Hero Program 11.0

"Are you ok?" Tonks asked Hermione, as Harry rolled up the Lethifold and stuffed it back in his trunk.

"Is it always like this?" Hermione asked quietly.

"What, all chaos and excitement?" Neville said.

"I think that's just us," Harry offered, as he pulled out a stained bag that wiggled like it was full of snakes.

"Yeah, sorry about that, but we don't do normal," Tonks said.

"And she means normal by magical standards, not just muggle ones," Harry added.

"Being friends with us is not for the faint of heart," Neville joked cheerfully, as he examined one of the boxes of 'chocolate moose' he'd bought. "Says you need more room than we have here to open this," he noted.

"Stick them in inventory and we'll eat them at Hogwarts," Tonks told Neville.

The door slammed open, revealing two disheveled and bruised seventh years, who quickly raised their wands.

Harry opened his bag. "Sic em," he ordered, and a flood of socks leapt upon the pair.

"Argh!" the two screamed, as the socked wiggled into places they shouldn't and the two dropped to the ground.

Neville slammed shut his helm and a shovel appeared in his hand. "Shovel ho!" he yelled as he leapt forward to attack the pair.

TITLE: 'Shovel Knight' awarded!

"Definitely just us," Harry decided, as Neville knocked the pair out.

"Can you call off the socks before they smother them?" Neville requested, as he yanked a pair of dark wool socks off the face of one of them.

"How?" Harry asked. "I was bluffing on yelling sic em. Hagrid helped me pacify them last time, they simply attack the first thing they see."

"Try Parseltongue," Tonks suggested as she helped Neville. "It's supposed to cover anything that slithers, I think."

Harry shrugged and gave it a shot, hissing at the socks, which stopped trying to smother the pair and started slithering back towards him and into the open bag he held.

+50 XP! Parseltongue sub-dialect: Sock has been added.

"I'm surprised that worked," Tonks admitted.

+1 Luck

"I'm going to go... put these two somewhere, I'll be right back," Neville said, his shovel disappearing into inventory as he reached down and grabbed the two by the back of their jumpers and dragged them off.

"I was going to ask your help in uncursing my socks... but I think I'll keep them like this," Harry decided.

"It was certainly useful," Tonks agreed.

"Excuse me," Hermione said, grabbing her trunk and pulling it down from the overhead rack. "I've... I'm... erm. Bye!"

"Huh," Harry said after she'd left. "I'd forgotten what she was like in the first book."

"It did take several life and death situations to loosen her up," Tonks agreed.

The door slid open and Neville entered carrying two full sets of clothes. "Where'd Hermione go?" he asked, as he opened the window and tossed the clothes out.

"I think we scared her off," Tonks admitted.

Neville nodded. "Before Halloween she was a rules worshipping, teacher's pet, who wanted to learn everything. We don't exactly fit with her goals right now."

Tonks shrugged. "Loneliness and putting up with the Wizarding World's insanity drove her to be friends with Harry and Ron, I'm sure it'll make her come around again eventually."

"Like Stockholm Syndrome?" Harry said, wrinkling his brow in thought.

"A bit," Tonks admitted unconcerned.

"Even with canon events randomized, I doubt she's going to find anyone other than us who can match her mentally and enjoys learning," Neville said.

"Enjoy learning?" Harry asked, making a face.

"If you're going to claim learning magic isn't one of the best things in existence..." A shovel appeared in Tonk's hands.

"You haven't turned into Ron, have you?" Neville asked.

"No!" Harry threw his hands up. "Magic is great! I just... don't associate school with fun."

The shovel vanished from Tonk's hands. "I wasn't a huge fan of school at first either," Tonks admitted.

Harry and Neville gave her doubtful looks.

"Here, I mean," Tonks explained. "As Willow I loved school."

"Yeah, ok," Harry said.

"That makes sense," Neville agreed.

"Here we get to learn magic, there's no parents around, and... and it's magic!"

"And we can memorize useless facts at a glance, removing most of the drudgery from schoolwork," Neville added.

"I am interested in a ton of different spells," Harry admitted. "Plus it'll help with the whole 'dark lord' business."

+1 Wisdom

"Oh yeah," Tonks said, "forgot about him. Can't we pawn him off on James?"

"I got the scar, that means I gotta kill the idiot," Harry said seriously.

New Quest Added: Gotta Catch Em All! Collect Horcrux' to win valuable prizes, collect all seven to win (?)

"At least I get paid for it," Harry said.

"We get paid for it," Neville reminded him. "None of that tortured loner crap."

"Sorry," Harry apologized, "reflex. Life with the Dursleys sucked."

"And I made it worse!" Tonks groaned.

"Yes and no," Harry said with a frown. "I'm locked in the basement without food, water, or light, sure, but on the other hand I don't have to put up with the Dursleys down there."

"It's still pretty horrible," Tonks said.

"I'll poison their tea with Maclaw venom and hire a house elf or something," Harry replied. "Only an incompetent idiot would have a problem dealing with them when they have access to the wizarding world."

"Put a lot of thought into it?" Neville asked with a grin.

"Thought it up when I read the second book," Harry replied. "The number of problems that goes away with just those two things is pretty impressive."

"Isn't Maclaw venom a controlled substance?" Tonks asked, not recalling having read anything about it being restricted, but figuring it was dangerous enough to be listed as such.

"Wizards aren't that bright," Harry reminded her. "Besides I'm pretty sure Hagrid would know where to get some."

"Speaking of Hagrid," Neville said, "where's Hedwig?"

"Hagrid didn't get her for me," Harry replied. "He also didn't take me to the bank, as I have no vault, nor did he pick up the Philosopher's Stone. In fact, he acted a bit skittish for some reason."

"Remember everything's been changed," Neville reminded him, "for all we know, Hagrid is possessed by Voldemort instead of Quirrell."

"That is a frightening idea," Tonks said after a moment of thought.

"It really is," Neville agreed, picturing a possessed half giant riding a dragon.

"Let's study up on ways to prevent possession, just in case," Harry suggested.

"Something we should look into regardless," Tonks agreed. "Wanna practice our first year spells and destroy the grade curve?" Tonks asked.

Harry looked over at Neville. "Your girlfriend is evil."

Neville grinned. "You're just figuring that out now? The more sweet and innocent they look the more dangerous they are."

"Hey- No, actually I rather like that," Tonks decided.

The door slid open and a prefect poked his head in. "You guys should get changed, we'll be at Hogwarts in just a little while," he warned before shutting the door.

Tonks clothes switched to Hogwarts' robes as she simply accessed her inventory and dropped them over her character sheet, replacing what she had been wearing.

"Forgot to do that," Neville noted pulling down his trunk and taking out two sets of robes, putting one in inventory and tossing the other to Harry. "Let's get changed and dump half my clothes on you."

"Uncursing my stuff is going to be a bit of a project," Harry admitted.

"I'd suggest casting stasis over the whole thing," Tonks said. "You know, just in case."

"And stick the clothes I give you in inventory so they don't get mixed up with them," Neville added.

Quest: The Lion, The Wizard, and The Wardrobe! Uncurse, kill, or otherwise render harmless the wardrobe of the unlucky wizard and win valuable prizes!

"Stasis it is," Harry said with a sigh.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"One at a time, one at a time!" Hagrid called out, as the students boarded the boats.

Neville helped Tonks aboard and she leaned against him, pulling his arm around her.

Harry stepped into the boat and turned to help the girl behind him in. The young girl accepted his help with a smile and introductions were made.

"Are you really Harry Potter?" Lavender asked.

"Have been all my life," Harry assured her.

"A horribly scarred squib?" she asked doubtfully.

"One scar," Harry said tapping his forehead, "and obviously not a squib."

"Then why did they say you were?"

"Boats forward!" Hagrid called out.

"How should I know?" he asked. "I didn't even know I had any relatives beyond the muggles who raised me until just recently. I was told my parents were drunks who died in a car crash that gave me my scar. I didn't even know I had a twin."

"That's awful," Lavender said, patting his hand as he sighed and slumped dispiritedly.

"Everybody duck!" Hagrid called out as they went under a stone bridge covered in ivy, coming out the other side a moment later and providing the children with their first glimpse of Hogwarts.

"It's beautiful," Lavender said in awe.

Tonks snorted. "It's only a model," she said, making Harry and Neville burst out laughing.

Typing by: Abyssal Angel!