Hi all,
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Thank you all!
xxxx
Day 10: The break
'I swear to God if you wake me up one more time, I'm genuinely going to cry.' She whispered furiously.
He retracted his hand, groaning, he really was exhausted now and that stupid, bleeding alarm should just go sit in the bottom of the bloody garden! He sat up, yawning and rubbing his eyes. His back was soaked with sweat from the heat of the room and the sharing of his bed with someone. Even the bottom of his hair was wet.
He got up to stand by the window, but the breeze did little to soothe him. He felt groggy, he felt sticky, he felt hot. Trying to ignore the beautiful girl in your bed was difficult enough without having the stress of the weather. He made his way to the bathroom, had a quick cold shower and sat back on the bed, only in a towel. If he was more lucid he might've been embarrassed but it was just so humid.
She was sitting up, his shirt hanging off her showing a bare shoulder. Her bun had slipped to the bottom of her neck and, like him, was soaked with heat.
'It's so warm in here. You didn't turn the heat up or anything did you?' She was scratching her head.
'I've done nothing.' Even his words felt hot and the beads of cold water running down his neck were currently changing temperature.
'Fuck this.'
He was expecting her to walk out into one of the spare rooms, he was not expecting what actually happened. He was frozen, head to the window, trying not to watch her reflection. His shirt fell to his feet, crumpled with heat. He was holding his breath. Was he meant to leave? That would be the right thing to do? He had to be a gentleman.
He was avoiding looking her, even turning to acknowledge that she was inches from him…naked almost! He grabbed his shorts from earlier and slipped them back on. He'd technically been kicked out of his own bed…but it was the right thing to do he couldn't stay there. That would be wrong, wouldn't it?
'Where you going?' Her voice was soft and though he couldn't see her properly, thank God, he could see that she was lying on her front, covering her bare self, turning only her head to look at him.
'I-er-I'm just- your-urm. Privacy.'
'If I'm making you uncomfortable, I can put your shirt on again. I don't want to kick you out of your own bed…' she said carefully though there was a chance she was so tired and so hot and in so much pain that she couldn't give a damn if she wasn't wearing anything. Apart from his shorts of course. She would keep those on, she wasn't insane.
His could feel his voice raise in a few octaves despite the lack of moisture in his throat. 'Did you want some water?' He asked hoarsely.
'That'd be nice.' She whispered, laying her head back down again.
It wasn't too late in the black evening and if he could do so, he'd end up getting a good night's sleep…he couldn't see that happening now. He deliberately whacked his head to the middle of the island, feeling the cool marble against him stump the rising heat.
He was breathing shallowly. He didn't want to admit he was uncomfortable…because part of him wasn't, it was the biggest compliment having her in his bed with no shirt on…but another part was uncomfortable….painfully so.
She was asleep when he placed the glass on her bedside table, still lying face down for whose comfort he wasn't sure. Maybe it was just a side effect? He was a doctor. She wasn't getting naked in front of him for his own self or hers. It was science. Blow to the head causes a change in hormones…obviously…
He was on the edge of his bed despite the large amount of space he could have easily fit in to, trying to name all the Italian counties he'd visited in old Latin. That seemed to be distracting.
He was still awake when the next alarm went off a few hours later. He shut it off quickly wishing he hadn't. He didn't know how else to wake her up without touching her and he wouldn't do that.
'Esme?'
No movement. He felt sick. Now would not be the best time for her not to wake up. Oh man up, you've seen plenty of naked people before! He told himself. But that was for science…This is…just because? He cleared his throat, avoiding looking to the perfection that was her soft, smooth skin.
'Esme?'
He raised his hand but didn't move it. He'd seen her in a towel for Christ Sake that was almost the same amount of exposure.
'Esme?' He said her name clearly now, he was a doctor but not currently practicing...these things were normal….
Would three in the morning be too early to call Eleazer? No he wasn't to call him, he wouldn't make any useful suggestions anyway.
She cleared her throat, nuzzling her head into the pillow before pulling herself up a little and glaring at him. Not that he was staring…because he wasn't…but she'd managed to use to duvet to cover herself without necessarily intending to. The only proof that she was part naked was his shirt on the floor, the rising hysteria of joyous panic coursing through his body and of course her smooth bare shoulders.
'Were you speaking Latin?' She was squinting in the dark, eyes too sore to open properly. She reached for the glass on the counter so that he looked away, trying to be polite, trying to be gentlemanly, trying not to freak out.
'No…'
'Have you slept at all?' She knew him too well, either that or his stiff posture was keeping her awake.
'No….' he muttered truthfully, he was going to be walking dead tomorrow.
'Pass me your shirt…' she whispered, and he could feel her shift to pay more attention in covering herself up. She sounded…ashamed and she was. Why else would he be reacting so badly to her unless he was disgusted by her? It was selfish and incredibly dumb for her to do whatever she did, he was completely immobilised. That wasn't her intention…
'No, it's not that.' He didn't want to make her feel guilty.
'Carlisle, you're clearly uncomfortable. I shouldn't have put you in this sort of situation…'
'No. Honestly. It's not you, I swear.' He was so lame. She was sat up, covering herself with the duvet completely. He breathed in.
'I've-just-never-had-a-naked-girl-in-my-bed-before' He said quickly and mutedly. He was grateful it was dark in the room. He was feeling sick with embarrassment.
'What?' She sounded like she was relieved.
He sighed, holding his head in his hands… 'You're very beautiful….it's…distracting.' he admitted after a while, holding the glass to his warm face, avoiding her eyes.
'Distracting from what?!' She asked confused, but she was smiling a little.
'From sleeping.' What kind of person complains about having someone so utterly beautiful in his bed? What was he playing at?!
'Oh.' She said. 'Well, I don't mind. Just pass me your shirt…'
'You're fine, I just won't look…' He said, smiling crookedly.
'Is that a compliment or an insult?' she asked, feeling more like it was an insult. Sure, stay comfortable but I can't bear to look at you because you're revolting...
'Compliment of course.' He moved himself slowly, further into his normal space within the bed but he was still rigid.
'When's the next one?' She whispered and he could feel it by his ear making him shiver. He was shivering all over now but he still felt like he was sat on a deck chair on the sun.
'Five. Then you can sleep long into the afternoon.' He promised. He had to resist the urge to turn around, to watch her face, her mouth, her expression. It was awkward talking to her from behind his shoulder.
'I hardly think that's going to possible.'
He'd almost forgotten the whole reason she was in his bed. That whole-hitting-the-head-issue.
'Can I get you anything?'
'A good night's sleep?' she breathed softly.
This was a good reminder of his duty. He leaned and reached into his top draw pulling out a packet of pills and popping two into his hand.
'Here, take these.'
She took them gratefully, finishing the last of her drink before pulling the cover very loosely around her, then she wrapped an arm around his ribs and cuddled into his back. He stayed rigid at first, thinking too much as usual, panicking slightly, smelling the scent of her bubble bath from last night and then- he just let it go. He was too tired to think about it anymore, or to over-think about it. Whatever she was wearing, it didn't matter. He just wanted sleep. Well…he wouldn't of necessarily denied the offer of- Oh just go to sleep, Cullen!
He turned the alarm off again, breathing deeply, trying to reign in his temper, which he didn't usually possess.
'I heard it,' she yawned against him. He sighed. He'd be up again in two hours. Great. So he buried himself in the warmth. It wasn't too hot anymore and he was grateful for that because if it was, there would be a high chance he'd be sleeping outside. He was so irritable he could barely find fun in his embarrassment from earlier.
The last time it went off, he unplugged the damn thing and with a sense of eerie serenity, watched it swim in the toilet bowl, crushed into various little black pieces of plastic and metal and wire.
It was difficult to decide whether it was the lack of sleep that made him so pissed off or the fact he'd barely got a minute to accept that she was still naked…in his bed…looking beautiful and perfect and gorgeous but still so modest as if she were a famous piece carved from marble and stone.
He caught Edward outside his door, picking him up before he had a chance to run into his room like he would usually have done.
'And where do you think you're going?' He asked groggily. He was dressed but only just, his tie was loose, his face bleak, his head sore and Edward was grinning at him.
'I want to say good morning!' He said cheerily, as though it was obvious. Carlisle moved before he had chance to push the door open from his shoulders.
'Don't even think about it.' He grumbled but relented a little when he saw his look of disappointment. 'She's had a rough night, she doesn't need you jumping all over her does she?'
'I guess not….' He said miserably.
'There we are then. Get dressed, I'll get breakfast ready.'
Edward made a face of disgust which he caught. So much for better food, it was clear to see who was the natural cook out of the two of them and it wasn't Carlisle.
'Enough cheek. Now get ready.'
He frowned at him.
'Now, Edward!'
Goddamn he was tired. Edward ran off into his room, glaring. He was slow getting ready, annoyed that he'd been told off but what did it matter? He was only being polite by wanting to say good-morning!
He could hear him down stairs making breakfast so he ran across to his room and opened the door. She was sleeping, torso twisted so that she was lying face down against the mattress, the cover was only just covering the loose shorts and though he saw nothing he shouldn't of, he knew she was naked.
When he closed it, alarmed, Carlisle was glaring at him. He must have heard him cross the landing.
'What did I just tell you?!'
It wasn't like him to be angry but he looked furious, his eyebrow raised, arms folded across his chest, grumbling. It wasn't like Edward to disobey though either so they both had a change of mood this morning.
'I told you not to go in there!' He crouched like he usually did. 'Edward look at me. I told you not to go in there.'
'I didn't mean to!' He grumbled, looking worriedly at his feet. Carlisle rolled his eyes. He'd meant to, he just hadn't expected whatever the heck he saw.
'This is a prime example of why you should listen to me. Did you see anything you shouldn't?' He was careful, he didn't want to know if he was honest but he couldn't ignore it.
'No.' Edward muttered.
'Wrong answer.'
Carlisle wasn't usually so…unrelenting. If he was ever disobedient which was rare, he used to get the quick telling off, the feeling of guilt and then he was fine for the rest of the day. But now he was fighting off tears from feeling so bad. Carlisle never reprimanded him so harshly before.
'I didn't!' He promised, looking away with disappointment.
'Just tell me so I can explain whatever needs explaining and get on with the day.' He sighed, agitated. It was difficult to tell if he was more annoyed at Edward not listening to him or the attack of privacy. He really did seem tired and this seemed like a trick but he couldn't hide from Carlisle. He was already feeling guilty as it was.
'She was naked…but I didn't see anything! I swear!'
'Son, you better not be lying to me…'
'I promise, Carlisle.' It wasn't often he called him Carlisle and it wasn't often that he cried. He opened his arms up. Edward hiding under them.
'This was a matter of privacy. Do you know how embarrassed she might've been if she'd caught you…'
'I'm sorry.' Edward said grumpily.
'Don't do it again, okay? When I tell you not to do something, it's for your own good.'
He followed Edward downstairs, encouraging him to eat his food without the fuss and was happily discussing the news events. Nice little dose of destroyed innocence to start the morning. Great. My favourite. Yay.
'Dad?'
'Yes Edward?' What he would give for ten minutes to just sleep in any bed possible, he'd take the bottom of the ocean for all he cared at the moment. Edward was staring at him.
'You weren't giving her babies were you?'
'No!' He combed his hair from his eyes. 'I told you not to look in those medical textbooks, too. Didn't I?'
Those damn medical textbooks were causing more hassle than they were worth. There were so many downsides to having a child eager to learn.
'Why was she naked?'
'I don't know, Edward. Girls are confusing.' He drank his coffee quickly. Edward seemed surprised by the tone and a little confused by the lack of explanation. He sighed, he'd be better tomorrow, well rested, less irritable and overall grateful. 'She was hot. That was all….'
She wasn't just hot she was mesmerizing.
'You'd tell me if you were giving her babies wouldn't you?'
He couldn't help but smile now, the concern and the jealousy was a little funny, Carlisle tickled him making him cry out with laughter.
'I'm not giving her babies...'
He'd barely got to second base and here he was with a seven year old discussing his-lack of- sex life. Why the hell hadn't he been as much of a slut as his friends had?!
'I wouldn't mind having a brother…' He said finally, nodding. Carlisle rolled his eyes. Now that had been decided he could just get on with his day. Thanks for the request son, I'll try my best… He really, really, really needed sleep.
'We've barely had a second date yet, Kid. Don't get your hopes up.'
'But you do love her, right?'
'We had this conversation last night, Edward. Now is not the time, finish your breakfast. You don't want to be late.'
'Dad?'
He pointed to Edwards's breakfast bowl but he wasn't eating it, if he just ignored him for the moment maybe he could do the trick where you fall asleep with your eyes open.
'Daad?!'
'Yees!' He replied hotly, frowning at him
'Yes to me or yes you love her?'
'Yes to both, finish your breakfast!'
Edward was smiling on the way to school.
When she woke up, she was strangely lonely and her head was still hurting but thankfully not as bad as yesterday. She'd almost forgotten about the shirt incident mainly because she'd had to put it back on before Carlisle left as Edward had wanted to say good-bye, so she'd done so sleepily, feeling completely out of it and even more out of it when Carlisle kissed her the corner of her mouth. But then he had that affect on her a lot.
She stretched out before forcing herself up and out of bed. Judging by Carlisle's expression this morning she didn't really have a right to complain, he'd looked pained by the lack of sleep. She really thought the lack of clothes might encourage a new kind of move…but it hadn't. He'd stayed locked to the same part of the bed looking like he was handcuffed, looking like he was furious at himself, looking tired.
She played Edward's CD and gave the whole house a total spritz. She hoovered all over, she cleaned all the bathrooms and all the bedrooms, she did a small spot of de-weeding in the garden, she polished, she shined, she worked and after all that time, it was still just before lunch. She checked the freezer, checked the fridge and decided she'd make a roast. That would take a few hours of her concentration.
Carlisle could feel his eyes watering as he made the same comment beneath every essay answer: requires further explanation to achieve a higher grade. It was boring, painfully so and even when he was free he couldn't get through on Esme's mobile so he decided to just leave it. She could still be sleeping for all he knew.
He had his head to the desk when Tanya came walking in. In the shining floor he could see the reflection of her stilettos, he could've probably heard them if he bothered to make an effort, and the shadow of a very short skirt. She was smiling when she saw him.
'Sleeping on the job, eh Carlisle?'
He groaned, which was very much unlike him and reluctantly pulled up his heavy head. His eyes were red and glossy, every movement he made was small, reserved as if he was trying not to overexert himself.
'I see the classroom's still a mess. And she's taken the day off today. What a cheek!'
He stared at her for a few seconds, not actually looking at her like she might have perceived, he was trying to understand something. Classroom?
'What friends?' He found his mouth speaking before his brain kicked in. Like he was repeating a thought rather than asking a question.
'What?' She asked, smiling at him.
'You said friends. You said the security guards let her friends in…'
Tanya rolled her eyes, suddenly excited. 'Oh yeah! Apparently there was two of them! Aro gave them the go-ahead. Awful that guy, huh? You would've thought he had more sense than to let randomers onto the site.'
He couldn't tell if the room was spinning because he was so sleep deprived or because of her words. 'Who were they? What did they look like?!'
Tanya shrugged. 'I don't really know. But I get the impression it was some vengeful boyfriend or whatever.'
'What did they look like?!' He was cold, thinking but not fast enough for his liking.
'Well, I don't know. I didn't see them. All I heard was Esme's name followed by several other accusations. Quite the get-around, so I hear...' She laughed, clearly entertained by the gossip.
'Shit, Charlie!' He grabbed his briefcase and his phone, turning his computer off quickly.
'I was thinking we could perhaps meet for dinner at yours? You could tell me all about your holiday seeing as I was unable to come.'
'Uh-huh.' He muttered, already punching in the numbers on his phone.
'So dinner?'
He was already running down the hall, calling down to her 'Uh? Dinner?' He wasn't really focusing, he'd probably regret that decision later.
The kids were sat where they always were. He passed out the lunches that he and Esme had packed last night, which was just left over dinner really but it had to be better than whatever they were serving behind him.
'Bella, your dad's at the station right now, right?'
It didn't matter if she was seven, she was observant enough to know her father's rota like the back of her hand. She nodded happily. Carlisle was jittery, as if he'd drunk shot after shot of double expresso. Edward preferred him jittery to sombre.
'Great, enjoy lunch. See you after school, Son.'
That watched him hurry off out to the staff car park. Alice was laughing.
'He told me he loved her this morning…' Edward said, slowly drinking from his carton, fighting off the stares. Alice had nearly crawled onto the table.
'Really?! What did he say?!'
'That he loved her? Obviously' He made a knowing look to Emmett who laughed at their silliness. Rose rolled her eyes.
'What were his exact words, Edward?'
''Yes'.' He said simply.
Alice looked like she was going to burst into a fully rehearsed river song and dance.
'They're going to get married!' She said excitedly, hands curled into fists, shaking with excitement.
'He doesn't want to tell her though.'
He was glad that this confused all of his friends at the table and not just him. Adults were confusing.
'I'm not sure. It think it's because they can't be friends if their married. And like I said, girls are gross.'
Bella took one look at him which made his attitude crumple within seconds, his look of understanding switched to uncertainty.
'You really think that's it?' She sounded worried, maybe even a little sad.
'I may have it a little wrong…' he admitted.
'You should ask her to marry you!'
Five of them glared at Alice with such bewilderment they nearly fell out of their seats.
'Well, think about it! If you get married to her, Carlisle will be jealous and he'll want to marry her! It's the perfect plan.' She was getting excited again, standing on the table until she was instructed to get down by a dinner lady.
'Alice that's gross.' Emmett said, looking at her awkwardly. It was gross. You couldn't propose your mum? That would be bizarre.
'Besides, why does he have to do it? Why can't she propose?'
Rosalie was screaming in his face. 'Because it's tradition!'
'And there's no one we know that'll make Momma-bear jealous.' Emmett explained, shrugging.
'Okay new plan.' Bella said, sitting up 'Why don't you pretend Carlisle's dying then she'll tell him she loves him then you can tell her it was an April fool's joke.'
'It's not April…' Jasper muttered.
Bella threw her hands up, deliberately kicking the table leg so that it jumped a little.
'Well you think of something then!'
'I think I've just thought of someone...' Edward said, grinning mischievously, spotting her in the corner of the hall, staring after him just like they had done.
Charlie was sitting at his desk watching the poor guy continue to pour his concerns onto a plate. He looked dead on his feet but when he spoke about her, it seemed to give him such illumination and such effort into his words that he might've been trying to convince an evil dictator and winning.
'I'm sorry, Carlisle. But without a name I can't help.' He kept a straight face as he leant in his chair, not lazily just deep in thought.
'I can't tell her, Charlie. She'd only frighten herself half to death. I can't do that to her.' He was shaking his head, fist curled against his mouth, thinking also.
'Take it this way, we've checked all our records and there is no Esme Platt. Her legal name is her married one…I don't know how to help except keep a look out by your description which is vague in itself.'
He couldn't help it, he thought back to Renee at home. What would he do if she were in trouble like this? He'd be doing the same as Carlisle…except he'd be ruder, he'd demand help where it couldn't be given.
'No names at all?' Charlie pushed.
'I didn't ask!' He muttered miserable with himself.
'Your best bet is to just be honest with her, ask her for the name. It's the only way you can help.'
He was shaking his head, blaming himself more than anything, if he'd just asked?! He couldn't imagine her ever feeling comfortable enough to sit with him if she'd thought he might be back.
'What about if you kept a surveillance on her?' he asked, desperate for anything, he'd bloody build the cameras himself if he had to.
'We're the local police, not some hot shot TV show besides, even if we were rich enough we couldn't do anything about the invisible man.' The words weren't harsh.
He had his eyes closed, as if he were sleeping but really he was cursing absolutely everything he could think of. He wouldn't put her in danger, not even slightly. He didn't even know if it was really him who trashed the classroom, he just had an awful feeling. And like she said, it wasn't often she was called slut.
'Go home, talk to her, come back and we will do everything in our power…' The promise was soft but meaningful. Carlisle sighed.
'Thank you, Charlie.' He stood up reluctantly, pinching his nose like he usually did when he was thinking except now he had a headache too. Charlie nodded.
Esme was sat lazily on the sofa, Carlisle's laptop resting against her. She probably should have asked but then his password was so painfully easy that it might encourage him to think in the future.
She had the website of St Augustine's up and was scanning everything she could. Desperately trying to find some information, anything. What were the rooms like? The dinners? Were there a lot of other children?
She didn't know what she was doing to herself, now that along with her headache, she had some kind of chest ache to accompany it. She lived in a shitty one-bedroom apartment. She physically couldn't afford a five-bedroom house, or even a three! That and moving from a one-person family into a five-person family was daunting. What if they no longer liked her after a few months? How would she afford to look after them on a teacher's salary? How could she keep them safe when she wasn't safe herself?
Carlisle was the only one who would be able to explain the change of lifestyle and perhaps the only one who would recommend it… She picked up the house phone from the side of the sofa and clicked in his number. He had ten more minutes till classes. On the first call, there was no answer, on the second, he called her back.
'Hello?' He sounded breathless, she sounded bored.
'Hi! Are you okay? You sound like you've been for a run?'
'More importantly, are you okay? How's your head? Have you eaten?'
It was a fight over who was more worried for the other.
'I'm fine,' she laughed. 'Bored actually. Can I come back to work yet?'
Despite the change in voice over the phone, she recognised his unmistakable chuckle. 'No, rest up, relax and don't even think about work till tomorrow.'
'How's the kids?' She couldn't help but smile as if she were sat right next to him, staring into his beautiful blue eyes, surrounding by the unmistakable babble of the children's chatter.
'Yeah-yeah. They're fine. They miss you. Anyway, I may have accidently invited a friend over for dinner, I'm really sorry, I wasn't even thinking. Come to think of it, I don't even remember suggesting it.'
She could hear the shrug. 'Sounds like fun! I like meeting your friends.' And there was plenty in the oven to go around. There was a pause.
'Are you sure, you're okay? You sound…well, different.'
He laughed. 'I've been dreaming of bed since I left it this morning. And a few other things but I'm at work so I won't mention those…'
She felt a sweet chill run across her spine.
'Anyway, I've got to go. I'll see you later.'
'Hurry home!' She teased.
'Trust me, I plan to.' He was actually referring again to sleeping but the words still made her shiver.
He held the phone in his hand, feeling guilty and heavy with shame. He couldn't tell her. He wouldn't tell her.
Luckily for him, the afternoon swooned by, maybe because Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were in his last class, keeping things slightly busy and his buzzing brain distracted. But he couldn't stop thinking about Esme. How would she react? How could he protect her?
Her classroom was cleared now, completely clean from any mess except that it looked scarily empty. No artwork, no music, no Esme, there was just nothing. He was looking forward to seeing her at home, sure he was still tired, still weak with lack of sleep, still overly nervous about Tanya's words.
But she put things into perspective.
He found himself on edge when Tanya got in the car after Edward. As the weekend have proved, Edward could have a big mouth when he wanted to…and that was dangerous.
They made strained conversation on his part. Then he could smell it as soon as he parked up, the mouth-watering smell of dinner, he closed his eyes and sighed, his stomach rumbled. He'd been so busy, he'd completely forgotten to eat today. She held her arms out, lifting Edward on her hip as though it were a second nature now and kissed him on the cheek. He was eager to tell her about his day, like he usually was.
He politely walked with Tanya to his porch, ignoring her state of confusion. She clearly hadn't expected to see Esme this evening. Nonetheless, they greeted each other warmly.
'I told you to rest!' He mumbled, frowning at her but the frown was a false one, he was dreaming of dinner, growling for it like some kind of hunter. Tanya watched awkwardly, watching him greet her how you would greet a wife really, though he didn't kiss her.
'I'm hungry!' Edward grinned, smiling at her.
'Well if you wash your face, dinner will be done before you know it!' She promised, setting him down easily. Carlisle bounded up the stairs after him.
Leaving the two women.
'There's a few other bathrooms scattered around, if you wanted to wash up to?' It was an offer not a suggestion.
'I know,' she said frostily. 'I have been here before….'
Esme's smile wasn't the expression she'd been expecting.
He'd noticed with acute recognition that not only did his house look spotless (and smell wonderful) but that also all the bedding had been washed and changed. He ignored it initially, washing his hands and his face in his bathroom sink but then he couldn't stop himself.
He let himself fall face first onto the white sheets, bouncing slightly on the springs. He giggled childishly. He was just so tired. Next thing he knew Esme was tugging at the collar of his blazer, her knees either side of his back. She was wearing her pencil skirt and one of his shirts, the same one from last night perhaps but it looked surprisingly feminine.
'So much for washing up. Come on. Before dinner gets cold.'
He whined, muffled by the sounds of the sheets against his mouth. He let her strip the blazer, pulling it from his arms, easily. Then her dainty hands were resting softly against his neck to undo his tie though it had to be incredible difficult seeing as he was laying on it.
'I could always save some for you later, if you'd rather sleep?'
It was a hard choice, dinner did smell so luxuriously appetising and it would help his head and his stomach but sleep.
'Though it can't be fair on your guest…' she added carefully. This had him groaning, pushing himself from the bed with a whine. She was laughing at him which made him feel warm, he kissed her hair, near where the bump was and made the bold decision to go grab a great plate of food.
Edward was whispering to Tanya and even though she looked like she was fine, her jaw was locked, rigid. She was grinding her teeth.
'Edward tells me you're coming to Carmen's wedding?' She said delicately. The words almost sounded bitter.
'I'm so looking forward to it! They seem like such nice people!' Esme said, dishing up. If Carlisle's eyes could've turned into cartoon hearts, they would of. He burnt his mouth several times because he was too impatient to wait for dinner to cool and to afraid to stare at her longer than necessary.
'Carmen loved her!' Edward grinned, looking seemingly innocent but also not. Carlisle banished the thought. Kids were kids.
'Oh?' The words were tight as if forced.
'Carmen and Eleazer lived with Tanya and her sisters for many years.' Carlisle explained. He was either staring longingly at her or longingly at his food, not that she ever caught him doing it.
'How nice! They're such wonderful people!' Esme smiled, she encouraged Edward to eat his greens first like a mother would do and he didn't question it.
It had been the first time she'd really spoken to Edward and Tanya was feeling overwhelmed with a sense of jealousy. She'd known Carlisle for so many years, more than this new girl and in all that time, she'd been closer to him than any girl almost and all of a sudden, Esme, Esme is staying in his home. They weren't even on the same department!
Even Edward idolised her.
'Eleazer had the pleasure of introducing himself of Sunday. Did they stop by yours as well?'
'No…' she said carefully, eating only a small bit of her food, not because it wasn't good, it was beautiful, she just didn't want little-miss perfect to feel so perfect…
'Oh…' Carlisle said surprised, he was enjoying his food too much to pay attention.
'They were pretty drunk though.' Esme intervened, rescuing what didn't need rescuing.
'Well I'll see them Friday. Bridesmaid duty and all that…'
Esme smiled, too lovingly. She was genuinely being nice. It sucked. Tanya wanted to hate her.
'Dad's the best man!' Edward added excitedly, grinning widely.
'I should've known! I'm glad to hear it, Carlisle. You'll make a fantastic best man!'
'I agree.' Esme said grinning. The look he gave her was so sweet, it completely blew Tanya's comment out the water. She smiled sweetly though her head felt like lava. She didn't understand, she'd been around for years, absolute years! Esme had only moved to Forks a few months ago.
'Dad can't dance though so you'll have to teach him, Esme!' Edward shot a smiling smile to Tanya, a spiteful look, the little brat then turned back to her-who-never-stopped-laughing.
'I'll have you know I can dance just fine, thank you Edward!' He'd finished his dinner and was now leaning on his elbows drinking from a tall glass.
'I think Saturday proved otherwise….' This was deliberate, keep Tanya outside of the private joke and she would be furious. She was. Alice would be so proud of him.
'Saturday proved nothing!' Esme corrected, smiling at Carlisle, her necklace dangling over her shirt, reflecting the lights.
'Thank you, Esme. See? If she says I can dance, I can dance. Tanya can also vouch for that!'
She smiled but didn't say anything. While they all still lived together, they'd thrown a party that had got too wild and Carlisle had been so drunk that after partying too hard, they'd found him passed out on the floor. She was grateful for that, the little return of attention to her. It meant that he was including her and excluding Esme. Their own private memoires.
'What happened?' Esme asked eagerly, smiling and like the guy he was he blurted it all out. So much for private memories.
'Regret. Regret happened!' He nudged Tanya with his shoulder. Affectionately maybe? Affectionate for Carlisle. He wasn't one of those sorts of people who went around touching people. He always kept his hands to himself. The ruffle of Edward's hair made her think otherwise.
They finished dinner and dessert happily and while Esme and Carlisle cleared up, Tanya followed Edward into the living room, thinking.
'My friends reckon they're in love.' He played, looking at them with adoration. He was loading the dishwasher making her blush with roars of laughter while pretending to dance, close to her.
'You can't love someone after a week, Edward.' She said quickly, watching them from the corner of her eyes. That sort of crap was fairy-tale stuff. No one fell in love after a week.
'That's not what they say. They reckon he's in love with her, you can see it in the way he's making her laugh…' He sighed, deliberately.
'He makes everyone laugh. That's just him. He's being polite…' It was a tough sentence and mainly not true, she knew that much.
She saw him out the corner of her eye go running upstairs for something, Esme was still putting away dishes, giggling.
'I'll be right back...' Tanya said to Edward. He wouldn't not be getting away without a fight.
Carlisle was grabbing a box from his wardrobe, laughing still, some sort of trivial pursuit game. He turned and saw Tanya in the doorway then offered an unusual grin…Unusual because he was rarely the over bearing smiler type. He showed her the front.
'Huh?! The memories we've had playing this game!' He was excited.
'I remember them.' She purred, leaning against the doorway. He wasn't paying any attention, he was thinking back to the arguments that had descended over that game. She was trying to make her legs look longer. She was taller than Esme, thinner too, closer to Carlisle's height. He still looked tired but maybe a funny side of tired, like he was so sleep deprived that he'd gone genuinely nuts.
'Shame Carmen and Eleazer aren't here to share the fun. Oh well, they will be Friday.'
'Carlisle?'
'Hmm?'
It took him a few seconds to look up, he was checking the pieces in the box. They were all there. She could've told him that. When he did finally look at her he seemed confused. Like he'd forgotten why she was there at all or furthermore, why she was hugging his door frame.
'Come here…'
'Why?' He said slowly, laughing but he was already walking towards her, smiling naively. She placed her hands on the tops of his shoulders, ignoring the raise of eyebrow.
'You're a sweet man, Carlisle.'
'I've been told that before…' he said teasingly, laughing when he thought of the amount of times Esme had come to say it the last few nights. He was just so narrow-minded he didn't see her intentions
She pushed him against the wall so that the box slipped from his hands and then she 'fell' onto him, mouth to his confused one. He had his hands on her waist, trying to push her away, trying to work out what the heck was going on.
'So I've got the-' the excitement in the voice from across the landing turned to a breakable breath. 'Oh,'
She turned immediately on the stairs, grabbing her bag with one hand and walking, not storming, just walking as quickly as she could away from him.
'Shit!' He spat, pushing Tanya away rather forcefully then he went racing after her.
Edward had ran outside, but she was already at the end of the porch crying. That wasn't meant to happen! It wasn't meant to be that way! She was meant to be telling Carlisle she loved him?! What had happened?
'Where are you going?!' He cried, leaning over the fence.
She stopped, halted by his screams , she took a breath, holding the tears. 'Go back inside, Edward.' The voice was broken.
'No! You've gotta come back! Please!' He ran to the cars on the driveway, he wasn't allowed to go any further. She had her hand up to stop him, still crying.
'Go inside.' She repeated, her heart crushed in her stomach, splintering painfully.
'No! You've got to come back inside! You haven't told him you loved him!' He was crying too now, standing still watching her with waterfall like eyes; sharp green surrounded by water. She wiped her cheeks, still breathing unevenly like she was going to crumble any second. Carlisle was outside the door now, yelling after her which is when she continued to walk. Solemn but rather fast at the same time.
'Please! Please come back!' Edward screamed at her back, her head was hung low. She carried on walking, he took a gurgled breath.
'Momma!'
She looked like she was going to stop for the moment but didn't. He could hear her crying and matched.
'Stay here.' Carlisle growled to Edward, running after her, calling her name but she didn't react.
'Stay on the phone with Eleazer till I come back. Do not leave this house!' He said quickly than ran down the country road. He could've take the car but he couldn't see that helping at the moment.
She continued to walk despite the fact it was cold out and that her house was miles away. It wasn't even safe for her to go back.
'Wait!' He pleaded, dragging the air through his lungs painfully.
To his shock she did. In fact she stopped and turned to look at him, looking a completely mess, tears flowing from top to bottom drowning her out almost. She let him approach her before speaking.
'What do you think of me?!' She said bitterly. He wasn't sure if it was rhetorical or not, tears continued to stream down her face.
'What do you mean?!' He couldn't think of what else to say, he himself was trying not to break.
'I took my fucking clothes of in front of you, Carlisle. I've never done that for anyone, not willingly,'
The word was a dagger.
'You completely led me on, made me believe it was what you wanted and then-. That!' she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge what had just happened. She was still crying.
'I didn't ask you to take your clothes off- I don't even know why you did it?!' he defended, awkwardly, he didn't really no why they were on this subject, he was trying to persuade her to come in doors but his mouth were spitting out random words in desperation. The wrong random words.
'No, but I did it for you. I thought you'd be attracted to me after all the things you were saying this week.'
He grabbed the top of her shoulders and she didn't resist, just continued to cry.
'You think I could only be attracted to you by seeing you naked?!' He was surprised, really surprised but he sounded angry. He did feel a little frustrated too but not for those reasons. 'Esme, I froze! I didn't know what to do! I didn't know how you wanted me to react but to suggest that I was only after sex this whole week is the most brutal and damn-right insane thing I've ever heard!'
She hit him in the chest, it didn't hurt, not really because the punch was so weak it just felt she could've been caressing him.
'Did your friends put you up this?! Is that what it was all long?! Was it some sort of bet to see how gullible I would be in believing you were a virgin!'
He threw his hands in the air, 'but I am a virgin!' It wasn't the sort of thing you yelled out loud at 7'oclock at night but needs must.
'Is that what you tell all of us?! Is that why you kissed her?! What was it? I'm too fucked for you, I bet!'
The words had double meaning both cruel and felt like a hammer to his gut, he'd lost the effort to shout.
'How could you ever think that?!' He challenged.
'How could you lead me on?!' She'd stepped away from him now, breathing loudly, crying rivers of tears, one hand tight against her face to stop her screaming out.
'I didn't kiss her! She kissed me. She came on to me!' It was a shit excuse and one of the few excuses in his life. When thought wrongly of him, he usually did little to protect his pride. He was desperate now.
'Of course.' She said bitterly, 'Just took the opportunity right?! Your kind of girl.' She went to storm off but he grabbed her wrist, delicately, making her choke out.
'You're my girl,' he whispered, fighting back the emotion. It was so thick in his throat, it felt like he couldn't breathe.
'I believed you, Carlisle!' She was trying to stop herself now which only made things worse, she was almost suffocating on tears. 'I fell in love with you…'
He fell to his knees that little bit closer to her, chin resting against his chest trying to halt his own tears all the while looking at her feet. Watching her cry, knowing that he caused it was one of the most painful things to watch. Hearing that she'd loved him was acid onto bare flesh.
'I am in love with you.' He persisted looking up with watered blue eyes. She flinched, looked like she was going to approach him but didn't. Instead she covered her mouth, gave one more cry of tears before calming her breathing and running off. He stayed where he sat for a good 15 minutes, head in his hands, trying to understand what to do.
When he finally got home, empty and exhausted, he'd found Edward sitting on the sofa. His face was pink where he'd been crying and he was on Skype to Carmen and Eleazer. He didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment so when he offered the laptop. He gave a short shake off his head. Edward hung up, Carlisle closed the laptop.
She'd bookmarked the website of the foster home and had looked at all the children's profiles. It was when he'd looked at the other history that he finally closed the lid and tucked Edward into bed. Tanya was long gone. Had called a cab apparently. Carlisle didn't say anything, he was silent when he tucked Edward in and then made the dreaded walk to his room.
He was devastated for two reasons. One: she'd been so loving and sweet by doing the house work she'd erased all proof of her ever being there. Two: He'd seen the websites she'd searched up; When is too soon to move in with someone? How do you know if they love you? Best ways to tell someone you love them?
He felt empty.
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