Okay so I updated but I haven't really been motivated lately so I haven't really been wanting to write so I kind of had to force myself to post this so I'm sorry if any of you don't like it or if there is any mistakes. This chapter is dedicated to layaboo I'm happy you love it.

Disclaimer: I do not own TVD

ENJOY!

-WINTER-

I watch the snow fall from my tree hut. I think of the past few months and how hard they have been. Bekah and Garrett called off there wedding. Nik only comes to see me when I ask him to. I stay away from everyone and in my own personal space. Lijah and I have been trying to keep our selves together but after what happened we can barley look at each other. He won't touch me unless or look at me sometimes. I told him about how it was my fault we lost our child and when I told him he walked out. I didn't see him for a few days after that. I don't think he blames me or anybody for it I think he blames himself. I try talking to him but he shuts me out. I feel so horrible when he does that.

I sit and watch the snow fall and think of how beautiful it looks falling. The ways if floats in the air. I wish I could lie right here. And not have to worry about anyone or anything around me. It's so peaceful. I sit there and think. Maybe One day my life will be like it was when I was ten, when all I cared about was Nik.

...

Sitting in front of the fire warming myself up after my walk back I hear Lijah behind me playing with his knife. I can't help but want to make him feel better. I get and up and walk over to him

"what are you doing?" I ask, He looks up at me and smiles

"Amusing myself." He replays taking a sharp swipe against the rock with the knife. I smile at him and have this urge to wrap my arms around him because he gave me the first sincere smile in a long time. I slowly wrap my arms around him hoping he won't push me away.
"What are you doing?"

"I'm cold" I reply gripping tighter on him. He gives a shrug and gets to his feet.

"I'll throw another log on the fire." he says, walking over to the wood and grabs a log and throws it on the fire. I sit down in his chair and stare at him.

"Lijah" I whisper out water in my eyes.

"Caroline, I'm not ready to talk about this yet." He shouts at me making me jump up in my seat. I decide it's best not to say anything else and get up on my feet and walk over to our room. I give him one last look before I climb into the bed and wrap myself up in the fur. I lie there and wait for him to come to bed but he doesn't, he stays near the fire. For once I just want him to come and love me. But he refuses to. If this was before I told him it was my fault, he would of been thrilled to be in bed with me. But now I think when he sees me he wants to run. I finale begin to drift off.

...

When I wake up Lijah is no where to be found so I decide to go and make myself some breakfast. I get out of my bed and head over to the main room and I feel a smile grow across my lips as my eyes fall on Nik sitting in Elijah's chair. I walk over and sit down in my normal seat and smile at him.

"Good morning love." He says smiling at me. I return his smile and take a piece of bread from him and stuff it in my face.

"Good morning. So tell about all the stuff I've been missing." I say with a mouth full of break. He raises his eyebrows at me and then shrugs his shoulders.

"As you command queen Caroline."

He tells me how everything in the village is going. How he and Tatia have been doing which makes my want to puke. He says that he worries about her. That she runs off at odd times to go take care of Mary. She is probably sleeping around with other villagers is what I want to say to him but I keep my mouth shut. I won't tell Nik that though unless I know she really was. While hes talking I realize how much I have missed him. How much I have missed out friendship.

When I'm done eating his bread we walk over to the fire and I put my head on his shoulder and enjoy the smell of him. He wraps his arm around me and tucks my into his side. I miss this feeling, The feeling of love, comfort, caring. We watch the fire and just enjoy it. I miss him our friendship, how things use to be before all this. I have him tell me his hunting stories and any other ones he can think of. I tell him all about me and Lijah, how he avoids me and won't give me the time of day. Nik tells me he is just going through a lot and it will take time before his is his old self again.

"You know the old Elijah who is so dull and boring." He says smiling. I roll me eyes at him and shake my head. "Did you just roll your eyes at me love?" I roll my eyes at him again and begin to laugh. He grabs me rolls us over. He begins to tickle me and I start to cry from laughing so hard. I feel him tickling my back then me sides. I can' help it I grab onto him and flip us so I'm on top of him. I open my eyes when he finale stops. I look down and our faces our only and inch apart. I look from his lips to his eyes. I feel the tension, and I want to kiss him. To feel his lips on mine. I see him move closer and I know he wants to kiss me and I want to kiss him back but I know I can't. I quickly jump off him and help him up. "Sorry" he says as I help to him feet.

"It's fine, you didn't do anything." I say. 'But I wish I let you' I say to myself.

...

The next few days go by fast. I don't talk to Nik. Lijah seems to be warming up a little bit. I had seen Tatia for the first time, She game me one of her signature smirks and walked past me. I feel such hatred towards that woman. She just better be good to NIk, I could not bare to see him hurt. After the almost kiss he left and hasn't tried to talk to me. I had seen him once and we exchanged smiles then he took off with Tatia. Bekah has been trying to talk me into going with her to another village. Her, Mikael and Henrik were to go off and get some things the village was in need of. I told her I would think about it. I had thought about it to. Maybe it would be good to go and be around people who are not staring at me with pity. I use to pity people all the time, but now that I know how it feels I hate it.

"Caroline" I hear someone yell and I look up to Bekah running over to me. I smile at her as she runs over to me a grabs me hugging me. She is the first person to really touch me besides Nik. I miss the feeling of companion ship. "Are you ready to go?" I nod at her aa she takes my hand. She leads me to the horses. There are two horses, one a solid black, another brown with white spots I walk over to the Black one and stoke his hair. He pushes my cheek with his nose. I giggle and pet him between the eyes. Hes looking right at me and I feel my heart warm up.

"Caroline" I turn to see Mikael. I hate this man so much. "My daughter says you will be joining us?" I nod my head at him. "Well I would like to apologize for my behavior at your wedding." I feel my mouth drop at his words. 'Did he just apologize?' "I'm also sorry about your child that was a horrible loss." he says putting a hand on my shoulder. I force a small smile and nod

"thank you" I say, hoping he will take his hand off me.

"you can ride if I'm correct?" he ask me. I nod my head at him. "Rebecca will be riding with Henrik so you will ride with me. If you don't mind." I feel my body tense at his words. I don't want to be within five feet of this man and now I have to sit right up against him.

"That is fine, but why can't we saddle another horse?" I ask, hoping he will say we can.

"I don't wish to tire out all of my horses. These two are the strongest and will do better with the journey than they others." I nod my head. "The trip should last about tree or so weeks. The weather should warm up so we will not freeze. Ayanna said are best chance would be to leave with in the hour." he says. I look over and see Bekah already on her horse with Henrik. Henrik has a huge smile on his face like had just killed his first deer. Bekah looked to be amused but worried. I could tell her worry was for me. "shall we?" he says gesturing to the horse. I move to the side of the horse and feel his hands grab at my hips. I want to smack him for touching me but know if I do the consequences will be bad. I swing my legs onto the horse. I steady myself as he jumps on behind me. I sit with both my legs on the horses right side. I feel Mikael wraps his hands to the rings of the horse. I don't like this at all I already wish I decided not to go. If Lijah and Nik saw this they would probably start a fight with me being this close to him. I close my eyes and steady my breathing. Then were off.

AWKWARD horse ride. Thank you everyone who followed, Favorited and reviewed. I'm sorry again for the long wait and the crappy chapter. SPOILER: Next chapter we meet some old friends and we get some Mikael Caroline bonding? Thank you all again and don't forget to follow, favorite and review!