Chapter Ten

So, emails will now be Bold Italics. For chats, Porcelain will be underlined, LadyLochness will be italics underlined, PermanentVisitor will be bold, The Infuriator will be bold underlined.

Clark was lying on his bed. He had tried to work on homework, but he was still reeling from what Chloe had told him. He had not been able to believe it at first, but Chloe had presented him with enough proof. He was a little miffed at her for invading his privacy, but he had recently discovered what it was like to not have Chloe in his life, and he did not think getting angry about what she did was worth the risk of losing her again.

Chloe had told him all he and Lana had said to her that had brought her to that conclusion, and pointed out all the similarities in the emails until Clark believed her.

He was still trying to wrap his mind around it when he heard a sound on his computer. She was online! He did not know what to do. Should he tell her? How would he explain knowing? Would it change anything if she knew it was just Clark Kent on the other end of the computer? He took a deep breath, and nervously approached the computer. He was grateful she could not see him through the computer; he did not want her to know how much he was shaking.

Hey.

She started with.

Hey.

He responded, still terrified.

I wanted to tell you something. I, um, broke up with my boyfriend.

Clark gulped.

Okay. So, why tell me?

I guess I was hoping you might want to know.

What do you mean?

Never mind.

There was a pause.

I just thought that maybe … maybe you felt something for me. We've been talking for so long, and I think maybe that there might be something between us. So, I broke up with him.

There was another pause

Could you please say something?

I just … I don't know what to say. I've been trying to think of the right thing, but I just don't know what that is.

Do you think there is something between us?

There was a long pause.

I don't know that it matters.

What do you mean?

It's just, well, we don't actually know each other.

Maybe not in the flesh, but you know more about me than pretty much anybody.

Maybe the flesh thing is important.

Are you saying you want to meet?

No!

I mean, I don't think so. Not yet. I don't think it's the right time.

All right. Then what are you saying?

I don't know.

And that was it, for now. The two of them logged off, both feeling incredibly confused. Clark knew it was Lana on the other end, but that just made everything all the more complicated. Lana liked him, but she did not like him, and he liked both of them, but neither of them knew who he was. Did he just like her because he now knew she was Lana, or had he already started to like her?

Lana sat back, also incredibly confused. Why wouldn't he give her a straight answer? She knew that sometimes you fall for people who don't feel the same, and she could learn to live with it if that was the case, but she needed to know. Had he always talked in so many circles? She looked back through all their old emails. For some reason, this one was different. He seemed uncomfortable. It was like all the trust they had built over the course of time had just disappeared. Lana sighed as she headed to bed. She found herself wanting to call Clark and talk it over with him, but she knew she could not do that, not now. But why not? She thought. They had established that the kiss had meant nothing. Still, Lana felt that talking to Clark about this would be cruel, and painful for some reason. They were both still reeling from the kiss. It had been quite a kiss. Lana tried to think about something else. She did not want to think about that kiss, about the feel of Clark's lips on hers. As she closed her eyes, she felt his lips on hers, she smelt his cologne, felt his heart racing as he kissed her. She imagined the feel of running her hands through his soft, dark hair. She opened her eyes and shook her head. This was not right. Why did she keep thinking about it? The truth of the matter was, when it came to romance and love, she was just plain screwed up.

She sighed and headed downstairs for a drink. She got a cup, filled it with water, and sat there sipping and not thinking about Clark Kent.

The next day, Clark did not really know how to act. He guessed that he was going to feel that way for a while. He decided to go talk to Chloe, seeing as how she was the only one who knew what was going on and thus the only one he could trust for advice. He had to admit, she usually gave pretty good advice. However, he wondered if even Chloe could come up with something for this one.

"Just act like you did before." Chloe said as she walked over to the filing cabinet. It seemed like she was always going to the filing cabinet these days. She was anxious to work on a story that did required a little less hardcopy, but her hands were tied by the principle.

"I don't know if I can do that now. I mean, knowing that they are the same person … it changes things." Chloe waited for him to continue, "I just … Lana likes my alias, but only wants to be friends with me, and I like both her and her alias, but I know that they are the same person. She doesn't."

Chloe shrugged, "So tell her."

"I can't … look, she doesn't like me, she likes my cyber-self."

"Well, the only difference between him and you is the flesh thing, right?"

"No, I mean, yes, technically, but, there's more. When I didn't know who was on the other end, I was more, more …"

"Open?" Chloe finished for him. Clark nodded, "So try that. Show Lana the side of you that she fell for online."

"It's not that simple. Anonymity makes it a lot easier. I don't know if I can be that open with her in the flesh, or even online, now that I know who she is."

"Look. I know the whole, spilling your guts thing is scary, because somebody might judge what's inside, but the insides you showed her seemed to be what made her like you." Chloe paused, and Clark looked at her, "Okay, disturbing unintentional image. Sorry." Clark nodded and smiled, "All I'm saying is if all the things about yourself that you fear people will judge are the things that made her like you, it shouldn't be that scary."

"It shouldn't, but it still is." Clark took a deep breath, and Chloe waited, "Look, if I tell her that it's really me, I run the risk of her not liking me anymore because she knows who I am now."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard."

"Clark Kent isn't the guy she fell for."

"Maybe that's because she doesn't really know him. Look, Clark, I am going to be honest with you about something. I never really got why you were so into Lana. I mean, she's cute, and a cheerleader, but really, all you ever had was a crush on a girl you never talked to and didn't really know. Honestly, I never thought that there was anything … real there. Until recently, you two never even talked. You have carried a torch for her for so long, finding out this girl you fell for online can only make your life less complicated, but from Lana's perspective, you are still a friend she only made a couple weeks back. She got to know you online Clark; that is why she fell for you. She still does not really know Clark Kent, just … give her time."

Clark sighed. She was right.

"But if I don't tell her, and she finds out I knew, and I kept it a secret-"

"She'll understand. She's got to be pretty confused right now, breaking up with Whitney, falling for a mystery guy online, being kissed by her new male friend, it's a lot to deal with. Just, give her time."

"You keep saying that."

"It's the best advice I can give."

Clark smiled, "So, how are things going with that guy you met."

Chloe smiled when Clark brought up The Infuriator. "Good, I think. I mean, he's funny, and sweet, and we have a lot in common. He's a good listener, and he's patient. I like him. I can definitely see us as friends. Maybe more, but, in order to know that, I'd have to know if …"

"If…" Clark urged.

Chloe smiled, "Well, it's just that there's only so much you can get from online. In the end, you need to know if you … find each other attractive.'" Chloe said awkwardly.

"The flesh thing."

"Pretty much. I mean, I don't know. He's great on the computer, but in real life, I don't know."

"So find out." Clark said. Chloe smiled.

"Why don't we go back to dissecting your love life?" Chloe said.

"I'd think you'd be sick of that by now." Clark said, shooting her his classic Clark Kent smile.

After Clark left, Chloe logged into chat. The Infuriator was not online, so she left him a message.

Hey. It's me. I think we should meet.

~LadyLochness

Lana saw that her friend was online. Her face lit up. After their last conversation, she was not sure if she was ever going to hear from him again.

Hey.

Hi.

I didn't know if I'd see you here for a while.

Yeah?

Well, we left things kind of weird.

Ah.

Really digging the one syllables right now, aren't you?

Sorry.

Still doing it.

I know. Sorry.

Well, I guess that's progress.

Are you kidding, that was four whole syllables. That's more than progress.

Funny.

I don't want things to be weird between us.

Me neither.

I need to tell you something.

Okay.

Well, the truth is, I do have feelings for you, I actually really like you, but it's not the right time for us to do anything about it.

Why is that?

Things are … complicated, right now.

What things?

He was really being very vague. Lana hated vague. Was there not enough stuff out there to confuse people without adding vagueness?

Well, like I said, we don't really know each other, and we have aspects of our lives that complicate it.

Is this about that girl you like?

No. Well, sort of. It's hard to explain.

I think I get the picture.

I doubt that, I haven't given you enough of the puzzle pieces.

Isn't that a mixed metaphor?

I guess. Look, I want us to go on being friends, and get to know each other more, and when the time is right, we'll meet.

What else do we have to know?

How about some real details. For example, I live in Kansas.

Me too.

See, we don't know everything about each other.

I just think we should keep being friends for now … see what happens.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Great. So…

So, how's the writing going?

I am incredibly pathetic and have no clue how you talked me into this.

Lana laughed at that. The two of them kept "talking" until the wee hours of the night, and when Lana went to sleep, she felt strangely satisfied.