[A/N: Please note that there will be a song later in this chapter. I do not take any credit. The song is "Bloom" by The Paper Kites. If you want, you can listen to the song when it appears, but I have changed some of the lyrics.]
...
(John's perspective)
John had taken the whole day to plan out this date. He had to go to Sarah for help.
"My little boy's growing up," she had said when he asked, mocking a sit-com type of mom. "But I guess I'll have to help you." She sighed and rolled her eyes dramatically.
He told his mom everything, since to them, there was no need to have something to hide. So she knew about Paige and John dating. And it wasn't like Sarah was surprised. After all, she had seen them kiss.
John finally decided to do a picnic and a drive-in, but he would need the terminator for the second half. Sarah made the food and put it in the basket for him, and he lay out a blanket and put the basket on top. Then he went to talk to the terminator.
"I need you to help me set up a projector," John said.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because... I want to watch a movie."
"Why?" he insisted.
"Because that's what people do, okay? We watch movies for fun, with other people, in cars outside."
The terminator finally agreed and helped him make a home-made makeshift movie projector. John took a white sheet he found and hung it up on a rack he created. The terminator told him that all he would need to do was use a remote to turn the movie on, once he had put it in.
Then came the actual date part. As John was setting it up, he came across a purple flower. He'd heard that people bring flowers to dates, especially first ones. He figured one couldn't hurt. Why not? he
thought as he picked the flower and made his way inside.
John grew slightly nervous. But why was he nervous? He already knew Paige. Then he thought that, maybe, just a little, he was trying to impress her. He wanted to make her happy and show her that he could be... romantic. And while he hated that word, he wanted to be what it meant for Paige.
You're so sappy, he thought to himself.
He knocked on Paige's door, made sure she was ready, and gave her the flower. John had decided that, since he took all the time to plan this, he would try to remember all of her reactions. He noted that she smiled broadly in surprise and called it "sweet."
John led Paige to the picnic. John felt happy, and frankly, quite proud when she said she was smiling so much and called it awesome.
They started asking each other questions, mostly about their favorites, and John took the opportunity to mention movies.
Paige said her favorite used to be... those movies. The ones he was in. He thought for a split second, and thought that it didn't really matter. Without those movies, it would have been quite possible that he wouldn't have even met Paige. So he was thankful for them, at least slightly, and especially let it go when she said they weren't anymore.
John told Paige to close her eyes. He had the feeling that, when she kept opening her eyes, it was only to tease him. But he was only teasing her, walking in circles for a while. When she peeked again, he thought to just cover her eyes himself. He found this fun, especially with her curiosity.
He showed her the drive-in. She seemed really excited, and she said that she loved it. John opened the car door for her, and as he made his way around he noticed she was blushing, looking down, and smiling. I made her blush, he thought. Holy shit, I did that... and she wasn't even embarrassed. Awesome.
They started the movie, after revealing his trick of making her close her eyes. There was a bit of teasing, mostly by John. He had picked Jurassic Park, figuring it was something she would like.
As the movie played, John's thoughts drifted a bit. He was hoping, because of the movie, it would be a stupid excuse to get closer to Paige. Wanting to hold her hand, he drifted his right one towards hers. When he touched her hand she almost jumped out of the car.
John was worried. Was she okay? Did he do that to her?
He apologized, but she started blaming herself. This didn't make sense, and when he questioned if it was the movie, she began to blush furiously and stutter.
John asked if Paige was okay, which she always denied... he knew that. After pressing her, she mumbled something weird.
She asked if he was doing this just to make out with her. "What?" he had said in surprise. She began rambling, like she did when she was nervous, and he stopped her when he realized the issue. Paige was not ready to make out, which made sense by itself, but she had somehow gotten the impression that John was about to make out with her... or at least had the intentions of doing so.
He stuttered a bit over his words, trying to explain to her that it wasn't like that. Then he questioned: was she thinking this because she... thought about making out with John?
John knew that he didn't know if he wanted to make out with Paige. He was certainly attracted to her, and he liked her a lot, but he felt like he wasn't quite ready to.
He didn't feel too young – he'd heard of kids doing worse than making out at a much younger age. But he felt unprepared, and wondered if she was more experienced than him. Sure, she hadn't dated, but that didn't mean she hadn't done something like that necessarily. He also had no idea what the hell he would do.
So, after they talked and they both realized they didn't feel too young, they were both inexperienced, and they were both unsure and thus not ready, they decided to see how they would feel after they both turned fifteen. Which was only in about a month.
They also decided that John could still kiss Paige –just not French kissing. Then they resumed the date, and John had an excuse to pull Paige closer.
After the movie, John had an extra idea. He thought they could go look at the stars.
They went and lied down on the blanket, and John told Paige to look up until she saw the stars appear. He had done this before, when him and Sarah didn't really have anywhere to go but camping. He'd found out that, if they seemed not out, when you stared long enough the stars would come.
A shooting star went by, and Paige became adorably excited. He didn't really make a wish, but when she asked what it was, he made it up. So she went closer to him, and he put an arm out under her neck. He eventually ended up sort of cradling her head, and he subconsciously started playing with her hair. She seemed relaxed and happy.
John asked what she wished for. She said, after a bit of hesitation, that she wished John would always care about her.
He asked why. Why would she wish that? Was she scared of something?
She said it felt nice to be cared about, to feel like she mattered to someone. That the date gave that to her.
John found already that Paige loved the date. And after thinking, he decided to make it clear: she mattered to him a lot.
Then they got up when Paige was getting tired. John stood in front of Paige, telling her to take it in. She did, saying, "Our first date." John did something slightly bold, and began to lean towards Paige. Then, after confirming they were not making out, he kissed her and held her hands. She leaned in, and John felt happy and almost lightheaded. Her lips tasted nice, like some sort of lip balm.
"Is that... strawberry?" he joked, licking his lips.
"Um, no, I think it's raspberry," she replied.
"Nice," he noted, and they both smiled.
They went inside, hand in hand, and went to their respective rooms for the night after saying goodbye. Thankfully they didn't bump into Sarah to subject to her taunting.
Paige knocked at John's door as usual. He invited her in as usual. But this time she hesitated. "I..." she began. "It's... I feel weird now. Like, we're... dating now, I guess, and... I don't even know." She was blushing hard.
"Well... why do you feel weird now?" he asked.
"Um, I guess I kind of feel like... I don't wanna... be all sad, and needy, and annoying, since we're not really only friends anymore."
"Paige," John began, "it doesn't matter. You've done it before, and I care about you, so... it just doesn't matter. And it's not sad, it's not needy, it's not annoying. You're a person, you have fucking feelings, Paige. Who cares? Someone needs to be there for you, and I'm here and I want to be. So come in here and cry if you need to. Or don't. It doesn't matter." He took her hand.
Paige looked up at John. "Thank you," she mumbled, tears welling in her eyes. John invited her in and they slept on the ground, in their usual spot.
...
(Paige's perspective)
I was so grateful for John. He invited me in, and wanted to care for me when I was upset. And the way he looked at me during the date, with those caring, green eyes...
A few days rolled by, and I remembered that John said his birthday was on the twenty-eighth. I wanted to give him something awesome. The only problem was, I had nothing awesome to give him.
I had no money, nowhere to shop, and not quite enough knowledge of his tastes to be able to find something at a store. So I had to think of something to make him.
But I couldn't make shit. I could barely make a card if you gave me supplies, instructions, and another, crafty person's hands. So what the hell was I going to do?
I'd heard experiences were better than objects before. However, I had nothing to let him experience. I couldn't take him anywhere, and if I took him on a date, well... I'd probably mess it up, and I would end up feeling like I couldn't show him a fun time.
Suddenly a thought popped into my head. In movies and books I'd seen guys write songs for their girlfriends, and that was an experience, right? I'd sung before, quite a bit... some people considered me a decent singer. And while it made me nervous, and would require creativity, time to create it, and perhaps an instrument, I was excited at the thought of that. I could write John a song.
God, it seemed so fucking cheesy. But it also felt like the best option for me. And maybe he would actually like the cheesy, romantic song. Ugh... the "R" word again.
So it was decided, in my mind. I was going to write John a song. Jesus, I thought to myself, this is gonna be difficult.
...
(John's perspective)
John obviously knew that his birthday was coming around soon, and that meant two things: one, the day they decided they would possibly... make out, was closer, and two, Paige would probably try to impress him with something.
He thought he caught her doing something rather secretive in her room, involving lots of paper and a pencil. She then realized John was in the house and stopped whatever she was doing, tucking it away for later. He decided to leave it alone.
Later, on the twenty-eighth, he became slightly excited. More than he had been on previous birthdays. John knew it was pretty silly, but he wanted to see what Paige was doing. It was equal parts curiosity and excitement.
John woke up that day, greeted at the table with a nice breakfast and many "happy birthday" greetings.
After breakfast, Paige was practically jumping for joy with excitement. "I have something for you..." she hinted.
"Oh yeah?" John in mock surprise. "I wouldn't have noticed." He smirked.
"Would it be too early to give it to you now? Or can I show you? Can I, can I, can I?" Paige was mockingly acting like a four-year-old who wanted a new toy.
"Sure, if you don't think it's too early," John commented.
"Yeah, you're right," she teased. "I'll save it for later." Paige smirked at him.
Sarah made a few cupcakes, which everyone thanked her for. Naturally, John couldn't have real parties, since there would be too many people and they didn't need and couldn't afford many gifts. So he was used to things like this, expecting and wanting nothing more.
At the end of the day, after dinner, Paige invited John into her room. "Ready?" she said.
"Yep," he said. Paige sat down on a chair, and John plopped himself down on the end of her bed.
"Alright, this might seem really cheesy, or stupid, but..." Paige said, "I wrote you a song. It seems silly, I know, but I couldn't think of anything better. So... thoughts?"
John smiled. Paige wrote him a song. While it was cheesy, and a bit... romantic, she had done something really heartfelt for him."That's actually really cool, to be honest," John said. "I thought that was something that only happened in movies."
"Well, good luck thinking it's as good as anything in a movie..." she said, pulling out a guitar from under her bed.
"Is that my old guitar?" John asked.
"Um, yeah... I didn't have one, and I knew you did, so I kind of stole it and tuned it up. Is that okay?"
He shrugged. "At least someone's using it." She smiled in return.
"Okay, here it goes... And don't make fun, I'm actually really nervous." Paige was blushing slightly.
John smiled. "Don't be. I won't make fun. Go on."
Paige took in a breath and began to play the guitar. The sound was, in a weird way, slightly enchanting. John liked it.
Then Paige smiled and began to sing. "In the morning when I wake, and the sun is coming through, oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness, and you fill my head with you. Shall I write it in a letter? Shall I try to get it down? Oh, you fill my head with pieces of a song I can't get out. Can I be close to you? Ooh, ooh. Can I be close to you? Ooh, ooh.
"Can it go on 'til the morning, where the sky is painted gold, and the ground is filled with memories of the feelings never told? When the evening pulls the sun down, and the day is almost through, oh, the whole world it is sleeping, but my world is you. Can I be close to you? Ooh, ooh. Can I be close to you? Ooh, ooh." Paige began to hum a bit at this point with the tune. Then the words continued. "Can I be close to you? Ooh, ooh. Can I be close to you? Ooh, ooh. Can I be close to you? Ooh, ooh."
John was entranced at her song. If Paige had wanted to, she probably could have hypnotized him. As she sang, she looked down at the guitar, plucking the strings continuously. She was focused. But her voice still sounded wonderful to John, pretty and light. "Paige," he said, "that was amazing."
She took a deep breath. "Really? You liked it?"
"I loved it. It really described... us," he replied. "And I never knew you knew how to do that. Your voice was so... pretty."
Paige blushed. "Thanks," she said. "I'm really glad you like it. It was kinda the whole point. Happy birthday, John." She smiled widely at him.
"Thanks," John said, returning the wide smile.
...
(Paige's perspective)
Somehow or another I had pulled it off. I planned it, waiting until John was occupied to write and out of the house to practice. I had seen his guitar and decided to use that, thinking back to the lessons I'd taken a few years ago.
I was really proud of myself. But mostly, I was happy that John was happy.
My birthday was then in less than two weeks. I had never had particularly extravagant birthdays in the past, as others I knew had had. I was allowed to have small parties with a few friends. This year, I knew I would be okay and even pleased with next to nothing, and would expect so considering the circumstances.
A few days after John's birthday, I had the same, horrible nightmare. Off to John's room I went.
When I sat down next to him, we began to talk a bit. "I remember my last birthday," I reminisced. "My dad made me breakfast and stuck candles in my pancakes. And my family got me an instant camera. I took so many pictures with that thing." I thought a moment. "Now they're gone. All my pictures. My family..." Another thought popped into my head. I had no pictures of my family now. None. I even had the thought that, just possibly, I would forget what they looked like.
"Paige?" John asked. "Are you still in there?"
"John, what if I forget what my family looks like? I've heard of people whose relatives... died, and later they forgot what they looked like. I don't have any pictures. Oh god, I can't picture them right now, I'm forgetting –"
Tears were springing in my eyes and I began to speak quickly and with urgency. But John stopped me. "No, Paige, you're just upset. I'm sure you'll be able to remember when you calm down."
"What if I don't? What if I won't be able to recognize my parents, even if you showed me a picture? What if even the nightmares get their faces wrong? What if –?"
"Paige, calm down," John said, pulling me towards him. "Please."
My hands began to shake, and I couldn't help but sob. The worry, the fear, and the unknown were all getting to me. Every once in a while things like this happened, when the pain rose up in me again.
"I miss them so much," I said between sobs, hugging myself as John hugged me to control my shaking.
"I know," John said. "Paige, I'm so sorry." I sobbed for a while, and John stroked the back of my head as he held me close. Eventually the crying stopped, and I fell asleep in John's arms, exhausted from the tears.
...
(John's perspective)
John knew he now had to get Paige a gift. Then he scratched that thought, thinking that it sounded like a chore. He wanted to get Paige a gift, so he had to think of something.
Nothing came to mind. He couldn't buy her something, because he didn't have any money or knowledge of her tastes. At least not enough to get her something as significant as he wanted it to be.
A few nights after his birthday, Paige came to John's room again. She worked herself up, worrying that she would forget her family's faces since she had no pictures of them.
It pained John, whenever she came in and cried so hard like that. She was shaking, sobbing, miserable, and the only thing he could do was hold her close and try to calm her down. He stroked the back of her head and soon the sobs passed. Paige was asleep in John's arms, breathing deeply.
John relaxed from holding her so tightly and thought.
Suddenly the most brilliant idea he thought he could ever think of popped into his mind. He wanted to make her happy, and give her a nice gift, and calm her worries. If he could somehow get a picture of her family, that would solve all three things.
He knew Paige's mother used to be in the military. He also knew that, sometimes, there would be photos of military families taken, either for the sake of the family or to promote something or another. Maybe he could start there.
The next day, after school, John went to the library to use the computer. He did some research on Paige's family. What was her mom's name? John thought. Laura? Lauren? Yes, it was Lauren. He searched for her name, searched for anything associated with the military, searched for pictures, searched for something resembling Paige's face.
Nothing. Then he tried searching her maiden name. He remembered that it was Jones, and did some more research.
Finally he found something. Just what he was searching for. He saw four people, one of them Paige, in a picture.. Her mom was in uniform. They all looked nice, and resembled Paige a lot. John smiled.
He put the picture on a flash drive, which he brought in case this plan had somehow turned out as well as it did, and exited the library.
John couldn't pay to get the picture printed. But maybe he could print it at some office store without anyone noticing. He did still have his hacking device.
That's what he decided to do. He made his way into an office supply store, and tried to find a place where he the printers were. Eventually he spotted them. John waited until the worker who was sitting there took a break, which was after only about half an hour. Then he made his way to the computers that would work the printers, hacked into them –something very easy for him to do, at this point –and printed off the picture without a first glance in his direction.
John was very proud of himself, and excited to see Paige's reaction. The thought made him very excited. As he left, he saw something else, which he shoplifted after checking for cameras. He went home without anyone looking his way once.
...
(Paige's perspective)
My birthday came. Sarah made us breakfast, and later cupcakes, just as she had for John. She asked me earlier that week what my favorite color was, so they had yellow icing. We thanked her for the cupcakes, and she gave me a kiss on the forehead.
Later, John told me he had something for me. I smiled with excitement. "Come on," he said. He led me into his room and sat me on the end of the bed. Then he pulled out a box from his closet and handed it to me. "Go ahead, open it," he said with a smile. He sat down next to me. I pulled off the lid. There were two things wrapped up in newspaper. "Open up the small one first," he said.
"Okay," I said, giving him a smile. I unwrapped it, and there was a small leather bracelet. It was three leather strands braided together, with yellow ties on the ends that also weaved through the rest of the bracelet.
"I made it," John said. "I stole some supplies, and had to ask my mom how to braid, but... yeah."
"John, it's beautiful. You used my favorite color. That's so sweet." I was grinning and happy. That by itself would've been enough, but there was something else wrapped in newspaper. It was larger and square.
I unwrapped it and saw the corner of a picture frame, and then, a photo of my family. It was one we took one year because the military offered getting it taken for free to my mom if they could use it to promote something.
Now I wouldn't forget their faces. John somehow got this picture for me and framed it, all because of the thing I worried about a few days ago that made me cry. He wanted to make make me feel better. He wanted to ease my worries.
Suddenly I saw drops fall onto the frame, and I realized they were my tears. Thankfully there was glass protecting it. "John, I..." I said, smiling and crying from happiness. There was also relief in seeing my family's faces. I put the picture down next to me and wrapped my arms around John. He seemed surprised at first, but then he hugged me back, laughing slightly. "Thank you, thank you. This is the best thing anyone's ever given me. Thank you."
I was so grateful, so happy. "You're welcome," John said. "Happy birthday."
"Thank you," I repeated, lightly laughing. I pulled away from him, and he let me go. I picked the picture back up, wiping my eyes on my hand. I wiped the glass off, stared at it for a minute, and placed it on my nightstand. Then I took the bracelet and tried to tie it to my left hand.
"Here," John said, and he tied it around my wrist. "Maybe I could get one of those metal things for the ends."
"You won't have to," I said, "because I'm not taking it off." I smiled widely at him, and he returned the smile, taking my hands in his.
...
(John's perspective)
John rushed home, excited. He'd found leather and yellow thread, and thought it would be fun to make a bracelet. Once he got home, he put the picture in an old frame he had, dusted it off, and wrapped it in newspaper. Then he cut the leather and had his mom teach him to braid it. He tied the ends and wrapped the bracelet too.
He saw Paige's amazing smile spread across her face when she opened the bracelet. She called it beautiful and sweet. Just wait till you see the next thing, he thought to himself.
Then John watched her open the picture. Paige's face began with curiosity, then it slowly became full of thought when she saw what the picture itself was of. She looked pained for only a moment, and then relieved. She began to cry, and tears dropped onto the picture frame. "John, I..." she began, and she was smiling very widely. Suddenly she put down the picture and wrapped her arms around him, thanking him over and over.
Paige called it the best gift she'd ever gotten. John hugged her back and told her happy birthday. Then she grabbed the bracelet and tried to put it on. He put it on for her, and when he offered to get a metal clasp, she only said that it wouldn't matter because she would never take it off.
John was so happy. He knew Paige was happy. He took her hands in his, and they smiled. Then he thought for a moment. He remembered that this was the day that, on the day of their first date a month or so ago, they would see how they felt about making out.
Before he reminded her of it, he said, "Listen, Paige, do you wanna go out tomorrow? Well, not out, but on a date?"
She smiled more. "Always."
"Okay... good. And one more thing. Do you remember... what we talked about in the car, on our first date?"
Paige thought for a second. "Yeah," she said. "I guess it has been a month." She grinned. "Eager, are ya?"
"Well, no... I mean, not necessarily, I just thought of it." John's face was slightly flushed.
"I'm just messing with you," Paige said. "And... well, how do you feel about it, exactly?"
"Um, I think... I think I'm ready. But if you're not, I won't make you, I promise."
"Well, you might not have to. I... think I'm ready, too. But not this moment. When the time's right, you know?"
"Yeah. That's kinda why I wanted to do the date, so that maybe we could... I don't know, have a nice time before we go macking on each other."
Paige laughed. "I agree. It's funny, we keep acting like it's so serious, but it's kind of the opposite type of thing."
"Well at least we're on the same page. But I agree, too. We should have fun with it."
"Absolutely," she said, smirking.
"So, how's seven tomorrow sound?" John proposed. "I'm thinking dinner."
"Alright," she said. "Who's cooking?"
"Hm... I don't know, me?"
Paige scoffed lightly. "You can cook?"
"A little of this, a little of that," John replied in a slightly cocky tone. "But really, I only really know how to cook Mexican. So how's Mexican sound?"
Paige laughed. "Perfect. See you at seven. And thank you, so much."
John grinned. "My pleasure."
The next evening, John told his mom that they would be eating alone at seven. She didn't object. So he made some food, set the table, and even found and lit a candle. He smirked at his own cheesiness.
Then John went to Paige's door. "Ready?" he asked.
"Ready," she responded, grinning.
...
(Paige's perspective)
John brought up the making out thing. I felt like I was ready. He did too, apparently. But only when the moment was right.
I was actually looking forward to that moment, even though it made me nervous. Hopefully it would be on the date he planned.
That evening, John came to my door. He led me into the kitchen, where there was dinner and a candle all set up. I smiled. This was awfully romantic... but I was starting to like that word more and more. At least, whenever it came to things that happened with John.
We sat down and ate, talking about various interests. Eventually music came up.
"I like anything," I said.
"Anything?" John asked.
"Well, not anything, but most things. But I will absolutely not tolerate any country."
"Yuck, me neither," he said. I laughed. "I like most stuff too, I guess. Most people do. But what do you actually listen to?"
"Well, I like rock mostly. Alternative rock, hard rock, classic rock, and a bit of punk. In that order, I think. You?"
"I'd have to say the same," John said. Not in that order, though. Hard rock, then alternative, then classic, and a bit of punk." I smiled.
"That's awesome," I said. By then, we'd finished our food. "And so was this, by the way. I was wrong, you can cook."
"Thanks," John said. "Look, you wanna go listen to some music? I've got a kind of crappy MP3 player and some earphones."
"Sure," I said. We got up and went into his room, where he dug up the MP3 player. "Is it stolen?" I asked.
"No, actually, a gift. For once." He scoffed. Then he turned it on and handed me an earphone. "Here."
I took it and put it in my ear. He played a Foo Fighters song. "I love this song," I said.
John smiled at me. He seemed to have thought of something. "Wanna dance?"
"What?" I said. "I... can't really dance."
"No, like... slow dancing," he said. "You know."
"Um, it's kind of a fast song. And you really want to?"
He nodded. "It's not like there's a crowd. And you can slow dance to anything. I think." He smiled lightly.
"Well... okay," I agreed. "What do I do?" I smiled sheepishly.
"Here," he said, returning the awkward smile. He took my hands in his. "You put your hands here," he said, as he put my hands around his neck. "And I put my hands here." He put his hands on my waist. I tensed for a moment, then relaxed, enjoying the feeling. My stomach was doing somersaults. "Now we sorta sway, like this."
John began to rock from side to side slightly, and I followed. He smiled at me. I smiled back. "This is nice," I said.
"It is," he said. We did that for a while, even though it was a fast song. It felt weirdly romantic. Again. And I liked it. It was calming, yet fun anyways. Then I felt his fingers move slightly, and I jumped and took in a quick breath. "What?" he asked.
"Stop that, it tickles," I said, smiling and squirming a bit.
"Oh really? What tickles?" John said, a sly smile spreading across his face. "This?" He flexed his fingers on my sides, and I laughed.
"Yes, that!" I exclaimed, taking my earphone out.
"That's fun, it's like a laugh button," he said, the sly smile not fading as he took his earphone out and set down the MP3 player. Then he tickled me again, but more this time. I moved my hands off of his neck and grabbed his hands, laughing.
"Ah!" I exclaimed, laughing and trying to move his hands away. He mercilessly tickled my sides. "Oh my god, John, that tickles!"
"That's what makes it fun!" he said. I never actually told him to stop again, because honestly, it was pretty fun. I did, however, subconsciously back away from him. John followed me, tickling me still.
Then I fell onto his bed, and he fell next to me, not letting go. He was laughing along with me now. When I couldn't take anymore, I said, "Okay, stop, stop, stop!"
John released me as I let go of his hands. He put his head against his other hand, resting himself on his elbow. Then he looked down at me, still lying back on the bed. I turned onto my side and mirrored the position he was in. He looked into my eyes, and I looked back into his, getting lost in their greenness.
He reached over and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. "Paige," John said, his hand lingering on the side of my head, "I... I love you." His stare was deep in my eyes.
"I... I love you too," I said, staring just as deep back into John's eyes. I smiled, and so did he.
"And..." John said, his gaze dropping a bit every couple of seconds, "And... I think you're beautiful, Paige."
I dropped his gaze. "You don't have to..." I mumbled, my face growing red. "I'm not..."
"You're not what?" he said.
I dropped the hand that was holding up my head and lied on my back, sighing. "I'm just not..." I said, my voice low.
"Beautiful?" John asked. "Paige, as far as I'm concerned, you're fucking gorgeous." He wouldn't stop looking at me. God, why did he always need to look at me?
"You're just saying –"
"Stop that," he said.
"What?" I said defensively.
"That thing, where you bring yourself down. Where you make up a reason that someone wouldn't mean the nice things they're saying about you. The last person to talk bad about you should be yourself."
"I'm sorry..." I began.
"Stop that, too," he said. "You don't need to say you're sorry when there's nothing to say you're sorry for. You didn't hurt me, you hurt yourself."
"Why are you –?"
"Because you need to stop, you hear me?" John said, sitting up and hovering over me. He pointed a finger at me. "That's an order."
"An order?" I asked.
"Yes," he said. "No more unnecessary apologies, no more denying compliments, no more insulting yourself, and no more acting like you're not as fucking beautiful as you are. An order."
I blushed. "Yes, sir, I guess."
"Okay, now I'll say it again," John said, smiling and still hovering over me. "I think you're beautiful, Paige."
"Thank you," I said, rolling my eyes.
"That's more like it," he said, smiling. I smiled back. He looked into my eyes and then, sort of slowly, he began to lean down towards me. His lips were about to touch mine when he pulled back a bit and said, "Are... are you okay with this?"
I began to sit up, John sitting up along with me. We sat at the edge of the bed, facing each other. "Is this... are we gonna...?" I began.
"If you're okay with it, then... yeah," he said.
"I do want to, I just wanted to know, you know?"
"I know," John said. Then he leaned towards me again and cupped my cheek in his hand. He kissed me, and I closed my eyes. We kept kissing, more and more, as he took my hand with his other one. I squeezed it lightly, and continued to his him. Then I felt like I had to put my other hand somewhere, so I decided somewhere in my brain to put it on his chest.
My heart was beating quickly, wondering what would happen next. The feeling of him kissing me so deeply was amazing After a little while, his lips parted and I could feel his tongue gently push past my lips and try to enter my mouth. I pulled away. "Too fast?" he asked.
"I'm kind of scared," I said. "I don't know why, I just kinda feel like I won't... do it right."
"Listen," John said, "I've never done this before, but I guess I just know that... you're not gonna do it wrong. There's nothing to be afraid of, I promise. But if you wanna stop, I'll –"
"No," I said, "I wanna keep going, but... you'll be okay with it, if I do something wrong?"
"Unless you bite my tongue off, I'm sure it'll be fine," he joked. He leaned his forehead onto mine. "I promise, it'll be okay, trust me. But again, just tell me if you ever need to stop –"
"Okay," I said, leaning in and kissing him. We kept going, my hand on his chest, him cupping my face, and both of us holding hands.
After a bit, he pushed his tongue past my lips, and this time I slowly opened my mouth. His tongue entered my mouth, and our tongues swirled around each other a bit. It was kind of weird at first, but then I liked the feeling. We continued to kiss that way for a while. I could feel that John was acting dominant, just by the way he was kissing me. Not like I was complaining.
We, what I would now call it, made out for a while. Then he did something surprising. John's lips left mine and he began to kiss next to my lips, then onto my chin. I tried to find his lips again, feeling the urge to continue kissing. But he dodged me, smirking for a quick second then putting his lips on my jaw. I gasped, and he grinned against my jaw.
I took my hand off of his chest and grabbed his chin, trying to pull him back up to my lips. I wanted to kiss him back. He only took his hand off of my face and grabbed my hand, pulling it down and lacing his fingers with mine. He smirked and said, "Hold on, I wanna make you gasp again, it was cute," before he continued to kiss along my jawline. I laughed slightly at the sensation.
Along the side of my face he kept kissing me slowly, until he got close to my ear. Then he, very lightly, licked just underneath my ear. I couldn't help it, and I gasped again, chills rushing down my spine. John laughed this time. And while this was very enjoyable for me, I felt like it might have been going to fast. "John," I said quietly, and he stopped and looked at me.
"Yeah?" he said, lightly squeezing my hands, which were still in his.
"I hate to interrupt," I joked, smirking for a second, "but... do you think we should do this? I know it's just kissing, but..."
"Do you want to stop?" he asked. "We don't have to keep going if you don't want to." I did like how reassuring he was that I didn't have to do anything.
"See, I want to, but I just thought... I don't know, it might be too fast. We're only fifteen."
"Paige," John said, "if you're ready, and I'm ready, I'm sure it's okay. And I promise, the most I'll do is kiss you. I mean, was... was I going to far with the ear thing? Or any of that? You can tell me."
My face grew slightly red. "You're not..." I said, "going to kiss... anywhere below, like, my neck, are you?"
"Oh, no. It was just kinda fun, making you gasp like that." John smirked, the way he so often does when he's being cocky.
"Was it really?" I asked.
"It was," he replied. "You wanna try?" He turned the side of his face towards me.
I blushed, feeling like there was suddenly a spotlight on me. "Um... what if I...?"
"What, bite my face off?" John asked. "Trust me, nothing bad's gonna happen."
"Alright..." I said. Hesitantly, I began to kiss the side of his face. It was pretty fun, moving my lips on his warm skin. I heard John's breathing grow shallower. "You're right, this is kinda fun," I said. I kept kissing him, and his breaths were still growing shallow. "Someone's breathing quickly," I remarked in between kisses, smirking slightly..
"Oh yeah?" John asked, hiding his breathing. "I bet I can make you breathe quicker." One of his hands left mine, and he grabbed my chin and turned my face so that he could kiss me. He kissed me along the jaw just like before, and he reached my ear again. Then he licked once and twice, quickly and lightly. I squirmed slightly at the ticklish feeling, and my breathing was indeed quickening.
He reached my actual ear and, sort of unexpectedly, he lightly bit my earlobe. I gasped again, and he laughed against my ear, making goosebumps rise over my neck and shoulder. Then he playfully bit my ear a few more times before moving along.
He kissed my neck once, and something unexpected happened again. I, just barely, let a little moan escape from my mouth. I immediately clamped my hand over it, trying to hide the noise. John stopped and looked at me. "What was that?" he said, grinning.
"Nothing," I said, blushing hard.
"I don't think it was nothing," he said. "Or should I try again?" An evil smile crossed his lips.
"Um, I..." I began, but John already moved down to my neck again. He kissed it lightly, which did nothing yet. Then he kissed harder, which made me breathe shallower. His tongue lightly danced across my neck, which did, unfortunately, get an even quieter and slighter moan out of me. It was barely anything, more like a gasp with a bit of my voice attached, but he noticed.
"Did I just make you moan?" John said in a cocky tone. "I think I just made you moan." He grinned.
"Oh, shut up," I said, blushing hard again.
"I will, so I can make you moan again," he said. "I never thought I'd do that." He continued kissing my neck, and one of his hands went to my waist. I held his other one, and with my free hand I held onto his neck. He kissed me harder, surprisingly hard, but not hard enough that it hurt at all. He went as far as my collarbone, which he licked, eliciting another very small moan from me.
"I hate you," I joked, closing my eyes. He moved and kissed back up my neck, slowly, up to my ear, and back along my jaw, licking or lightly biting after every few kisses. "You're surprisingly good at this," I said.
"I'm just making it up as I go along, honestly," John replied between a kiss. Finally he reached my lips again, and we made out again for a while. I kissed around his face, getting over to his ear and doing the same light licking and biting. I repeated the process down his neck, copying what I liked on him. I even got one small moan, which he stopped from happening in the middle of it.
"Did you just moan?" I asked. "'Cause I think I just made you moan." I smirked and used the same cocky tone.
"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't," he joked. I continued to kiss him, liking the feeling of his warm, smooth skin. Then, after I made my way back to his lips, we kissed more.
Finally he said, "Maybe... we should... stop," speaking when we came up for air. John kissed me one more time, for about five seconds, before we both pulled away.
"Probably," I said, letting go of him and moving my hair out of my face.
John laughed. "That was... fun," he said.
"More than fun," I said, also laughing. "Um, thanks... for the date, and everything." I stood up.
John stood up next to me and took my hands, looking into my eyes. "Goodnight, Paige."
"Goodnight, John," I said. "... I love you." I looked up into his eyes.
"I love you too," he said. Then he gave me a light peck on the cheek, which made me smile.
...
[A/N: That was fun! If you have anything to say about this chapter, or any of them really, (concerns, questions, opinions, suggestions, comments), then review! It's not that hard. Also, in case you wanted to know, the song John played was "Everlong". And I might add a fanfic soundtrack link to the beginning, if I get to it. One or two for each chapter. Stay tuned!]