Things You Said When You Thought I Was Asleep
Jude was glad that Connor was spending the night. But it seemed like things between them might be getting back to "normal", which wasn't exactly what Jude was hoping for. He was pretty sure he was setting himself up to get really disappointed, but it's not like he really felt like he could stop himself.
"Connor? Are you awake?" Jude whispered. He had a million things running through his mind that he needed to say out loud. Hopefully to help organize his thoughts and just get a few things off his chest. He didn't need Connor to hear, mostly because the majority of what he needed to say was directed at Connor. That was why he asked. He needed to know if Connor fell asleep, to know if it was safe to sort of "speak his mind". Even though Connor was awake, he didn't respond, not that Jude knew that. He figured Connor was safely asleep and began talking.
"Connor, I've just been so confused ever since the camping trip. Like, I'm pretty sure that I like you, but you're just sending me so many mixed signals. You're dating Daria, but you held my pinky in the theater? I just don't know what to think. I know you're scared Connor, but can you please just decide what you want? Like pick Daria or me, Connor. I can't keep doing this. I just needed to say that out loud. Figure out what I'm feeling, you know? Anyway, goodnight Connor."
Connor wasn't sure if he believed his ears. Jude liked him! It's not as if this was really news to Connor, but now he knew for sure. And Jude was asking him to pick between him and Daria. As scared as Connor might be, he knew that the answer was obvious. It was Jude. It would always be Jude. But Jude said he was confused, that Connor kept sending him mixed signals. Connor didn't think he had been sending Jude mixed signals, but now it was clear he had to show Jude what he was really feeling, what he was really thinking.
"Tomorrow, though." Connor thought.