The Romancer Shadowstep
Episode Twelve: Farewell to Willypearl, Hello to Baby Doe
Adeiline the Undead crawled on her belly underneath the many rows of decorated chairs at Willypearl's wedding. Each wooden chair had been fitted with a white cloth skirt and a ribbon tied sprig of charming baby's breath. Adeiline sensed that the baby Zar'teaus wanted was nearby, but she couldn't find the child for some reason.
Once the Bishop began his lengthy speech over the Human couple, Alessandre the rouge leaned over and planted a warm kiss on his wife's neck. His chair creaked and Adeline lay flat on her stomach to keep from bumping her head. She heard the shadowpriestess Opalbane shudder.
"Al…" she whispered, but it came out a bit breathy, "This is not the time or place for that." He kissed her again, and left a little bite mark on her pale skin. Opalbane exhaled sharply. She couldn't hide her smile.
"No one is even looking at us." Alessandre whispered into his wife's ear and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Opalbane glanced around at the assembly. As the Maid of Honor at Willypearl's wedding, the shadowpriestess had a seat in the very front row. Unlike at her and Alessandre's wedding several months ago, a sea of Human, Dwarf and Gnome faces filled the clearing behind the groom's family land at Eastvale Logging Camp. Each solemn expression focused on the bride and groom, and not her scandalous Night Elf guests for once that day. Knight Elec Pontier's family bred paladin chargers for generations, and were highly reputable in Stormwind.
Adeiline giggled to herself over Alessandre's comment. Maybe he thought no one was looking…
"I bet there's enough gold jingling in the pockets of this crowd for Wisthera and I to have a field day." Alessandre smirked, and hugged Opalbane closer. He was a rogue afterall.
Opalbane smiled, and they tried to listen to more of the Bishop's sermon. The most powerful and wealthy members of the clergy, paladins of the Silver Hand, and Stormwind nobility were in attendance. It was rumored that Opalbane's best friend Willypearl had even invited the King of Stormwind to the affair, but since he'd been missing for years, it was mostly a formality.
"Can you even believe that Wisthera is pregnant?" Opalbane got bored and whispered to her husband again. "That is certainly not the wily con artist I once knew… and she looks like she is bound to deliver soon."
Underneath their chair, Adeline perked up at the news and bumped her head.
Alessandre was jostled in his chair from underneath. He was tempted to pull the white cloth skirt up from around the seat and see for himself, but his wife saw him fidgeting and nudged him not to make a scene. Alessandre waited for an especially verbose part of the Bishop's speech to say, "I think you're shocked about it for reasons other than Wisthera's checkered past." He stole a kiss from his wife when she began to object. "I know you, Opalbane. You are the one with the infamous husband… you wish that you were having a baby."
Opalbane flushed. "If one more woman asks the Alessandre if he is really married now and then slyly offers to become your mistress, I will be doling out many very painful vampiric embraces to female guests."
Alessandre looked sad. "Moonlily, I used to be proud of my reputation… but I feel terrible about it now. I see how my old bad habits are affecting the woman I chose for life." He kissed Opalbane's hand. "I would be insane without you, remember? I need you in my life, I adore you."
Opalbane looked at Wisthera's round belly across the main aisle and seethed. "I am happy for my brother. I just wish more people here were interested in my friend Willypearl and Knight Elec Pontier getting married, and not how Willypearl started up a chain of lingerie stores to sell off all the things she tailored while secretly in love with my brother."
"I think 'Willy's Secret' is a great name for a lingerie store. And it's about time tailors started making something more useful than mooncloth robes." Alessandre shrugged.
Opalbane flashed an angry look at Alessandre. "And now she has you in on it too. The scandal has grown from the Night Elf she was obsessed with, who inspired a pair of lucky red men's underthings, to Onyxbane's brother-in-law who women refer to as the Alessandre"
Alessandre cut his wife off. "Remember, I asked you permission first before accepting Willypearl's offer to become a spokesmodel for her stores. Besides…" he got a whimsical look in his eye. "Don't you think that if there is going to be a pantheon of incredible Alliance lovers, that I should be on that list?" then he paused dramatically, "I am the Alessandre afterall."
"You are about to put all those exceptional love making skills to work by yourself this evening if you keep up this argument."
Using good assassin instinct, Alessandre left off fighting a battle he knew was impossible to win.
"I love you, Moonlily," he went for supplication instead, and began to purr like a real Nightsaber. Opalbane rolled her eyes, but started smiling.
Adeiline wondered how she was going to get across the grass to the other rows of chairs. The Undead woman heard that the rogue Wisthera and Onyxbane were sitting right across the aisle… Adeiline squinted a glowing yellow eye when she realized there was no way she could sneak to the other side and not get caught. Adeiline sighed and skulked away, to the safety of interlaced trees beyond the wedding area.
Across the aisle, Wisthera lay her head on Onyxbane's shoulder.
"That feels nice," her warrior boyfriend smiled.
"What? The heat, or all the people staring at the ex-con artist, ex-convict, baby's mamma to the famous ex-boyfriend of Willypearl, owner of every Willy's Secret lingerie store? Oh, excuse me, I forgot that everyone in the Alliance knows what Willy's Secret is by now!" Wisthera frowned darkly and placed both hands on her large stomach.
Onyxbane panicked. He flashed a desperate look to tactful his brother-in-law for mediation but Alessandre was busy across the aisle romancing his big sister Opalbane, as usual.
"Those two need to really get a room." Onyxbane frowned too.
Wisthera's mood changed instantly. Onyxbane disliked that Wisthera, like many women, still clearly had an attraction to the Alessandre, even though the famous lover was finally taken. Alessandre's recent addition to the family of romancers was connecting together some strange love triangles, or pentagons… whatever. "Oh, I adore Alessandre." Wisthera blushed. "He's so sweet, and look how in love they are, just like we used to be."
Onyxbane raised both eyebrows. He and his girlfriend 'used to be' hardly more than strangers nine months ago, when they had what was supposed to be a one night stand at a shady bar near Blackrock Mountain… why was Wisthera talking about them like they were an old married couple? They really hadn't been together for very long. Then, Onyxbane realized where all Wisthera's bitterness was probably coming from.
"We'll get married someday, Sara, don't worry." He patted her leg.
"Is this the 'don't worry, Willypearl and I are just friends,' kind, or the 'don't worry, I didn't cut myself too bad on the Reaper this time around' kind. Cause I hate both!" Wisthera raised her voice to a shout without realizing it.
From up on the abundantly decorated white dais, Willypearl the Human mage gaped at the Night Elf Wisthera. The look was so embarrassed, it nearly ruined the perfect silk wedding dress, her paladin fiancée Elec on bended knee in his gold plate and the four Silver Hand paladins holding sabers above the heads of the couple. Did I also mention that a moonbeam had been conjured on the spot?
Wisthera winced and excused herself to the shocked crowd.
The bishop forced a kindly smile and said, "Let us try that again… If ever there was a reason, by the Light, that these two people should not be wed, let that soul speak now or forever hold his… or her peace." The bishop added spitefully at the end.
Wisthera burrowed her face in Onyxbane's blue plate-clad shoulder.
Up on the dais, Elec whispered to his fiancée Willypearl, "My mother told you not to invite your friends. You gave them a room, and free meals at my home and look how they managed to ruin our wedding anyway."
Willypearl narrowed her eyes and her dark skin flushed a deeper shade of cocoa. "Honey, Wisthera is not my friend, and I intend to forget her and my stupid boyfriend Onyxbane as soon as this wedding is done." that heavy Westfall accent followed Willypearl everywhere, even into the most formal of occasions.
Elec sighed and covered his face with his hand. "Sweetheart, I think you meant to say 'her boyfriend', not 'my boyfriend.' Do you see how that's different?"
Willypearl apologized profusely to Elec.
And then, as if that weren't enough, a paladin holding his gleaming saber over Elec's shoulder mumbled, "There's an Undead presence at this wedding."
Elec glared at the man over his shoulder.
"Well there is." A second paladin on their left insisted. "I've been feeling it all day… it's somewhere to the east, I think, where those trees are. I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one. I thought I was going crazy."
Elec sighed. "I feel it too. I just thought it was wedding jitters though… but please, let's not go and see to it. There's enough scandal here today, and I don't want to bring the problems in Darkshire across the river." He whispered.
"I pronounce you, husband and wife." The Bishop finished loudly before the paladins could delve any deeper into their suspicions. Then, he whispered harshly to Elec, "If you think I am going to let you all postpone this wedding and ruin my schedule one more time…" Elec patted the old man on the back and thanked him for ending the ceremony, from the bottom of his heart.
Elec helped Willypearl onto her feet and kissed her tenderly, as was custom. "I do love you, Elec." Willypearl pleaded with her now brand new husband. "I'm just still so very angry at them, that's all. That voyage to Silithus with Priestess Feathershine, Onyxbane and Wisthera to get Opalbane from the cultists five months ago was one boat ride I should have never taken… it sure did bring me a donkeyload of misery." Then, she added, "Though I am glad my friend Opalbane is alright now." Elec hugged Willypearl in response. Paladins of the Silver Hand are very good at forgiveness.
"I love you, with all your faults--even if your worst one is a male elf fetish--no matter what anyone says." Elec kissed Willypearl again, then began to walk her down the aisle. The nobles gathered began clapping gently for the married couple. Elec waved a hand in golden gauntlet to the crowd.
Then they passed by the Night Elves. Willypearl saw her new husband flash a look of death at Onyxbane. Poor Onyxbane tried to hide behind Wisthera.
"I bet I should design a pair of underwear for you too, right?" Willypearl told Elec.
Elec patted Willypearl's hand on his arm. "I also want to be a spokesmodel too, like Onyxbane and Alessandre. Oh, and the piece you name after me had better be even bigger than that 'extra large male Night Elf' size your fans are so wild about. Then, we can finally call all this craziness even."
"Done." Elec's new wife was a very good business woman. The two of them were going to be just fine.
Far off to the east, among the trees, Adeiline sat behind a large Elm with a kerchief in her lap. Two angry Old God eyes peered at the Undead woman from inside the dirty glass jar.
Zarteaus tapped on the jar, and Adeiline leaned down to let him out.
"What are you going on about?" he asked, annoyed.
"Oh, it's just this wedding… it's so cheerful, like one I had during my un-Undead days." Adeiline smiled.
Zar'teaus sighed a long, tortured thousands of years old breath. "Nevermind that, you rot-for-brains. Did you find the baby, like I asked?"
Adeiline nodded. "Yes." She chanced a look around the tree, and saw that no one was watching her. "See that Night Elf woman there, with the long green hair?"
Zar'teaus wafted around the tree and looked for himself.
"Oh, I see… we are going to have to wait a bit longer."
Adeiline finished drying her eyes and sat back down. "But not for very long… I heard the Night Elves talking, and I'm even more sure of it because I studied with apothecaries, the finest Lady Sylvanas has to offer when I was with the Forsaken. I can tell that woman will be due soon."
Zar'teaus frowned at Adeiline through his rotted jowls. "And if she isn't?" he hovered expectantly for the answer his servant knew he wanted.
"Then, I can make her due." Adeiline confirmed their plan. But, Adeiline sounded sad to be plotting against fellow mother... even if it had been in another life, long ago.
That same day, at the Exodar…
"Ho there, Anchorite Orlick." Shadowstep greeted the tall blue-skinned Draenei in priestly robes. Orlick turned from the magical projector of Legion demons he was studying and greeted the Darnassian Master Rogue. The wavering pink image of a Terrorfiend hummed loudly before Orlick pressed a panel at the base of the crystalline machine and it sputtered out.
Shadowstep looked over both shoulders and then lowered his voice. The Vault of Lights was beautiful around them. Draenei were giving tours of the place to curious members of their new Alliance. The many amazing glowing treasures of the Naaru made the whole place feel like a temple, not an interdimensional vessel of travel.
"I trust," the Draenei said in his thickly accented Common, "Zat you have come to call in ze favor I owe, Master Rogue."
Shadowstep smiled wickedly. "Oh yes, my friend. I kept a secret of yours, and you know very well that High Priestess Tyrande would have never advocated for your people to join the Alliance if not for my quick thinking."
Anchorite Orlick nodded and the blue tentacles under his chin wagged. "Oh yes, my friend. Zere is an old saying in my language, 'travel ze road followed by few.' I thank you for being so kind to us. I will share ze information we discovered months ago as if it were a brand new surprise." his face lit up as if practicing his act, "For ze benefit of your lady friend." He bowed.
Priestess Feathershine rounded the corner then. Shadowstep cleared his throat loudly.
"Deliah, this is Anchorite Orlick, the contact I was telling you about."
Priestess Feathershine looked relieved. "Oh thank goodness! Shadowstep said he couldn't find you, I was so worried that you weren't here afterall, and our cause lost. Lucky you found him first, Jebidiath." She smiled kindly.
Jebidiath chuckled. "Am I the Master Rogue, or am I the Master Rogue?" he joked. Orlick winked at him, a bit too conspicuously, and then returned his own hearty laughter.
Feathershine raised a curious eyebrow.
"Oh, where are those young people!" Shadowstep quickly changed the subject. "The tour of the Exodar Legion records is about to begin without them."
The projector machines whirred and clicked in the awkward silence that followed. Priestess Feathershine attempted to read her boyfriend's mind then, but glaring images of them in bed together doing things she would never dare to do was the result. Feathershine instantly recoiled, and gave up the Mind Vision spell. Wow, that really does work. She thought idly. Frustrated, Feathershine watched Shadowstep smile to himself.