Apologies
I'm back, and I'm so so sorry.
But… I have an explanation? An excuse? Hear me out?
Things went to shit basically, the last few months. A friend of mine told me they were trying to commit suicide, and I spent a long time trying to talk them out of it, only to find they weren't really. Not at all. It got me really upset, because the stress and sadness they rubbed onto me, affected my day to day life. I wasn't sleeping, I was constantly worrying, trying my absolute hardest to try my hardest, to make them see their worth, when really, I think they knew all along.
On top of this, ive been having prelims at school. For those who don't know, I live in Scotland, in my final year of high school, and we have exams around Christmas time and again before summer.
I got a job, started working lots of hours, never really getting a minute to myself. The lines got busy around Christmas, and the hours got longer.
Amongst some of the crazy in my life, a girl who my best friends were friends with years ago started to do insane shit. She slashed my best friends tires, spray painted another's name around town, called them threatening them, threatening me, hacking into their social media accounts. Just loads of crazy stuff, so been dealing with that.
And lastly, (that I can think about right now), I forgave someone who hurt me. And we've been working things out. It was never romantic, thank God, but it doesn't mean it didn't leave an aching in my chest.
Things are hard, but that's life, and we move through each others lives at a slow, painful pace, but I suppose I'm still trying to catch up. And that's okay, ive learned to embrace the thought that everything happens for a reason, because everything that's happened has made me stronger, wiser. And maybe I'll never forgive that friend, the one who I thought was going through the worst thing I could possibly fathom, but I do find myself hoping that they had a good Christmas, and whatever drove them to me for help has vanished, for both our sakes. Feelings are weird.
But, in all of this, I've never forgotten you. Your continuous support is why I am writing this message today, and continuing to tell Bellarke's story. Whether you follow this story religiously, or have clicked on it by accident, I want to thank you. You're the reason I'm back now!
I cant promise to update every week , but the next chapter will be uploaded within the next day or so. And the rest will come as often as I can. I know how frustrating it is when you find a decent fic and the author cant be arsed writing any more. I hope you all know that wasn't the case here.
And because of this, I give you my real tumblr account, not the one I created for this fic. My ask is always open. I am here for any of those battling an inner demon, or a simple fangirling sesh.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and a good new year when it comes.
Much love and many apologies,
Whatswrongwithalittlechoas
blink-me-at-six
(blink-182 & you me at six)