The silence stretched between Saix and Xemnas for a long moment before the Superior moved to the couch and sat himself, carefully adjusting his coat beneath him, gesturing vaguely for Saix to join him. Saix hesitated, then sat down again as well, dragging his clawed fingers through his blue hair.

"You look terrible. Worse than the last time I saw you, in fact." Xemnas poured himself a glass of water, leaning back on the couch with a soft sigh.

"Yes, well... I'm not sure how much you know about the situation-"

"Don't worry, I was told. Lexaeus may be the Silent Hero, but he's not stupid enough to keep details from me. Unlike Vexen, who did a lot of flailing and squeaking and attempting to place the blame on others." Xemnas sipped his water quietly. Saix regarded him, sitting straight, hands clenching and unclenching on his knees. He was tense... as if he was waiting for something. "Relax a little, Number VII... you're in no shape to go jumping around with an uttered word from me. I'm not telling you to do anything, and I'm not going to."

Saix visibly deflated, turning his golden eyes away, and Xemnas frowned slightly at him.

"You're acting out of place, Saix." He murmured, sitting up a little. "Almost like I've hurt you with those words. Like you have a heart..."

"Don't you remember... what it's like, Superior? Isn't that why we're trying to get our hearts back?" Saix turned his face farther away from Xemnas as he spoke, and the Superior's eyes widened in surprise at the words. He leaned forward and set his cup of water down, turning in his seat so he faced Saix' turned back.

Saix was trembling.

"All of the others... all of the fools, who prance about with personalities much the same, uncaring, seeming not to notice their lack of a heart. Demyx, always smiling... Xigbar, quick to laugh... Axel... Vexen..." The Luna Diviner's shoulders hunched. "They all remember. So do I."

When Xemnas put his hand on Saix' shoulder, the other man jerked it out from under his hand, shoulders still hunched. Xemnas pulled his hand away, still frowning.

Did he still remember? Of course... he could remember everything. How could he possibly forget what it was like? All of the rage, the anger, the fear, the sadness. He remembered the feeling of love, even. How could he... forget?

"It makes no difference whether I remember or not, Saix, I am not that person anymore." Xemnas said softly, Saix looking over his shoulder briefly, just a glance, before turning away once more. "We are not those people anymore."

"Why did you punish me this way?" The question caught him slightly offguard, and Xemnas sat back again, thinking over his answer. "Why force me to remain here, amongst the others, getting to know them and their ways on a more personal level, why force me to have more time than I needed to think such things over?! Why put me in this situation, testing my patience, my restraint?! What was the... point... "

Saix turned quickly to face him, face twisted. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, shaking his head. Xemnas regarded him, still frowning.

"That was the point, wasn't it? Testing my restraint?" Saix' voice was very quiet, and Xemnas looked at him for a long moment of silence before nodding. "Why? You've never asked me to restrain myself before, not for this long."

"Because I have a mission for you, Saix. I just wanted to be sure that you were the right one to do it. You have never let me down before, and the mission is an important one. It does, however, mean putting on a mask, putting up a charade. I need you to be calm, and approachable." Xemnas leaned forward again, shifting so he once more faced Saix. They stared at one another in silence again, then Saix raised one hand, trembling. Xemnas continued to stare at him, and soon the hand clenched into a shaking fist and lowered again, the other man's head hanging.

"... they made me fail the test, didn't they?" Saix whimpered, Xemnas throwing his head back and laughing. The sound startled Saix, who jumped ever so slightly and had to catch himself on the coffee table to keep from falling.

"No, Saix... no. They took advantage of you, but before the situation, you were doing very well. You resisted mauling Demyx when he ran into you in the hallway, you resisted beating Vexen and Xigbar into submission for having a laugh at your expense when Vexen made you sweep his lab, you resisted my proposition and you resisted the temptation that Zexion posed the same night. You were showing an incredible amount of restraint... They just proved how far they could push you before making you break." Xemnas chuckled a little more, shaking his head, and Saix stared at him in disbelief. "In fact, I was planning on coming to you yesterday and telling you what exactly was going on..."

"You should have done it before Demyx came into my room... what kept you?" Saix' voice had a hint of a growl to it, but Xemnas ignored it, just as he ignored the other male beginning to creep across the couch, closer to him.

"I was... entertaining a guest." Xemnas twitched an eyebrow when Saix' eyes glowed faintly at this, the Luna Diviner creeping ever closer.

"Axel?"

"If it was him, what would you do about it? In fact... it was him, and it was because you chose NOT to do anything that night."

Saix snarled, both hands reaching out towards Xemnas, stopping just before they touched him. Xemnas sat calmly, regarding him without emotion.

"So, you replaced me with HIM?"

"If that were the case," Xemnas said softly. "Would he be gone and you be here?"

"I'll kill him."

"No, you won't..." A hint of amusement had crept into Xemnas' voice, and Saix stopped restraining himself, seizing the man's coat and shaking him with another snarl. "Stop that, Number VII. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'll hurt YOU! And every bit of pain will be worth it..." Saix' eyes were glowing brightly now, but Xemnas hardly flinched, that small smile still touching his lips.

"As I said..." Xemnas murmured. "Some of us just can't differentiate..."

...........................................................................................................................................................................

Author's Note: I'll leave the rest to your imagination!

Legal stuff and other bits:

I don't own any of these characters. Nope!

My soundtrack? Cause yes, I have one for every story...

Black Water – Final Fantasy Advent Children
Xerxes' Tent- 300 OST
The Dumbing Down of Love- Frou Frou
Godsibb- Eri Itoh
Karma Slave- Splashdown

Thanks for reading!