NEW ECLIPSE ***UPDATED 7/4/2018**** HAPPY 4th AMERICA.
I don't own TWILIGHT. That's why I cry myself to sleep every night. * sniff, sniff*
Some uncreative chick that was just creative enough does. She is cashing my checks and now lives in my homes. Ugh!. FML.
LOL.
Chapter 11: "The Talk"
BELLA
.
.
The last two days of the school week with Edward were perfect. Alice's plan had worked. But better than that, I felt good in my own skin. My fight against fashion was quickly coming to an end. I had to admit to myself that the right outfit just made me feel more confident in myself. It wasn't long into the week when I looked up in the mirror one morning and I finally saw and inwardly felt in the beauty being, that Edward has always been telling me I was. The beauty I was convinced he was making up in order not to lose face amongst his brothers for having the ill-fated luck of being mated to the most plain looking human girl. I see now Edward always saw the potential that was there.
As for my feelings on the price tag that came with all of it, I have to say, the idea of being so well off still hasn't sunken in; and I really don't know if it ever really would. But it seems to have made Edward happy that I trying with Angela, and If I was honest with myself, it made me extremely happy that I could be so generous to her as well. She deserved it. And with that acknowledgment, I knew this battle was a losing one. It was only a matter of time before I surrendered.
Still, the new confidence in myself was a heady thing. But I secretly wish that I could turn down the attention it earned me, down a notch or two. There was no need for it to be so intense anymore. I made my point. I told the world without saying a word that I was happy, and moving in a positive direction with my life; and more importantly, that going back to Edward was the best decision for the both of us.
I accomplished everything I set out to do. As the week progressed. I could see the change in my Edward from class to class and day to day. His lips were no longer thin lines, fixed in a grimace, or the one I hated the most, a fixed vacant stare. The empty expression he used to hide when he was seeing something that was truly painful to him.
He smiled genuinely now and more often. He was more relaxed and increasingly playful with me. So playful in fact, we've been interrupting our classes all week. But Edward says that the teachers didn't really mind and that some were happy for us and our rekindled happiness.
But I liked our display of affection for a different reason; I liked it because it gave us a chance to display us as a couple, the real us.
We owed Alice and we owed her big. Edward said he had the perfect gift in mind and would be getting to her by the end of next week before we leave for Florida. Whether or not my father appreciated it.
After Alice's warning that Charlie was going to be an obstacle, Edward and I prepared ourselves for the discussion. We knew it was going to be difficult one, we expected that Charlie would be irritated, but in the end, would see reason, but we didn't even come close. Charlie went well beyond irritated, he was truly livid.
"NO, that's my answer, I said no," Charlie barked.
"Charlie, I want to go see my mother, my mother. I have a right to that don't I?"
"Bella, If you want to go see your mother, then go see her, but he stays here." Charlie sneered while staring angrily at Edward.
"Chief Swan, All I want to do is..." Edward said trying to interject.
"I don't give a damn about what you want, boy! I remember clearly the last time you wanted something and what that cost my family. I remember even if she doesn't or wants to pretend she doesn't" Charlie roared out at Edward.
I never saw my father take this tone with anyone before. But I wasn't about to back down to it, because Edward didn't deserve it, not anymore.
"Charlie!, don't speak to him that way. Edward has been nothing but respectful to you..."
"Respectful to me?! Have you lost your mind? Every day he has the nerve to stand next to you after what he did, is a clear sign of disrespect aimed directly at me. I would much rather he just spit in my face daily than date my daughter and pretend to be the kind, respectful boyfriend; instead of the light-footed flighty bastard, he really is. Does he even know what he did to you? Does he know about what he left behind? Does he even know what you went through?, or how close your mother and I came to... to...," Charlie took a moment to hide his pain, but soon found his anger once more. "No, to Hell with his respect. I don't want it or him anywhere near me, or you. So he can take his god damn respect, and get the HELL out of my house."
Edward jaw clenched then he looked to me. His eyes looked resign to Charlie's wishes, and I could tell that he was about to leave just as my father indirectly requested of him. But I wasn't having it. We would face this together.
"No!, he is staying right where he belongs. Next to me!" I sneered out. Stepping protectively in front of Edward, as I've seen him do for me a hundred times before.
"Bella, you should listen to your father... "
"Don't you dare tell my daughter what to do!" Charlie roared at Edward "You abandoned that right when you abandoned her and left her for dead in the middle of the god damn woods, you little shit."
I never heard Charlie swear in front of me like this before. But the fact that he just let loose like that just showed exactly how much he's been really holding back. He had more than he could stand, and the excess was spilling over.
Edward wore a mask of pain again. I don't know what Charlie as showing him, but It had to stop. We were done with that.
"Cut it out Charlie!, can't you see, that he was trying to be agreeable? Are you that blinded by rage that you can't even see what's right in front of you. Yes, Edward hurt me when he left you to know that, and yes he knows it too, believe me, he knows. But can't you see me as I am now? can't you tell how happy I've been since he came back to me? Can't you see the size of my smiles when I'm with him? Isn't that what you're supposed to want for me? For all those months, isn't that what you begged, prayed and wished to see again? Didn't you want to see me being happier than my wildest dreams? Didn't you want me active and moving about on my own and making plans for the future? Didn't you?"
"Yes, but..."
"But nothing, you have all of that now, all of it. Your pleas and wishes were answered, and I am happy dad, so very happy. So why are you so mad? You really think I don't know the same things you do? or do you really believe that I just pretended to overlook certain things or just plainly forget what had happened? Because I haven't Charlie. I know and remember. Yes, Edward left. Yes, it was painfully crushing both emotionally and mentally for me and you, yes he was the one who did that to us. But he was also the one who undid it Charlie, and you need to see that too. You just can't see one side of things anymore, because what you're also failing to see is that the one making me sad and miserable now, is you!" I stated sternly.
I reached back for Edward and clasped his hand tightly in my own. Charlie grimaced, but turn and took a seat in his chair. And stared straight ahead avoiding to look at any displays of my affection for Edward.
"Bella, I get it, I just...Bella can we just have a moment, alone?" Charlie asked, but I didn't like the way he sneered toward the end. I thought I made my case clear.
"No dad, where I am, that is where Edward will be, you need to realize that as well," I said meaningfully.
"Jesus Bella! do you even hear yourself? Bella, I need to talk to you and I don't want to do it in front of him. So please send your boyfriend away, so I can speak to my daughter."
I didn't want to be unruly but, I didn't want to back down from my previous statement either. But Edward, possibly sensing my need, stepped in.
"Don't worry I'll be right outside if you need me. Remember, I promised I will never be far from you again. But my presences right now isn't making this situation better, it is just causing things to head off into unintended directions."
I nodded, and allow him to peck my cheek and take a last look at Charlie stern face before he turned and exited the house.
Charlie sat and waited, but once he heard Edward get into his car and close the door, giving him the illusion of privacy. He began.
"Bella, I hear you I do, I just don't think that... Bella, I'm really worried about you. You shouldn't be so absorbed with him. I have eyes Bella, and I see how happy you think he makes you, I do. But I also think that closeness is just as dangerous."
"What? why?"
"Because Bella, he is your only source of happiness. It all revolves around him, and I saw what happened the last time he stepped out of your life. Bella...you're a strong girl, I know you are, but if that ever happens again...Bella, I don't think you would survive it, and worst than that Bella, I don't think you would even try to." He said softly.
I had no argument for his statement. It was true, how could I deny it. And if he knew the truth about the cliff, he would know exactly how right he was. So I just stared ahead into empty space.
"So, I want you to go see your mother, but just you and you alone. Not because I want to spite him, because I couldn't really care less if his feeling gets hurt. But because I want you to find time for yourself Bella. But more importantly, find another reason to be happy, and then another, and then another. Find reasons to stick around Bella if he ever decides to leave you again."
I nodded, but then quickly shook my head. Because as of right as he was, I knew he didn't or couldn't see the whole picture. He didn't know that I had several other sources of happiness to tap into other than Edward. I had Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and even Rosalie; I think. But If Edward were to ever leave me again, it would be because he died somehow, and if that was the case, I knew everyone who knew the whole truth about Edward and I, would know I would never be without him long.
And as easy as it would be to lie right now, and make plans to meet up in Florida with Edward I wasn't going to do it.
"I want to see my mother, but I also want Edward with me. Because as he promised never to be far from my side, I vowed in my own way to never be far from his. I want more than anything to explain to you why that is, but you're not going to understand no matter what I tell you, so I'm not even going to bother to try. Because as right as you are, your truth just doesn't apply to us. Because you and I live in two separate realities, and the laws that govern love, and relationships in mine are much different than yours." I explained coming as close to the truth as I dared.
As much as I wanted Charlie to understand at least that much, I could see he clearly didn't. Because Charlie sat up, stood and then stormed out without saying another word.
And that is where we left it four days ago.
But as I told Charlie last week, I would be an obedient daughter when I was wrong. But wanting to visit my mother and introduce her to my 'boyfriend' was not wrong. So all his reasoning for trying to deny my request be damned.
Charlie had his reason, but as good as they were, they were wrong; wrong for Edward and me anyway. But I knew the truth, and I didn't need Edward to see it for myself; my father despised Edward. He just couldn't find it in his heart to forgive Edward for leaving the way he did. But my educated guess is that what he really couldn't forgive Edward for was how helpless he felt when he tried to help me back then, and couldn't. And that is why I couldn't deny him his anger. So I just let him be.
Charlie would just have to work out some level of forgiveness over time. I hope he did it soon because we didn't have much time left.
In either case, it looks like the closer I got to Edward, the further Charlie and I grew apart.
It was gonna happen sooner or later, I thought to myself sadly.
With that thought, I walked out of my bathroom. Edward had left 30 minutes ago after he got a call from Jasper asking for help with something.
I got dressed, in the hopes that we could go out to the meadow today. It was a nice sunny day after all.
I wore a light grayish, light blue low rise slim fit boot cut jeans with light and dark washes. That was good for casual as well as dressy depending upon the top. I decided for casual today. I wore a quarter sleeve shirt with silver wrist bands and matching leather Converse sneakers. I put my hair in a messy bun and was on my way downstairs to breakfast. I was the epitome of Bella Swan today.
I didn't take a step into the kitchen before I was startled.
"Bella, glad you're up," A nervous voice called out.
"Oh…ah…Good morning dad. What are you doing here? I thought you would have been gone for the day already, what are the fish not biting?" I responded awkwardly. Because that is our relationship now, one big awkward mess.
"Maybe, but I've spent a lot of time with them already. But ah… if…if it is okay with you, how about we spend some time together today?" He asked nervously, He seemed unsure of what my response would be.
And of course, he would be. We haven't really been on the best terms lately. Sure I would keep the house clean and make sure that he had dinner and was taking care of himself, but the limited conversations we would normally have, became even more limited, even to the point of nonexistence. After my announcement of Edward's and my plan to go to Florida, Charlie and I have been walking on eggshells for the past couple of days now.
But my real concern was his request. Because I was sure it would be a bad Idea to let him try to build a father-daughter relationship now when the end was so close. Things would be so much simpler if we just slowly grew apart. I was even beginning to hope that would be the case. There would be no big search parties or investigations if Edward and I just disappeared. But more importantly, there would be much less of any pain at all in the event of my death, if we were already emotionally estranged one another.
But could I really tell him no, especially now? Because he never put this much effort into things. I could tell he was really trying to extend an olive branch.
Fine.
"Ah, sure dad, I really wasn't sure what I was going to do today anyway, so I guess I'm up for anything. What did you have in mind?"
"To be honest with you Bells, I kinda have an errand to run first and it's going to take up most of the day. But I thought we could do it together. We could go for a drive to Seattle; settle up some business, but after we get you some breakfast at the diner of course." He said nervously
He was really trying to be a father to his wayward daughter.
"Seattle? Ah… dad, that's at least two-hour drive, one way. I'll go, but if I'm honest; it kinda sounds like you're kidnapping me" I said jokingly. Trying my best to lighten the mood.
"Wouldn't dream of it kiddo." He replied with a smile.
Which made me feel a pang of guilt for what I was about to do next. But I had to do this, because even though Charlie was my father, but he wasn't the only man who loved me. And he needed to respect that.
"Sure, let me call Edward and let him know where I'm going first," I said walking backward away from him into the kitchen for some privacy.
He grumbled at that and looked away frustrated. But I chose to ignore it. I felt bad but felt no need to start what was going to be very long day alone with my father with an argument.
Charlie and I have never actually discussed in detail Edward's role in my life. Or his leaving, his return, but most importantly, my forgiveness of him. We just left that door closed, and marked it quarantined. There were just too many things on the other side of that door that I couldn't explain fully; and that someone like Charlie would never accept or understand. So why open it at all, if pain and confusion was going to be the only thing that would be gained?
I got my cell out of my pocket and dialed. Edward picked up in one ring as usual.
"Edward, my dad and I are headed to Seattle today. I just called to let you know, beloved," I said smiling into the phone.
Charlie really frowned at my pet name for Edward. He was looking truly bitter; I was starting to think I was going to get kidnapped.
"Love, don't worry. I already know."
Alice, of course.
"Good news is, Emmett, Jasper and I will be in Seattle as well. There is something Jasper wants to look into".
"It's a bright sunny day, Edward. Perfect for a drive, I guess. But, I was sure you guys would find some reason to go on your usual hike in the woods. But if you guys feel more like a drive today, then just be careful." I said, trying to be inconspicuous, but hoping he got what I was trying to tell him.
"And a drive is all that we would be doing. We will be behind tinted windows the whole time love, don't worry. Although it is sweet." Edward said, finishing with a chuckle.
"Well, Okay then, I'll leave you to it then. I'll speak to you later beloved. And please remember, that if I could, I would've spent the whole day with you. Because I love you, you know that right?"
"Of course Bella, just as I love you. But be safe ok, Jasper is worried about the situation in Seattle. Stay with your father at all times, okay Bella?" Edward replied
"I will do my best to stay out of trouble, I promise. I love you, gotta go."
And with that, I was ready.
"Okay, dad, all set."
"Great, now that Edward gave us his permission, we can be on our way." He stated curtly.
That assumption really grated on me.
"I told Edward what I was doing today, as any person in a healthy relationship would do. I didn't ask for his permission." I said trying not to be rude in return but was barely making it.
"Theater Bella, we both know who is in control of that so-called relationship, I ..," Charlie paused looking at my face that was growing angrier.
"Listen Bells, I don't want to start the day out like this. So let's just go. Come on Bella, let's get you something to eat." He said taking the edge out of his voice.
"Yeah, lets" But my words came out sharper than I intended.
It looks like we both were going to try to avoid the elephant in the room that his recent comments brought in. But I could already tell that this elephant wouldn't last the whole day. It was only a matter of time.
We hopped in the cruiser and headed to the diner, it was a quiet drive. The only noise came from the open window next to me. The breeze felt good coming through the car.
When we got to the Diner we ordered and began to eat. Charlie seemed pleased at the fact that I ordered a rather large portion of food to start the day.
"Whoa Bells, what brought this on?" He asked smiling at me.
"I lost a lot of weight, something someone of my size can't afford to do. I just decided to put all back where it belonged and then some." I said proudly.
"Good kid, I'm proud of ya. I have been seeing a steady weight increase for a while now. I would say you're about 1 pound away from your original weight. I really hated to think that you were secretly trying to be a supermodel and wasn't planning on telling me." He joked.
I giggled at that.
We ate our breakfast, paid the bill and were on our way to Seattle.
After about 40 minutes into our drive, I decided to break the silence.
"So, what are we going to do in Seattle Dad?"
"Well Bells, I was checking in on a missing person's case. On a kid that used to go to your High School a year before you came here. His name is Riley Biers, Good kid coming from good stock. But I don't know what kind of tricks they teach in Seattle, because from his parent and what the police described, he just one day upped and vanished."
Riley?... Yes, the kid Edward told me about.
"Well, I'm glad I could tag along." And I really meant it.
Most other fathers take their daughters to the mall. Mine planned on taking me to a city with an exponentially increasing murder rate, and look for one person in a city of millions in the hopes that it would bring a mother and father closer to closure.
"Me too Bella. Because watching what his parents are going thru, made me realize that I've been taking our time together for granted." He said as he reflected on those thoughts
"Yeah dad you're right, I will be going away to college soon, and we haven't really been speaking as we should."
"Yeah, I know kiddo, and I am partly to blame for all that. It's just...well, I just wanted you to just go away, see your mother and have some time to yourself; you know, away from everything here."
And everyone here
"I understand, I do. Dad, I simply wanted to introduce the man I love to the ones I love."
"I...I know Bella, I get that, but...Jesus Bella," He said then held his hand up in a way of a wordless apology. " Just… give me a moment with that okay?" He said frustrated.
"Sure dad, take all the time you need," I said with understanding. I will at least give him that much.
His moment lasted the rest of the way to Seattle and the entire trip to the police Dept. where he made his inquiries and came up empty-handed. Riley Biers had truly vanished.
Not only that, the Seattle P.D's wall of missing people, and murder victim's kept right on growing. Charlie and I watched as new pictures got put up, and saw husband, wives, fathers, and mothers coming in for updates on the missing loved ones.
Looking at all the dysfunction that surrounded us from the frustrated officers, and weeping loved ones. Then the angry relatives, slamming pictures down on the table rather than filling out another missing person description report. It was clear that this situation was not on its way to improving. Things were getting progressively worst, and then there was nothing the officials could say expect, 'we are looking into it', to the frustration to everyone involved.
Jasper may really be on to something here.
We overheard detectives complain about the lack of results and the number of opened cases, as they left.
Something was really off here.
"Come on Bells, let's let them get back to work," Charlie said to me but was warily watching the surroundings of a police department clearly on high alert.
I nodded at him. This scene was a far cry from what you see day to day in the small town of forks. Just looking at Charlie I saw the real reason he wanted to leave. I could see that if he stayed any longer he would never leave till he solved each and every case. He eyes were practically screaming it.
"You got what you needed?"
"Yeah…sure kid," Charlie said, barely pulling his eyes off all the action. "Come on Bells, let's get you home."
After getting some fast food, we were on the way back to Forks. It was 2 o'clock so we should be back by 4 or so.
"Bells thanks for putting up with me today, I know it was crazy seeing all that. But I do appreciate you spending time with your old man."
"Of course dad, don't worry about it. I enjoyed it believe it or not. I'm just upset that you won't be going back to the Biers with better news about their son."
"Yeah, me too kiddo." He said dismally.
We stay quiet for a few minutes till Charlie uncharacteristically broke the silence.
"Bells, before we get back, can we talk about your relationship?" he asked slowly and nervously.
And here it was, the real reason why he wanted me to tag along. But I was ready and was more than happy to approach the subject. Because I too wanted to get something cleared up.
"Yeah dad, I think that would be a good Idea," I said, giving him a small comforting smile trying to lighten the mood as much as possible.
"You do?" he asked surprised, looking at me suspiciously
"Yeah dad, no worries. I see it you know? I see how frustrated you get every time I mentioned Edward, or use any terms of endearment to describe him, and I don't want that. Dad, I just want the men in my life to get along."
"Bells that's… a tall order. I don't know...," He stopped and looked at me. "Let's just take baby steps ok?"
"Baby steps then, I'm okay with that," I said looking at him. His mouth seemed full of questions, he must have been dying to get them off his chest. Fine, let me see if I can help him with some of those.
"Go on dad, ask away"
He nodded but took a full minute before he began.
"Bella, You're a smart girl, always have been, you have made one smart choice after another, then he came along. At first, I thought you made another excellent selection, he looked like a good kid from a great family, but that was all for a show I suppose. Because he left you. He and his whole family just disappeared. And if that wasn't bad enough; he didn't even leave you a single way to get in contact with him. It was almost criminal. But what really got me upset Bella, is how he came back you're your life and how you just accepted him. Bella, you're too smart for that, way too smart. Which is why I just can't understand how you allowed him to wrap you around his finger?"
I heard this all before, no matter how many ways it was said, it all came down to why I took Edward back at all. And it always started out the same way. I would get a compliment, then a quick history lesson of some past event or accomplishment, then the guilt trip would start.
I nodded along most of his statement, but I couldn't help but smirk at the end of it.
"Something funny Bells," He asked looking at me confused.
"Yeah dad, something is funny alright," I told him. "It's funny because, only you, Jacob, Lauren Mallory, and Jessica Stanley, think that I'm some poor girl in need of sympathy because her boyfriend got her wrapped around his finger. But everyone else thinks the exact opposite. They think that I'm am the one that has him wrapped around my finger"
"They do?" He asked astonished by that fact.
"Yeah dad they do," I said giggling
"Well, what's the truth?"
"The truth is that we are equals in our relationship. We just let the world interpret us in whatever way they want. We are done trying to make them understand, and we are done defending ourselves to them. The people who get it will remain in our lives and the ones who don't can find their own way in this world." I said evenly, but firmly as well.
"So what you're really telling me is that you would've just cut me out then?" Charlie said warily
"I would never cut you out, you're my father. But, we wouldn't be as close."
"I see". He said glumly.
"Bells, can you tell me why you forgave him so easily?"
"I love him" I responded quickly and easily and without a single thought.
"Bells...,"
"Dad that is the first thing you need to understand. If you can grasp that, then everything else will fall in place. So your first goal is to understand me when I say; I, Isabella Marie Swan, am completely in love with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."
I looked at him and gave him time to let it all sink in. He didn't have to like it, because as a matter of fact, he didn't, at all. But he needed to accept it. After I felt satisfied that he grasped that much I proceeded.
"You asked me, how I forgave him so easily, and to that, I will have to say; I don't know what you're talking about. I forgave him, yes, but it was anything but easy."
Charlie looked at me with confusion and a new level of interest. And with that, I began.
"Dad, I need you to pay attention, you need to hear it all, so please listen to me. Then maybe you can understand why Edward left me the way he did, and why I was eventually able to forgive him."
He nodded slowly with understanding.
Because I knew Charlie will never leave Edward alone if he didn't understand. I needed to do this. Charlie is a cop and all the evidence for my misery and newly developed rebellious nature kept pointing to Edward. I had to give him some new evidence so he can re-examine his case against my beloved.
I waited for him to nodded, when he finally did I proceeded.
I took a breath.
"Dad, a day after my last birthday Carlisle got an offer from another hospital that he just couldn't refuse. It was a great opportunity for him to work with other great medical minds. If you know Carlisle as I do, you would know he is more of a scientist than a doctor. This opportunity gave him a chance to work on serious medical theories on certain biological functions that will cause to naturally fight off some of the most powerful diseases on its own. He could not pass it up. The opportunity to hold debates in the morning, researching the afternoon, and continue to debate into the night, was too much. Carlisle mind was practically made up even before he knew it himself. But his family knew that about him and was preparing for the move they knew would come, and that's where our trouble began".
Charlie nodded as he took the information in.
"Edward had to move with his family Dad. And I know what you're about to say, but neither he nor I believed in the stability of long distant relationships. But I would've tried for him dad, I loved him that much. But Edward didn't want me to live a futile existence. Even though we both loved one another with every fiber of our beings, he would not keep me tethered to a hope that we would be the exception to the rule. He said he would not watch what we had, die a slow painful death; as conversations about the things that interested us began to differ, and phone calls and emails lose their urgency, and frequency. As we slowly went from speaking daily, to twice a week, then once a month, till once in a blue moon."
I shook my head at the thought. It may have been a lie, but the thought behind a possible future of Edward and I slowly growing apart was painful. But I let that pain in order to make sure Charlie understood where I was coming from.
"To truly understand how painful that would've been to either of us, you would've had to been a participant in the relationship yourself. But I would've tried for him. But he decided to end it. He loved what he had that much, that he would not want to watch it die slow and painfully. He was stronger than I was in that regard."
"Bells..."
"Let me get it all out, please," I asked my father. I needed this out. He only needs to know a story that would make sense to him.
"So three days after he found out that his family was moving, Edward took me out for a walk into the wood behind our after school."
Charlie grimaced, and gripped the wheel tightly but didn't interrupt
"Edward walked me into the wood. Then he turned and looked at me and told me they were all leaving. And that it was time for us to break up anyway because I was no good for him. I was just a distraction, and he didn't love me. He told me I would find new love, someone more worthy of me. He told me in time it would be like he never existed at all".
Charlie was grunting heavily now.
"Damn it, Bella, I don't get how you let him so far back into your life. Especially after what he did. Bella, he left you for dead in those woods, for dead. And if it wasn't for Sam he would've succeeded. But I guess thanks to all that bullshit he spouted, we didn't get much beyond a corpse after you were found. He seemed to have destroyed almost everything that made you who you were with those words, Bella. But Bella maybe you should have listened to some of what he told you. Because he was right about you finding someone new, someone who worthy of you; because what he did was not love Bella, please tell me you see that?"
"Charlie, Edward didn't leave me for dead in the woods. We weren't that far from the house when we had our conversation. But when he was done talking, he ran off into the woods, and after I got over my delirium brought on by everything he just told me, I chased after him. But he was long gone, but I just kept running. I got myself lost in the woods."
"Don't, don't you dare put that on yourself. He left you out there, on your own. And if his actions weren't enough, why didn't you listen to his words, why didn't you just move on, why didn't ..."
"Because He lied! That's why Charlie. He lied."
"He lied? Do you really believe that?" Charlie asked incredulously
"Yes, Charlie I do. Edward wanted one of us to have a clean break; he wanted me to move on as fast as possible. He did what he did because he even wanted me to hate him so I can do the impossible which was to forget about him and move on to someone else. But doing all of that wouldn't have helped him forget about me, it wouldn't have helped him not remember me. It wouldn't have given him a clean break, and it wouldn't have made him hate me so that he could move on faster. So in order to ensure that I reached happiness as quickly as possible. So in an attempt to protect my happiness, Edward tried to be selfless and noble, and lied to me for my own good, and turned all the joys of his heart to ash; so that mine would one day flourish and be stronger than before."
Charlie looked like he was still in the fog, but now it was not as dense as before. He was beginning to see the shape of things now.
"That's the kind of person Edward is, dad. With him, it's always, always me first." I said smiling softly at that fact. Because that was the absolute truth.
"Dad, he was trying to protect me. He loves me, but I would've never have forgiven him If he just loved me. What he put me through was too painful for that. The only reason I forgave him was that I knew now what I should've known when he left, and that is that Edward cherishes me. He truly does." I said firmly as I could whilst still holding a soft smile.
Charlie looked at me with a new level of understanding. I can see the fog lift even more now.
"You almost didn't forgive him?" Charlie said taking a moment to reflect on that. "I am surprised to hear you say that, Bells."
"Dad, I am not the blind love-struck girl like everyone is trying to make me out to be, I do have a head on my shoulder you know," I said with a small smile.
He smiled at that.
I guess this was the crux of all Charlie's anguish, my supposed easy surrender to Edward.
"Dad, I did my share of yelling and screaming at Edward, and I made damn sure he knew of the pain and suffering he put us both through. But I did so in private. Because no matter how noble he thought his decision was, he was wrong! He took away my choice and made a choice for both of us, and we both suffered painfully for it. And in that respect, you are absolutely right to rebuke him. This is why neither of us gave you any grief for bemoaning his existence in my life. We were letting you and everyone else for that matter get over things at your own pace."
Charlie nodded at that.
"Thanks for that, I definitely needed time to understand why you did what you did. It just didn't seem like it was something my little girl would do."
"No problem. I know you and everyone wanted more, but we won't be disrespecting one another for the sake of appeasing the mob. What purpose would that serve but continue to separate us and keep us from what we wanted most; each other. We needed the holes in our chest close and the pain it caused gone. And making him or me beg would have prolonged all of that, and that is not what either of us wanted. So we took yours and everyone else's shame and ill will for that decision."
Charlie was looking shamed while he remembered the part he placed in everything I mentioned.
"But seriously dad. How could I not forgive him? He was willing to burn away all the joy in his life to make sure I kept my own. His only real crime was that he underestimated the love I had for him. But neither of us will make that mistake again dad."
Charlie was frowning but wore a mask of pain and remorse.
"I see. I have been really a jerk about a lot of things concerning him, haven't I"?
I nodded slowly. I was not trying to shame him, just make him understand.
"I'm sorry Bells. I thought I was in your corner fighting for you. I took the wrong side in this, and I'm sorry about that."
I gave have a small smile and nodded at him.
"You guys really had it hard didn't you?"
"Yeah. There was a time where it felt like it was just us against the world. But we had his family at our side, so that helped. It did give us tougher skin, and it made us realize who we should keep going forward and who we need to let go"
"You took on the whole town of skeptics to keep what mattered. I'm sorry you had to do that without me, but I'm proud of you Bella; of... both of you really. You guys handled things with more maturity than adults twice your age."
"Thank you. Edward and I really appreciate your kind words on this; it's nice to have you back in our corner." I smiled widely at him. Because it was, it really was.
"Hey, I'm sorry I ever left your corner kiddo. Even if I didn't even know I did." He said. Then added "Well, me being in your way is over right now. As of this moment, you are no longer grounded, and I guess that makes you are free to go to Edward as you please now; because it seems I had him all wrong. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I will just forget what he's done, and how badly he's capable of hurting because I can't bells, I just can't. But I can at least try to be a pillar of support for you, and do what I can to protect you in case the worst happens again. But as per Edward...I don't know what to do. I don't want just forgive and forget, too much has happened, he caused too much pain. So I guess...All I can do is just back off and see what happens. Because you're right Bells, he was wrong; but he was wrong for the right reasons. But you if you ever come home in pain again, he's immediately going to jail, got it?" Charlie joked.
"Thank you, dad," I said happily. But I was more than happy, I was ecstatic to the point of tears.
"Ah, no waterworks Bells, your old man can't take it." He said trying to hide his own happiness.
"Heh, no problem dad, tears of joy. Couldn't help myself".
"Yeah, I know the feeling." He smirked.
We were only 20 minutes outside of Forks now. So I decided to text Edward
B: Almost back in Forks beloved. Where are you?
E: Just leaving Seattle now, but you know how we drive. ; )
B: So I guess I'll see you in an hour then. *crossing fingers*
E: Wait for my love?
B: Do you even have to ask? I will always wait for you. Always.
E: No worries, I will never have you waiting long.
B: Good to know, but I have some great news. I'm off punishment and it seems that Charlie is well on his way to forgiving you as well.
E: Really? That's amazing Bella. I almost can't even believe it, and if it was coming from anyone else I probably wouldn't.
B: Aww, that's sweet. But maybe you should come with a peace offering none the less.
E: What does he need? A new fishing boat? A yacht? A cruise ship? What?
Ha, that idiot.
B: LOL. Stop being silly. Sentimental gifts are the way into a 'Swans' heart Edward. Remember that! Luv U VVM
I was holding my phone with pure joy plastered on my face. It must have been like a neon sign begging Charlie to ask the question.
"Bells, you and Edward...you're serious and I know that but...ah..what I'm trying to say is... have you two...um..well, how serious are you two right now?" He barely got out.
I blushed, but this was no time to be bashful. I'm a grown woman who is completely in love with the man that she is with, there is nothing to hide.
"We're very serious," I said
He eyes bulged out his head and I laughed.
"You, you mean, you and ...him...have, you know?" He asked nervously, wondering where and when did he lose his little girl.
I giggled and sat crossed legged in the passenger seat and I rested my elbow the armrest on the door, all the while staring nonchalantly at the passing scenery outside the window with a soft wistful smile on my face.
I spoke to him thoughtfully and with confidence in every word.
"We have not gotten that serious yet dad," I said, as he breathes a sigh of relief too soon. "But, we will dad. I will give myself to him because he will be my very first and my very last. Not every girl can say that with certainty no matter how hard they try. But I can, because I know the truth of what Edward and I share". I said continuing to smile to myself.
"And to think I just took you off punishment. ugh!" He said. His expression was one of frustration once more, but his tone was one of relief. I'm guessing he's just happy he still has his little girl.
If only for a little while longer.
[END CHAPTER]
Thoughts comments on this particular chapter. Please feel free to comment below. I was would love to hear what you have to say about my version of Bella. I wanted her tough when the times call for it. I find this Bella well balanced. Either case, let me know what you all think, I will be glad to answer any question you may have about anything that was written in this chapter.
Do you believe that Charlie was given enough evidence to get him off Edwards back?
Do you believe Bella came up with a convincing enough version of events?
What do you did you think of what she told him as the reason Edward left?