently pushed them off and refused to look him in the eye, no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted him to see how angry and frightened and sad it made me so maybe he would change his mind. But I also knew, by the tone of his voice, he was hurting too. And if I looked into his eyes, I would be able to see that hurt, and to see the strongest person in my life break down would be the death of me. So I stared at my feet and pretended that I was being brave by being the exact opposite. "This isn't happening. Stop telling me lies. Please." My voice cracked.

"Alaynah, I wouldn't lie about something like this." He stroked my arm and I was too exhausted to push it off, no matter how much it pissed me off.

I shook my head. "No. No, dad. Stop it."

"Al -"

"I can fix it, okay!? I can go talk to mom . . . an – and things . . . things will be better . . . okay?" I was beginning to choke on my own words, physically and emotionally. I knew I wouldn't actually be able to fix the mess that hadn't been cleaned up in years and so did my dad because he looked anything but convinced.

"Allie, you can't fix us, alright? We can't even fix us. I know this is not what you want to hear and believe me I don't want to be telling you, but it's the truth. And . . . the truth . . . sucks." Never had truer words been spoken.

My knees suddenly felt weak and the only thing I could do was lean into my father. I didn't want to hug him, I didn't even want to touch him, but as soon as his arms wrapped around me I couldn't help but burst out into tears. My arms went around his waist and his around my shoulders. The tears were coming so fast and hard that almost immediately there was a wet spot on my dad's shirt. But I didn't care. I had been trying so hard lately to bottle up all of my emotions; about Shawn, about my parents . . . about the pregnancy. I was aware of all the situations happening, I just figured if I ignored my own feelings about them, it would somehow be better. Just like Shawn. I knew I shouldn't have slept with him. I knew it wasn't going to do any good. But I ignored those thoughts. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you end up pregnant at 15.

I hadn't realized how long I had been crying until my dad shifted his feet. He was probably tired of standing and holding up my entire body weight. I retreated a bit and looked up at him. He was looking down at me with sad eyes, the saddest eyes I had ever seen him wear. I wiped the remaining tears from my face and stood in front of him. "Who's idea was it?" I asked, suddenly very calm.

He blinked. "What?"

"Who's idea was it?" I asked again, raising my voice and getting more frustrated by the second.

"Idea for what, Alaynah?"

"To get a divorce!" My calm composure that had been hanging on by a thread broke. I didn't want to be calm. I wanted to be mad. I just didn't want to be mad at the wrong person.

"Allie, it was a mutual decision-"

"That's bullshit!"

"Don't talk to me like that!" My dad said, getting upset.

"Ground me then! Okay? Ground me. I don't care. I'm basically grounded for my whole life anyways." He looked at me with sad eyes again and I almost forgot why I was yelling. Almost. "Who's idea was it?"

He sighed, knowing he had been defeated. He was as tired as fighting as I had been, but as a teenager, naturally, I had more energy for it. "I guess, if you want to get technical, it was your mom's…" He drifted off, probably thinking about the first time she had mentioned it. I had been there. I had heard her scream she wanted a divorce behind the bedroom door. I had heard her scream she didn't love him anymore.

I turned away, willing myself not to cry anymore. I looked back up at him. "I knew it! She's such a bitch!"

"Hey! Don't talk about your mother like that!" He fiercely pointed his finger at me. I was going to yell back at him about how she deserves it but I had a better idea.

"Take me home. Take me home, now."

He had a puzzled look on his face, as if to ask me why, but seeing as how I had never wished to be at home for the past few weeks, and him being aware of this, made him not. He grabbed the keys to Sam's Volvo and quickly asked if he could borrow the car. After she said yes (along with various threats if he damaged it), we headed home.

I heard him talking. He was talking, right? I glanced over at him. His lips were moving, so yeah, I guess he was talking. To me, at me, or himself, I couldn't tell. My head was filled with possible conversations I could have with my mom.

I could be upfront and cold:

"You selfish, cold-hearted bitch! How could you be so cruel and end our family!"

"Go to your room!" Locks my bedroom door and swallows the key.

No, thanks. I could be calm and rational:

"Mom, please just talk to dad. He loves you and you love him too. Don't break up our family."

"Okay, sweetheart. Okay." She pulls me in for a hug, soft music fades in while screen fades black.

I shook my head violently, pushing away the lifetime movie ending I had imagined. I continued looking out the window. I had driven down this road plenty of times. Hell, this was the street I had actually driven on for the first time. My dad had taken me and he was scared out of his mind that I was going to crash. It didn't even seem like a driving lesson. It seemed like he let me get behind the wheel and it was a contest to see who could yell the loudest and how long I could go without killing the both of us. He even bet me ten dollars to whoever woke up from their coma first. As scary as that memory was, it was a memorable one. It was a happy one. The more I thought about it, I hadn't had any happy memories in a long time. Every time I tried to think of one, only bad ones popped up; My first time, the break up, the pregnancy, the divorce. Everything in my life was bad. And if my parents got a divorce, nothing would change. More bad memories would come; court hearings, dad moving out, sad weekend visits. But if they stayed together, maybe I could start having some good memories again; my parents getting back together, having support for the baby, having the baby in a happy home. I just had no idea how I was going to make that happen. My dad was right. If they couldn't fix them, there was no way in hell I could, especially since I was the one who screwed them up in the first place.

As we pulled up to the house, the sun was still halfway in the sky. On any other day, I would lay out on the back porch with Kailey and count the stars as they appeared. I wondered if I would ever have those moments again after I had the baby.

"They're probably eating dinner." My dad said after he parked. Neither of us had made any attempt to get out of the car. I knew I'd eventually have to, seeing as how I pretty much demanded he take me here. But my plan had been for him to get out with me. That was clearly not his intention. He didn't unbuckle his seatbelt as I did and although the car was in park, it was still on with the keys still in the ignition. He was going to leave. Again.

"Yeah, probably . . ."

He sighed. "Well, you should probably get in there. Your mom is going to be mad at me as it is for keeping you past dinner-"

"She has no right to be mad at you. She's the one trying to ruin our family."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it was a-"

"Mutual decision, I know! You can feed that crap to Kailey but I'm not buying it!" At the mention of Kailey's name, he froze.

"Oh god, Kailey . . ." He sat back in his seat and rubbed his eyes with his palms. "How am I going to tell her?" He asked rhetorically.

Then it hit me.

I unlocked the car door manually and bolted to the house. "Allie!" My dad called behind me. I could hear his door opening and him slamming it as he got out and started running toward me. I knew he was fast and I knew if the door was locked he would catch up to me and stop me from doing what I was about to do. As I ran up to the door as fast as I could, I hoped and prayed it was unlocked. I knew it was unlikely, seeing as how my mother was very cautious about these things and always insisted everything be locked at all times, just to be safe. But maybe she had been distracted with all of the things going on in her life that she hadn't been paying attention to the little things around the house. I knew she hadn't cleaned the living room in weeks and I was pretty sure we had a rat living under one of the two week old paper plates that had once carried pizza. I think Kailey named him Sylvester. So, with that hope, I grabbed onto the front door handle.

It was unlocked.

Carly's POV

"Is there any lemonade left?" Kailey asked from the fridge. From where I was standing, all I could see of her was her waist down. The rest of her body was buried in the fridge. She was so small, so innocent. I was dreading the days she turned into a teenager. Or worse, her sister.

"I don't know. You're the one in the fridge. If it's not there, then we're out. I'll grab some tomorrow after work." I told her. She shrugged and opted for some apple juice instead. For the third night in a row, we were having spaghetti. I hadn't been in the mood to cook anything else, and the only thing Kailey could make was ice, and I was pretty sure she could find some way to burn it. She has managed to burn everything else while deciding that she didn't want spaghetti anymore. I felt bad that I was taking out my misery on her but I knew she could handle it. She was my soldier. And to be honest, she was the only thing holding me up at this point. Alaynah had been too distant and Freddie had been pretty much nonexistent. God, I missed my family. As screwed up as we were I missed them so goddamned much. I missed coming home and asking about Alaynah's day, even though I knew she didn't want to tell me. I missed helping Kailey do her homework even though I knew she didn't need my help, she just wanted to talk to me, which made up for Alaynah wanting me to leave her alone. But most of all I missed Freddie. I missed the way he whispered in my ear when he didn't want to the kids to hear what he was saying. Even if it was something non-sexy, like one of them having a doctor's appointment we weren't going to tell them about until the day of, I still loved the feeling I got from him being so close to me. Or the way he kissed me after a really long day at work. It was a way of saying he had a horrible day but now that I'm here with you, everything is okay. And I missed the way I fit perfectly into him when we curled up in bed late at night. With him gone, the bed was cold, and lonely, and I hated that feeling. Sometimes Kailey would come in and sleep with me, but it didn't make me feel better. If anything, it made me feel worse. Rolling over in the middle of the night and feeling a sleeping body next to me always got me excited, until I realized it wasn't my husband. I was counting the days until I would roll over and it would be him again.

Kailey poured herself a glass and joined me at the table. She grabbed my hand for grace and, by habit, grabbed the mid air that filled the chair where Alaynah usually sat. And as if by cue, I grabbed for Freddie's ghost as well. We both sadly glanced at each other. Kailey was about to say something, but I grabbed her free hand with mine and I said grace.

"How are you feeling today?" The doctor had informed me that she had caught a stomach bug that had been floating around the school.

"Better. I don't want to go back to school though." She twirled her spaghetti on her fork.

"Would you rather be stuck here cleaning the living room?"

She looked over at it, cringed, then turned back to me. "No."

"I didn't think-"

All of a sudden, the door slammed open, along with a panting Alaynah, followed by her father. Even though I saw Alaynah first, my eyes were glued on Freddie. He looked exactly the same as he had when I had visited him; same unwashed clothes, same stubble, same sad look on his face. He returned my stare. The look on his face was sort of apologetic. I wondered if he was going to apologize and make everything okay. But then I saw Alaynah start to open her mouth and then I knew what the look was for. He was apologizing in advance for what she was about to say. It was the same look I had when Kailey broke the Wii while we were playing Just Dance and she had to go tell him that all of the money we had saved up to buy the girls a gift they had so desperately wanted had just been put to waste. I wondered what terrible thing Alaynah was going to say next that would make Freddie have that exact look on his face. I braced myself.

"Kailey!" Alaynah suddenly exclaimed.

Kailey looked up at her sister, confused. "What?" She asked innocently.

"I need you to do something for me. Now!" Freddie sternly grabbed Alaynah's arm and quietly said don't, but she shoved him off. She was beyond mad and I was beyond scared of what was about to come out of her mouth.

"What?" Kailey said again.

Alaynah took a deep breath. "I need you to tell Mom and Dad that getting a divorce is a terrible idea."

"Alaynah Marie!" I screamed, getting up from my seat.

Kailey sucked in a breath. Her blue eyes grew wide with fear and I could swear they were already welling up with tears. She looked at me. She was so beautiful. "Divorce?" Her little, fragile voice cracked. "You're getting a divorce?"

I didn't want to answer her. I didn't want to break her heart. So I redirected my attention to Alaynah. "What the hell is the matter with you? You don't get to just barge in here and-"

"ARE YOU GETTING A DIVORCE?" Kailey screamed. She was standing on her chair and tears were dripping off of her chin. Alaynah, Freddie, and I stared at her on shock. We had never heard her speak with so much force before. She had always been the quiet one, especially when compared to Alaynah. While we remained quiet, Kailey grew more frustrated. "ANSWER ME!"

Freddie stepped forward. "Okay, I know this is tough news. I get it, Kailey. But you can't just throw a tantrum. That's not going to get you anywhere." Freddie was trying to stay calm even though I knew all he wanted was to hold her and reassure her that everything was going to be okay, even though he knew it wasn't. He stepped closer and closer to the chair, offering her a hand to help her down. When we passed me I sucked in a breath. His hand that he wasn't offering to Kailey had brushed mine and I felt a shiver; a good shiver.

When he reached Kailey, his hand was fully extended. Kailey was still furious and she was breathing extremely fast and hard. At first when she reached back out to Freddie, it looked like she was going to take his hand. But swiftly, she slapped it out of the way, climbed down from her chair, and ran to her room, slamming her door as a final act of the night. We both glared at Alaynah.

"Explain yourself!" I yelled, having no patience any longer.

She was speechless. "I - I didn't . . . I didn't think she was take it like that. So . . . so harshly." She looked bewildered, as if she had just seen a ghost.

"I told you not to do that! She needed to hear it from me or your mother!" Freddie exclaimed. At that moment we both looked into each other's eyes and it took a lot of will power to break away. "Why would you do that Alaynah? Why would you want to hurt your sister like that?"

"Because I knew if she were hurt, it would hurt you guys too!" She blurted out angrily. She turned away.

"What?" I whispered.

Alaynah sighed. "I knew," she took another deep breath, fighting back tears, "if I told her that you guys were getting a divorce, you guys would see how much it hurt her, and you would change your minds." Her hand flew up to her forehead and she paced back and forth between the living room archway and the foyer, which was where both Freddie and I were standing next to each other. "I didn't know that she would have a fit about it."

"What did you expect, Alaynah? Unicorns and butterflies? She eight! Kailey sees us as the best things in the world right now. She wants to eat what we eat, go where we go . . . be like we are. She doesn't know we're flawed. She doesn't know that we have issues just like everybody else." Freddie said gently. I wanted so badly to just reach out and touch him, just a little bit. I grabbed my left arm with my right and stayed still.

"Well she should! If she doesn't, she'll grow up just like me!"

"Just like what?" I asked curiously.

"She'll go around thinking that love and marriage and relationships are perfect. Nothing bad ever goes wrong and everyone is always happy. I didn't know the truth about my conception or birth until I was twelve. You guys held out on me for twelve years! Do you know how much a person can assume about love in twelve years? A lot, is the answer to the question. And in all of those twelve years I saw you two as what I wanted to achieve. Until I learned about you guys. When you told me, everything turned upside down. You didn't fall in love, you were forced into it. You didn't wait to have a kid, you rushed into it."

"We didn't have a choice -"

"You always have a choice." Allie said quietly. "My point is, after I found out the truth, I believed that you two weren't really in love. You were faking , for us." I opened my mouth to object, but she continued, cutting me off. "And then I met Shawn. He was dangerous, hot, and everything I knew you guys would hate. That wasn't the only reason I dated him, obviously, but it was a part of it. Anyways, while in the relationship, I thought I was in love. Which was why . . ." She looked at Freddie, then looked down at her stomach. She took a deep breath. "Which was I why I chose to sleep with him." Freddie looked away, almost disgusted. "I know you guys don't like the fact that I did, but it happened. And I'm sorry. I really am. But that's not the point of what I'm trying to tell you. What I'm trying to say is . . . my perspective has changed." Freddie and I looked at her, confused. We heard a shuffle in the background; Kailey. She was probably barricading her door. I ignored it.

"What do you mean?" Freddie asked.

"I mean . . . I thought what Shawn and I had was love. Clearly, it wasn't. I mean, he left me to raise a baby alone for god sake! But what you two have, that's love."

"Alaynah-"

"No! Don't you dare deny it! I see it! I know you guys fight; a little more than you probably should. But it's still there. And you can tell by just the little things you do for each other. Like dad, you always hold the door for mom, whether it be at home, or a store, or a restaurant, etcetera, etcetera." Freddie glanced at me. I held my stare on Alaynah, listening intently. "And mom, you always kiss dad on the cheek when saying thank you. And you always cook dad's favorite meal when he's having a bad day." She looked back and forth between us quickly. "I know you guys love each other. And you know it too. I just . . . I don't want you to give that up . . . I don't want you to give our family up." Her voice cracked when she said up.

We all stood in silence for a moment. We didn't know what to say. What did you say after a speech like that? I looked at Freddie again, then turned back to Alaynah. "Go to your room."

I could tell she was expecting some gratification for the speech and she would get it eventually, but I would not let her get way with embarrassing us and humiliating her sister. "But mom, I-"

"No." Freddie interrupted. "She's right, go to your room." He stared at the ground while he said this.

Alaynah grunted, accepting defeat and obviously suffering from sleep deprivation, stomped her feet all the way down the hallway to her room, where, just like her sister, she slammed the door.

I quickly ran to my bedroom, pretty sure I was going to suffer from an anxiety attack. I had planned to close the door and let Freddie let himself out and leave to go back to Sam's, but unexpectedly, he followed me. He planted his between the door and the frame, enabling me from closing it. I didn't feel like fighting, so I just let him in, without saying anything. I let out a deep breath and collapsed on the floor and buried my head in between my knees. After a short while, I heard Freddie lower himself next to me and slowly but surely, I felt his arm drape over my body. Instantly, I leaned into him.

"Can we . . . can we please just pretend," I tilted my head up so my voice wasn't muffled by his shirt, "that we aren't fighting? Can we just pretend that this mess we call a life is on pause?"

He looked at me, sad and serious.

"Please, Freddie?" My voice cracked. "It's just you and me, against the world." I kissed his cheek. The tears dripping down my face had mingled with his. I tasted salt as I kissed him. He closed his eyes, soaking in the moment.

"Against the world." He repeated. He quickly took off his shirt and lifted me to the bed. You and me, against the world.

Worth the wait!? Intense, right!? And yay, Carly and Freddie reconcile! At least for a little while lol so lemme know what you thought, give me your guys' predictions for what you think will happen in future chapters (with Alaynah's baby, Shawn, Carly and Freddie; I love hearing what you guys think!) I love you guys so much and again, I am so so so sorry for the long wait. I will try my best and update next weekend. I will not make you guys wait longer than two weekendd, I promise! Have a great night (or day, depending on what time you read this)!:):):)3