A fully grown golden retriever and a puppy walk through the same mud puddle. How deep is the mud?
It depends on which one you ask.
I want to talk about something real quick. I want to try and make things a little clearer for some people.
Depression. It can be a hard to understand it if you've never had to deal with it yourself. In the mainstream, a lot of people seem to think depression is all sadness all the time. To be fair, it is sort of the truth... but its not at the same time.
Depression can also be emptyness. Numbness.
Think of the subject you like the most. Maybe you love gaming and movies. Maybe you like reading or camping or horseback riding. Now think of things you dislike. Maybe you dont like playing sports or gym class. What is your dream? Maybe you want to be a teacher? Rocket scientist? Truck driver? Law enforcement? All those things you care about. What you like, dislike, your goals, ect...
Imagine that suddenly, they no longer matter to you. Those things that were important to you weren't replaced with something else. There's just nothing. Your interest in things is gone. You don't feel surprised or upset about it either. Your emotions are gone too. There is nothing. You feel nothing. There is only a heaviness pressing down on you. your body feels the weight of it. Your soul feels the weight of it.
It's not easy is it? It's hard to understand something you've never experienced yourself. How can you care about nothing? How could a person feel nothing?
Personallly, I think at the heart of it is the tirednes. Have you ever been so tired that you struggled to will yourself to move? So tired that maybe you couldn't bring yourself to? It's like that. Your mind. Your heart and spirit are tired. You struggle bring yourself to care about things. You get so tired sometimes that you simply can't. There's just not enough energy. You get tired of existance. You just wants to rest. Some people do. Depression is lonelyness. Sadness. Self-hatred. Pain. Anger. Despiration. Emptyness. Numbness. It is many things.
But at it's heart its just tiredness. A desire to rest.