AN
This chapter will cover multiple scenes from episodes 16, 17, and 18. Scenes will include an in depth overview of Ichiruki's thoughts as events happen. You might already know this, but this is going to be another angsty chapter. There might be angst for a while.
Disclaimer-I own nothing. If I did, Kubo wouldn't have such a bad case of blue-balls. I mean come on! Bleach has just about every other genre in it, why not romance. It would be the icing on the freaking cake!
Summary-Despite his best efforts, Rukia is taken back to the Soul Society for execution, leaving a hopeless Ichigo behind. Now he must learn to live in a world without Rukia.
What If?
Chapter 11-The End of his World
Rukia ran along the streets of Karakura, her mind in chaos and her heart breaking. After separating from Ichigo, it didn't take long for her to return to his house and do what she had to do. It wasn't as if she had things to pack for her return trip.
Sure there were things she might have liked to take with her, but she knew better. Like the Chappy keychain Ichigo had bought her one time, or the picture someone had taken of them at that wild Don Kanonji festival, or even the locket Ichigo had given to her the other day that was engraved I plus R. But those were all just material things that would have no place where she was going. All she was left with was her memories. They couldn't take those away from her.
They flashed through her mind like clockwork, as if they were being played back on a tape. 'Then give me that blade, Soul Reaper.' 'My name is Rukia. Rukia Kuchiki.'
Ichigo. At that moment, she'd been so surprised. He was so mature for his age, so brave and noble. The serious look in his eyes as he stared her down that night would always be imprinted in her mind.
'Hey, can I ask you something. Do you have a crush on Ichigo.' Rukia had to laugh at the memory of the blunt girl's question and her response of splattering juice all over the place. Boy had that one question thrown her for a loop? She'd never felt so out of her element before.
'I'll be sitting next to you from now on. My name is Rukia.' She smiled fondly at that memory. Her dandelion-head had freaked out and was only able to sputter nonsense words and embarrass himself even more. It was always fun to watch Ichigo make a fool out of himself.
'Tell me, how do I drink from this thing?' 'Uh... you gotta poke a hole in it. You just use the sharp end of your straw.' That was her first time really discovering how to use a real world object. It had been thrilling, entertaining and certainly rewarding. And she couldn't have done it without Ichigo.
'WAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAHAAAAHAAA!' Rukia had let loose her best Don Kanonji laugh to piss Ichigo off and prove him wrong. He'd said previously that the real reason she hadn't laughed in front of Keigo was because she wouldn't have been able to do it right. After she'd done it, Ichigo teased her mercilessly, causing Rukia to chase him all around the festival for revenge. That had broken the ice and she'd finally gotten him to enjoy himself a little bit more that night.
'My goodness! I better get you to the nurses office!' Humans were such fools. She'd never understood how none of them noticed that it was she indeed who'd attacked Ichigo. She liked to attribute that to her wonderful acting skills. It would have been easier on that dope if he'd just followed her like she told him to instead of giving her sass about it.
'That's all believable to me, ALONG WITH FLYING PIGS AND THE TOOTH FAIRY!' She didn't know what a tooth fairy was, but she didn't have to know in order to tell that he was mocking her. And speaking of pigs, Ichigo himself could be so pigheaded sometimes.
Rukia forced her memory reel to a screeching halt. She had to snap out of this reminiscence. She was leaving. These memories were nothing but a burden now.
Compassion, friendship and affection were all emotions she'd learned more about while here in the world of the living. All because of Ichigo. Ichigo. The word friendship brought another bitter memory to her mind. 'Ichigo and I are just friends. That's all there is to it.' Her own voice taunted her in its seemingly carefree cheeriness. Just friends. Right. Maybe if that were true she wouldn't be feeling this way.
All her jumbled, mixed-up feelings were nothing but a nuissance. They weren't necessary for a Soul Reaper and were unbecoming of her. What would her brother think? The thought shocked her to her very core, and brought with it a sinking realization. She'd been in this world far too long. Her hardened edge and steely heart had been melted away, leaving her feeling bare and vulnerable. She had to snap out of it and move on. For her own sake as well as Ichigo's.
"YES!"
That familiar, loud and boisterous voice caused Rukia to jerk to a surprised stop. All movement ceased as she stared up in horror.
"FINALLY GET IT! DON'T YA?"
Rukia's blood ran cold. It wasn't... it couldn't be... it was Renji.
"But you know, I really gotta hand it to ya. I'm very impressed! By skulking around so long here in this world, you actually managed to prolong what little life you have left. Rukia."
Her brain struggled to comprehind wat was happening here before her eyes. Renji was here, enraged and pointing his sword at her. He was addressing her in a sneering manner that she'd never heard before. She wasn't ashamed to say that it hurt. Was this really the same man from just 2 short months ago? Her childhood friend and protector growing up? What had happened to him?
"Renji... what in the world are you doing here?" She finally spoke her question, her voice unsure.
Before she knew it, Renji was lunging at her. She jumped aside with a yelp that was equal parts fear and surprise. He'd attacked her. Renji really had attacked her. That's when Rukia knew for sure that her situation was dire.
"So your telling me you had two hunters from the Soul Society lurking right behind you, but you were so lost in thought that you didn't even notice. Huh."
Rukia bit her lip so hard that she drew blood. He was still talking to her with that hateful tone. But he was right. Damn it, he was right!
"I'll grant you that you spent the last few months in that gigai, but still, don't you think you've grown just a little too lax?"
She remained silent, honestly having nothing to say. What could she possibly say? He already knew the answer anyway. He was just taunting her. And enjoying it! When had he grown quite so sadistic? Who knew a person could change so much in two months. But that was a hypocritical thought. After all, she'd changed.
Renji tightened his grip on his sword threateningly. "Spit it out. Rukia."
She grit her teeth together and forced her features into an unreadable mask. She wasn't that out of practice. How dare he order her around like that! He wasn't getting a damn thing out of her!
"So where is the human who took all of your powers away from you?"
Fear shot through Rukia, but she forced her expression to stay neutral. Her voice was steely as she gave her answer. "What are you talking about?" She took a brave step toward him, trying to get her point across and not act intimidated. "Just because I'm inside a Gigai right now, it doesn't mean I've lost any of my power. And anyway, why would you even think it was a human? Who took that power?"
"It was a human!"
The venom in Renji's voice caused her to flinch slightly.
"It's obvious. Just look at you. Otherwise you wouldn't have that stupid human expression on your face."
Rukia gasped. What did he mean? What expression? Disgust? That was all she was feeling with Renji right now. Fear? It couldn't be. Her poker face was impeccable. Then what then? She had no clue.
"Your a runt from the Rukon district like me. And yet you were taken in by the noble house of Kuchiki. They put a lot of time and money into making you the perfect Soul Reaper. One of the elite. Huh, am I wrong? Your the great Rukia Kuchiki, aren't you?! Gaping like some worthless human. What the hell is the matter with you? Right, Captain Kuchiki."
Rukia froze. Captain... Kuchiki... no! This didn't bode well for her or Ichigo. If anyone could find and kill him without so much as a hint of remorse, it was her brother.
"Byakuya... it's you, brother." Rukia's tongue felt heavy and her throat was dry. She could sass and stand up to Renji, but not the formidable man that was her brother. Just a look from him froze her very soul in trepidation.
He said only one word with disdain. "Rukia..."
That seemed to infuriate Renji, who sent another vicious attack her way. Rukia leaped into the air to avoid it, her hand tingling from a hasty shielding Bakudo she'd attempted to use.
"Passing your Soul Reaper powers to a human is a grave sin. Be glad the higher ups were compassionate and let us handle this, instead of the execution squad."
Be glad. Right. What should she be glad for? The twisted and wicked way she was now seeing her oldest friend? The chilling dismissal of her brother who never cared about her in the first place? If she'd had a say in it, she would have chosen the execution squad. At least then it would be impersonal and not quite so painful as the betrayal she was witnessing now. The men in her life always seemed to let her down in some way. Except Ichigo. Ichigo...
"Now. Tell us where this human is, Rukia. It's over. We're taking you in. And then we're going to find the human who stole your powers. And kill him. Don't even try to protect him. You know what just happened. The only reason you dodged my attacks is because I let you dodge them. The next move I make with this blade will be fatal."
Rukia felt hot rage course through her body. That pompous ass! She will never teel them where Ichigo is? No matter what they do to her, she won't put him in danger. This was her fate. Rukia stood firm, a grimace on her face as she faced Renji.
He advanced on her, his sword swinging back and forth as he tried to slice her. Rukia flipped over his head and landed with a thump. But before she could get her balance back he was coming at her again, and sent her tumbling away. She landed hard in her fighting stance, cradling her injured arm to her chest. She refused to be scared of him. Let him do his worse.
"This is it." Renji advanced toward her menacingly. Rukia refused to cower away.
And then Renji was pushed away from her. Was it Ichigo? Hope filled her then, and she hated herself. A million criticisms bubbled up in her throat. I thought I told you to stay safe, didn't you read my letter, are you a complete idiot! But it turned out to be the Quincy, Uryu. Rukia told herself she was glad. Ichigo didn't come after her, and was finally doing what she told him to do. But then why did her heart ache in disappointment?
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Ichigo yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly as he entered his room. He wasn't used to things being so quiet around here anymore. He was used to witty banter, snappy comebacks and being bossed around. Rukia sure had been gone a long time.
Ichigo knew that she oftentimes had insomnia and would then go out and either sit on his roof or take a walk through the town. But Rukia had never come home after their ice cream excursion, and that wasn't like her. He told himself not to worry. Rukia was smart, she could take care of herself. But that damn bad feeling just wouldn't go away.
There was no one around, but Ichigo needed to air his frustrations. He resorted to talking aloud, and sincerely hoped that nobody overheard him acting strange. ""When in the hell is Rukia planning on coming home tonight? I mean it's already 2 in the morning?" It took a lot to keep his voice lazy and uninterested. he had to keep reminding himself that Rukia was a night owl, she could take care of herself, she knew what she was doing. He tried to look on the bright side. "Oh well, it's not so bad. At least I can get a break from the Soul Reaper business tonight-"
He was interrupted by the sounds of Kon struggling. After he found and untied him, Ichigo tried to block the sound of his incessant babbling. And to think he'd complained about the peace and quiet just a moment ago. He'd wanted Rukia's company, not Kon's. Speaking of Kon, he was still babbling.
"Look it's not my fault. Rukia was the one who... Oh my gosh, that's right Ichigo! Rukia's in trouble!"
Ichigo zeroed in on the stuffed toy upon hearing her name, and his blood ran cold. What did he mean she was in trouble? What did he know? The mere thought enraged Ichigo, who took it out on Kon.
"Get out of my face!" He proceeded to punch Kon away and watch in satisfaction as he bounced off of objects.
Kon landed on the desk and immediately spotted a folded piece of paper. "Look at this right here! Are you telling me you've been home all this time and you didn't see this, pal?"
Ichigo grimaced. Damn toy was right. But he had his pride. "Yeah, so. What is it?"
"What's the matter with you. It's obviously a farewell note."
Ichigo's brain was moving at a sluggish pace. "Farewell note? So then what were you doing goofing off around in the bathroom? Shouldn't you've already hit the road?"
"WHA? OH ARE YOU EVEN AWAKE? I DIDN'T WRITE THE DAMN LETTER, RUKIA DID YOU FAT HEAD!"
Ichigo was stunned. What was he going on about now? That didn't make any sense? Rukia wouldn't do that? Right. Right!
"You see, Rukia... she's... she's left us. She's left us for good."
His stomach dropped. If that was true, it all made sense now. Her melancholic behavior, her sad eyes and the way she couldn't seem to look him in the eye. Rage filled him then, a rage fueled by denial. "What do you mean? She left without even telling me she was going?"
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP! HOW SHOULD I KNOW?" Kon began sniffling. "I was right here with her when she decided to go. She just up and left here without offering even the slightest explanation! Who the hell cares about you! RUKIA!" He broke down sobbing and blubbering.
Ichigo was both baffled and disappointed in himself. Kon had been right there with her. Why wasn't he? He had known Rukia was in a crappy mood, but had decided to go off and do his own thing anyway. Was that why she left? Was she feeling neglected? He picked up the letter. "Oh man, just what is this. Damn. Rukia, what the heck are you thinking?"
Kon stopped blubbering long enough to hop up beside Ichigo and take a better look at the letter. Ichigo began reading, his frustration mounting. "Enjoy decoding? Bfor bcer btain breasons, I bfear I must bgo?" His patience was thin and he didn't find this at all funny. Leave it to Rukia to find comedy in a serious situation?
"What the hell? Here's a hint." He looked down at the crude, unrecognizable drawing. "What the freak is this? Son of a... Why are there so many B's in this, and what's with the damn bunny?!" Ichigo forced himself to calm down and think. He wouldn't get anywhere if he let Rukia frustrate him to the point where his brain shut down. Even when she wasn't here in body, she still managed to grind his gears.
Ichigo studied the paper with a greater concentration, not willing to let paper-Rukia beat him. "Oh, I get it! Lose the bunnies!" Ichigo began scrapping at the paper furiously as he read it over again. "Let's see... For certain reasons, I must go. Do not look for me, and do not worry. After you read this, make sure that you burn it. And also, if you can, keep yourself hidden for a while."
And then time stopped. Ichigo gasped for air as if he were a drowning man. This made it all the more real? He knew of no one else who drew quite as attrociously as Rukia did, and it was definitely her elegant handwritting mixed in with the chaos. Has she lost her mind! 'don't look for me and don't worry.' That was an impossible thing to ask! Of course he would worry? And your damn right he would look for her? Her request be damned!
But it didn't make sense to him. Why? He needed to know why? Why did she volunteerily leave him? Was she unhappy in some way? Was there someone else? Ichigo voiced some of his frustrations out loud. It usually helped him to think. "I don't get it. I mean, she doesn't even give a reason for leaving."
"Don't you understand?!"
Kon's urgent voice snapped Ichigo out of his funk.
"Something must have happened. She said to burn the letter and keep ourselves hidden. What could be so terrible that got Rukia this worried about us?"
Ichigo felt like a major jerk. He was actually relieved that Kon was probably right. Something happened that caused Rukia to leave in a misguided attempt to protect them. So it wasn't because she was unhappy, or even really wanted to leave? It was because of obligation? But what could it be? What was Rukia afraid of? Besides the vacum cleaner and her Chappy crap being harmed.
Kon couldn't wait for an answer anymore and blurted it out. "Isn't it obvious? Something's happened between her and the Soul Society. Use your head a little. Rukia's in the middle of something and she doesn't want us involved. So she... she struck out on her own!"
The Soul Society. Up until now, that had been a forbidden topic with Rukia. She would reference it in her explanations of course, but whenever he asked her a direct question about her life there, she'd clam up. He'd usually drop it, since she'd been so understanding about the topic of his Mom. He'd figured he'd give her the same courtesy. But he never dreamed that it would scare her like this. Enough to run away and leave him.
No matter what she was involved in, Ichigo didn't care. He would help her if she only asked. Hell, he would help her even if she didn't ask! It probably had something to do with him anyway. Ichigo slumped. His fault. This was probably his fault. He got her in trouble with her superiors and now... what? What would they do to her? She'd once told him that she broke the law by transfering her powers to him. If the Soul Society was anything like here, she would go to jail. The thought sickened him. Rukia was a lot of things, but she wasn't a criminal.
"Poor Rukia! What if she's uh... dead?"
"That's enough!"
Ichigo was fuming. She was not dead! He refused to think such a repugnant thought. But was he just being naive? After all, Rukia came from a militaristic, feudal society. Just look at the way they dressed and used swords instead of guns. They probably didn't believe in jailing a criminal and then letting them go. It seemed more likely that they believed in fatal punishments like beheading...
Ichigo forced his thoughts under control. That was crazy! He was wasting time. He needed to think rationally and assess the situation. "We can't just go jumping to conclutions, okay. Let's just think for a minute. All of this yammering isn't gonna help us solve anything."
Ichigo tried to listen to his own advice. Here were the facts- Rukia was gone, she was in trouble with the Soul Society, and he was going after her. Simple as that. "Let's go, Kon. I'm changing into a Reaper and finding Rukia."
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Uryu was down. Rukia felt helpless, watching her classmate and new friend coughing up blood. He'd fought valliantly, and though he'd said it was because he hated Soul Reapers, Rukia suspected that he also did it out of the kindness of his heart. She could tell that like Ichigo, Uryu liked denying he even had one. But Rukia saw through both of them.
"Remember this as you depart this world. Renji Abarai, is the name of the man who killed you."
"Hold on!" Rukia leaped in front of Uryu protectively. She wouldn't let him be killed for trying to help her. Rukia watched in what felt like slow motion as Renji's blade descended towards her and Uryu.
And then it was thwarted. Rukia didn't dare look up. "So who in hell's name are you?" Renji raged.
Rukia was falling apart. No... please don't be...
"The name's Ichigo. I'm the one who's gonna beat your ass. How's it going?"
Rukia gasped in horror as her gaze finally found that of her boyfriend's. This was not good. Ichigo was in serious trouble! She was mortified. Sure, a tiny part of her was rejoicing that he cared about her enough to track her down and rescue her, but that part of her was being squashed by guilt and trepidation. No matter what happened, she just knew it wasn't going to be good.
Renji started attacking Ichigo and her breath caught in her throat. Ichigo wasn't ready for this. She had to stop this! Before she could do anything, his blood was flowing and pooling on the ground. "Ichigo!" she cried.
Rukia tried to run to his aid, but was halted by a hand on her ankle. She looked down into the pained gaze of the Quincy.
"Don't go," he rasped out.
Rukia's gaze softened. "Uryu." She wanted to go to Ichigo, but she couldn't bring herself to abandon Uryu. It wouldn't be fair to his sacrifice. So with an aching heart, Rukia stayed put, her eyes being the only things firmly attached to Ichigo.
"It's over. Very soon you'll be dead, and Rukia will get her powers back. And then, Rukia will go back to the Soul Society to die."
Ice shot through Ichigo's veins, keeping him immobile. No! He wouldn't let that happen. Nobody was going to lay a finger on his girlfriend!
"Man. You are as dumb as they come. Rukia came out here on her own just so you wouldn't have to get involved. You should've stayed put at home. But you had to come play the hero. Just what did you think you could accomplish here? Your not a Reaper, your a fake! There's no way you could hurt a real Soul Reaper. You couldn't even lay a scratch on one of us-"
Ichigo had had enough. He didn't need some asshole restating things he already knew. And he wasn't 'playing the hero.' These idiots were threatening 'his girlfriend', and by the looks of it his classmate as well. They both looked the worse for wear, so it was only natural that Ichigo return the favor. He didn't want to be a real Soul Reaper anyway. If this guy was anything to go on, they were arrogant, full of themselves and ruthless. Not to mention, heartless bastards.
Rukia had saved him, damn it! She didn't deserve to die for that. He didn't see what the big deal was. But he decided to wipe that self-satisfied look off that smug prick's face. "Sorry about that. I know you were in the middle of saying something. But you left yourself so wide open there, I just couldn't help myself. I apologize, why don't you continue. Were you saying something about a scratch?"
Rukia could tell from where she was standing that Renji was pissed. When he called out the name of his Zanpakuto, Rukia was frozen with real fear. Her feet were glued to the ground and as much as she wanted to run and shield Ichigo, her body wouldn't move. She couldn't even muster the strength to shout a warning.
Before she knew it Ichigo was falling, blood cascading all around. Now Ichigo knew that there was a difference in their strength and that he had no chance of winning. That had been her hope all along. Then Ichigo would retreat safely back to his home. But she knew that was a fantasy that would never happen. Ichigo was far too stubborn. She had to give him an opening somehow. 'Ichigo if you can still move, then save yourself. Run, please!' She begged him internally. She would do anything, risk anything if only she could save him once more.
Renji lunged at the fallen boy with a malicious glint in his eyes and Rukia could stay put no longer. "Run, Ichigo! Move!" Rukia jumped on Renji's back and grabbed his sword arm in a tight, restraining grip.
Ichigo watched wide-eyed as his girlfriend struggled with the large man and his heart clenched. He wanted to listen to her, but he couldn't. He wouldn't just leave her in the mercy of those bastards! Now if only he could move.
"What are you doing, Rukia? Let go of me! Are you trying to make things worse for yourself? Fool!"
Ichigo's blood boiled. How dare he threaten Rukia! She was so brave, facing down a man twice her size with a Zanpakuto that could do major damage with her bare hands. Ichigo both admired and hated that about her. He couldn't bare to see her be injured in any way. Not while he was around. She was still shouting for him to escape, struggling with the man for all she was worth.
"Ichigo, get out of here! Hurry! You've got to! GO! Get moving!"
The struggling pair ceased their movements when they saw Ichigo struggle to his feet, sword outstretched.
"But, but this can't be? You shouldn't have the strength left to move!" Renji sputtered.
Smugness filled Ichigo at Renji's bewilderment. Ichigo met Rukia's eyes. He tried to convey his feelings to her through his gaze. Relax, don't worry so much, just let me handle this. She seemed to understand his meaning and was trying to send her own message back. Renji, seeing her distraction, took the oppurtunity to throw her petite form from his back.
Ichigo had to bite back a growl. He could not tolerate Rukia being manhandled like that. It was uncalled for and barbaric. Ichigo felt the fire burning deep within his soul, and he vowed to tear this man to shreds. He felt his spiritual pressure spike with his resolve, and let it wash over him.
"I guess the only thing left for you to do is fight hard and die," Renji proclaimed.
Rukia felt the familiar feeling of frustration wash over her. Ichigo was clearly mobile enough to still challenge Renji, so why didn't he listen to her? Were his ears broken? How many times did she have to say it? "Run! You must save yourself! I'm begging you! Run!"
Rukia's impassioned plea cut Ichigo to the core. She'd never begged him for anything before. And yet he couldn't give her what she wanted. He wouldn't save himself. He was going to save her if it was the last thing he did! He hated that she sounded so desperate. As if she had no hope of them getting out of this alive. Well he wasn't giving up just yet. Ichigo's body trembled with equal parts rage, power and fatigue. He felt energy thrumming through his veins and was ready for anything.
"What's wrong? If you won't attack, then I will!"
Ichigo easily countered Renji's attack and soon had him on the defensive. He felt more powerful than ever before and his hopes of victory were growing with each strike and each step he forced Renji back. He would show them all that he was not to be taken lightly!
Rukia was in awe. Ichigo was actually overpowering Renji. It was incredible and inspiring. To think he'd only been a Soul Reaper for two months and was practically defeating the likes of Renji already! But Rukia was no fool. Even if Renji were somehow defeated, there was still the matter of her brother. And no trick Ichigo could pull out of his hat would stop his wrath. He was only prolonging the inevitable, and yet she couldn't look away.
When Byakuya turned in their direction, Rukia knew the end was near. She wanted to warn Ichigo in some way of what was about to happen, but it wasn't meant to be. She blinked and it was too late. Byakuya had made the first cut. Nobody really saw it coming, least of all Ichigo. Rukia could read his confusion from a mile away and her heart went out to him.
"Your slow. Even when you are falling."
"Brother, don't do it!"
Byakuya didn't even glance her way. She expected no less from the man who'd ignored her for 40 years straight. Her plea fell on deaf ears. Ichigo was stabbed once more.
Rukia's heart was breaking. No... Ichigo, please no! This couldn't be happening! Not her Ichigo! But it was. Ichigo's body fell to the ground with a dull thud that sounded final to her ears.
"Ichigo! No!" Rukia cried. She took off running toward him without a second thought. She could feel herself hyperventilating. She had to be near him now. One last time. She had to hold him in her arms and make it all better. He didn't deserve this! He didn't deserve her! He had his whole life to live!
"No, don't!" Renji shouted, and ran after her. He lifted her off her feet with a firm grip around her neck and slammed her against a pole.
Rukia kicked at him furiously with her dangling feet, feeling more helpless than ever. "Renji! Let go! Let me go!"
"What difference does it matter now, you fool! The kid's already dead!"
No! He's not dead! He's not... dead...
"Listen. If you so much as touch him, they'll add twenty years to your sentence. Besides Rukia, you'd only end up increasing your sins for someone who's died!"
Rukia couldn't help it. She began to cry. "I got him involved in all this. It's my fault that Ichigo's dead, so what the hell's wrong with me going to him!"
Byakuya approached the once again struggling pair. "So even if it would make your sentence harsher, you truly feel that you must help him? Is that what your saying to me?"
Rukia didn't hesitate. "I am, brother."
Ichigo wasn't dead. But he might as well be, for all the good he was able to do. His power had vanished and he was left virtually helpless, laying in a pool of his own blood on the concrete. He heard Rukia's anguished cries and his heart gave a painful wrench.
Everything within him rebeled at seeing Renji's harsh treatment of his girlfriend. Sure, she was a strong woman within, but she was also delicate and in her current form harmless. He could've simply wrapped his arms around her to restrict her movements, instead of gripping her neck and slamming her tiny body against a pole. It was unnecessary, cowardly treatment and Ichigo so wished he could move and knock the manners back into that guy.
Ichigo's soul shriveled a little bit more upon hearing Rukia's desperate pleas. Never, in his two months of knowing her, had he ever heard her sound quite so broken. The Rukia he knew and cherished would've kicked the guy in the balls by now or punched him in the nose. But now, she just hung there, tears rolling down her cheeks and a look of hopeless defeat on her face. How could she possibly think it was her fault? Oh, his poor Rukia...
He was touched that she wanted to be by his side so badly. He wanted her there too. He needed to hold her in his arms and assure himself she was okay. Just scoop her up, start running and never stop. He wanted to hide her away in his closet and never let her come out again. There was so many things he yearned to do. But first, he had to make his presence known. He couldn't bare to let her go on thinking he was dead any longer. He needed to see some light back in her eyes.
"I'd rather that you quit talking about me like I'm not even here. Got it."
"Ichi-" Rukia's breath caught in her throat. She was so relieved! Oh thank the Gods he was still alive!
"It looks like you won't be needing that arm."
Byakuya's cold declaration snapped her out of her daze. Rukia knew the time for games was over. She had to act now, and act right. It might hurt them both, but it would surely save his life. Urahara would probably come and save both Ichigo and Uryu. She had to get them out of here, the sooner the better. Rukia ran over and kicked Ichigo's arm.
He looked up at her, hurt written all over his face. "Rukia? What are you doing?"
His soft voice and confused, innocent eyes were almost her undoing, but Rukia remained firm. She had to lay it on thick and be convincing. Biting her tongue, she forced herself to verbally attack her love. Yes, she loved him. She knew it now, was more sure of it then ever, and that was why she had to do this. "You are just a human. You are just a lowly human, how dare you grab my brother like that! You BETTER LEARN YOUR PLACE!"
She forced herself to turn away from Ichigo. "We should leave here now, brother. The actions Ichigo just took have opened my eyes to the truth. I am ready now, take me back to the Soul Society. It is time that I atone for my sins."
Ichigo was in disbelief. He couldn't comprehind her words at all. How could her attitude just do a complete 360 like that! "You can't leave here now. I mean our work isn't finished." It was far from finished. He'd never had so much in common with a girl before Rukia. He was convinced that she was his soulmate, and he couldn't live without her. There was no way she wanted to return to her former home. She loved all the things about this world!
Ichigo finally realized that she was acting. Once again, she was trying to protect him. He hated it! He wanted to speak against her, but was afraid he would end up putting her in even more danger. In his weakened state, there was no way he could protect her, though he was loath to admit it. "Rukia..." Why did she always have to be the hero? She was always so noble. She needed to worry about herself for once! If that guy Renji's behavior was anything to go on, then his girlfriend wouldn't be treated properly once she was returned to the Soul Society. He heard something about prison, but he wasn't at all convinced that they wouldn't kill her in cold blood.
"I see no need to inflict a final blow upon him now. Leave him be, soon enough he'll die on his own." Rukia felt like vomiting but surpressed her strong distaste with her own words. She had to stick to the plan. "We should go now, brother." She turned and began walking slowly away.
The sound of her shoes on the concrete was mocking him. "Wait! Rukia! Stop! Look at me! Is this some kind of a joke? HEY!" He couldn't stand to be ignored by her. He knew that if she just looked in his eyes, he could get her to reconsider. He began struggling furiously with his weakened limbs, urging them to give him strength if only for a moment so he could rise up off the ground and see her face one more time.
"DON'T MOVE!" She spun around, her eyes lit like burning embers. "Take even one step. Or try to come after me. And I'll... I'lll..." Her breath hitched with a sob and Ichigo felt his spirit die. Her mask cracked for all the world to see, and yet she was unyielding in her decision. "I will never, ever forgive you!"
Her declaration hurt more than a thousand blades piercing his skin. And yet he knew it was hurting her too. She was so brave, braver than he would ever be.
Tear tracks were steadily making their way down her cheeks. "You are going to die. So why not stay put and live a few seconds longer." She turned away from him for the final time and began her slow march with resignation.
Ichigo couldn't tell if she really believed that, but the final look he'd gotten into her eyes wasn't a good sign. It was over. Rukia had given up and was urging him to do the same. If only to stop their pain. Struggling would only lead to more suffering. Yet he could not accept the reality of Rukia's retreating form. She couldn't leave him. She just couldn't!
An intimidating gateway opened in the sky, looking like a dark and foreboding abyss to his dazed and confused mind. Rukia was being herded in that direction by both her brother and the other guy, their pace steady and assured. There was no escape, no where for her to run. It was over.
Rukia chanced one last look back through the gates. The man she loved was huddled on the ground, bloodied, bruised and powerless as he looked up at her, his face twisted into an expression of great pain. 'This really is goodbye... Ichigo. Thank you for trying. I... I love you. I'm sorry.' The gates swallowed her up and disappeared.
Ichigo watched her last tear fall from the sky and land on his face. Her sorrow created a domino effect, and soon buckets of water were pouring down on Ichigo. There were no words for how he felt in that moment. Bereft. Hopeless. Alone. Cheated. Anguished.
He couldn't move. His body had gone numb with shock. He couldn't feel any physical pain, but his mental pain more than made up for it. His whole world was destroyed. "I was protected... Again. Rukia..."
Her name was but a sorrowful whisper on his lips. Just like his mother, she'd made the ultimate sacrifice and now was as good as dead. Why did the most important women in his life keep doing this to him? It was too much! He couldn't take it! Ichigo let his tears mingle with the raindrops on his face as he mercifully blacked out, with Rukia's name on his lips once more.
AN
Intense, huh? I've decided to break this chapter into two parts. It just got a little long and dragging for my tastes. Review please!