Chapter 10: Love Me Again
Harvey was standing by the window inside his office holding a glass of whiskey. It was already past 9:00 PM and he was alone. Donna had long been gone for the day, and the firm was now deserted. He watched the city skyline outside his window as he contemplated on what's been bothering him for weeks.
Harvey was never the same again after that kiss at the balcony. The minute he kissed Donna, he felt something he never felt before. He couldn't quite figure out what it was but something had change in him. He no longer saw Donna as his secretary and trusted friend. He was seeing her in a different light. Although he must admit he had always been attracted to her even when they're in a strictly platonic relationship. But he managed to keep his attraction in check, mindful of Donna's personal rule. But this new feeling was giving him sleepless nights. It was the first time that a woman ever made him feel this way.
He thought about what might have been between him and Donna during their early years at Pearson-Hardman. Had it not been for Donna's personal policy, he would have continued dating her after their one night together. It wouldn't bother him one bit even when they work closely together.
For so many years, Harvey would always get any woman he wanted. And he didn't even have to work hard for it because practically every woman would throw themselves at his feet. Women couldn't just resist his good looks and charm. Of course, it helped that he earns millions per year, live in a swanky apartment suite in Manhattan, and drive expensive cars. But even with all these luxuries, Harvey couldn't get the one thing he always wanted: Donna.
She was the only woman that ever rejected him. And even though they slept together once, he still considered her as the one that got away. Over the years, he coped with this rejection by distracting himself with other women. Donna on the other hand, dated other guys from outside work since their one night stand. And it didn't bother him that much until she started dating Stephen Huntley. He hated it that she broke her own rule for Stephen, but not for him. It would have been better if she disregarded her personal rule and agreed to date him, not that British guy. It was a blessing in disguise then that something happened at the firm involving Stephen. He turned out to be the worse they could ever imagine and Donna ended that relationship fast.
And now Donna had a new guy in her life. Harvey found out about it after overhearing one of her conversations with him on the phone one afternoon. She was all giggly and flirty over the phone. When he asked her about it, she admitted that she's dating someone – a guy called Brent.
Harvey frowned at the recollection. He took a sip from his glass and walked over to a couch near a massive shelf full of his vinyl record collection. He sat and made himself comfortable on the couch as he recalled that afternoon. Apparently, Donna's relationship with the guy was getting serious as he remembered the look on her face when she talked about Brent. She had a dreamy look in her eyes as she talked about her future plans with Brent – a trip to Hawaii next month, a play they were going to watch together soon, a family gathering that she was going to attend with him…
For the first time in his life, Harvey was jealous. He couldn't fully fathom what he really felt about Donna at that point. All he knew was that he wanted Donna to date him. He wanted to be the one she'd travel with to Hawaii, not Brent. He wanted to be the reason for her smile and laughter. He wanted to be the man she'd sleep next to. He wanted to be the only man in her life.
Harvey ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He couldn't bear to think of Donna in bed with Brent –or any other man for that matter. Years ago, this wouldn't bother him. But things had changed since that kiss. What should he do now then? Tell her to stop dating Brent? That would be selfish of him.
Should he tell her about how he feels?
Harvey was never the guy who openly talks about his feelings. And even though his relationship with Donna was pretty tight, he still kept most of what he feels close to his heart and heavily guarded. It was a product of a painful experience he had as a teen when he found out that his mother cheated on his father. Since then, he couldn't bring himself to commit to any woman.
But Donna was different. She's special to him. She's been loyal to him for many years. She was there with him even before he made his first million. Now he wasn't sure how she would react if he told her about what he feels – if he ever had the guts to do it.
Harvey sipped the last drop of his drink and glanced at his watch. It was already 10:00 PM. He stood up and collected his coat hanging at the back of his desk chair. He went home still not knowing what to do about Donna.