Ok so its been a long time sorry we moved and there was issues and loosing of docs and school and.. ok to many excuses here just to make it up to you here are two thats right TWO diffrent chapter 11's and YOU get to pick which will be the one that becomet he actual and gets continued the other shall be saved on back up and those who desire that if there are enough may mail me and i shall continue in that regard for their benefit but as for the major attention. that shall be desided ina vote.. so... VOTE.. Read and relax. Please review at your leisure if you desire the story to be continues. If you like this couple take a peak at my favs list I have a few awesome authors that I highly recommend for kag sess and if you like SM check out some Usagi mamoru fics! Laters!

Your humble serving author

Pearl Knight

SURVEY SAYS?????

 chap 11-1

Sesshomaru sighed heavily as he rubbed his temples he spent most of his time today in this damned office looking at this stupid work and not getting anywhere. His youkai was still stretched to the limit keeping a eye on his mischievous mate. His body kept screaming to keep her at his side distrust kept spilling over … what if she tried to run again? What if she left him once more? Kagome has become increasingly jumpy sense she heard the news if Sango and Miroku's departure.

"Kagome you've been back a full 2 weeks and you and Sesshomaru haven't fought once you two have been going great."

"Yes Kagome I don't believe there is anything to worry about. Sesshomaru seems to understand his limits as do you. We will only be gone 3months." Sango gave a soft smile of comfort and offered to leave Kirara with her for protection… she declined Sango would return to her home village now that Naraku was dead and Kagome was safe she could begin rebuilding. Miroku would return to the temple and visit his fathers grave undergo a cleansing … which he needs at this point… then go to help Sango…

"I understand" Kagome straightened her back and looked at them with false strength. Yes she was stronger but… Sesshomaru was a demon… a powerful youkai… a lord…she's scaring herself…

"We'll be back soon Lady Kagome and we will miss yo—"

"Don't even think about it."

"Of course not how could you think that!" …

"Anyway… travel safely Sango… take care of her Miroku…"

she had hugged her like should would die in her absence… my heart wrenched at that…does she think me so terrible…

Sesshomaru stood looking out his window at the meditating women that had stolen all his attention. She was wrapped in a blanket of her own power lightly tugging at the youkai he had attached to her so he could keep track of her… sense Sango's departure she and he had avoided each other. Painful for him yes but it was a necessity if he was to keep her safe… if he was to loose himself now he would hurt her greatly… he closed his eyes once more and turned his back to the window leaning against the wall.

"Your watching me a lot lately." He looked up startled and found the youkai was now attached to the stone she had sat on.

"Your avoiding me a lot lately…" Kagome let out a sigh and moved towards him. A mixture of anger and apprehension erupted into his aura.

"Well that's new." Kagome stopped advancing. "Sesshomaru what's wrong with you. I don't get it why cant you just… I don't know change its mind."

"Do you want that?" his golden eyes locked on her tinted red as he wrestled with himself. "Do you want me to go after some other would you like me to leave you? Is that why you left me here? You think you can just say change it?" Sesshomaru was before her in an instant his hands at either side of her pinning her to the wall. "It does not work that way and this Sesshomaru will not give lose what is his" Kagome felt a sort of romance in his words… then anger

"I'm not a possession Sesshomaru release me now." Her brown eyes flashed in anger. The red tints in his eyes darkened at her disobedience. She pressed her hands to his chest letting her power swell slightly in warning. His response was instant, he had her wrists in his hands and turned her back to him to avoid a well aimed blow should she some how magically get away. His lips brushed against her ear as his voice came out low and anger filled with warning but laced with desire.

"You belong to me now Kagome. I will never let you go. I will protect you."

"and who will protect me from you?" Kagome tried to still her heart for some reason her body was responding to him… Sesshomaru smiles lightly as the red receded originally hurt by her words but revitalized by the truth. It seems she feels more for him then he thought. He nuzzled her neck with a gentler, loving feel to it. Kagome shivered but struggled against him. At first Sesshomaru held her tighter angry at being denied but forced himself to release her.

"Perhaps returning was—"

"Don't Kagome." His voice didn't have its silky smooth sound to it… rather an angry forceful sadness… "You're getting hungry dress for dinner your still in your training garb." Sesshomaru left her in the room confused and frustrated.

"Who does he think he is…" her cheeks were dark in blush as she slowly left the room as well. Sesshomaru sat on his bed staring at the door. 'Who will protect me from you'? Am I so dangerous? His mind flashed the image of her pinned by him to the wall then turned pressed to him. 'It seems I may be… if I'm not more careful' Sesshomaru opened his door and was already feeling his youkai twist at her scent. He sighs and starts to walk down the hall her voice was flittering along the corridor and caressed his ears tenderly humming the haunting tune from her sleep. Fear spread through his veins like a wild fire but he remained calm as he entered the room. Kagome looked to him with surprise having a man enter without knocking was something she was used to, but Sesshomaru entering without knocking… that was new.



chap 11-2

That night Kagome spend much time telling her friends about what she had been doing and making sure Inuyasha heard from her own lips and clearly understood that now in her right mind she knew it was not his fault that he had done those things and he knew she meant her words. There was something so clearly different in Kagome that he barely knew her as the same person. Yet her normal characteristics were apparent enough to see the girl he had known and loved. She seemed older now level headed and held the poise of a woman. She held his wounds and soothed his mind the best she could and for the first time in so long he slept that night out in the woods of the southern lands. Just off Sesshomaru's borders. An old habit to protect himself from his brother's insane wrath…. Inuyasha watched them closely. His brother treated her so delicately and kept such a distance at the same time in the hopes of not scaring her away. He was trying to hard to understand her strange need for independence and it was ripping at his brothers youkai and sanity. Inuyasha could see that clearly. He wondered silently if she would be ok and yet at the same time he could feel the love and protective desires radiating off Sesshomaru. Why was everything so complicated? Inuyasha gazed at Kagome steadily

"Why did things become so dark in our lives?" everyone was silent at the hanyou's question. Inuyasha bowed to his brother respectively and promised to visit Kagome and their companions soon. His guilt was eating him away… If only Shippo could have been here to see his mother blossom into the beautiful women she was now… But he had fallen to the witch… he had taken that light out of her eyes… why had they become dark?

"Because I have darkened things…" he went to await Sesshomaru on the outskirts of his land… the guilt… he needed the pain to be rid of the guilt…

Kagome didn't find it to her liking that such things had happened in her absence. That night she had stopped Sesshomaru and made it very clear that he was in the wrong at first Sesshomaru had fallen to his demon he lounged at Kagome held her as if she was his position and commanded that she never speak to him in such a manor and stolen a kiss that was beyond innocent she attacked she escaped and Inuyasha stepped in. It awoke Sesshomaru to see Kagome and Inuyasha side by side protecting each other. That was not what he wanted. He didn't want her to fight him. He wanted her to love him. He didn't want to scare her… the red in his eyes had melted away in that moment and he turned his back to them with a soft apology. The pain Inuyasha went through should have been saved for the Miko that had done her evil. It was not the Hanyou's fault. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru still could not be in the same room together but both had become increasingly protective of her. It made things all the harder. Kagome had spent all this time training her self emotionally and physically she's stronger now and clearer. She didn't realize that she has been leaving Inuyasha in a state where he would go through a hell so similar to hers. But it wasn't his friends dieing it was him. Literally and figuratively Sesshomaru visited often killing him slowly hurting him and cursing him for the things he had done blaming Inuyasha for her inability to accept his youkai mating bond. But it wasn't as Sesshomaru had made it sound. He blamed Inuyasha for all his actions and it wasn't so, he was under the witches control and that Kagome could not blame him for.

Kagome sat at the vanity brushing her long ebony hair lost in thought her eyes were so much more glassy when she dipped into thought …a image Sesshomaru knows well thus his uncomfortable air as he saw her through her open doorway.

"Kagome?" she looked up slowly.

"Yes Sesshomaru-Sama?" Sesshomaru shifted at the suffix at the end of his name knowing well it would be hard to get her to be comfortable enough to drop it.

"Dinner is ready will you be joining us this evening?" Sango and Miroku peered over his shoulder with bright warming smiles. Kagome couldn't help but to beam back at them and nod happily.

"I would love to" Kagome stood with a slow grace that he had not seen in her before hand and as she walked she hummed. Sesshomaru shivered at the haunting tune but reveled in her voice.

This is how every night started and this is how every night ended. They were together yes but it was strained Kagome would try to get close to him but it just couldn't be every time she was alone with him his youkai would flare and it was mere moments before both the houshii and the taijiya were in their presence. Courting was harder then it sounded…

Kagome sat quietly in the garden. It wasn't easy to find Kagome while she sat among the roses her scent was so similar to theirs but somehow Sesshomaru found his way. She was so much calmer so still as he approached her days. She had been there days… and yet they had not progressed he was afraid of her. Afraid of the reaction his youkai had to her presence he—

"I can sense you there Sesshomaru please its rude to spy" he couldn't believe how keen her senses had become….

"This Sesshomaru—"

"Does not spy" she finished for him "this is the first night you have sought me out sense I have come" she turned and fixed dark sapphire eyes on him. They held a dreamy appearance that only one whom had been through what she had could have. "I wondered when it would be"

"I have warned you it would be … difficult for me.." she smiled warmly and such a simple action called him instantly to her side and there he stood so close to her she could feel his breath on her face.

"And so your trying to protect me from the big bad wolf?" Sesshomaru growled

"The big bad dog"

"my mistake" she giggled and it infected him a chuckle so foreign sounding erupted from his pale lips. Much to his surprise his youkai was soothed. He didn't feel the unbelievably strong urge to take her that would be normal of this state of affairs… instead he was eager to hear her giggle once more. And that was the first step towards a much stronger bond then any youkai he knew had ever managed. For the first time in Sesshomaru's life he felt warmth spreading in his chest no fear no doubt just… warmth. Chatting turned to talking, talking to joking and joking to playing. Sango smiled from the 3rd story window at them as they ran around a large white fountain in the shape of a inu youkai.

"maybe they can finally come to an agreement Miroku as long as his youkai can be content with this then Kagome can have her freedom and Sesshomaru as a whole can have his love…" Miroku wrapped his arms around his beloved and kissed her cheek with a smile before they disappeared down a hall towards their room.

"Sessho!" she called giggling happily. He held her back tightly against his chest tickling her but at the sound of her calling his name… something clicked… something pulled at his chest and forced his arms tighter something tightened his muscle and pressed her body firmly to his. Something forced a growl out of his lips and a shiver down his spine. This something stopped her beautiful giggles. "sessho?" she tested his name. when he tried to answer he couldn't move his lips the warmth gave way to fear. Youkai. Youkai. Nothing but a youkai…

"sesshomaru-sama your such a silly pup." His first step mother said "youkai cant love. I came to terms with that long ago when your father took me. And more importently youkais don't care for humans" she chuckled out "they are a good play toy good to take advantage of good to let out anger on perhaps sexual release of your frustrated but not love youkai simply cant" she knelt before him " and you Sesshomaru are nothing but a youkai. You will always hurt what you love you will never have the ability to form a true relationship no matter how man like you appear you are a ani—"

"MIHASHA" his fathers baritone voice rang in the hall.

He never saw that women again but her words haunt him now. The Hanyou couldn't be right his youkai wont take over … he wont let it! With a fierce growl Sesshomaru let her go she fell to the ground and looked up at him with wide blue eyes

"s-"

"Do not speak" she took a deep breath his eyes closed and felt his fear ebb at his fathers response to the filthy women "we are just as capable of loving Sesshomaru. Just as capable as humans." He had rested his hand on his shoulder then "I loved your mother Sesshomaru and you will love someone too human youkai or Hanyou it will not matter when your heart chooses and your youkai agrees believe son that it will be love for it shall be so" his father didn't like showing emotion but at the same time never neglected Sesshomarus development… he looked down a tthe startled Miko.

"Difficult..." before she could blink he was gone...

Thanks for reading hope you liked it give me your votes. neither chap 11 is done so more will be added once you tell me what you want If you like it let me know so I can continue the story. This story depends on you -- thanks!!! Bye-bye! IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOU MY DEAR READERS!!!

feels good to be back hope to hear from you!

Pearl Knight

oh.. i dont own inuyasha... at all... but the story is MINE lets keep it that way