I was told to stay away from you but you found me...
There was no way I could ignore you...
You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me...
You were to much of a mystery to stay away from...
but
I should have stayed away from you...
You broke me into million pieces...
I hate that I love you
Chapter 11: the pain
Coma… the girl that once laughed if someone would ask her if she in pain… the one that loved movies with blood and pain… that girl was today in a coma…
"she will be okay right?" asked ruka as the doctor decided to stay quiet. "tell me doc, she will be alright.. she has to be alright" said ruka slightly demanding natsume put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him but ruka launched himself on the doctor.
"you have to make her GODDAMN ALRIGHT! WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT DOCTOR ARE YOU!" yelled ruka as he grabbed his collar, natsume and tono grabbed him and forced him to take his hands of the doctor.
"ruka, calm down!" yelled natsume as he grabbed him forcefully.
Mikan looked at him and then at the doctor. "if it's about money, I will pay the bills or the expensive operations… I will do whatever you say. Just please save her" said mikan as she begged the doctor she clutched the wall. The doctor looked at them in pity, what could he do? He wasn't a wizard. She was in a coma and only she could bring herself back.
"all you guys can do is pray for her, unfortunately I can't do anything… we will keep an eye on her heart monitor but we can't do more" said the doctor as narumi nodded and walked with the doctor to discuss this further.
Mikan slid down on the ground as she looked defeated. This is it, they lost… they lost hotaru and she wouldn't want to come back here, to the place that caused her pain.
There is a reason people go in coma… it gives them two options: one come back and face everything or two embrace the light and let the pain go away…
The same moment tsubasa came running towards them. he breathed heavily. "what the fuck happened?" asked tsubasa as he looked at them. he noticed mikan on the ground. "mikan, are you alright?" asked tsubasa as mikan shook her head and finally let the tears fall.
"she isn't going to make it, hotaru is in a coma and won't wake up" muttered mikan repeatedly. Ruka got enough and walked up to her and pulled her on her feats.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" yelled ruka, as natsume stepped forward to stop him, yet Mochu and Akira stopped him.
"wrong with me? wrong with ME? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT KILLED HER" yelled mikan harshly, yuu shook his head in defeat and looked at them with a pained expression. I can't do this any longer….
"she isn't fucking dead dammit!" yelled ruka as he pushed her against the wall, tsubasa shoved him hard, making him fall on the ground. ruka looked at him, yet tsubasa glared at him.
"what is your problem, you come here just now and already start fighting with me" sneered ruka at him as yuu and Koko held him back. Natsume walked up to them.
"stop it" demanded natsume, as tsubasa laughed sarcastically. "stop what? Mikan is right, it is his fault… hotaru might never wake up! Are you happy now?" asked tsubasa harshly as ruka couldn't find anything to say back to him. Tsubasa and mikan were right. He was the one who brought her in a coma.
"I-" tsubasa cut him off. "save it ruka" said tsubasa as he looked at mikan, she was crying like forever and no one was comforting her. Natsume, the one who liked her stood there looking at her face.
"you know… I thought I would never say this but all of you are a bunch of cowards" said tsubasa as he looked at each one of them, natsume glared at him.
"that's enough shadow" said natsume as tsubasa merely laughed it off. "who are you my mom?"
"tsubasa, shut up" said Mochu anger rising in him, Koko placed his hand on his shoulder to prevent him attacking tsubasa.
"what? Angry because I said the truth?" he was sick of it. sick of giving that 'accident' the fault.
"all you guys have done is make other people just as miserable as you all are" said tsubasa as mikan had stopped crying and looked at him with confusion in her eyes.
"ah, I bet mikan doesn't know the truth about you befriending her" said Tsubasa, he felt anger rise in him and everyone knew if he got angry he wouldn't shut up.
"what are you talking about?" asked mikan as his friends looked at him, natsume swore he could kill him right now.
"natsume didn't tell you?"
Lies ...
"stop it tsubasa..."
Lies...
"he was just playing with you and your innocent mind"
Please...
"SHUT THE FUCK UP TSUBASA" natsume yelled in rage as he punched tsubasa in his face, he stumbled backwards as mikan pushed natsume back, to avoid him attacking tsubasa again. Mikan felt tears come up. Everything was a lie, they were full of lies...
Let me believe in those lies...
"I knew I couldn't expect too much from you. We were never friends and never More than friends" said mikan softly as she gave him a hard look, natsume took a step forward.
"mikan-" mikan cut him off with a hand gesture. "no. I don't want to hear anything from anyone of you" .
"mikan please list-" she cut yuu of too. "no, I seriously don't want to hear anything... I mean it" said mikan dead serious as tsubasa looked at her. Was it right to tell her? I mean it was not like he played a part in it...
why did everything turn out like this? Was it okay for him to say that? He was angry, no he was furious... the reason hotaru was in the hospital was because of ruka and his actions.
Hotaru...
"I wouldn't let this happen" whispered tsubasa as he wiped the blood from his mouth and nose. he looked at ruka. "I wouldn't let her get hurt, I wouldn't let it come this far" said tsubasa as his words were directed at ruka. Mikan looked at tsubasa and ruka.
Natsume came forward and placed a hand on ruka's shoulder. "what the fuck are you talking" said natsume as he glared, mikan glared at him.
"I would not let hotaru be in this state, I would not let the person I love be in a fucking coma" hissed tsubasa as mikan gaped at him. He liked hotaru even though she was ruka's girlfriend?
It is always hard to choose between family and love...
"shadow drop it" said mucho as he looked at him. Tsubasa looked at them and felt hurt, betrayed. "we used to be friends". He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to say what was really on his mind for a long time.
The truth is always hard to take, yet it makes you realise that not everyone has a happy life and certainly not a happy ever after.
"it was not that accident that made everyone abandon us, it was the coward in us that made everyone leave us. But you know what? I am done with it" said tsubasa as he turned around and walked away. Mikan looked at them and then at tsubasa she walked after him.
He walked away leaving them behind with guilt and sadness. Mikan looked at Tsubasa's retreating figure and wanted to follow him but Natsume stopped her.
"where are you going?" asked natsume as she glared at him. "have you all looked at yourselves? I have never in my life seen such a messed up group of friends" said mikan harshly as natsume tightened his grip on her wrist.
"you know nothing about us" said natsume dangerously as mikan forcefully pulled her wrist loose. "to be honest I am glad I know nothing about you" sneered mikan as she walked away.
If the reality just could be like any other fairytale it would be so much easier...
"nii-san?" whispered aoi carefully as she walked slowly towards the stairs. She felt her legs shake and her mind had al lot of unanswered questions. Lately she had nightmares in which she was supposed to be dead.
Her brother was not her brother and mikan was not his girlfriend... she dreamed about the guy with the same eye colour as she has... crimson. She truly hated that colour it made her think about blood. It was true that she didn't look like her brother in anyway. He had a tan, she hadn't. He had green eyes and she had crimson eyes. He had red hair while she had raven coloured hair.
But did these differences didn't matter. She loved him like her brother... still she just wanted to know if dreams had reality in them...She needed to know if it was just her fantasy or something she forgot... she felt like she was forgetting things, if she was at a certain place she had this feeling of being here before.
Was that even possible?
She stopped in front of Rui's room. She didn't know if he was at home, but she just wanted comfort. Those dreams won't stop. Aoi slowly opened the door as it made a creaking sound. The room was pitch black, aoi placed her hand on the wall searching for the light.
As she found the light button she switched it on and walked in his room. "ah, he is not here" mumbled aoi disappointed. She looked around and smiled.
She loves her brother but sometimes he would get to over-protective. Like she was not allowed to hang out with younchi at his house nor with his family. She had to stay away from the other gang and she was not allowed to hang out with Younchi's gang.
But she loves her brother so she does what he says.
"he makes such a mess" she sighed and started cleaning his desk. She grabbed the box with shoes next his table and wanted to shove it under his bed. But a big box was in the way. She grabbed the box and pulled it out.
She looked at the box and looked around. "he did always say I must never come in his room... buuuuutttt he is not here" said aoi innocently as she opened the box.
She looked at the content and narrowed her eyes. "how in the world is that possible?".
Tsubasa sighed as she kicked a rock on the ground. He was sitting near the lake that was across the hospital. He couldn't stand being there with them. What changed? What made them like this? It was so hard to understand it all. On top of that... he turned mikan against natsume. Was that the right thing to do?
Mikan sat slowly next to him without facing him. She smiled as she looked at the lake. "you know I would understand if hotaru wouldn't wake up" said mikan softly as she looked with sad eyes to the shimmering lake.
"she got sick of it. To keep acting like nothing happened, she is vulnerable. Everybody things she is strong but in fact she is not" said tsubasa as he looked at his hands. He should have comforted her with these hands but he didn't.
"sometimes I wish I could turn back the time and make her mine but that would be selfish because I know she was and will be happy with only ruka by her side" mikan said nothing and kept listening to him.
"you wanted to know what happened right" said tsubasa as he looked at the lake and closed his eyes. He heard Mikan's soft yes.
"two people died because of us. We killed them".
Now the truth is out... who will you believe or rather what will you believe?
soo how did you like it? thanks for your kind reviews! r&r!