Obviously I own nothing except Miss Thomas. The other themes and characters belong to the talented JK Rowling.
Chapter 11 – Hope
Katelyn smiled, at last she could say she knew the man sitting beside her. A man whose arms until just recently she had been completely wrapped up in.
Professor Severus Snape.
'May I tell you something Professor Snape' she said using his title as much out of respect as for his obvious discomfort at giving her such personal information. Katelyn hoped he would not be offended that she didn't use his newly offered name on this occasion but she feared angering him. Despite his previous kindness something told her this man was not one to be meddled with. He seemed unconcerned with her address but Katelyn supposed he could be rather good at hiding things 'Yes Miss Thomas, you may tell me anything you need to. We have a lot of work to do and I would like for us to be able to speak openly' he wasn't sure what she wanted to tell him or if he wanted to hear it however he wasn't going to search her thoughts to find the answers and risk any further damage – he would just have to do this the old fashioned way and wait for her to tell him what he needed to know.
'Sir, I have so many things to thank you for, for saving my life, attending to my injuries and looking after me. For now I just want to say … Severus is a wonderful name, thank you for sharing it with me'
Snape was stunned into complete silence. Surely she had to be mocking him? His expression hardened as he looked her up and down trying to surmise her intentions but finding that not only wasn't she making fun of him she was giving him the largest compliment he had ever received. 'Thanking me for sharing, this girl really has gone mad' his thoughts scattered and slowly regrouped themselves, still not coming up with a satisfactory answer.
Leaning forward slightly to make sure she was paying attention he spoke softly 'I would not like you to be misinformed Miss Thomas, there is much you do not know about me; I am not a good man by any stretch of the imagination' A dark look crossed his face when he remembered just how truly despicable he had been over the years. Shutting these thoughts away for the time being he softened his features as she was beginning to look very worried. 'I am not accustomed to having company, and spend my free time alone. I will attempt to help you as best as I can but you need to know I expect you to work at this problem with as much discipline as I know you always applied to your schoolwork' The prospect frightened Katelyn immensely as she did not want to disappoint him. Having no recollection of being at school at all she decided that all she could do was her best and she nodded for him to continue. 'Now my question to you is this, how should I address you?'
He watched her considering his question – would she realize why he asked this of her?
Staring stared past him for a moment she attempted to recall her friends and family but drew yet another complete blank other than a feeling of desperate sadness. They would know what she liked to be called 'so does he but he is just testing me' she thought becoming frustrated once again. There was no way around the fact she just didn't know – she would have to tell him so 'I am sorry Professor but I am afraid I don't know, I can't remember anything about my family' speaking the words seemed to break her resolve and tears filled her eyes; she turned from him wanting to hide her shame and willed herself not to cry. His suspicion confirmed he continued 'Come now, I'm sure in time we will reveal your lost memories but for now you can choose something that makes you comfortable' Avoiding meeting her eyes he removed a large handkerchief from his robes, it was pure white cloth with a tiny set of his initials embroidered in one corner, folding it into a smaller size he gently pressed it into her palm.
He had not intended to upset her but there were many questions that needed to be asked and he always understood that the vast majority would trigger this response. Despite the guilty feeling he got each time he purposely hurt her it was absolutely necessary to question her in this fashion to ascertain the extent of the damage and hopefully to notice when her own memories started to return. 'Thanks' she said in a tiny voice she could hardly believe belonged to her. Wiping away her tears she noticed just how soft the fabric was, it smelled sweet and fresh like sheets left to dry in the breeze. Playing with the edge of the dark quilt laying across her legs Katelyn thought hard about how her life would be if she couldn't ever remember how things were. It wasn't a life she thought she could live.
'You choose sir; I don't even know who I am anymore. I owe you my life, a debt I can never repay; the least I can do is let you deal with me on your own terms.' Sending her a sharp glance, making a mental note that perhaps this girl should have been sorted into Gryffindor with the heroics she was now attempting, he spoke firmly 'You don't owe me anything, it was my job to protect you at least in my own classroom. I may be a cold man but I would never let anyone die if it was within my power to save them'
Katelyn thought about the man seated next to her, his cold nature was obvious yet there was something so warm about him she couldn't understand how he could think so little of himself. Only a small few would protect somebody in distress that wasn't a loved one, let alone to try helping someone that had tried repeatedly to cause them harm. 'You know more about me than I do Sir, whatever you choose I will be comfortable with' A quick nod told her he was weighing his thoughts very seriously, was it really that hard to share this with her? Was there something terrible about her he didn't want to talk about?
'Merlin, what does she think I'm going to say?' he thought taking note of the peaky look that played upon her features. 'Miss Thomas, calm yourself and give me a moment to consider what you are asking me' Suddenly wanting nothing more than to curl up and go back to sleep he instead pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to pull himself together.