ღ Last time on My Last Goodbye ღ
"Haruhi, I-"
"That war is over, Takashi, stop trying to dig into it," I placed the phone down, "It's done."
"I can't," he murmured, I let out a dry laugh.
"Oh, I know. You can't because Mitsukuni almost died," I said bitterly and shook my head. He frowned.
"I need to make sure he is safe," Takashi stepped forwards and reached to touch my face. I smacked his hand away from me. "Don't you want his safety too?"
"He is safe, he is happy, you want revenge for his almost death," I looked at him, "Nothing more." Takashi stared at me, his eyes searching my face. I knew he was trying to comprehend what I was saying and why I was saying it. He was over anaylising the situation. It was something he did quite often and I could see him trying to find the direction of the conversation. He wanted to be able to see where the conversation was headed like he use to be able. I knew he wanted to make everything better for everyone, but how he was doing it? That was wrong. I played with my fingers and looked away from him. "Until you get your sick twisted idea of revenge out of your head," I whispered pulling the ring off my finger, "I don't want to marry you."
ღ Now ღ
I could see the heartbreak on his face as I placed the ring down on the table. He didn't move to stop me as I turned and walked out of the room. I grabbed my bag, tossed my blood thinners into it and a change of clothes. I also grabbed the will and letters I had stashed away before heading out into the hallway. As I pulled on my shoes, my gaze wandered back towards the living room. Takashi was no longer standing, but on his knees. One hand on the table and the other one covering his face. His body was trembling and my eyes quickly looked away from him.
Opening the door I took a deep breath before stepping out. Once I did, my emotions flooded to my eyes and they started to tear up. I wiped at them with my sleeve as I headed to the main house. Mitsukuni was practising painting in the living area, where I had to walk through. He jumped off the stool and twisted the painting around for me too see. It wasn't exactly a masterpiece, but I could tell he was proud of it. After quickly drying my eyes I nodded and smiled at him.
He frowned and stared at me as I started to walk away. His fingers grasped my sleeve as I walked past him and he stopped me from leaving. "What happened?" he asked, looking serious. I sniffed and shook my head.
"Just hormones from the pills I need to take for my heart," I replied waving my hand casually. He stared at me before hugging me tightly. I almost began to sob into his shirt if it wasn't for Satoshi bursting into the room with Chika a few minutes later. The noise startled me, causing me to pull away and turn away from him.
"Nice artwork, Mitsukuni!" Satoshi cheered, and I heard him patting Mitsukuni's back. I heard Chika make a not so nice comment, and then a smack. I took the chance of the two of them bickering to make a quick exit. Although, I didn't make it far. Satoshi jogged out of the living area a few minutes later and jumped in front of me. I could tell his happy mood quickly evaporated. "Haruhi, what's wrong?"
"Hormones," I waved my hand, lying once again. Satoshi grabbed my shoulders and stared at me for a long time. Then he let go of me and stared at the ground.
"You promised you wouldn't hurt him," Satoshi whispered, and that created a pregnant silence between us until he lifted my left hand up and stared at where the ring use to be. "Why didn't you keep your promise?"
"He's not the man I wanted to marry anymore," I replied, not meeting his eyes. I didn't want to go into detail about why he was no longer the Takashi I met back after my father was murdered. Satoshi probably didn't know his brother was planning on killing an entire gang because my uncle was a major asshole, and that didn't even begin to explain how much of a jerk he was. Part of me didn't want him to know that Takashi was planning to do that, but part of me wanted Satoshi to know that the man he looked up to was a murderer. I had never murdered anyone besides Rai in my life. My father death was Rai's fault, not mine.
After a period of silence, I couldn't take it anymore and pushed past him. He stayed stoic like Takashi had done and I took the stairs two at a time. I was going to rest up and then go talk to Sakura. There were some things I need to say, and some things I needed advice on. I actually wanted to talk to Akira, but I knew he wouldn't be as knowledgeable on the subject as Sakura would be.
My room was still gathering dust when I entered it. Everything that I had touched before had a new layer of dust on it, but you could still tell someone had disturbed it before the dust had settled. I closed the door and flicked on the light. I could see dust particles floating down and placed my bag down on my bed. One thing that had always gotten my mind of things was cleaning. This room needed it bad.
Instead of resting up, I tied my hair back and began to clean. Changing sheets, vacuuming, dusting every thing, opening the window to let fresh air in. Everything was done to clean the room up. I didn't exactly know if I would be staying here until I left for university, or if I would move out. It all depends on how my conversation with Sakura went. However, I knew she had become less and less like the kindhearted Sakura I had known. She was becoming more business-like, making everything sound like...well a load of shit.
Eventually, I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer. I had to rest up before going to see Sakura. After crawling onto the center of the bed, I closed my eyes. Memories drifted up behind my lids, my eyes opened, and I sighed. So much had happened in this bedroom. I had met Satoshi here, not officially. He had been doing a tournament when Sakura and Akira brought me here. When I woke up the next morning, he was peering at me, practically on top of me. Of course, he got the hell out of my room the moment I shrieked in confusion and terror.
A soft chuckle left my lips and I curled up. The good memories outweighed the bad. I still remembered stabbing Tamaki, and I knew he wouldn't ever fully forgive me for that. I didn't expect him too. If he did, I would be shocked, confused, but a little happy. Kaoru also proved that he was a very kind friend then. Something I had never thought possible in anyone.
It was a tidal wave of emotion. Everything that happened in the last three years of my life were chaotic and confusing. Nothing made sense, but everything seemed to fall into place and then get knocked away again. It was like leaves growing on a tree, just to be discarded when fall came again.
I rolled onto my back and stared up at the roof. My hands went to rest on my stomach. I closed my eyes before releasing a loud sigh. It was time. I knew. I couldn't rest, no matter how hard I tried. I would never be able to rest peacefully in this room again, and I couldn't go back to the guesthouse without feeling obligated to speak to Takashi.
Without much hesitation I stood up and crossed the room. I pulled the door open and listened to the sound of the Haninozuka brothers talking quietly, for the first time since I had moved to the Morinozuka recidence. I ignored the sound of their words as I headed down the steps back to the first floor and headed to the tea room. Sakura was already there. Her hair was tucked over one shoulder and her eyes were focusing on the table between two china cups.
I shut the door softly and turned around. I bowed before heading over and sitting down. She had been expecting me. I didn't touch the china cup, and she didn't speak for the longest time. Her face was covered with a mask that showed neither happiness nor sadness. I was afraid of speaking, however, I didn't need to act first.
"Haruhi, I knew you were going to be a difficult one when I adopted you," Sakura started, her eyes finally rising to meet mine. Her grey eyes were a mix of softness and hardness. As if she were trying to show one emotion but the other was fighting for dominance. "I never intended for you to get involved with Takashi, in fact I hoped against it..." she trailed off for a second. "You were my daughter, and I still do think of you as my daughter."
She stopped speaking there, and I couldn't tell if she wished for me to say something. So, I stayed silent. Not knowing where she was going, not knowing what she was about to say or do. She lifted her tea cup and took a sip of the liquid. "Both of my sons are in the guesthouse fighting, did you know that?" I shook my head slightly, "I know why you refuse to marry Takashi, but I do not understand it."
"He isn't the man I said agreed to marry any more," I started, but Sakura smiled softly, and my mind lined the smile up with Kyouya and Rai's smiles. My back tensed and my fingers clenched together.
"If he had been hiding something from you since the time you said yes, then he is the man you agreed to marry," Sakura spoke up, her smile fading from her face. "What are you going to do now, Haruhi."
"Either stay here, as I am still under you ward, until get accepted into university. Or, I will use the money that my father left me in his will to move out," I replied simply, lacing my fingers together in my lap. Sakura nodded her head slowly.
"Why did you come to see me," Sakura asked after a moment, "I knew you would, but not why you would." My face fell suddenly, my mask slipped from my face, causing Sakura to frown in surprise. "What is plaguing your mind so?"
"I took a test-" I began but stopped myself suddenly, I reached for the china cup and took a drink to clear my throat and wet my mouth. It was as if all the moisture in my body dried up. "It was positive. Takashi knows we slept together...but after that I cannot tell him I am pregnant."
Sakura was silent for the longest time. I was almost sure that the woman had no advice to give me. Her eyes met mine and she sighed. "You will tell him, or I will. I will not have my son not knowing that he has a child."
I looked at her, and then leaned forwards, "You won't," I stated simply, "You know that if he figures that out, it'll hurt your son further. Knowing that I left him even though I am pregnant with his child, it would crush him. You know it. I am sparing him by not telling him."
"How will you hide it when it shows?" Sakura asked, her anger showing, "How will you hide it when you have to go to the doctors office every month for a check up?"
I stayed silent, my lips pursed. My mind came to one conclusion, and one only. "I will move on with my life and move out. The Morinozuka chapter of my life has been finished and forgotten."