"Dudes, you have to try this Jello."
"They actually serve Jello in hospital cafeterias? I thought that only happened in movies."
"It has whipped cream on top, it's amazing."
"Do you even know what they make Jello out of?"
"Shut up. Both of you just shut up. I'm enjoying this and you can't stop me."
Silence.
"The look on your face is making me want to go get some."
"Go. You have to. Don't be all depressed like Kurt. Blaine would want us to eat delicious Jello while he was passed out or whatever."
"I'm not depressed, and he's not passed out."
"I'm getting some Jello. Do they have blue?" Heels clicked out of the room.
"What? I mean, I'm depressed, but it's not like it was before. He'll be fine."
Silence.
"Quit looking at me like that. You have whipped cream on your chin."
"That can't be true, I don't even eat with my chin."
A sigh. Without previously realizing someone was holding his hand, Blaine felt them suddenly let go.
"I'm going to talk to the doctor again."
He wanted to tell Kurt to stop, to come back, but he couldn't. He couldn't even open his eyes. So he laid there, unmoving, and listened to the silence, to Sam quietly slurping at his Jello from the other side of the room.
The heels returned a while later. "They didn't have blue," Tina said. "So I got green. Did he do anything yet?"
"Like wake up?" Sam asked. "No."
"Did he even move?"
"No. I don't know."
"You have to stare at him for a while."
"Sounds like a good job for you."
"What if he's making like, really tiny, miniscule movements that can only be seen from up close?" As she said this, he felt her come closer. By the end of her sentence he felt her breath on his cheek.
The door reopened. "Tina, if you don't get away from— from Blaine," Kurt seemed to stumble over his words, "I swear to God."
"I was trying to see if he might be waking up, which is more than some of us are doing."
"I was talking to the doctor," Kurt replied, imitating her snark. "I'd like to see you try to get information out of him. Go ahead. Go tell him you're a random, underaged classmate of Blaine's and you want all the classified personal information about him he can possibly offer."
"Just because you lied to him—" Tina tried to say.
"I didn't lie! Exactly! And keep your voice down!"
Blaine stopped listening to them argue and tried to concentrate on moving an arm, or something. He tried to lift his hand first, to no avail. He knew trying to open his eyes was pointless. Aggravated, he tried to throw an inward fit, and in his mind he flailed around and rolled out of bed and ran out of the hospital like a marathon sprinter and maybe did rather skilled cartwheels all the way home. In reality, he managed to barely move his leg.
"Uh, guys," Sam said. "He totally just moved."
Tina and Kurt stopped mid-argument and fell silent.
"Go eat your Jello on that side of the room," Kurt shooed Tina, and returned to Blaine's side. He held his hand again.
Blaine struggled with himself until his eyes opened in slits. He spent more effort trying to grip Kurt's hand, to keep him from letting go again, than he did actually trying to wake up and open his eyes. But eventually it occurred to him that it might be equally as wonderful to look at Kurt, too.
Kurt gave him a sad smile when their gazes met. "How do you feel?" he asked Blaine.
"Happy, to see you," Blaine answered, but only a fraction of it actually came out of his dry throat. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I hope you weren't going to wear that Breadstix," he whispered, eyes sweeping over Kurt's tuxedo.
"No… that was last night. Today's the wedding." Kurt seemed a little embarrassed, like it was his fault that time had naturally passed since Blaine was last conscious. "We all got ready, in case you woke up in time…"
Blaine feebly lifted his head to see Sam and Tina in their formalwear. He waved at them and they waved back.
"I have to get dressed, too. What time is it? What time is the wedding?" He made a sad attempt at rolling out of bed but Kurt gently pushed him back.
"I don't know if you should go. You should probably rest. And you're attached to an IV anyway, so you can't go very far."
"No, I'm going. I missed our date last night, I'm not going to miss the wedding."
"You don't have to go for me," Kurt said.
"I'm not going to spend the entire time you're in Lima sleeping, I haven't seen you since Christmas and I want to spend time with you—"
"I'll stay an extra day, we'll hang out tomorrow."
"No," Blaine insisted, and pushed himself up to sitting. "I'm going to the wedding."
Kurt sighed. "Fine."
Blaine felt weird making a decision for himself, without asking anyone for permission first. Then he realized why. "Where are my parents?"
"They're here. They're sitting outside. They thought we were being teenage hooligans in here, or something."
"Which we are," Tina said with a mouthful of Jello.
"They just wanted some space. Sam called them after you stopped talking to him on the phone," Kurt smiled.
Sam gave a sheepish shrug. "I called Kurt first."
"Anyway, we took care of you, and Tina… was very supportive," Kurt said.
"He's my date to the wedding," she said, glaring at Kurt. "Obviously I'm gonna be here."
"Obviously," Kurt agreed under his breath, giving Blaine a fleeting look of genuine Tina-related concern before standing up. "I'll get the doctor and your parents."
Ten minutes later, when everyone was gathered in an awkward semi-circle around his hospital bed, Kurt bounced on his feet. "I was going to tell you earlier but I thought you wouldn't believe me."
"Tell me what?"
"The doctor has to tell you," Kurt said, sharing the same knowing smile that was also on his parents' faces.
The doctor opened his mouth but Kurt interrupted him. "You're cured!"
Blaine stared at him, and couldn't help but smile. "You're right, I don't believe you."
"Not cured, exactly," the doctor said with a laugh.
"Practically cured," Kurt whispered so everyone could hear him.
"What I told Kurt and your parents," the doctor said, "is that this episode only proves that the medication we put you on works exactly as we wanted and expected it to. As long as you're sure you didn't take it yesterday."
"I'm sure I didn't take it yesterday," Blaine said a little guiltily.
"So we gave you some intravenously to make up for it," he pointed to the IV machine. "And you're awake again. That's exactly what should happen."
"That's good, I guess," Blaine said. Kurt was still bouncing impatiently. "Is there something else?"
"Oh, right," the doctor said, looking up from his notes. "If you forget the medication again, and the same thing happens in the future, I don't see any reason why you'd have to come back to the hospital."
Kurt was grinning. Blaine was trying to process what he was saying. "Like, ever?"
"Not for any reason related to your loss of consciousness, as far as I can see. I'm convinced you have quite the support system," he motioned around the room, to his parents, to Kurt and Sam and Tina, "and as long as long as everyone here knows that you need two pills if you involuntarily fall asleep, you'll be fine. They can stick them under your tongue. It'll taste disgusting when you wake up, but that's what you get for forgetting, I guess. And I'm sure you'll be awake again in less than 24 hours. If it lasts for more than two days, then yes, I'd like for you to be admitted to the hospital. But I really doubt it will ever come to that. You respond perfectly to the medication."
Kurt applauded in joy, which Tina and Sam joined in on, adding their own "Yaaaaaay!"s. His father clapped him on the back and his mother gave him a sideways hug as he was still sitting up in the bed.
Blaine thanked the doctor and then everyone else in the room in succession, in a happy shock. And then everyone kind of stared at him, wondering what his next move might be. All he could do was look at Kurt in his tuxedo.
"Okay," Blaine said. "Unhook me. I'm going to the wedding."
His mother tried to talk him out of it, but not very convincingly. When his father mumbled to her to let him go if he wanted to go, she gave in. The doctor pulled the tubes from his arm and Kurt presented the shopping bag he had brought Blaine's suit in. "I thought if you absolutely insisted, we should at least have something for you to wear besides a hospital gown," he said.
Blaine wobbled to the bathroom and dressed himself. As he slipped on the second shoe and tied his tie, there was a quiet knock at the door. When he opened it Kurt was there, wordlessly handing him a little pot of hair gel and a comb.
"Is this a comment on my appearance?" Blaine joked, and when Kurt looked a little bit genuinely embarrassed, Blaine shook his head and didn't give him a chance to answer the question. "I'm sorry. Thank you. I would have had a nervous breakdown without it. I haven't even looked in the mirror yet."
Kurt took his time responding, like he was choosing his words carefully. Finally he said, "I just thought you'd appreciate it."
"We wouldn't want a prom part two," Blaine agreed. But he knew he would have gone to the wedding no matter what his hair looked like, or even if he had to wear a hospital gown to it. His insistence wasn't really based on his loyalty to Mr. Schuester. He just really, really, really, really wanted to spend time with Kurt. It felt very important. He felt that it had to be done, no matter what.
He tried to wash and style his hair in the little bathroom sink and mirror, and tried to take as little time as possible doing so. He opened the door fast and reentered the room. "Let's go."
His father told him to have fun, his mother told him to be careful. Kurt promised to keep an eye on him, and Tina quickly promised the same thing. Blaine lagged behind the group as they all tried to leave at once, all wrapped up in several separate conversations. His parents went first, and then the doctor who had been joined by a nurse, discussing what to order for dinner, completely unconcerned. Sam and Tina were laughing about something, and Kurt, reading his mind, waited for Blaine.
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked him. "Should we rent a wheelchair, at least? No one will laugh at you, I mean—"
"I'm fine," Blaine cut him off, trying to sound confident. He smiled at Kurt, and surreptitiously wrapped an arm around his waist.
Kurt assumed, or went along with the facade, that Blaine actually needed to lean on someone to walk. He smiled back at him and put his own arm around Blaine's waist in return. "You look rather handsome today. Especially for a recently released hospital patient."
"Thank you, as do you. I like your bowtie."
Kurt reflexively put his fingers to it, lifting his chin and exposing his throat. "Thanks."
They unnecessarily slowly brought up the rear of the group. Tina kept looking behind her and glaring at them. Blaine just smiled at her.
"Hurry up!" she called.
"We're not even late yet," Kurt said, checking his watch. "We have plenty of time."
They passed by the front desk on the way to the elevators, where the doctor and now three nurses were comparing delivery menus.
"Congratulations, by the way," the doctor told them as they passed, without even looking up.
Blaine paused. Two of the nurses grinned at him. "Yeah, congratulations," they said.
Before he could ask, Kurt was pulling him along, leading him determinedly to the elevator. Kurt had his hand to his mouth now, trying not to laugh. "Thank you," Kurt managed to call back to them, with a mostly even tone.
"Thanks…" Blaine added, going along with it.
Kurt pulled him into the elevator with Tina and Sam and burst into laughter when the doors slid closed. Tina was still glaring at him.
"If you think they were just congratulating you on your wedding, it's because they were," she said, obviously unamused.
"Well, the soulmate thing was getting me nowhere last night!" Kurt exclaimed. "The doctor didn't care, and now that you're 18 he said he needed your express written or verbal consent, or whatever, to tell me anything about your health. Which is ridiculous. It affects me, too, you know."
"I know," Blaine said, sympathetic and guilty. He'd fill out all the forms in the world that would give anything he had to Kurt, if he knew Kurt wanted them.
"And then this morning we all decided to dress for the wedding so we could stay with you longer, rather than leaving to go get ready early. Well, they were going to go. I was going to stay, if you didn't wake up yet," Kurt said. "And I was all upset, trying to think of what to do. And I was almost going to call Cooper, because he could always get me in to see you. But then the doctor saw us dressed up for the wedding and he was like, 'Whoa, who's getting married?'"
"And he said 'me, to Blaine,'" Tina finished the story.
"And then he was like, 'Now will you tell me what's going on with him?'" Sam added, and laughed. "It was amazing. You're going to be a totally awesome actor, Kurt."
"I was pretty convincing," Kurt nodded. "I think Cooper would have been proud."
"But didn't my parents ruin it?" Blaine asked.
"They never heard anything about it," Kurt smirked. "It was perfect. And then he told me everything, and I didn't have to be the absolute last one to know that you don't have to go back to the hospital. Ever again. In fact, I was the first to find out." He looked quite pleased with himself.
Blaine just smiled at him.
Kurt blinked, and his smile faded a bit. "But it doesn't mean anything, that I said… that. I just wanted to con information out of him. We're still just… friends."
"Right," Blaine said.
"Right," Kurt agreed.
"Right," Tina chimed in.
"Okay…" Sam said, just to say something.
Kurt and Sam went toward Kurt's rental car in the parking ramp, and Blaine was ready to follow Kurt anywhere, but Tina grabbed his arm and pulled him away. "We're going in my car," she stated.
"Oh," Blaine said. "Okay."
He tuned out Tina's chatter while they followed Kurt and Sam to the church. He thought he saw Kurt's eyes sometimes in his rearview mirror, or maybe he imagined it. There were two thoughts he couldn't get out of his mind. The first was Kurt telling people they were getting married, even if it was a ruse, or a joke. There were three nurses and a doctor who were entirely convinced he and Kurt were getting married. It must seem plausible to to other people. They were old enough now. Blaine was only a few months away from graduating. They could do it. They could get it out of the way before he moved to a new apartment with Kurt in New York. It could be a small affair. No one would really have to know about it. And they weren't so young that it meant they were making a stupid mistake, because they were soulmates, too. If it made sense to other people, why shouldn't it make sense to them? Why shouldn't they actually go through with it?
Except that he would never get Kurt to agree to it. Not yet, anyway. He needed more time to convince Kurt to forgive him, and he meant to make the most of the time he had now. It wouldn't hurt that they were going to someone else's wedding. It might even put Kurt in a romantic mood.
As for the second thought, he had to ignore it as best as he could, especially while Tina was in the car, blabbing away next to him.
They parked in adjoining spots at the church and reconvened into a group of four. Blaine followed Kurt's gaze to the front doors, upon which Rachel leaned, arms folded, talking to Finn. Kurt held up the rental car keys and jangled them in her direction. She shook her head, so he pocketed them. "We're sharing the rental car," he explained. "It's really… fancy. I think we could successfully rob a bank with it."
They admired it for an awkwardly silent moment before Sam cleared his throat. "Oh! Tina, let's go inside. See if anyone needs help. Like Miss Pillsbury, or someone."
Tina sighed, exasperated, and stared at Blaine. "Are you even going to sit with me during this thing or should I try attaching myself to some other couple? I might as well just go home."
"No!" he said. "I'll sit with you, of course. I asked you to come with me, I'm not ditching you."
"I just want to talk to Blaine, alone, for like three minutes. Max." Kurt said.
She frowned and followed Sam inside.
"Like, really alone," Kurt said when they were gone. He opened the back door of the car. "Come on," he said, climbing in first and shifting to the other side so Blaine could get in next to him.
Blaine didn't know if he should shut the door or not, but he did. Suddenly he was very aware of how alone they were, how long it had been since they were last alone together. It was like he'd shut the whole world out.
"I'm so happy for you," Kurt began. "I know I can't shut up about it, but I've been constantly worried about you since I met you."
"Don't worry about me," Blaine pleaded.
"I will a little less, now. As long as you have the pills with you. Do you have some with you now?"
"Yes, I already had them in the bag you so thoughtfully brought for me."
Kurt smiled. "Good." They stared at each other for a moment, and Kurt began again. "The doctor said you shouldn't live alone. He said someone should keep an eye on you as often as possible. And I told him that I would."
Blaine pressed his lips together. "That's very kind of you, but we don't even live in the same state."
"Not now, but you're coming to New York, aren't you?"
"I don't know. I want to, but… I don't know if I should."
"Of course you should. I took responsibility for you and I intend to see it through. You'll come to New York this summer, and go to NYADA and live…" he paused. "… Nearby."
Blaine half rolled his eyes and turned to look out the window. He couldn't look at Kurt when he knew what Kurt was about to say.
"Well, I want you to live with me, but I don't know what that means, and I really don't know how Ad—" he stopped himself.
Blaine looked back at him and raised an eyebrow, expectantly.
"I don't know how Adam would take it," Kurt said, looking pained to say it. "I don't know what he would think, I don't even know what I would think. I don't know what would happen. I just know that I want you close so that I can take care of you. It's my responsibility."
"It's my responsibility to take care of myself," Blaine corrected him.
"Maybe we should try to take care of you together," Kurt said with the faintest of smiles.
Blaine returned it. "Maybe. I can't give you a definitive answer right now. I don't know if I could handle seeing you with someone else all the time. I don't want to move there just to move away after a month because I'm miserable."
"Just think about it. Coming to New York, I mean," Kurt said, and put his hand on top of Blaine's.
Blaine squeezed his fingers and nodded. They looked at each other again.
"Sometimes I wonder if we're thinking the same thing," Kurt said quietly. "Like right now."
Blaine couldn't help but smile. "What are you thinking right now?" he asked, before Kurt could ask him first.
Kurt averted his eyes and smiled at the back of the headrest in front of him. "I'm… I don't know. What are you thinking about?"
Unfair. "Back seats," Blaine said.
Kurt looked at him again.
"The meaning of back seats," he continued, watching a little blush rise to Kurt's cheeks. "And how we even ended up here."
Kurt cleared his throat. "We can't get back together," he said quickly. "Not right now. Not at all, while I'm here this weekend. You have to give me more time."
"Okay."
"A lot more time."
"Okay."
"I… have to figure out what I'm doing with Adam. Anyway at this point I'm pretty sure he would be upset if I came back or called him up and dumped him for no reason."
Blaine made a face to himself and tried to ignore that comment. "Okay."
"And that means there are feelings involved, so that means it's something more than nothing. And I can't cheat on him. Even if he's convoluted whatever it is that's going on between us, I can't… cheat on him."
Blaine bit his tongue. "Okay." He was going to open the car door and get out, maybe try to avoid Kurt for the rest of the weekend or at least for an hour or so until he got his emotions under control, and only then if they were in a group of people and he wouldn't be required to actually speak to him. But Kurt's hand was still on his, and before he could pull away Kurt flipped it over and traced the lines of his palm with his fingers. Kurt was deep in thought, frowning and furrowing his eyebrows and everything.
Blaine felt his heart or lungs or something important in his chest tighten up. He tried to take a deep breath. "Kurt," he breathed out. "I don't think—"
Kurt's fingers stopped tracing, but he didn't lift his eyes. "You don't think what?"
That I can do this, Blaine wanted to say. That I can just be your friend. That I can handle listening to you talk about being in a relationship with someone else, talk about how loyal you are to him that you would never want to hurt him, even if it meant hurting either of us. Especially if you're going to pull me into back seats of cars and touch my hand, when I know you're remembering when we used to be lovers, when you know I can't touch you back.
But he couldn't say it. He had to try. He had to smile and grind his teeth and chew up his tongue and let Kurt date other people, and still try to be his friend. If he asked Kurt for all or nothing, he might actually end up with nothing. And that wasn't a viable option.
He shook his head. "Never mind."
"Don't be sad," Kurt smiled at him, apparently done thinking. "What can I do to cheer you up?"
Stop being suggestive? Blaine thought. "Um," he said out loud.
But before he could think of an answer, Kurt leaned into him and kissed him.
Blaine's heart melted and broke and repaired and melted again, and he pulled Kurt closer. "You don't have to kiss me to cheer me up," he tried to say against Kurt's lips.
"It's not entirely for your benefit," Kurt said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm the one who pulled you into the back seat."
"Mmm?" Blaine asked.
"It was planned all along," Kurt said. "I sort of, barely tried to talk myself out of it, but screw that."
And with that, the kiss turned from sweet and a little apprehensive to needy and passionate. Kurt parted Blaine's lips with his own and slid his tongue over Blaine's teeth and tongue. Blaine tried to think of the last time he'd kissed Kurt like that, but realized it was probably right before he told him about Eli, so he pushed it out of his mind. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and had no intention of letting him go any time soon. The wedding completely left his thoughts.
Kurt wiggled backwards toward his side of the car, pulling Blaine along with him, without ever breaking the kiss. Blaine sort of wondered to himself where they were going, but had an answer when he realized Kurt was guiding him onto his back and climbing on top of him.
Blaine would have told him this was a pleasant and unexpected turn of events, but he couldn't really talk.
Kurt pulled away from him, only a few inches, to give him a look. "We're not getting back together."
Blaine nodded. "That's why you told that doctor you're marrying me and promised him you would take care of me the rest of my life, and why you're on top of me right now."
"We're not," Kurt said, and kissed him again. "We're not doing anything."
"Oh," Blaine said.
Kurt pulled up again. "We're just… having a wedding inspired make out hookup. So is everyone else out there, I guarantee you."
"Probably not at this point in the day," Blaine had to disagree. "I think the wedding is supposed to happen first, to, you know, romantically inspire everyone. And then the reception. With alcohol. I think after all of that is when the hookups are supposed to happen."
Kurt frowned. "None of that is true at all." They kissed again.
Blaine leaned up and into him as much as he could with all of Kurt's weight pressing him down. Into the kiss, into his body, into anything he could get at. He wanted to promise Kurt somehow that he wanted it as much as Kurt did, probably more. He just wanted Kurt to admit it meant something.
There was a knock at the window. Blaine didn't care who it was or what they were knocking for. There could have been an apocalypse and he would have stayed put. When Kurt lifted his head, Blaine tried to peer up and out of the window, but he couldn't see anything.
"That's my date!" Tina's muffled voice yelled.
"Your date's kind of busy right now!" Kurt yelled back.
Blaine heard her stomp away. Kurt looked for a second like he was going to ask Blaine what in the hell that was all about, but just as quickly changed his mind and they kissed again.
This time Kurt's hands were quick to wander. Now that Tina had come after them, any number more might be on her heels. It was like Kurt was determined to accomplish something in particular before they ran out of time, before someone surely forced them to get out of the car and get into the church.
Despite how much Blaine's body, mind, and soul wanted Kurt to accomplish that particular thing, he still had lingering hesitations. They were in a church parking lot, for one thing, the windows surrounding them was another. The dozen people who knew where they were and would at any second realize what they were doing. Blaine needed privacy and time with Kurt, and he was going to get neither in that rental car.
Still, Kurt's hands had loosened his shirt from the sides where it had at one time been tucked into his trousers, and was running his soft palms up his bare torso, from waist to nipple, and back down again. But as much as everything in Blaine screamed at him to let it keep happening, to always have as much of Kurt's skin touching his own, at all times, he knew they couldn't.
"Maybe… this isn't… like… the best time…" he managed to whisper in the breaks of kisses. "But maybe… later…"
But Kurt ignored him. And Blaine was afraid later, no matter how soon later might be, Kurt wouldn't feel the same or want him anymore. Maybe the stars had aligned for him, just for five minutes, and it wasn't going to happen ever again.
So he changed his mind. He wiggled under Kurt even further, rolled up into him harder, and with nervous fingers pulled open his belt. Before the second knock on the window he had just enough time to brush his fingertips over Kurt's erection, to feel how hard he was through the cotton of his boxer briefs. It was a little surprising. After everything that had happened, Blaine still had a difficult time believing Kurt was capable of finding him attractive or worthwhile at all. The knowledge, and the little noise Kurt made when he touched him, went directly to his own, already well established, erection.
But the knock came anyway. And Mercedes even had the nerve to open the door. He and Kurt stared up at her, frozen. Partly because they couldn't move much at all without seriously embarrassing themselves, and partly because they were both in shock.
Blah blah blah, she said. Something about the wedding. You both have to go, so get out of the car.
Kurt sat up on his knees and Blaine sat up to face him, to talk to him for ten more seconds before the world separated them again. He said what he thought he should say. "I'm sorry."
Kurt frowned at him, smoothing his shirttail. "Why?"
"Because I'm not exactly sure what's happening right now… I think I'm still kind of waking up… but I know somehow this is probably my fault."
"Maybe it's not a bad thing, Blaine," Kurt said, and rolled down the window. He stuck his head out and sucked in some fresh air, trying to cool off. "Not everything has to have a meaning. Maybe we're just having a little fun for once in our lives."
Blaine knew he was either lying or had deluded himself somehow. Maybe his pseudo new boyfriend had brainwashed him. Sex and kissing didn't have to mean something to everyone, but it by necessity had to mean something to them. "Well, if you're sure I didn't guilt you into making out with me at some earlier point that I can't remember…"
Kurt just gave him a look and started awkwardly crawling over him, toward the open car door, to join Mercedes and the wedding.
Blaine decided to beg for one last thing. "Don't avoid me later."
"I never avoid you," Kurt said, not looking back.
"We have to talk, Kurt. We have to."
But Kurt was already outside, taking Mercedes' arm, leaving him behind to go find Tina.