Morgan peered through the crack of his daughter's bedroom door, the little girl had finally fallen asleep, looking as peaceful as she could be. Emily, on the other hand, was not so at peace. Tears were silently falling from her eyes as she tenderly stroked Kylie's hair; it didn't take much for him to know who had made her cry again...
He hadn't meant to say what he had – he knew she wasn't the kind of person who would play favourites when it came to their children. She loved them all the same and she was only trying to be a good mother. She certainly did not need him to doubt that.
She quickly wiped away her tears when the door slowly swung open. "How is she?" he asked quietly, noticing that she refused to meet his eyes.
"She's fine," she replied curtly, "Fever's gone down and she's asleep."
He settled at the foot of the little bed and sighed when Emily still refused to look at him...not that he could blame her. "Emily, can we talk? Please?"
"Not now," she said flatly.
"Please," he said again, "We need to talk about what happened."
"I don't want to wake Kylie."
"Don't shut me out, Em," he whispered, "I know I hurt you by what I said, but I didn't mean it... Just let me explain myself."
"I don't want to talk to you now," she said, glaring at him, "I'm still mad."
"I know you're still mad and you have every right to be, but please," he begged, "We have to talk about this now. We don't want Kylie to know that we're fighting, right? Please, Em. Give me a chance."
She glared at him again before turning her attention to their little girl who was sleeping peacefully. Carefully, she shifted the girl's head from her lap to the pillow, pulling up the covers to make sure she would be warm. She pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before making her way to their bedroom with Morgan following close behind.
"What do you want to say?" she asked flatly, sitting at the edge of their bed as he closed the door.
"I want to say I'm sorry," he said for what felt like the umpteenth time, "You can be mad and you don't have to forgive me, but please just believe me. I know this is hard for you, but it's hard for me too – you have to remember, I'm not the same man you married...I'm trying, but I'm going to make mistakes until I get there. What I said was a mistake and I know that..."
"And what do you want me to say? I don't forgive you, not yet," she said, "What you said hurt me... I thought even if you don't remember what happened in the last five years, you should know I'm not that kind of person."
"I know you're not," he said insistently, moving closer to her, "I'm sorry I said that. I would take it back if I could."
"But you can't..." she murmured, biting back tears – she didn't want to cry again. "I know you're trying and I know it's hard for you, but I'm so tired, Derek... Everyday, I'm worried about you...what if you never remember? What if Kylie knows you forgot about her? It would only break her heart and she doesn't deserve that..."
"So, what are you saying?" he asked quietly, "If I don't remember, does that change things?"
"Maybe," she sighed, "I don't know... I love you – I'll always love you – but later on, when you're doing late night feedings and diaper changes and can't remember wanting this, are you going to feel like you were forced into this?"
"Of course not," he insisted, "I'll do the right thing and take care of my children – you know that."
"That's not what I mean; doing the right thing is not the same as not resenting us because of it..." She finally gave up holding back her tears and let them fall freely. "You're a good man, Derek. I love you for that and nothing is ever going to change how I feel about you, but you don't remember anything we had together. You don't remember loving me or having Kylie or wanting another baby... What happens if you never remember? What if you realize this isn't what you wanted and leave? What do I tell our kids then?"
"Is that what was on your mind all this time?" he asked, hurt clear in his voice, "You think I would leave you and our children just because I think this isn't what I wanted?"
"I don't know what to think anymore, Derek..."
He shifted closer to her, brushing her tears away with his thumb gently. "Don't ever think about me leaving because that's never going to happen," he whispered, "I might not remember having a family with you, but I told you, I do know that I love you. I know being with you and Kylie is where I'm supposed to be. Having another baby on the way isn't going to change any of that, this little one will only make me happier. Trust me, please."
"I do trust you," she said genuinely, "More than anyone." She sighed, leaning in to his touch. "But sometimes... I'm not sure I know how to do this."
"We'll get through it," he assured, "The sky always looks darkest before the dawn. Just promise me you won't lose hope, that you won't lose faith in me – in us."
"How can you be so optimistic? Things seem so bad and just when you think they can't get worse, they do... How are you still holding on to hope?"
"Because I have to," he whispered, "I have to believe that things are going to get better, that this isn't what the rest of our lives will be like. Promise me you won't give up..."
He saw he hesitation in her eyes and pulled her into his arms. "Do this for Kylie and our new baby... They need you. I need you."
"I promise," she whispered after a long moment, "I won't give up..."
"Thank you." He kissed away her tears, then murmured against her lips, "I do love you," before kissing her gently.
He thought he might have heard her mumble something in reply, but the words were lost as she hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest. When she pulled back, she said softly, "I'm sorry..."
"You don't have to apologize," he said seriously, pulling her in for another gentle kiss.
"Mommy?" came a tiny voice from the doorway. "Are you crying?"
"No," she said lamely, quickly brushing her tears away.
"You're lying," Kylie said, looking at her pointedly as Morgan helped her climb onto the bed. "Why are you crying, Mommy?" She looked at her father for a moment, then turned back to Emily, "Was Daddy not nice to you?"
"No," Emily insisted, "Sometimes, Mommys and Daddys just don't..."
Morgan interrupted, "Yes... I said some mean things – that weren't true – to Mommy and it made her sad."
Kylie affixed him with her best stern glare and he was almost taken aback by just how much it looked like Emily's 'not happy with you' glare. "That wasn't nice of you," she said seriously.
"I know," he said, playing up the guilty look, "I'm sorry."
But Kylie didn't seem convinced. "What do you think?" Emily asked the girl, "Should we send him to time-out?"
If he were honest with himself, he would have to admit that he was rather nervous waiting for the little girl's verdict. He knew he should be punished for what he had said to Emily and hurting her in the process, but it still wasn't fun to know that your own daughter – who was only four – was also mad at you.
"I think he shouldn't have dessert after dinner," she said solemnly.
He suspected that, in her mind, that was a worse punishment. But he played along nonetheless. "No fair!" he pouted.
"When you're bad, you don't get dessert," the girl insisted firmly, "And then you learn to be nice to Mommy."
He shot Emily a raised eyebrow and she just shrugged as if there was nothing she could do. "Okay..." he sighed dramatically.
Kylie smiled triumphantly and patted him on the arm reassuringly. "And say you're sorry."
He tried to resist rolling his eyes at his daughter's little power-trip as he once again apologized to his wife. When Kylie wasn't looking, he mouthed, 'She gets this from you...' but unfortunately, the little girl caught it. "Are you not being nice to Mommy again, Daddy?" she asked.
Emily bit her cheek to keep herself from laughing aloud when she caught the surprised look on Morgan's face. "No," she smiled, saving him from their daughter, "Daddy's being nice. He's just reminding Mommy that it's time to make dinner."
The little girl seemed to believe that answer, which lead Morgan to let out a quiet sigh of relief. "Thank you," he whispered to Emily, "And I really am sorry."
She squeezed his hand gently, "I know."