In the weeks since Eva had been born, Emma and Killian finally slipped into a standard routine with their time and energy. She was finding that the dark circles under her eyes had faded and the grumpy outbursts of "Now What?" were becoming less common. She'd even found herself taking walks with Eva toward town and visiting her father at the station for an hour or two each day.
"I'm thinking about going back to work," Emma told Elsa one evening during their mirror chat time. "I think I'm ready for it."
"You were mentally ready 15 minutes after she was born," Elsa said with a laugh. "Face it, Emma. You're married to your job."
Emma feigned an expression of being offended. "Give me credit," she said. "I was good for the first hour."
The truth was that Emma did enjoy motherhood. She marveled at her daughter's ever movement. Each smile was a reason to celebrate and each cry its own investigation. She had seen Killian go from frustrated and angry after a hard day at work to marveling in awe that his daughter was now sucking on her fingers or blowing bubbles. Each day marked a new adventure or discovery. But each day also meant a closeness with her daughter that she had never considered. She knew her daughter's cries by heart now, recognizing her needs and fulfilling each one. She saw the change in her daughter as she or Killian picked her up, the tense muscles relaxing and contented look before she fell asleep in their arms.
The time off from work had also brought Emma closer to Henry. He met her after school each day, even if it was a night he normally spent with Regina. She knew about his assignments, his friends, and even the crush on the girl in his English class. He was helpful and kind, but beyond that he was excited to sit with her and learn more about her life and what she knew of his dad's life.
She had also fallen into twice weekly visits to the park with her mother and Neal. The toddler would run and play on the equipment, his mother trailing after him when she wasn't sitting on a bench with Emma.
"He's getting more and more active," Mary Margaret mused, watching the boy attempt to catch one of the birds that landed in the clearing. He had not yet figured out that stealth would be required and yelled to each of them that he was going to catch them. Then he was surprised when they flew away. "Before you know it, she'll be the same age."
"She's already growing up too fast," Emma said. "I already had to pack away the newborn clothes and move her up to the next size."
Mary Margaret nodded, offering a thank you for allowing her to watch her granddaughter the other night when Emma and Killian tried their first date night out since the birth. It hadn't lasted long, but Mary Margaret's eyes were glowing at the chance to care for the little girl.
"I appreciated it," Emma said earnestly. "I was hoping we might talk about us kind of switching off and helping each other out."
"So you're definitely going back to work?" her mother asked.
The main part of her fear of going back to work was the idea of losing that closeness with Henry and Eva. She wanted it all, which was not humanly possible to achieve.
"You still remember how to do that?" David asked when Emma offered to switch the phones over from the service to live during a station visit. "Or should I give you a tutorial?"
"I think I've got it," Emma said as she wheeled her daughter's stroller up to the desk. "Nothing to it." She pressed a few buttons and heard the stuttered dial tone in her ear. "Done."
David smiled appreciatively and dropped a few files on his desk. "Your mother was thinking about a little get together Friday night. Just a few folks at the loft for dinner. Interested?"
Emma was reaching into the stroller and readjusting the blanket swaddling Eva. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders and tented her vision for a moment. "Sure," Emma said. "That sounds nice. I think this is our weekend with Henry too."
Biting into his granola bar, David chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "So you going to keep coming by every day or should we talk about when you're coming back to work?" He paused as she shifted uncomfortably. "If you don't want to talk about it, we can avoid the topic for now."
"I am ready," she told him. "Let's talk about it Friday."
She and the baby headed home to meet Killian who had started stopping by for lunch each day with his girls. As set as the schedule was, she still cracked a smile when he peeked his head through the doorway and appeared surprised to see them both there waiting for him, Emma having prepared a few sandwiches and salads and Eva fresh from her morning nap. Sometimes she would take Eva down to the docks to visit him, watching as he carried her around some of the bigger ships and told her the names of each element and tips for sailing.
"She's too young to understand all that," Emma laughed one day when he was explaining the difference between a monsoon and a typhoon to the wiggling infant.
"It's in her blood," he protested. "She's got a long line of seafaring people in her family. I must keep up that tradition."
She didn't protest too much, but instead watched and listened to their conversations with pride. Her mother spoke to the baby with baby talk, raising the pitch of her voice and making little faces at her granddaughter. David spoke to the baby as though he was asking questions of a third person, "Does the baby want her nap now?" Even Henry changed his speech in the presence of his sister and called her Eva or Evie when he spoke to her.
Killian did none of that. He spoke to his daughter as though she were a friend or equal. Emma could swear that in some conversations he had with her that he actually expected her to respond. It was an endearing trait and one she was sure to hear over the years as Eva grew from infant to child. That was just the case today as he changed the topic from weather patterns to the right amount of pressure for the jib.
"I told my father that I think I'm ready to go back to work," she said one day when she brought lunch to him. He had Eva on his lap and was lazily dipping a chip into some salsa that she had found at a farmer's market. "Maybe next week?"
Killian had expected this from her, as she had never made any pretense about wanting to stay at home. It was just one of those modern things he had become accustomed to in this realm. "I would think you'd be anxious to go back," he said carefully. "Are you concerned?"
"Mom and I were talking. We thought that maybe we could switch off for a while. I could watch Neal with Eva in the mornings. She could watch them in the afternoons. So it would just be part-time for a while."
"Whatever makes you happy," he said, smiling down at his daughter. "I could arrange my schedule differently here."
Henry's afternoon visits were always fun too. While he came over to talk with his mother, he spent a fair amount of time reading or telling stories to his sister. On more than a few occasions, Emma used this time to take her own nap or catch up on a few household chores. But one time she had walked in on Henry telling a very happy Eva a story about a pirate and a swan. Standing in the kitchen, Emma listened to her son's version of their love story and restrained a laugh at the innocent telling of the tale. He was part way through the story when she saw that he was leaned over a piece of paper and her daughter was in her carrier. Watching for a moment, she realized that Henry was drawing pictures as he spoke.
"You've got quite a talent there, kid," she said when she saw the finished product. "How long have you been drawing like this?"
"I just like to doodle," Henry said humbly. "It's just something to do."
Picking up the paper, she smiled at the familiar face of herself and Killian. She could almost remember the conversation and the feel of his hand on hers from the moment depicted. "It's more than just a doodle," she told him. "It's very good."
Henry changed the subject to the girl in his class that he liked. Emma tried to decode the teenage female mind for him, but failed because as Henry said, she was not a typical teenage girl even when she was that age. So she stuck by the standard advice of being yourself and being honest. Throwing in a few comments about their being plenty of fish in the sea.
"I'm thinking of going back to work soon," she said after Henry helped her take out the garbage. "Maybe part-time for a few weeks and then…"
Henry nodded thoughtfully. She had come to realize that he liked this side of their relationship, her coming to him with her thoughts or problems. He liked being a man in her life to fix things. "I guess you're getting kind of bored with just Evie to talk to all day," he said, pinching his sister's foot as he spoke. "You probably miss talking to people other than family."
"Your sister keeps me plenty busy," Emma said. I thought I'd be more anxious about going back to work, but I'm not. I want to go back, but I don't want to leave her either. I'm just a little torn."
Again Henry seemed to understand. "You know that Evie and I are fine with it," he said, speaking for his little sister as though she had voiced an opinion. "You aren't neglecting us or anything."
So with the approval of everyone, including giving herself permission, Emma laid out her clothes Sunday night for her Monday morning return to work. She was up at 5:30 to shower. Breakfast was on the stove at 6:00. And then she heard Killian's voice at 6:08.
"Love, will you come in here for a moment?" he asked. Eva had just recently moved from their room to the nursery. Her form always looked so tiny in the crib.
"What's the matter?" she asked, walking in to see her husband cradling their whimpering daughter in his arms. The little girl's face was flushed and her tiny hand tugged and swatted at her ear. Her breathing was noisy and she appeared agitated.
"I believe she may be ill," he said, looking pale as she rocked the little girl back and forth. "Can you check?"
Emma's hand cupped the baby's forehead, feeling the warmth radiate back to her. "She's got a fever," Emma said, leaning down to kiss her daughter's cheek. "And with the way she's fussing with her ear, I'd be willing to bet it is an ear infection. But the breathing worries me most."
Emma pulled out her cell and left a message with the pediatrician and called her parents next to postpone her work return.
"You were so looking forward to that," Killian said, worrying with his bottom lip between his teeth. "I can stay here and care for her. It's not a problem." He hiked the baby up higher against his chest.
"I know you could," she said, her head coming to rest on his shoulder and her arm around his waist so that she might look down on their daughter too. "I don't want to leave her though. Work can wait another day or two."
When the doctor called back an hour later, Killian had already called into work too and they both took the infant to her first sick appointment. Emma's hands were full of medicine samples and lists of products like humidifiers and nose bulbs that might help the situation. Killian was clinging to his daughter protectively and glaring at a nurse who had been the one to draw blood.
"It will help them diagnose her," Emma said as the nurse left the room without turning her back on the pirate. He'd already threatened her.
"It's barbaric," he had hissed back.
When the doctor said it was just a mild case of the croup, they packed up to head back home with a stop for medicine first. Killian went inside the pharmacy, but Emma knew that was a mistake the moment she saw him leave with not just a small bag of medicine, but several canvas totes. He had purchased all the necessary items, a teddy bear, a soft book toy, a book on child psychology, one of Emma's favorite candy bars, a new thumb drive for Henry who had said he needed one, and a can of chicken noodle soup that was beyond Eva's digestion now. She wasn't even sure what else there was in the bags. He'd been so proud of each purchase that she didn't chastise him.
So their routine was disrupted as in addition to feedings and diaper changes, they gave their daughter her medicine and tried to soothe her when the pain was at its worst. Emma was holding her daughter in her arms just after midnight, the wails from the child practically deafening the tired mother. She was glad that Henry was at Regina's house, as at least he was getting some sleep.
"Bloody hell," Killian said, coming into the room still yawning. His pajama pants were low on his hips and his hair was wildly messy from the little bit of sleep he'd managed. "Isn't there anything that will help?"
Emma fought back the urge to tell him where he could stick that question, as if there was something she would surely be trying it right now and not letting her daughter suffer. "I wish," she said meekly, settling for those two words instead of a bitingly sarcastic remark. "Do you think we should try the shower thing the doctor suggested?"
"Couldn't hurt," Killian answered. "Though it sounds a bit odd."
Emma did not want to explain it to him again and carried the wailing infant to the larger of the two bathrooms with Killian at her heels. "You can go back to bed," she said, turning the hot water on full blast with one hand. "Maybe one of us could get some sleep." She sat down on the edge of the bathtub and lifted Eva to her shoulder. Rubbing small circles on her back, Emma decided that the baby was quieting some or she was growing used to the sound.
"I'm in this for the long haul," Killian said, sliding with his back against the door until he was seated across from his girls. "Besides, you think I could sleep over that noise?"
Eventually the steam filled the room and the baby's yowls became whimpers and then quieted all together. Emma had taken to pacing, which seemed to soothe Eva even more with the motion. Killian even tried singing softly to them, never even running low on songs. With a yawn, Emma looked down at her husband and smiled. "I think she's asleep," she whispered.
Killian looked up and smiled back. "Who knew there was such magic in this room?"
Kneeling down next to him, she leaned against him and closed her eyes as the steam circled round them. "Good night, Killian," she said, nuzzling her nose and mouth against the stubble of his cheek.
A/N: I'm feeling a little cruel to children in this fic. I have given Henry appendicitis and made Eva sick. I don't even like sick kids. LOL.