AN: I'm so sorry for this chapter. Like really sorry. I don't know where the idea came from or why, but I just had to write it. Don't worry, everything will sort itself out in the end, I think. I haven't quite decided, but I hope you enjoy anyway.
It happened in slow motion. She watched as he tripped, the food flying off the plates as they slid out his hands, smashing on the floor. Steve had lovingly made them dinner, dinner that was scattered all over the floor.
"Oh shit. You okay?" she sat up, leaning on the back of the couch to look at him
"Yeah, no thanks to you and your stupid shoes" he grumbled. She looked down, noticing her shoes lying on the floor where she had thrown them earlier
"I'm so sorry. I didn't realise I'd left them there" she apologised "I'll help you clean up"
"No, you'll cut yourself, you're not wearing anything on your feet" he pushed her back onto the couch when she went to get up.
"Pass me my shoes" she said when she couldn't reach them from where she was sitting
"If it wasn't for your damn shoes we wouldn't be in this position in the first place. If you just put them away every now and then" he complained, grabbing a towel to clean up the floor
"At least I throw away the empty milk cartons" this was the third time they'd fought this week. Once about the milk, another about the laundry and now one about her shoes.
"Don't turn this around on me. Put your damn shoes away" he growled at her. She seemed taken aback by his tone, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to care.
"And what if I don't want to?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at him
"We are not having sex right now Natasha" Steve threw his hands in the air in exasperation
"I know that"
"We can't have sex every time we have an argument. We have to talk about things like adults" he groaned in exasperation
"I never suggested that we were going to have sex" she argued back
"God, you're unbelievable" he sighed, giving up any hope of cleaning up the mess
"Oh I'm unbelievable? What about you?" she bit back
"What about me?" he asked in shock, narrowing his eyes at her
"I'm not about to do this right now" she sighed, sitting down on the sofa, her head in her hands
"Well we have to do it sometime. We can't keep putting off this conversation" he retaliated. They kept having the same conversations over and over, and quite frankly he was done with her attitude.
"Well maybe I don't want to have this conversation" she snapped
"Fine"
"Fine"
"Good"
"Good" They lulled into an uncomfortable silence, Steve bouncing his knee nervously.
"Can you stop?" she snapped, glaring at him before folding her hands back in her lap.
"Look, I'm gonna go" she got up off the couch, unable to take the silence anymore
"Natasha" he looked up at her, pain in his eyes.
"It's fine Steve, really. We're good, I'll see you later" They both knew that it wasn't fine, and that they couldn't keep ignoring their problems, but fighting was getting them nowhere. Time to cool off was what they both needed. Probably. Hopefully.
Missions. Sometimes they went well, other times they did not. Sometimes it was a combination of the two. This was one of those times.
"Rogers, what's your status?" she asked over the comms
"All civilians are clear, moving in on the compound now"
"Copy that, you need backup?"
"I've got the east side, send reinforcements for the west and south. You and Barton move in on the north"
"Copy that Captain" They closed in on the building, sneaking through the shadows. The north side of the building was sparsely guarded, so they were able to get in without being seen.
"This is too easy" Clint said
"Cap, you experiencing any resistance on your side?" she asked through the comms
"Nothing"
"Same" Lewis said. He was the current leader of the strike team. He was a good guy, though when on missions with half the Avengers, he often got nervous.
"What are our orders?"
"Continue with caution. We're probably walking into a trap"
"We're definitely walking into a trap"
"Thank you Natasha. We're walking into a trap, continue as planned. Romanoff, Barton, get the information and get back out. Strike, take out as many of these soldiers as possible, remember they may be powered, but we need that information. That's the priority here"
"Yes sir" They infiltrated the building, tracking down what looked like a computer lab. She immediately rushed over to a computer, plugging in the hard drive and downloading any information she could get.
"We have a problem" Clint's worried voice rang out
"What is it?" Steve asked
"The building's rigged to blow. Everyone evacuate now, timers on 3 minutes and counting" there was scrambling over the comms, everyone shouting orders at their men
"You got everything Tash?" Clint asked. She pulled the hard drive out of the computer
"Yep, all done. Let's get out of here" they got out the building with time to spare and were waiting at a safe distance for Steve and one of the strike teams.
"Rogers, you've got 30 seconds" the other strike team had returned, but Steve was yet to surface.
"I know. I'll be out" he reassured them
"What the hell are you doing Rogers?" Natasha asked, a mixture of concern and anger in her voice
"Relax would you, I'm here" Steve skidded up besides them, holding a ginger tabby cat.
"A cat? You went back in for a fucking cat?" she hissed at him
"Can we not do this now?" he asked sharply, turning back to the team
"Whatever" she waved him off, letting him give out orders, though she wasn't listening. It took Clint nudging her to bring her back to the present.
"Just breathe Tash. Keep your calm until we get back, then go off at him. You don't need to fight in front of the other agents" She stewed in silence for the entirety of the flight back, starring daggers at the back of Steve's head.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" she yelled at him. They'd landed, debriefed and made it all the way back to the tower before she lost her cool. She was fuming, and as soon as she could she dragged him into the nearest room, which just happened to be a meeting room.
"NO, I'M NOT, 'FUCKING KIDDING YOU RIGHT NOW NATASHA'" he mocked her. He'd so badly wanted to keep calm and have this conversation like normal people, but clearly Natasha had decided that wasn't the best course of action.
"YOU MADE A STUPID DECISION THAT COULD'VE KILLED YOU" she screamed at him.
"WELL I'M STILL ALIVE SO CLEARLY I SHOULD'VE TRIED HARDER" he quipped, yelling back just as loud.
"YOU ARE SO FUCKING PREDICTABLE ROGERS. YOU AND YOUR STUPID SAVIOUR COMPLEX. IT WAS A FUCKING CAT" Why couldn't he understand why she was so angry at him?
"IT WASN'T JUST A CAT. IT WAS ABOUT DOING THE RIGHT THING"
"A CAT IS NOT A PERSON STEVE. IT'S A PRETTY LARGE JUMP FROM CAT TO HUMAN"
"WELL I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH SAVING PEOPLE TO MAKE UP YOUR PAST"
"THAT'S DIFFERENT" she defended
"HOW? HOW IS THAT ANY FUCKING DIFFERENT?"
"BECAUSE IT IS AND YOU KNOW IT"
"AT LEAST I DON'T PRETEND I'M NOT INJURED WHEN I AM. I'D RATHER DIE IN THE FIELD OVER AN INFECTION THREE DAYS LATER"
"GOOD FOR YOU! NOT ALL OF US CAN BE CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA" She threw a lamp at him in rage, missing and smashing the glass wall behind him. They both knew she missed on purpose, if she had wanted to hit him, she would've.
"That's a little extreme don't you think?" Steve commented, causing her to flare her nostrils at him, a fire burning in her eyes
"That's a little rich coming from you don't you think? After that stunt you pulled earlier" she mocked
"Pity there's no shoes lying around for you to throw at me"
"YOU LITTLE FUCKING-" she cut herself off as she threw a punch at him violently, though he ducked before she could make contact. He threw the first thing his hands found on the table, which happened to be a large folder, hitting her squarely in the chest and knocking her back. Neither of them actually wanted to hurt the other, but they both needed to get out their frustrations, and this was normal for them. Well, they usually sparred in a much more controlled environment, but this was fine too. She promptly had him on the floor in seconds, pinning his arms above his head. Normally when they ended up like this whilst sparring, they would kiss or flirt with one another, but this fight was pure rage from both of them. They fought hard and long, neither pulling their punches until the meeting room was well and truly destroyed. They sat next to each other on the floor, broken glass and furniture surrounding them.
"This is ridiculous" Natasha almost laughed, assessing the state of the room.
"I know, we shouldn't fight like this" Steve replied, looking at her
"No, I mean us. I care about you so much, but I can't keep doing this if you keep acting like you don't give a shit about yourself" It was harsh, but she had to accept that if they never talked, nothing would ever change
"Well I can't keep doing this if you can't accept that sometimes I have to put myself in the line of fire to save others" he retaliated quickly, instantly regretting his tone and sending a small smile over to her.
"I can't do that Steve" she confessed, frowning slightly
"Well neither can I" he replied softly
"Do you think maybe we rushed into this whole thing?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to say the words.
"Maybe. I think we need some time apart right now. To think everything over, see if we actually want this"
"I think that would be for the best" They drifted into silence, not awkward but not comfortable either, both trying to delay the inevitable
"I really don't want to lose you" she admitted, looking into his eyes
"Me either, but this isn't working, and I think we both have to accept that whatever we may feel for each other, maybe isn't the most practical"
"Maybe the idea is better than the reality"
"Yeah" Steve said, getting up from where he was sitting, offering her a hand up. She took it, hauling herself off the floor before coming face to face with him
"Goodbye Steve"
"Bye Nat" they both left the room, going in separate directions. To most people it probably seemed cold and heartless, but to them it was the job. Get it done quickly and efficiently, no room for sentimentality. But that didn't mean that as soon as she was out of sight she didn't collapse onto the floor, head in hands, trying to stop the flow of tears and failing miserably. She tried to calm herself down, concentrate on her breathing, but she couldn't overcome the blinding pain in her chest.
"Natasha?" she heard the tentative voice of Tony from the other end of the hallway. She quickly wiped her tears away, looking up at him with a stoic face
"Hey Stark. Ummm, sorry about the meeting room, there was a bit of an accident and it's kinda wrecked" she apologised quickly, keeping all emotion out of her voice
"I don't care. Is everything okay?" he asked gently. It seemed weird, him being kind without any ulterior motive, and it took her by surprise.
"Yeah, everything's fine" she was a master of deception, she could keep her cool in front of Tony Stark for more than ten seconds.
"You sure?" Goddammit Stark. She could control herself, Tony was not getting the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
"Yeah, all good" she felt a tear roll down her face despite her best efforts. She frantically wiped them away, pushing her head down desperate for him not to see.
"Fuck" she finally gave in, reduced to a quivering mess in the middle of a hallway. She expected Tony to leave, she wouldn't blame him. They weren't exactly the most open with each other at the best of times, let alone now, so when he sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder she was surprised to say the least.
"If you tell anyone about this-" she threatened, though unable to look at him
"You'll kill me?" he laughed, causing her lips to turn up slightly
"I was actually gonna say cut off your balls but yeah"
"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me Red"
AN: If you have any ideas that you desperately, or not so desperately want incorporated into this story, please let me know and I'll try to write them in. I hope you enjoyed, please follow, favourite and review. Constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated.