Ch. 11 – Shattered

AN: …At least I got it up, right? *dodges rotten fruit*

Disclaimer: If I owned Transformers, Elita would have gotten a lot more attention in the G1 cartoon and more face time in subsequent comics, shows, ect. And, she wouldn't have fragging died in the movie comics! *grrr…*

Edit: Completely forgot to mention! Transformergirl over at (also known as Lnzy1 right here on ) has drawn a picture of Nolan and Aine together. Go check it out at .com/art/Aine-and-Nolan-112693389

Southern Utah, 10:47 a.m.

Nolan wasn't a navigation expert, and he still didn't have a car, so he couldn't speak from experience either. But he was pretty sure that the highway would have been faster than this winding little road. He would also venture that Dodge City, now several hours behind them, would have been as good a place as any for them to separate with Elita.

Both Elita and Nolan pretended not to know this.

It didn't really matter anyway. It wasn't like Nolan was dying to get off, and Aine had mentioned to Elita that Southern Utah was pretty famous for its geography, which Nolan himself had confirmed.

"You can't kick a dead cat without hitting a canyon down there, from what I've heard."

And, well, since they hadn't seen hide or head of Onslaught since yesterday morning, Elita thought it would be safe enough. Hence, the scenic detour.

As Aine ooh-ed over the golden brown cliffs and patters in the cut away mountainside, Nolan had to admit this had been a pretty good idea. He himself, not much for nature and zen or all that jazz, was getting taken in by the scenery. Even Elita seemed impressed by what she was seeing. When Nolan asked if she hadn't seen cooler stuff in the galaxy, she explained that while had seen many wonders in her time and travels, she rarely had the luxury of time to reflect and appreciate them, and never had they been so close at hand. Usually one had to go out of their way to see such natural wonder, and while it was true that the best scenery was currently out of reach their reach, preserved and protected by their government, just this sample by the road was more than enough.

So this is like, a mini vacation for her, Nolan mused as they passed between two huge pillars of rock. No wonder she let Aine talk her into this. Not that I'm complaining.

"This is so beautiful. I'm so glad we decided to come out here," Aine cooed, her breath fogging the window as she pressed her nose against it, captivated by the landscape zipping past. She and her brother were both in the back seat, feeling it was safe for now with the lack of other cars and witnesses. Besides, being in the back made it easier to slide back and forth and take advantage of all the windows.

"Omigosh a cotote!"

"What? Where?" Nolan practically crawled over Aine's lap to look out the window, trying to see the elusive creature. His face lit up with joy when he spotted it. "Awesome! I think I see pups!"

"What!? Where??"

Elita laughed at the simple joy of the children. "I am glad the two of you are enjoying yourselves so much," she said sincerely. "I feel privileged and grateful that I am able to create one last memory with the two of you before we must part."

Nolan tensed, and retreated to the far end of the seat.

"Mm-hmm," Aine said, only half listening. A beat passed before she whipped her head back around. "What? Oh no, you still want to leave us??"

Here it comes…

"We have been over this already," Elita said patiently. "I have kept you for too long as it is, longer than is safe. I cannot afford to wait any longer, lest we tempt fate."

"Yeah, but we haven't seen Onslaught since yesterday morning. That's, like, 24 hours ago! As far as we know, he might still be in Ohio trying to fix that big hole in his chest."

"An assumption we would be ill advised to act upon without evidence."

"Okay, fine, but you still haven't explained what YOU'RE going to do next, or what'll you do if you're forced off course again!"

"Aine, I say this from the depth of my spark that I am grateful and flattered you think so highly of my safety. But you're safety, and that of you brothers, is paramount to me. I am a soldier; I have been surviving on my own for a very long time. I will manage. You and Nolan should not have to protect me."

Then Elita pulled out her ace in the hole.

"Remember Aine, you cannot force me to bring you the rest of the way. You will have to leave my cabin at some point."

Aine stared, stunned at the sudden turn, mouth ajar and without a suitable response. Nolan felt himself relax, hopeful that he wouldn't have to say anything. After all, Elita was right; there was nothing Aine could do to make her do anything if she didn't want to, and Elita was dead set on getting rid of them because she thought they'd be safer that way.

Desperate, Aine turned to Nolan. "Nolan! Help me out here! She's not listening to me anymore!"

Nolan stiffened visibly and dropped his gaze so that he would not have to meet Aine's own, feeling a little like a ostrich trying to hide with its head in the ground.

Confused by the odd reaction, Aine bent down and tilted her head up, trying to catch his eyes but failing as he kept turning his head. The more she tried to get him to look at her, the more he seemed to curl into himself. "Nolan? Everything alright?"

Oh, how he had dreaded this part.

"We have to leave Aine," he said quietly, not raising his head. "It's the only thing we can do."

Aine reared back as if Nolan had slapped her, staring at him in disbelief, her face an expression of shock and hurt, her eyes already brimming with tears. "What? But, last night, you said…"

"I said I would think about it, and I did," Nolan said, tightening his arms across his chest defensively. "I mean, I get what you're saying, I get where you're coming from, and it's totally understandable and all but…well…look, I just can't okay? I'm sorry, I just can't knowingly let you stay in a dangerous situation even if I get why you want to do it."

"Your brother speaks the truth Aine," Elita said gently. "We are not trying to coddle you, and I am not trying to 'get rid of' you. We both desire the same thing: your safety, above all else."

Aine trembled there for a few seconds more before sinking back into her seat as if in defeat. Nolan felt like a total ass for making her feel this way, but there wasn't any other way. Nolan lifted a hand to touch her shoulder in an attempt at comfort, when Aine sat straight in her seat, looking either mad or annoyed.

"Fine. I get that. Just, for my peace of mind, tell me already what you're going to do to avoid detection, navigate the roads and highways, AND avoid Onslaught all at the same time by yourself with no communications, no navigation, nothing but the maps and directions we have right now which will become obsolete as soon as you have to go too far off-course to avoid populated areas so no one notices the driverless car which, by the way, will make you a sitting duck for Onslaught!"

Nolan gaped at his sisters sudden mood swing, still fighting to stay on, still refusing to give ground even when all reason and logic say the battle is already over, even Elita said so.

(But you…but you…)

"I confess I have no set plans for such contingencies," Elita admitted, but with a hint of steel that hadn't been there before, "but it is irrelevant to the here and now."

(…you said you'd go with what I said, didn't you? That was our agreement last night…)

Aine quailed a little, but still tried to hang on. "Sorry, but I can't just let this go, you know? I don't think it's as simple as you and Nolan are making it out to be."

(…we agreed I'd have the final word, and I've given the final word. Why wasn't she listening? Why was she still not listening? Why wasn't she doing what she said she would do? Why wasn't she, why wouldn't she…)

"Just DROP IT already!!"

Aine gasped and retreated to the corner of the seat, staring in wide eyed disbelief at her brother. Had Elita possessed a countenance, she probably would have too. Nolan couldn't bring himself to care.

"We've already been over this! It's the exact same argument and the exact same points, and you're not getting anywhere with this! Elita already said she's going to drop us off at the city, and you can't make her change her mind! We're both trying to tell you the exact same thing Aine, so would you stop being so damn stubborn and just DROP it already? Beside, YOU said last night that if I really thought about what you said and STILL thought leaving was the best choice, you'd go along with it without another word. What happened to that??"

This time, it was Aine who tried to avoid eye contact. "Yeah, I did say that, I guess…"

"You 'guess'? Seriously, where is this coming from? You've never been so…so…" Nolan waved his hands in the air at the lack of a proper adjective. "I don't know, but you've never been like this before!"

Aine was quiet for a long time, long enough for the increasingly frustrated Nolan to think she was going mute on the matter, before she answered in a tiny voice. "I thought I'd be able to let it go like I said if you really, really thought I should. But now that I'm here, I just…I just can't. I can't let this go. I can't let Elita go on alone like this. I'd never forgive myself if I did."

"Aine? What was it that you two discussed last night?" Elita asked tenderly.

Aine wrung her hands in her lap, and to Nolan's shock she began in a near whisper "Well, you see-"

"It doesn't matter," Nolan interrupted. "Point is, Aine, you said you'd drop it, and now you've gotta drop it."

Before Elita could reprimand Nolan for talking over Aine, the girl beat her to it.

"Don't take words out of my mouth!" She snapped angrily, hands clenching the skirt of her white skorts. "I have a right to talk you know."

"Yeah, but you're doing right now is repeating yourself. Anyway, our conversation last night was private, Elita doesn't need to know all that. That was OUR private conversation, you know! You don't have to share everything WE talk about!"

"I'm not putting this on MySpace you know! And I think Elita does deserve to know! We've been talking about her, in case you haven't noticed!"

Nolan slammed a hand against the window with a resounding SMACK!

"Elita Elita Elita ELITA! This entire trip it's always been about Elita! You don't listen to me, you don't think about me, and you're always taking her side!"

Aine stared at him in shocked disbelief. "What? I don't take her side-"

"What about at the library? You didn't stay with me, you just left like Elita told you to. And what about when I was trying to explain why I had to save the bags? You didn't trust me, you just took Elita's side that I was being an idiot!"

"You could have gotten hurt or-"

"Don't you think I KNEW that?? Don't you think I wouldn't have done it without a damn good REASON?? But you never had faith in me; you just took Elita's side and never gave a thought about mine!"

"That's not-"

"Oh sure, I know you don't mean it like that, but your intentions don't mean squat if you don't DO anything to show them! I'm your brother, for god's sake. We're supposed to look out for each other, just like we've always done ever since Mom – ever since we were kids!"

Nolan's voice was rising as he hit his stride, getting more and more worked up as the words and emotions spilled from his mouth like magma.

"Don't you get it? Everything I've done for the last five years, all the work and saving and putting up with Dad, I've done it for you! I've been putting you first for half my life, and I've never asked anything from you. Am I crazy for wanting a little loyalty back?"

"I never said-"

"Damn it Aine, you're the most important person in the world to me, and I'd do anything to keep you safe! Don't you get that yet? Don't you get that I'd do anything for you? Don't you think that I deserve some loyalty and faith in you? Haven't I earned it by now? For the love of God I'm not going to be able to graduate high school now because I'll be too busy working five part time jobs putting you through high school instead!"

Dead silence.

Nolan waited for Aine to say something, but grew increasingly annoyed as she just stared blankly at him…until it dawned on him what, exactly, he had just said. Nolan's face went from 'frustrated annoyance' to 'ohshit' in two seconds flat, and he slapped his hand over his mouth too late to stop the words.

"What…did you say?" Aine whispered.

Nolan looked away. "Nothing."

"Nolan, you said you weren't – what do you mean you're not going to graduate high school? Is it because you work so much you don't have time to study? Oh my god, Nolan, is it because you're always worrying about me that you can't concentrate? Don't tell me you're flunking out!"

Nolan said nothing, pressing his lips together.

Aine scooted closer to Nolan, and put a small hand on his lap. "Nolan, I'm so sorry, but you didn't have to do that for me. And you still have senior year, you still have time to make up, it's not that dire yet, right Elita?"

"…"

"Elita?"

"You never intended to return home, did you Nolan?" Elita asked quietly.

Nolan stiffened and his breathe stilled for a brief moment. It was answer enough.

Elita gave a hollow laugh. "I thought so. Your sudden change of heart over coming with her, your over eager packing, your frugal spending, the addition of enough food and medicines to last weeks, your antagonism with Richard and desire to protect Aine…what a fool I was not to see it sooner."

Aine withdrew his hand in shock and disbelief. The silence hung thick and heavy in the cab, chocking those within and suffocating their words.

"You weren't…but I…I thought…why?"

Nolan only curled more tightly into his shell and said nothing. He felt the pit of his stomach give way as he felt the car slow and pull over. He half expected to look up and see another library.

"Nolan, while you and I are not done with this, this is an issue that the two of you need to work out together first," Elita said evenly. "Using me to run away from home notwithstanding, this speaks of larger issues between the two of you that an outsider like me has no place interfering in."

What? Larger issues? He was dropping out of school and running away from home with his sister, what could be bigger than that?

"I will respect your privacy, but I need you to stay within my line of sight." Elita instructed. "The two of you may take as much time as you need. Aine, hear what Nolan needs to say. Nolan, let Aine say what she needs to say. That is all I ask."

Elita watched the pair trek across the sands in a more or less straight line, ground allowing.

Elita wasn't terribly shocked by the revelation…but she was hurt. Their relationship with their father, their mothers death, now this…Elita hadn't expected Nolan to make her his confidante, but the more she got to know him, the more it turned out he was hiding from her. Now, not only did he truly lie to her, he was using her to his own ends. He didn't do it to be malicious or manipulative, but it was still painful.

And now Aine knew her brother had been lying to her, keeping secrets from her. She clearly had no idea of Nolan's plans, and was completely innocent of the matter. But now, the question remained as to how she would react to this.

Still, Elita knew one thing for certain: whatever came out of this long overdue talk, their relationship was never going to be the same again.

The siblings walked off about a hundred yards from where Elita was parked, Nolan leading with hands in his pockets, Aine in his shadow with her hands clenched over her chest. They finally stopped under the shade of a particularly large boulder, far enough for Nolan to feel comfortable that Elita wouldn't be able to overhear them even inadvertently, but close enough so that they weren't out of her sight.

They stood there awkwardly for several seconds, not sure how to begin. It was Aine who broke the silence.

"What…what exactly…were you planning to do?" She asked quietly. "I mean, I know you wanted to move out as soon as you could, after you graduated, but why are you doing this now?"

Nolan ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to organize his thoughts and rather haphazard plan in a concise manner to best convey the, the rightness of it, the logic of it. Once she understood the why's and how's, she'd understand why he did it, and she'd agree what he did was for the best…right?

"First off, you know I'm not leaving just for myself, right?"

Aine looked up at him in confusion, and he quickly clarified. "I mean, yes I want to leave home, get out of Dad's house, but…I want to take you with me."

Confusion morphed into, well, more confusion, with some blank surprise. "Excuse me?"

"I've got it all figured out," Nolan hurried to explain. "I've got about three thousand dollars now, plenty enough to get a small apartment and cover living expenses for a few months if we plan carefully. Long enough for me to find a job, or even a few part time jobs to support us. You can enroll in a local public school and still finish your education while I work. Once you're done and taken care of, I can work on getting my own GED afterwards. Best of all, since we're so far out and didn't leave a trail or anything, Dad won't be able to find us and drag you back home!"

Nolan started speaking faster as he got more excited, even pacing back and forth and waving his hands as he went along. "You won't have to work like a live-in maid anymore, and you'll be able to make friends and hang out without having to worry about him being on your case or saying you're wasting your time, you'll be able to focus on school work instead of catering to Dad's latest whim, he won't yell at either of us again, he won't be able to control us anymore…we'll be free Aine! And we can be free right now, or as soon as we get back to civilization anyway. We won't have to wait another year after all!"

Aine lowered her eyes and her shoulders slumped slowly. Nolan took no note and kept talking.

"I, look, I didn't mean to hurt Elita or anything. I'm sorry about what I said before, I'm just kinda stressed I guess and I took it out on you and her. I'm really sorry about that. But this was just too good a chance to pass up, and it's not like anyone got hurt. Elita gets the help she needed and we get a free ride out of that house with no paper trail between here and there. Everyone wins! You see?"

Silence. Nolan finally looked over at her, and was sincerely, if mildly, surprised that she didn't look contemplative, happy, interested, or any of those things. Her eyes were down, and she just looked…sad?

"Aine? Aine? Um, you know, when two people are talking, it kinda helps if they take turns."

Aine muttered something, but it was so quiet Nolan couldn't catch it even as he leaned it and strained his hearing.

"What was that?"

"I said, it won't work."

Nolan reared back. "What?"

"I said it won't work," she repeated, more firmly this time. She still couldn't look at Nolan, and her face was starting to go red with embarrassment and uncertainty, but she pressed on anyway. "We didn't leave a paper trail, sure, but Dad can still call the police and, and they'll be able to find us anyway. Maybe, maybe he can't talk about Elita, but he can still come up with something and, the minute you, you have to give you social security number to an employer or I enroll in a school they're going to know where we are."

"Then I'll find work picking corn or something, I'll find something where I don't have to give my social security number." Nolan insisted, almost desperately. "And maybe you can do the on-line thing, they can't track you through that, right? Or we can get different names, at least for you if you really don't want to home-school or whatever. Besides, I'm going to be 18 soon, it's not like I'm doing anything illegal."

"Kidnapping is a federal crime Nolan."

"…What?"

Aine finally lifted her head, the strength of her emotions overcoming her natural meekness – and the emotion was not a happy one.

"That's essentially what you're doing, right? You never told me what you were planning to do, and you never ASKED me if I wanted to go. We came out here together, but apparently under false pretenses! That's kidnapping Nolan! You want to move out and be on your own, fine! You want to drop out of high school to do it, FINE! But DON'T go making those decisions for ME!"

Nolan couldn't believe this. What was Aine saying? Why was she saying those words? And, and why was she looking at him with such…anger?

The diminutive girl was just getting started. "Not ONCE did you ask what I wanted, not ONCE did you ask for my input! You just assumed I'd be all happy and go along with anything you decided, because that's what I've always done before, right? Isn't that RIGHT!"

"Aine I - "

"Shut up Nolan." Aine snapped, and Nolan felt time stop. "Just, just shut up and LISTEN to me for once!

"Yes, I've always just gone along with what you and Dad wanted, but that was with stuff like, like after-school stuff or what we should have for dinner, not whether I should just pick up everything and move cross country! You didn't care what I thought before; you STILL don't care what I think now! All you can see is what you want to see. What if I DON'T want to live with you? What if I WANT to stay with Dad? Ever think about that?"

What?? What was Aine talking about? Why would she want to stay with Richard if there was a better option standing right in front of her? And now Nolan's shock and disbelief were morphing into anger and indignation.

"Pardon me for trying to do what's best for you!" he snapped back, his hands fisting at his sides. "You don't know what best for you, that's why I had to make this choice on my own! You don't see it now, but you'll get it later when you realize you're so much HAPPIER now without Dad! I won't - "

Nolan snapped his mouth shut, closed his eyes, and took a couple of deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down. Once he felt sufficiently cooled down, he leaned down forward and put his hands on his sister's shoulders, looking at her straight in the eye.

"I never told you this before, but when you were little Mom asked me to take care of you, and I promised her I would. I promised Mom that'd I'd watch out for you, that I'd protect you no matter what. After Mom d-…now that she's not around anymore, it's my job to take care of you. That's why I'm doing this. If you…" Nolan's voice cracked and he took a moment to collect himself as he felt his eyes start to burn. No, no, he needed to stay composed for this.

"If you stay with Dad," he started again, "he's going to break you. You're one of the kindest, most generous people I've ever known. Mom was too. But Dad's never appreciated you. All he's ever done is taken you for granted. You keep giving, and he's going to just take and take and take until you don't have anything left, and then you'll break so badly nobody will be able to put you back together.

"Getting you away from him is the single best thing I can do for you."

Aine's eyes were filling up as she looked back into Nolan's eyes, her breathing heavy. She blinked and tears came down her cheeks, and she lowered her head in an attempt to hide them. Nolan straightened a little, sure now that Aine was beginning to understand. He didn't like making her cry, but at least she understood now. Nolan tensed his arms to pull his sister close for a hug.

"You're wrong."

Nolan froze.

Aine wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and her wrist. "You're wrong. Dad has never been very emotional, even when Mom was still with us, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love us. And, and he loses his temper sometimes, sure, but it's not like he's ever hurt either of us or starved us or anything, so it's not like he's being abusive."

Nolan's hands fell away from Aine's shoulders.

(Not…being…abusive??)

"But he still needs us Nolan." She went on. "We're family, and family is supposed to stick together. Do you remember what Dad was like after we lost Mom? He couldn't even stand to look at her picture, it hurt too much. That's why there aren't any pictures of her in the house any more, it's why he doesn't like talking about her. How much do you think this is going to hurt him now?"

Nolan's hands started to tremble.

(No, no, that's not it, that's not why. That wasn't grief at the loss of his wife, it was anger at her "leaving" him, trying to lash out after what her perceived to be her last act of defiance…)

"But Mom would have wanted us to stay together. She never would have wanted us to split up. I'm sure if Dad knew you felt like this, he'd feel horrible. You and Dad don't really talk, so he probably has no idea you feel like this about him. If, if we go back and you just open up to him-"

"Then what? Everything's going to be all peaches and cream and suddenly he'd gonna became Father of the Year?" Nolan interrupted irritably. "I remember what he used to be like, I remember what Mom was like a long time ago, I KNOW how they changed. Maybe Dad was an okay guy once, or maybe he only pretended to be, I don't know. But that's NOT who he is now. He's selfish, he's controlling, he doesn't care about anyone but himself, and the only good you and I have in his eyes is if we bow and kiss his feet and go 'yes master' every time he so much as twitches."

(I know I know I've seen I was old enough to understand it why won't you understand what I'm trying to tell you?)

Even before Nolan was finished Aine was rapidly shaking her head in denial. "No, no, you're oversimplifying it. You're vilifying him, that's not fair. He's our father, he's family! Family means we support each other, help each other. You said yourself Dad changed after Mom…after we lost Mom. We're all he has left. He needs us Nolan. Can't you understand that?"

"Dad has never been a part of the real family Aine." Nolan near whispered. "Can't you understand that?"

"Real…family?"

"Yes, the REAL family!" Nolan snapped louder, his fists clenching again as the frustration began to boil over anew. "Dad never wanted a family, he wanted servants and worshippers who would always keep him in the center of the universe and never think that they might have their own thoughts! Mom, you, me, we were the REAL family!"

"How can you say that? How can you say we were a family without Dad when Dad had always been right there?"

(Shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shut UP and listen already!!)

"He was there in the loosest sense of the word. We were what a family was supposed to be, but Dad tried to crush us under his heel and make us what he wanted, and the only reason we're not a total wreck by now is because Mom was there to hold him back. But Moms not here anymore, so the family is down to just the two of us. Dad – Richard, he might've donated the genetic material, but he is NOT our family!"

(Now stop it stop it stop it STOP IT! If you knew what he was really like you wouldn't be saying this, but I do you don't know that-)

"Mom LOVED him! Mom MARRIED him! Mom had kids with him! You want to talk about Mom, how about that she thought he was a part of the family! Mom would have NEVER wanted us to leave him! If it was really that bad, then Mom would've left him a long time ago!"

"She DID leave! Mom KILLED herself to get AWAY from him!"

The damning words were out before Nolan could comprehend they were even coming, and they danced away across the lifeless desert, shattering the winds and minds they passed. Aine's eyes were wide, her hands over her partially opened mouth. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, her heart felt as though it had stopped in her breast, because there was no way those words, those horrible words were real, because it was a cat, it was a cat in the snow that Mom was trying to save –

"There was NEVER a cat," Nolan said, and only then did Aine realize she had been muttering aloud.

"There was never a cat. Mom went outside, in a freaking blizzard, with no coat or anything. She got all the way down to the lake Aine, you think she would have wandered that far on accident? Don't you think she would've realized she was going the wrong way as soon as she started going downhill?"

(Pain pain this'll hurt her she'll feel my pain good good this is good she'll feel my pain know my pain share my pain and then she'll understand)

"She…she slipped, she slipped and couldn't get up…" Aine argued feebly. "She, she wouldn't do that, she couldn't…she wasn't…you can't know that…"

"She left a note Button. She wrote a letter saying she was sorry and goodbye, left it in my book so that only I'd find it, and then she went out in the snow storm wearing nothing but a nightgown and a robe so she could fall asleep, freeze and die out of sight and under the snow."

(feel my pain feel my burden and you'll understand my actions understand me know why I'm doing this when you feel the pain pain pain)

The tears were coming down silently, and Aine buried her face in her hands, crying without a sound as she always did. Nolan felt part guilt for causing those tears, but also vindication. NOW she was starting to understand. NOW she can comprehend just how bad a place Richard's house was. She couldn't hide behind denial and rationalization any longer, now that she knew the truth of how Mom died.

And now that she knows, she'd follow Nolan again, because she understood that he knew better.

As she cried silently, Nolan again put his hands on her shoulders. She flinched, and neither moved away nor came closer. She just accepted it, if stiffly.

"You see?" He said gently, "Mom couldn't stand to stay there either. There's no reason why we should too. I'm not going to wait until you're broken. If I do, it'll be too late."

Aine pulled her wet hands away from her eyes, her face red and splotchy from the tears. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" She choked out. "You've been carrying this all on your own. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I wanted to protect you," Nolan answered honestly, gently squeezing her arms. "You didn't need to know. It only would have upset you before. I'm telling you now because you need to understand why you have to listen to me now, like always. You've been different lately, and that's understandable since we're in a bit of a weird situation right now, but you've got to keep trusting me. I can't always explain why I do what I do, but if you just trust that I have your best interest at heart, everything will be okay."

Nolan leaned a little further down to catch her watery gaze. "It's always been just you and me, and it'll always be just you and me. You're the most important person in my life Button. I just need you to remember that I'm the most important person in yours."

Aine sucked in her breath as comprehension finally, FINALLY, flitted across her face. Nolan smile, satisfied that he had finally made his point. Nolan was right, in that Aine had made the connections and was now seeing the whole picture.

But, it wasn't the picture Nolan wanted her to see.

"You…you…I don't believe you!!"

Aine raised her hands in front of her and snapped them outwards, forcibly breaking the grip Nolan had on her shoulders. Nolan staggered back in disbelief, and then slapped a hand over his eyes.

"For Gods sakes, what is it THIS time??"

"It's not 'this' time Nolan, it's ALL the times before!" Aine snapped angrily, fire in her eyes. "You were always making decisions for me, always deciding what was good and what wasn't. You never let me try anything out for myself, and anytime I suggested something, you almost always shot it down because you had a better idea! You expect me to have perfect faith in you? Where's YOUR faith in ME? Where was it when I tried to tell you about Elita the first time? Where was your trust when I tried to tell you she wasn't dangerous?

"I love you Nolan, but what gives you the right to decide you MUST be the center of MY universe? Who says I have to drop everything to accommodate YOU?"

(no, no, this was wrong, this was going wrong wrong wrong)

"You've always been protective, I just didn't realize how possessive you were! You've always treated me like a little kid, but NEVER like a real person with thoughts and opinions of my own. It's always been you, you, YOU! You weren't protecting me, you were just trying to keep me to yourself! You, you, you - "

(shut up shutupshutupshutup)

"YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN DAD IS!"

Nolans eyes widened in shock and rage, and they both new Aine had gone too far. Nolan swung his hand up and back, and Aine flinched and turned her head away, squeezing her eyes shut bracing for the powerful backhanded slap she could see coming her way, and probably deserved.

The blow never landed.

Slowly, Aine opened one eye, then the other, and cautiously looked back at Nolan.

His hand was still up, but a little lower now. His face, a rage filled mockery of his normal kind one, was now stunned and horrified at what he had nearly done. Slowly, he lowered his trembling hand and stared at it as if it had betrayed him. He took a shaky step back, then another, still staring at his hand.

"Nolan?" Aine said tentatively, and Nolan shifted his gaze to her as if noticing her for the first time. Aine felt something inside her twist. She had never seen Nolan look so confused, so…so… utterly helpless. It was hard to believe he was almost eighteen, and not younger that Aine herself.

"I wasn't…I wasn't…" Nolan tried, taking another step back. Aine tried to approach him, her hand out towards him, but he scuttled back as if she were holding a hot poker.

"NO!" He shouted, almost hysterically. "Don't, don't come any closer. I don't…I thought I…I'm so sorry, I have to go."

Like a frightened animal, Nolan spun around and ran away from his sister, across the desert and leaping over the rocks in his way as if for his life. Aine watched him go and disappear around a turn, herself desperately trying to comprehend what had just occurred between them. Her hand ghosted over her cheek, nursing the bruise that never was.

"N-Nolan! Nolan wait!" Aine managed two steps forward before her progress was halted by a large, red, metallic hand around her midsection.

"Nolan needs to be alone right now," Elita said softly, her fingers wrapping around Aine protectively, gently. "He has realized something about himself he does not like. He will need a bit of time alone to come to terms with it, and he will return when he is ready."

Aine wrapped her arms around Elita's thumb, and the Femme could hear a sniffling sound from the hunched over form. With her other hand, Elita gently lifted the small girl up and off the ground and held her close to her chassis. For a long time Elita just held the weeping girl in her arms, letting the girl hold her digits and let her tears run as long as they needed.

Nolan had no idea where he was going or what direction he was running in. All he knew was that he had to put as much distance as possible between himself and Aine, so that he wouldn't have to seek that look on face, see the accusation, see the betrayal, and hurt, and…and…oh God, what had he done??

He skidded across the sands and rocks, bounding off boulders and nearly crashing headlong into them in his haste. Down a slope, the rocks gave way and he nearly fell face first down the incline, managing to tuck into a roll at the last second, skidding and sliding until he came to a stop at the bottom.

For several long seconds he stayed there, curled up at the bottom of the slope, heedless of the sand in his clothes and rocks stabbing into his soft sides or the harsh sun beating down on his bare neck. Those discomforts were NOTHING compared to the punishment he deserved.

"I almost hit Aine," Nolan choked out, gripping his arms as he trembled. "I almost hit her. I WANTED to hit her. I wanted to HURT her. Not even Dad ever went that far."

The urge to run in a vain attempt to escape his unforgivable sin gripped him with such force he was scrambling to his feet before he even had time to process the desire. But the exertion and guilt left his legs weak and unsteady, and he fell back again into the sands.

Nolan bent over double and gripped his head as his sister's face replayed itself over and over in his mind.

What gives you the right to decide you MUST be the center of MY universe? Who says I have to drop everything to accommodate YOU?

You weren't protecting me, you were just trying to keep me to yourself!

YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN DAD IS!

"I'm sorry!" Nolan cried out, trying to drown out the accusing, damning words. His hands came down and gripped an invisible book in his lap, and he hunched over the non-existent but most precious treasure he had, as if drawing his very life source from it.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry!" He choked over and over again. "I promised I'd take care of her, I promised I'd protect her, and I broke it!"

(broken broken shattered it you did a thousand little little pieces can't ever fix it shattered like glass broken broken broken)

"I broke it, I broke us, and I can't ever fix it! She'll, she'll never trust me again, she'll never want to come near be again because, because she's going to be scared of me, she'll never want to be near me again! She's right, I'm even WORSE than Dad is, and, and, you must hate me just as much too now…"

Nolan openly sobbed, tears streaming down his face as the emotional pain racked his frame, hunching over even more, his hands desperate and gripping for the well worn paperback and the precious treasures it guarded. He shook his head desperately.

"I can't fix it, and now she's going to leave, she'll leave too and I can't make her come back. She's going to leave me behind too."

(again again you fool you can't protect them you can only break them push them pull them until they break under your hands just like Richard just like him just like him you break them all)

"I never meant for it to happen! I don't want it like this, I don't…Mom! Mom! Please help me! I don't, I don't know what to do…!"

His prayer and plea went unanswered. All he heard was the wind and his own racked sobs.

Nolan shook and cried until he was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. He wiped his eyes and his runny nose on his wrist, then drew his knees up and hugged them tight to his body, drowning in his own guilt and self-deprecation.

Aine's sobs had finally quieted down, and she just rested against the smooth warm metal of Elita's chassis, feeling grateful for the sense of comfort and envelopment her arms provided, and the silent patience that came with it.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Elita asked. Aine shook her head.

Maybe later, but right now she just felt dull and lightheaded, and just thinking about it all was almost enough to summon another flood.

Her brother's insistence on Richards abuse.

Her moms suicide.

Nolan's treatment of her, wrapped in good intentions but no less damaging.

Nolan's h-hand…

Warm tears ran down well0worn tracks, and Aine lacked the strength to wipe them away, only sniffling and wiping her nose on her wrist. She rested her head on Elita's chassis, and lost herself in the white noise of humming machinery and pumping liquids. It was so much easier to lose herself in the warmth and the sounds, to not have to think or remember…

Elita stiffened.

Aine rose her face nearly straight up and saw only the bottom of the femme's chin. Elita was stiff and staring intently at the mountains that rose sharply across the road a small ways away.

"Is someone coming?" Aine asked, wiping her face on her sleeve. Elita's answer was short and clipped.

"Onslaught is here."

Aine's insides turned to ice.

Elita snapped from maternal to soldier in the blink of an eye. She swiftly deposited Aine on her feet and made the girl face her with a finger tip on the shoulder.

"Go find Nolan, tell him Onslaught is nearby and that I have gone to confront him. You tow are to find someplace to hind and stay there until I come back for you. Do you understand?"

Shakily, Aine nodded.

"One last thing Aine, and this is most important." Elita pointed back to the road, to a tall boulder that was tipped a little to the side. "You will find your bags at the base of that rock. If I do not return by dusk, take your water bottles and hike down the road. You should reach a small community within a few hours if you do not stop. You need not fear dehydration if you travel in the dark."

"If you don't…Don't say that! You'll be fine!" the girl tried to insist.

Elita gave Aine a hard look. "Listen to me. I will not have you and Nolan wait here indefinitely for me if I cannot come back. Remember, pick a place to hide, and no matter what you may hear do not come out."

With that, Elita rose, jerked her hand once to bring out the wrist pistol, and leapt away, running for the mountains with long strides that made her look as if she were flying.

Aine stood in place, staring after Elita as she watched her go, feeling so many emotions it all left her njmb. But at some point, her brain kick stared back into high gear.

"Nolan…Nolan! Nolan where-" Aine slapped a hand over her mouth and glanced furtively around her. When Onslaught didn't appear of the ground, her thumping heart slowed slightly. The Decepticon was probably too far away to hear, or was too focused on Elita to come…but Aine wasn't going to tempt fate.

But Nolan was still out there, and there was no way she was going to abandon him out here even without Elita telling her anything. Relying on memory and the occasional sneaker print in the sands, Aine traced after the elder O'Connell. If this was the only way she could help Elita, if this was the only way she could protect Nolan, then darn it she wasn't going to stand around like a helpless baby and wibble about it!

"Utah? Seriously, we've been trying to intercept Elita or whatever for two days, and we're BACK in UTAH? Okay, you know what, I'm voting we just go home and meet her there. At this rate we're not gonna catch up until we hit our own doorsteps."

"I never knew you were so adverse to Utah Sam," Mikaela teased over the comm.

"Hey, I've got no problem with Utah. They've got pretty parks, nice slopes and lots of green jell-o. I've just got a problem with the whole round about, three-day-non-stop road trip that begin and ends in the same place."

"Are we feeling grumpy today?"

"…Maybe a little. Sorry, I don't mean to sound all mean and stuff, but I'm just feeling kinda irritated now. And a little restless."

"If it makes you feel any better, if Elita gets back to base too soon we could always get lost and spend a couple of weeks in Mexico," Bumblebee suggested.

"Two super advanced robotic organisms with built in GPS, internet connections, high end communications, and upgrades and schematics specifically designed for infiltration and scouting respectively, getting three hundred or so miles off course when they're only the next state over?" Mikaela said skeptically.

"We got VERY lost."

"…I'm cool with that."

"...Oh my. You should probably hold on to something Sam."

"Why-AAAAIIIII!"

Without warning Bumblebee swerved sharply to the right, crossed three lanes of moderate traffic and nearly clipped one car to catch the exit, with the Pontiac Solstice behind him following so closely they might as well have been tied together with a six inch string.

"PLEASE tell me there was a good reason for that," Sam pleaded, sounding out of breath and just as unnerved as his girlfriend currently was.

"Kay now, I'm DEFINATLEY pickin' up an energy trail here, and since I ain't heard anything 'bout giant robots having another throw down anywhere, I'm pretty sure it's Elita's," Jazz reported cheerfully.

"I thought you said weather and activity would wash away any trail," Mikaela said uncertainly.

"An' it will, eventually. The trails faint already. Heck, only reason I'm gettin' anythin' at ALL is 'cause it's fresh."

"How fresh?"

"Personally, I'd peg her no more than a couple o'hours ahead of us. Bee?"

"Less than one. You're losing your touch Jazz."

"Say that again next time you want someone to infiltrate a Decepticon stronghold and come out with all their plans and schematics before they even notice a blip on the radar."

"So wait, we're almost caught up?" Mikaela asked excitedly.

"Sure are, little lady!"

"Darn, I was really looking forward to that Mexico trip."

Elita followed the signal to a ravine, descending cautiously, each step careful but firm so that not a single rock could fall and give away her position, and to prevent the sands from sliding and taking away her balance. The element of surprise was the greatest asset of a guerilla fighter, especially one with limited weaponry, and Elita was going to use it to her fullest advantage.

The ravine was deep and wide, big enough for someone as tall as Elita to disappear in. There was a stream at the bottom, still carving into the earth, but narrow and shallow in the summer heat. It was along this beach Elita walked, the softer sands muffling her footsteps. Her short range scanners were picking up Onslaughts signal loud and clear, and while he was moving slowly away, Elita was catching up to him at a steady pace.

So far everything was going as well as could be expected. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something…off about all this. It wasn't the usual instinct that usually warned her of danger. There was something missing here, she felt like she had forgotten something important, and it wouldn't stop bugging her.

Oh, she knew it was a trap, but that much was obvious. Onslaught was no idiot, she understood perfectly well he was drawing her out for another fight, and this time he had the chance to prepare and set the stage as he saw fit. But if the alternative was to stay out and risk the fight falling on top of the children, then she would rather spring the trap herself.

Still, it WAS a bit odd that Onslaught chose such a disadvantageous location to draw her to. Elita could move just fine, though her fighting would be more restricted because of the high walls and narrow space. Big, bulky Onslaught, however, would be lucky if he could even turn around. Not to mention, this area with its boulders and slopes, ravines, caverns, and all around geographical richness made this an excellent battle ground for the hit-and-run tactic Elita excelled at, and gave no advantage to the front-line fighter Onslaught.

Elita frowned as she approached the last bend separating her from her opponent. It was possible that, in his eagerness for revenge, Onslaught had made these careless mistakes because he was too impatient to fight again. But the Decepticon was too smart for that. Last time, he had waited patiently out of sight until Elita was in the perfect position for an ambush, and very nearly crushed her in one blow. Then again, his transponder signal was almost right in front of her, and for all intents and purposes he hadn't yet –

Elita stopped.

The signal. The hill. She hadn't been able to detect his transponder signal at the hill. He didn't HAVE a signal TO pick up at the hill, which meant…oh Primus NO!!

With a lunge Elita crossed the bend, and was greeted not by the sadistic and now defunct gestalt leader, but by a small, inauspicious wheeled scout drone. Such drones were popular with scouting and reconnaissance teams to explore areas too small or too dangerous to risk people, and where only basic knowledge would be needed. The little thing could have easily fit in Elita's hand, and it was happily broadcasting Onslaughts signal with the transponder chip he no longer had.

Onslaught had led her away…and now the children were alone.

The femme spun on her heel and ran back as fast as her legs could carry here, the little drone already forgotten. She had stupidly, stupidly fallen for the trap, and if she wasted so much as half a second the children could very well be the ones to pay for it.

Aine's lungs burned for air, her sides were protesting violently, and her heart was going to fast it threatened to go out at any moment, and not just from the exertion. But Aine felt all this vaguely, like the pain was muffled by thick cotton. She wouldn't stop, couldn't stop, not until she found Elita.

'Find Elita find Elita find Elita find Elita' was the mantra that kept her going even as she nearly slipped and crashed half a dozen times, exhaustion and near panic taking a toll on her coordination. She fled from sand to pavement, trying to follow Elita's path by memory alone. So singleminded was she on her mission, she literally did not see the car coming down the road.

The car hit the brakes and squealed to a stop, the driver laying on the horn in desperate warning. Aine screamed and spun to escape, only to overbalance and fall on her rump. The car skidded to a stop less than a foot from where she lay, the smell of burning rubber wafting through the air. Aine started at the gleaming bumper dumbly, shock from her near death wiping her mind clean of anything for a few seconds.

"WHOA! Whoa, are you okay?"

Aine heard a car door, two doors, open and shut. The slap slap slap of sneakers with the occasional crunch of wayward sand underfoot, and a warm body on either side of her, one after the other.

"Hey, talk to me kid. Oh crap, is she in shock? What're supposed to do when someone goes into shock??"

Aine snapped back to reality with a quick shake of her head and an "I'm fine, I'm fine."

She started to stand, and felt a hand at her elbow helping her to her feet. She looked up to her helper, a tall, skinny teenage boy with short curly hair and brown eyes. Aine felt cool hands take her own, and she refocused her attention on the other person, a pretty girl with black hair and blue eyes. The older girl sucked air through her teeth.

"Ooooh, ouch, does it hurt?" the girl asked. Aine looked down at her hands. The heels of her palms had been scrapped bloody by the impromptu meeting with the asphalt, and the other girl was already working on picking out the smalls rocks stuck in the wounds.

I don't have time for this!

"I'm fine, its fine, everything's fine, thanks for asking, gotta go bye!"

Aine tried to back away from the girl, but she had forgotten about the boy still behind her. She nearly knocked them both back down from the force of her backpedaling. The boy barely saved the them trip, grabbing Aine's shoulders to balance them both.

"Whoa hold it! Seriously, relax, we're not crazy psycho people or anything. Hey uh…" The boy looked around at the conspicuously deserted road. "Where ARE you going anyway? Wait…you aren't hitchhiking, are you?"

Aine's mind was blank, unable to come up with a semi-plausible reason on the fly why a 14 year old girl with apparently nothing but the clothes on her back was doing alone in the middle of the desert without so much as a water bottle in hand. The boy took her silence as guilty admittance.

"Oh MAN," he groaned, letting his head fall backwards at the utter stupidity. His head came back down with a sigh. "Okay, I'm not going to ask why, since it's probably pretty bad if you're that desperate. At least let us take you to the next city where you can call someone, alright?"

A blue car and other would be helpers flashed in Aine's memory.

"NO!"

She ripped herself away from the boy and backed away as if he was holding a hot poker.

"No, no no no, it's not like that! I'm not a runaway or anything, really!" Aine waved her hands in front of her to punctuate just how wrong that was. "I just…I just…wandered off a little…to explore…because the rest of my family is setting up camp nearby, and I was bored and didn't have anything to do and wanted to explore a little, that's all! I'll be fine really! Just keep going already thank you bye!"

The teens were looking at her like they were seriously wondering about the state of her mental well being. Aine grinned wildly at them, desperately hoping they'd hurry up and leave already. She couldn't very well have them trying to follow her or still be here when Elita came back!

See, see, I'm fine, I'm fine, everything is peachy and good. Go away already, I don't have time for this!

…

Ah, screw it.

"Okay it was great meeting you gotta go see ya bye!"

Aine was already sprinting away before the sentence was halfway out her mouth, and she swiftly left the two bemused teens behind her.

At least, that had been the plan, until a familiar melody of clicks and whirrs behind her froze her in her tracks.

Her instinct recognized the music for what it meant, but her rational mind refused to believe it. But when she slowly turned around, not wanting to believe but not being able to stop herself from looking anyway, she saw what she already knew was there: the yellow car that had nearly run her over was standing up. And the two teenagers were not the least bit distressed by this. Well, not distressed in the expected sense anyway.

"What the hell are you DOING?? Dude, she's going to see you!"

The boy jumped in front of the car-turned-robot and wildly waved his hands over his head. Because he was so much more distracting than the almost twenty-foot yellow robot behind him.

"This isn't what it looks like! We're, uh, delivering a special effects car for a major motion action picture being filmed in California, right Mikki??"

'Mikki' slapped a hand over her eyes and groaned.

"Relax Sam, this is the girl we've been looking for," the yellow mech said, stepping around the boy and approaching the still frozen Aine. "She's practically saturated in trace amounts of energon radiation."

"'Saturated' in 'trace' amounts? Isn't that an oxymoron?" Mikki asked, tilted her head and putting a finger to her chin thoughtfully.

"You know what I mean." The bot was in front of her, masked face staring down at her. "She probably knows where Elita is."

In the ensuing split second, many thoughts raced through Aine's mind all at once.

Elita

Looking for Elita

No time

New guy

Strange guy

Strange car

Blue car

Big fight

Onslaught

Masks

Wants Elita

Kill Elita

Revenge for dead gestalt

Gestalt team

Revenge

Mask

Kill Elita

Danger
Danger

Danger

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

The yellow bot actually flinched back from the scream, and Aine took the opportunity to scuttle away and try to escape. But she didn't look where she was going, and within four steps she trip over a large rock and went flying, scraping herself even further. Heedless of the pain Aine tried to stand up and run forward all at once, but the delay was enough for the other bot to catch up and grab her around her middle, lifting her up as easily as a parent lifted a toddler by the back of their overalls. As soon as she was in the air, he scooped her in his other hand and held her gently but firmly with fingers too stubby and a palm too small.

Aine struggled in the metal grip so similar to Elita's yet so different and wrong, flailing and wiggling like a fish until the mech had to use both hands to keep his hold on her.

"Hey hold on, calm down before you hurt yourself. I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk."

(Liar liar they're deceivers it's in the name he'll help Onslaught kill Elita can't let them can't let them but what about me?)

"You're scaring her even worse!" the girl chastised. "Put her down already, can't you see she's terrified?"

"But if I put her down, she'll try to run away again," her captor reasoned, with a hint of apology.

(fear fear fear so scared can't escape going to fail everyone but I won't tell them where Elita is have to protect her right now but so scared scared scared chest hurts hurts I'm scared)

The boy was trying to say something, she could see his lips moving. But it was so hard to listen to him, he sounded far away, like his voice was being muffled by cotton in her ears.

"Hey, girl, ummm...Aine, right? Did I pronounce that right? Anyway, he's not gonna hurt you. He's completely harmless, nicest guy you'll ever meet."

"Yeah, but she don't know that. Can't blame her for freakin' out."

A new voice, this one male, different, but with a metallic undertone that betrayed inhuman origin. Wide-eyed, Aine watched the little silver car she hadn't even realized was there explode and transform in the exact same yet radically different manner as she had seen Elita and the yellow mech do, only this own added his own spin that she wasn't completely sure was strictly necessary. Not that she was in a frame of mind to criticize superfluous add-on. Instead, all she could car about was that the small silver mech with the visor –

(another mask another one of them oh god will never escape now gonna die here they'll try to make me talk but I don't want to die heart beating fast fast fast shaking trembling getting harder to breath so scared scared scared want to scream but can't no air can't breathe can't scream)

- was coming closer with the corner of his lips turned down in a disapproving frown.

"Toldja ya shouldn't'v done that," the silver newcomer said, circling around the girl and mech so as to get a better look without coming too close himself. "Look at her, she looks ready to faint dead away."

(dead dead gonna die here can't breathe just scream scream scream and help will come that there's not enough air)

"Maybe this was a bad idea after all," her captor admitted. "I'm really sorry Aine, but I need you to listen to me for a minute."

(my name knows my name doesn't matter have to scream it's the only way to survive but can't get the air to scream scream scream)

"I'm going to put you down now, but…wait, are you alright?"

(scream scream screamscreamscreamscream-)

"Sam, she's not breathing normally…oh Primus, I think I broke her!!"

"What? Whaddya mean she's not breathing normally??"

"It's like she can't breathe! Jazz, you're the human expert, what should I do??"

(-screamscreamscreamscreamscreamscream-)

"Ah-aaah-aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH-"

Bumblebee recoiled from the high pitched and seemingly never ending scream the girl – who was hopefully Aine – was suddenly emitting. Jazz and the two kids had actually been taken aback, and Jazz had slapped his hands over his sensitive audios, which had been unable to recalibrate fast enough to the sudden auditory onslaught.

Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with her breathing anymore, Bumblebee thought, holding the red faced girl away from him with one hand, as if the extra two feet of distance would protect him.

What happened next, Bumblebee wouldn't be able to grasp until it was already over.

Out of nowhere a hand shot out and grabbed the wrist holding the girl, forcefully tugging him forward before he realized it was even there. The sudden jerk forces Bumblebee off balance and he steps forward to avoid falling. In the same instant he comes forward –

CRACK!

- Mr. Face gets a personal introduction to a Mr. Elbow. Bumblebees head snaps backwards and he feels the girl fall from his limp hand. As soon as she's gone, the scout goes from stumbling backwards to doubling over as someone knees jams itself hard into his unprotected abdomen, which is immediately followed by another elbow to the back of his head, sending him falling face flat on the ground.

All together, it was over in less than three seconds, tops.

Bumblebee's first thought was, 'Ow.' Bumblebee's first coherent thought was 'what the slag was that??' His pain and budding embarrassment and anger morphed into slight fear and dread as he heard the familiar click of a gun, probably pointed at the back of his head and ready to blow his CPU to little bitty pieces.

Bumblebee's first thoughts went to Sam and Mikaela, out and vulnerable with only Jazz to protect them. Would Onslaught demand their surrender? Their compliance? Would he kill Sam as belated revenge for the death of Megatron? Jazz wouldn't risk the kids, he'll protect them, but he'll have to get away, leave Bumblebee behind. It was the only way he would be able to save them -

Wait

Why wasn't Jazz shooting, and WHY WAS HE LAUGHING??

"Bumblebee? Is that you?"

The speaker was not Jazz, and unless Onslaught had gotten his vocal processors changed for something more feminine and cultured, he was pretty sure it wasn't the Combaticon leader either. While it had been vorns since he last heard it, it was still nearly as familiar as Optimus'. He didn't need to look up to know who had just beat the living daylights out of him in four moves.

"Hi Elita."

Mikaela had imagined a dozen times over what meeting the Femme Commander would be like.

Bumblebee prostrate on the ground with a maniacally laughing Jazz and an embarrassed looking femme hadn't been one of them.

Mikaela stole a glance at Sam. The taller boy was trying to cover his grin and snorts of laughter out of respect for his downed friend, even covering up his mouth, but it was a losing battle as the laughter was still reaching his eyes.

"Bumblebee, my deepest apologies!" The tall red femme said, using the arm not currently holding the girl close to her chassis to help the Camero up. "I heard Aine, and…I do not know what came over me, I simply lost my senses. I had truly feared she and Nolan where in danger! Did I injure you?"

"Mostly just my pride." Bumblebee said, nursing the slight dent in his abdomen.

"Oh man! Oh Primus! That was PRICELESS! That was so worth the trip!" Jazz laughed, finally calming down a little. He grinned broadly up at Elita. "One o'the best "nice t'meet'cha's" I've ever seen outta ya, Elita."

"I'm so glad my misery makes you so happy," Bumblebee muttered darkly, and even Mikaela couldn't help but giggle. Jazz just descended into a new bout of laughter. Elita, meanwhile, turned her attention to Mikaela and Sam still standing a little awkwardly to the sides.

"It would seen proper introductions are going to be necessitated," Elita commented with a smile. But her expression hardened quickly. "However, we lack the time for them now. Aine, where is…Aine? Aine?!"

Elita's expression went from concerned to alarmed, and after coming closer Mikaela could see why. Even from the distance Mikaela could make out the pale, clammy skin, the sun glistineing off her sweat soaked forehead. Her chest was heaving but her breathes came short and quick, and she was trembling so violently she almost rattled against the metal body holding her.

It didn't take a doctor to realize something was very, very wrong.

"Aine, Aine, what is wrong?" Elita asked, cupping a hand around the girl's body. Elita looked up at Bumblebee. "What happened to her??"

Bumblebee shook his read rapidly. "I don't know! She started breathing oddly and it almost looked like she was choking, I think. She was just fine a few minutes ago, I swear!"

"I'm callin' Ratchet," Jazz said. "Maybe he'll know what's happenin'."

But Mikaela had been staring intently at the girl, and realized that her symptoms were very, very familiar.

"Put her down!" she shouted, holding her arms up. "Elita, give her to me. Everyone else, just calm down and back away. Jazz, don't bother with Ratchet, he won't be able to help."

"Do you know what this is?" Elita asked, obediently giving the girl over. Mikaela knelt to the ground, holding Aine close to herself like a mother, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"Relax, she'll be fine when it's over. Just calm down and give her some space. You freak out, it'll only make it worse. Shhh, shhh, its okay baby, everything's okay, I'm right here…"

The bots and boy all gave Mikaela a wide circle.

"Is she having a heart attack?" Bumblebee ventured. Elita whipped her head around.

"What? Heart attack?"

"It's something I've read about online, after Sam's grandfather had a scare about a month ago. Aine's symptoms are identical to what I've read."

"How dangerous are they?" Elita demanded more than asked.

"I…people as young as Aine aren't supposed to get them, I don't think. It's almost always older people or people with preexisting heart conditions."

Elita recoiled backwards with the air of someone who had just realized something profound and shocking. Aine clutched Mikaela even more tightly, and the older girl shot Bumblebee a withering look.

"She's having a panic attack, not a heart attack! So would you stop freaking her own so she can calm down already??"

For an eternity time did not exist. There wasn't a past, a future, only the present and the tunnel of fear and panic that clouded her mind. She could hear voices, but they were far away and meant nothing to her. They were meaningless, she couldn't focus on them where her body was trembling and fighting against her so violently it threatened to fall apart. Even when her body was moved and she felt hard ground under her and warm, soft arms around her, it didn't matter. She just clutched the person like a drowning person clutches a scrap of wood in the middle of the storm after the ship has sunk.

But finally, finally, the end of the tunnel came, and the world slowly came back into focus, the voices penetrating her foggy mind as her breathing slowed and her trembles lessened. As she came down from the attack, she blinked and latched onto the first thing she was able to understand.

"Panic…attack? What's that?" She asked weakly, tiredly.

Her holder, the girl from before, was stroking her head. "This is your first one then? I'm not surprised, you're pretty young. Panic attacks are something that happens sometimes when a person is under a lot of stress or anxiety. Considering all you've been through the last couple of days, I bet all the stress has been building up and it just kinda…came out I guess, after Bumblebee picked you up. I'm really sorry about that, he means well, he was just afraid you'd run off and we'd lose you. I don't think he thought through that very well."

"Panic attacks?"

"Um, yeah. Kinda scary, since they feel almost exactly like heart attacks. But they're, well, I won't say 'harmless' because they suck so much, but they don't cause any lasting damage. Think of it as a really, really sucky way the mind and body deals with too much stress."

"Panic attacks? That's all they were? Just panic attacks?"

"Yeah I guess…wait, 'they' were? You've had these before, and you didn't know what they were?" The girl held her closer. "Oh you poor thing! This must have been terrifying for you!"

Aine limply let the girl hold her, her own expression completely blank.

Panic attacks? Aine had never even heard of them! But this girl talked about them like they were…like they were something normal, something lots of people went through.

She breathed out, and practically collapsed against the girl.

She felt as if the ground was shifting under her feet, but at the same time, she felt incredibly light. Was she happy? No, too much was going on for that. It was more like she had been carrying a huge boulder on her back because it was what she was supposed to, when out of the blue someone comes along and said 'no you don't.' It was…liberating and disconcerting at the same time.

"Aine."

Both girls craned their necks up to see the red femme hovering over them, concern clear on her expression. "Aine, are you feeling better?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so," she said. Of all the emotions she might expect to feel, embarrassment at having to showcase her "panic attack" wasn't one of them.

"Good. But Aine, I need you to tell me where Nolan is now."

Aine froze.

Oh god, panic attack or no, how could she have forgotten for even half a second??

She looked up at Elita, and the femme could already see the answer on her face. But…

"Is he hiding Aine?" She asked, getting down on one knee, hoping against hope her instinct was wrong. But Aine dashed those hopes when she shook her head.

"Nolan, he…I'm so sorry Elita, I couldn't find him in time!"

"What happened Aine?"

"He…he took him Elita! Onslaught took Nolan away!"

Aren't I evil? :)

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