Okay fair warning, I had a good bit of agression to release, and while I in no way condone domestic violence at all, well sometimes you just have to smack a bitch.

Seriously though, this chapter is pretty much the worst idea I ever had, but it wrote itself, I held her back as far as I could. It might be hard to read and lord knows I don't want my version of these people to be unlikeable.

Everyones got their limits.

BioWare Owns, and will probably take them away and send me to my room for this.

Rated M: Extreme violence, Adult themes and Concepts, Language

I'm just a panda bear, in sexy little underwear, and I'll dance for youuu...if you give me a review.

Enjoy :)

Chapter 11: Hard Limits Of The Lucid Dreamer

"I'm always swimming

against the flow of the tide.

Kissing the life into something

thats already died."

"We need to talk, now." Hawke barked sharply as she entered the cabin she'd shared with her husband for two weeks. Two weeks of stress, fear, and lost tempers. Hawke's patience with Anders had finally run out, and now she would get answers if she had to shock his fingers off one by one. She considered doing it anyway. "On you're feet Mage." Hawke ran a current over her skin, not bothering to restrain the magic singing in her blood. Electricity arc'd over her body like little lightning strikes. It crackled in the air, promising pain and misery.

Anders jumped as his furious wife kicked in the door, barking orders at him. The way her full lips curled distainfully around the word Mage made his stomach drop, and his adrenaline spike. He'd always feared the words she'd spoken, yet he'd never imagined when he'd heard them it would be his wife, and mother of his unborn child that would be kicking down his door. Yet here she was, talking down to him like, like a Templar, with disgust in her eyes. She knew more than anyone about his past, all the terrible things he saw, and did, and was done to him. He'd bared his blackened, tortured soul to her and now she was as good as rubbing his face in it. He'd put up with a lot for the sake of loving this woman, blood, sweat, tears. He imagined for a moment how his face must look as she stormed in, glowing like some demon crawling straight out of the void itself to claim him. Fear rippled up his spine in bursts, his own temper struggling to flair, to defend himself.

"Have you lost your mind!" He ground out through his teeth as he crossed the room with a few easy strides to tower over her. He'd fully intended to grab her by the arm and demand an explanation, if he could have gotten that far. As he reached toward her, uncaring of her mana spiking the air with fury she screamed high and clear.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

A powerful shockwave caught Anders full in the chest, sending him flying backwards. It crossed his mind before he painfully hit the back of the cabin with a crash and a yelp that she meant to punish him for what he'd done to Aidan. Part of him could accept that, given that he didn't think much of himself either for the deed. He'd gone too far, a few miles too far and he knew he'd have to answer for it sooner or later. All the air in his body rushed past his lips as he felt one of his lungs collapse with a sickening pop. It never occured to him she didn't know what he'd done, or didn't care either way.

Her anger flowed and covered her, pushing deeper into her body until she was sure it the made up the cushioning between her bones. It consumed her, tainted her blood, and stoked the magic within her to incredible heights. She pushed the powerful energy to pulse outward with the rythem of her racing heart. It would keep any and everyone from approaching her. She couldn't remember why she was angry. She couldn't bring herself to care. White hot rage bombarded her nerves and mind until the the bitterness and resentment she felt became a nearly tangible blackness that coated her insides and filled her soul with contempt and venemous hate.

The instinct to fight, and survive was a powerful compulsion for Anders, and he fought it down with everything in him. Time seemed to be slowing to an agonizing crawl. His next breath hit his undamaged lung like a fistful of flames being punched down his throat, due in part to his injury, and the tempest of Hawke's mana raging uncotrolled, pulling his own magic to come clawing to the surface without his consent. Very slowly, at least in his perception of things Anders rose to his unsteady feet. Muscles twitching and bones grinding in protest the troubled mage finally, really looked at his wife. Her wild eyes nearly rooted him in place. Darkness swirled around her like an imploding star. She pulled mana from thin air, or she'd torn the veil and was feeding her power directly from the fade.

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Isabela had take her fair share of hard hits in her life. She'd been all over Thedas and spent time in the company of just about every kind of being the world had to offer and some it was scarcely aware of. She herself had never actually been able to feel a mages power, and she was willing to bet Hawke at that very moment was projecting hers much further than ever the most powerful blood mages had any right to expect. When her skin had touched Hawke's the pain was instant and intense, shooting into the bones of her hand and wrist deep enough to burn the marrow.

Years of practice and battles now stood between the pirate and absolute agony.

If she'd had the luxury of time to stop what she'd started she might have crumpled to the floor and let the pain have her. If she'd known she was about to give the wrong advice to her friend, if she had known how close Hawke was to snapping, if she'd really taken in everything Hawke had been telling her. The shock of new and frightenly potent magical abilities, A pregnancy that was never suppose to be, her husband shutting her out and being on the run again...if if if...So many ifs.

Isabela felt a very rare emotion for her. Regret.

"Isabela, *oletko kunnossa?" Fenris was asking her as she cradled her wrist with her good hand, his brands flairing angrily. She struggled for a moment to recall her knowledge of Tevinter.

"Huh? Oh...yeah I'll be fine." She replied unconvincingly as she muscled past him to catch up to Hawke.

If he was going to argue, he didn't have a chance. He stalked after her, halfway listening to her ordering her men to keep working. She was obviously injured and yet still an imposing and strong leader to her crew. Under different circumstances his admiration of her would have made him smile. As it stood now, it would be a miracle if he didn't wring Hawke's neck for her carelessness. That of course, was before he saw her, Stalking into the room with all the grace of a seasoned predator, and out of control.

Several things came to him at once. Several very bad things. Anders, had never known Hawke when she more conservative about mages. To see her now, using more than one element at a time, more than one spell, made the Elf's stomach flip. Hawke was what the Tenvinter's called a "Lucid Dreamer". She had indeed torn the veil, and was syphoning the power of the spirits and demons within without their consent, Blood Magic had nothing on that. The Magisters had kept the existence of such rare creatures very close to the chest, so effectively in fact that the Chantry was totally ignorant.

Fenris could hear her heart struggling to keep its pace. He respected Hawke, but he hated Anders, always had. If the man, abomination had bothered to payed attention he would have known she was even more diffrernt now than ever. He trained her, not well enough it seems. Now this woman who he loved, in his own way like family had endangered everything Fenris had come to cherish, and no matter how he felt, if Anders could not stop her, he would.

Isabela didn't hesitate as she moved, Fenris at her side, to put herself between Hawke and Anders. Anders had begun to glow, a deep growl rumbling in his chest as he regarded his wife with cruel eyes. The couple stood back to back, pressed together with their hands raised. Isabela was whispering to Hawke, a prayer for her to come back. to stop.

"Kitten please, you love Anders..." She pleaded, giving Hawke pause. The Battle Mage eyed her friend with irritation. Isabela figured it was now or never. "Please honey, I know its hard but try to think. You don't want to hurt anyone, and we don't want to hurt you. Think of you're baby. You could be hurting it, please Hawke."

Fenris was irate, glowing, and his brands were starting to burn his skin as they resonated with Hawke's magic. "She's going to die if she doesn't stop soon." He snarled at Anders, who looked incredulous.

"How the fuck would you know?" Anders barked. "Get out and let me handle my wife."

Neither Fenris nor Isabela particularly liked the way he said "Handle" and neither were willing to let them destroy the ship with so many crewmen on it, in the middle of the sodding ocean.

"I think you've done enough!" Fenris yelled back, shivering in anger. Damn him! Damn that stupid mage fuck! He'd fucked Hawke up and it was growing more and more likely and they would have to clean up the Abominations mess. The probability of having to kill Hawke was bad enough, and how Isabela would suffer the most as her best friend but what Fenris hated most in that scenario was killing the child. Even if it was Anders, it was half Hawke too. He hoped, however perversely that if it came down to it, they both died. He hated the thought of falling out of his former leader's grace by being responsible for the death of her baby. If it wasn't dead already. The thought was sobering, and infuriating.

The power Hawke was emitting ebbed only slighty. Apparently she'd come around enough to speak, though her voice sent chills through through the hearts of her compaions.

"You know nothing of magic." She rasped, droplets of blood beginning to slowly trickle from her lips.

All heads turned to her then, identical horror stretched over their paleing faces.

"**Siirra!" Fenris roared, grabbing Isabela's arm to swing her around behind him at the same time as Anders spat "Shit!"

Fenris intented in the next second to charge Hawke, but Anders was faster, surging forward with more speed than a mage should possess. He grabbed Hawke just below her shoulders, screaming loudly as she forced her mana into his body. His veins felt like they were spiked with needles and fire.

Fenris sheilded Isabela, who seemed unaware that she was emitting a high pitched whine as tears flowed recklessly down her face. She was shaking her head, positive she was about to watch her friends die. "Do something!" She cried to no one specifically.

Anders ground his teeth together, willing his body to accept her intrusion. All his anger disloved into fear. He shifted his grip on his wife, holding her face in his hands, he desperately shook her.

"Sweetheart please..." He begged, his eyes burning with tears. "I went too far I know, baby I'm so sorry."

Hawke snarled at him, air hissing up out of her lungs. Anders braced himself, threading his fingers through her hair to hold her tightly before him as she raised her arms and with brutal force slammed both her elbows into him, breaking both sides of his collarbone.

White hot pain lanced through his body, more pain than he'd ever physically felt in his life. But her power was running out, he could feel it. He just had to keep her from killing anyone long enough, and hope for the best.

Even Fenris flinched back at Anders scream of pain. Still he held on. Something faintly resembling respect stirred in the Elf, as he watched Anders determindly trying to save his wife and child.

"Maker, she's killing him!" Isabela yelped, struggling to go help, but Fenris had an iron grip around her waist.

"NO!" Anders bellowed, Shaking her. "YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LEAVING ME LIKE THIS JENIVICIA!" His heart constricted painfully, his breath sawing in his good lung. "Don't go where I can't follow." he was pleading with her. "Come home-" He started as she reached to choke him. Her lips curling into a terrifying grimmace. His eyes widened in terror, he wasn't going to make it. "Fen-ris" he tried, he hated that smug bastard but he had no other options. Within seconds Fenris was grabbing Hawke's wrist, spitting an impressive string of curses in Tevinter as the inevitable pain rocked through him. The Elven warrior visably shuddered against the sensation, but showed no other sign of distress. Anders didn't have time to be impressed. It was now or never. Anders offered a prayer to the maker, tears sliding down his cheeks. Please...I love her too much... Anders crushed his lips to hers, ignoring the pain as she bit a chunk out of his lip and quickly measured his strengh as he slapped her as hard as he dared.

Hawke was burning alive, and drowning in flames. The voices, and the lights. Maker it was too much. It swirled around her violently. Some voices whispered insidiously, others called to her, searching. She wanted to go home, but she couldn't find her voice to call back. Hope was a cruel bitch, clawing at her subconcious, pressing itself close like a lover, just to pull away when she reached for it. Fucking tease. Sorrow raked against her soul, leaving deep fissures that seemed to widen everytime she tried to scream. A voice pierced the pain and fear...his voice. He thought he was losing her. No baby...I'll never leave you... She wanted to say. She wanted to sooth him. He sounded so frightened.

Everything Fenris knew about magic was suddenly equivalent to just a drop in the bucket. He looked back at Isabela, a ghost of the pain the contact has caused lingered in his muscles.

Hawke had collapsed against Anders, her energy raging. Her body shook wildly. She thrashed, and screamed like a wolf keeining at the moon. She had to release the built up mana. It stuck in her chest, making her heart hammer into her ribs with painful clarity. The pressure climbed and climbed until her body could no longer hold together. With a terrible surge her screams crescendo'd so loudly Anders thought she'd busted his eardrums. Hawke could feel all too well as her breastbone snapped like a twig, the mana exploding and shattering her ribs.

"HER HEART!" Anders heard Fenris yelling as Hawke's voice abruptly cut off with a gurgle. Bloody tears were rolling down her cheeks as the couple collapsed onto the floor.

"Jen-Jeni..." Anders was shaking her, as he cradled her body in his lap. "Jenivicia please...no...please don't.."

Fenris held Isabela, who shook uncontrollably. "My fault." She was saying under her breath. Fenris squeezed her tighter in disagreement, his wide eyes rivited on the scene. Please, don't let her die. He prayed over and over, the only sound in the room was Anders sobbing over Hawke. His hysterics making Fenris's heart clench.

Anders viciously wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, He called his magic, growling in frustraition at how slowly it came. He pushed the tendrils of his healing spell like fingers under her skin to find the injuries and knit the bones together. Her heart had nearly exploded and was barely beating, he took care of that first, then her breastbone. Her chest heaved upward with the bones as they crunched back into their proper place. Her ribs were trickier. Anders swallowed a knot in his throat as he allowed his magic to reach into her womb, unsure of what, if anything he would find, and there lain inside her was a child who's own heart was thrumming like a hummingbirds wings, distressed but healthy. The mage almost cried out in elation. "She's going to make it." He said finally, exausted, and injured badly himself. "And the baby is okay."

The room let out a collectively held breath. Relief the dominant emotion. Isabela, shivering head to toe took came to sit next to Anders, placing her uninjured hand on his shoulder. "You did it." She said, smiling hugely, happy tears springing from her eyes.

Fenris knelt on Anders other side, brows knit together in caution. "We should move her to the bed." He suggested gently, happy but unwilling to touch the mage. Anders nodded mutely, moving to do exactly that. Isabela shot Fenris a worried glance.

"Let me." The tevinter elf said, reaching for Hawke. Anders caught his wrist lightening fast, his lips curling.

The two men eyed each other intensely, and though Fenris knew the mage was misunderstanding his intent, he felt his pride rise to the occasion regardless, and he really didn't want to be touched.

"Release me, Mage, or lose the hand." Fenris threatened softly in his deadly baritone.

"Touch her and you'll lose a great deal more, Elf." Anders promised, his voice mirroring Fenris's as he let go.

"For fuck's sake, I'll move her." Isabela hissed, exasperated.

"Isa, You don't have to do that. I'll take care of it." Anders said more gently, pleased at the way Fenris scowled at him.

"Then grow up, both of you." She admonished harshly.

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Anders had healed most of his wounds and Isabela's wrist, and though it hurt his pride to do it, he'd healed Fenris too.

He pulled a chair to sit by the bed, watching his Wife sleep. Isabela had explained hours before what they'd talked about before Hawke snapped. To Anders dismay, Fenris had also sat in on the conversation, listening with open curiosity. Anders irritation turned to abashed gratitude as the Elf launched into his knowledge about Lucid Dreaming.

He stroked her hair gently for a long time, whispering his love to her, and to his child. He begged their forgivness for his actions, and hoped beyond hope that when Hawke finally came around, she would still want him. A sob caught in his throat, which hurt more than it should have in his lungs. His stubborness had almost cost him everything he'd ever loved, and he love them fiercely. He'd pushed to breaking. The misery was unstoppable and stuck in his throat. Hope thrashed wildly in his chest.

"I thought you would be disgusted with me because I went to far again, and I don't want to live without you. Either of you." He sobbed into her hair as he leaned over her, comforted by her warmth.

He laid his head on her chest, cherishing the sound of her heart, beating out the rythem of life. She was going to make it. His selfish hopes aside, thats what mattered. Even if she abjured him, it would be enough to know his wife and child were alive, and happy. "I'll love you forever, Jenivicia." He whispered against her heart.

"Only forever?" Her voice lilted, but she'd spoken.

Anders jumped, taking in her face. She was smiling weakly, tears swimming in her eyes. He didn't try to hold back the sob this time. He half laughed, half cried hysterically. A radiant smile lit his features like he'd swallowed the sun. Anders pulled Hawke into his arms, kissing and nuzzling every inch of skin he could get to.

"Its a start." He almost cheered.

A/N: Okay so I guess ya'll are the lucky ones, two chapers a few days apart? Be still your heart, right? ...Right? I hope you all love it, because I think I broke my thumb. Anyhow, I felt like I needed to get this out. Pretty dark stuff I know but it needed to happen I think. Thanks for reading, I love you guys. Especially Diply, who helped me when I got stuck and kept the flow of ideas heading in the right direction. Also, I used Finnish, as in the native language of Finland for Tevinter, sorry if I fucked it up to anyone who speaks it, blame that shit on Google Translate.

* "Isabela, Are you alright?"

** "Move!"