"There are many victories worse than a defeat." - George Eliot

Katniss watched anxiously as District 12 disappeared outside of the train window. She felt Peeta's hand slip into her own and give it a squeeze.

"We're just going to District 4 for a week, Katniss. It's not going to disappear."

Katniss nodded as she turned away from the window, but in her head she thought of the bomb that had been dropped during one of her past absences.

It was odd to be traveling out of the district of her own accord and not because she was being forced somewhere. Commercial train travel had started up in District 12 not long after the war, but Katniss had never had a reason to use it. Then Annie had written and begged Katniss and Peeta to come see her. Katniss hadn't been able to say no, not to both Annie and Peeta.

Peeta had gotten two tickets for the very next day while she'd been out in the woods, and that was that. They were going to District 4. Peeta had paid enough for them to get a private compartment, which Katniss became more thankful for each time they passed someone new and had to ignore the staring. The compartment wasn't that unlike the room she'd been given on past train rides, and Katniss probably would have been more freaked out if it weren't for the decorating that was done in an entirely different style. The compartment wasn't as elaborate as the ones used for tributes had been. It looked more down-played, nice but simple, an influence that the districts had had on the Capitol since the end of the war almost a year prior.

The significant change in decor almost helped Katniss forget her past experiences on trains. She could almost see why some would consider such a trip an enjoyable experience. Katniss, on the other hand, just wanted to reach District 4 and get off. She watched anxiously as they flew across the country, and she was on the edge of her seat as she watched the palm trees finally come into view as they began traveling up the coast.

Finally, the train was slowing down and coming to a stop at the same station that Katniss recalled from her Victory Tour more than a year before. There were people milling around the train station either waiting for other passengers or to get on themselves, and Katniss hesitated slightly before following Peeta onto the platform, not really wanting to be noticed. Sure enough, several passengers seemed to be spreading word that they had traveled with Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, and the people stared as they cleared a path directly for Annie.

The baby was held tightly in Annie's arms as the woman watched Katniss and Peeta anxiously. Katniss could tell that she wasn't enjoying the staring strangers either, and Katniss sped up her pace in order to reach the other woman. It wasn't until she was standing directly in front of the red-head, Peeta at her side, that Katniss realized Annie and the baby weren't alone.

"Johanna."

Katniss was unable to form any other words at the sight of the District 7 victor. Katniss hadn't had contact with Johanna since the war with their equally standoffish personalities keeping any regular communication from starting. Katniss had learned enough to know that Johanna had gone to District 2 with a job similar to Gale's rather than back to her home district.

"Katniss."

Johanna smirked. She looked just like the Johanna Mason that Katniss remembered meeting. The one who cleverly hid her brokenness, not the one from during the war whose walls had been broken down.

In her shock, Katniss hadn't noticed Peeta greeting Annie. He interrupted then to greet Johanna, and Katniss suppressed her shock by turning to Annie. The woman seemed happy to see them, but she kept the greetings short before ushering them away from the busy station. The streets of District 4 were much busier than those of District 12 as they hurried along them. With District 4's larger size, it's Victor's Village was more than an easy walk away from the center of town, and Annie hailed down a cab for them, a strange idea to Katniss, in order to get them there.

Katniss watched as the district went by outside. There was a much different feel to the buildings, which seemed to radiate their sunlight as if they received so much that they just had to give some back. Everything was bright colors, and it seemed a contradiction that anyone living in so happy-looking a building could be unhappy themselves.

Victor's Village was much the same in style as the rest of the district, but the houses were larger, even in comparison to the houses in the Victor's Village of District 12. Katniss marveled over them as they pulled up to the one that must be Annie's.

Annie had the money ready to hand over to the driver, and she hurried out of the car and up the sidewalk to the door. Johanna stayed behind to help Katniss and Peeta with their bags, and Annie was holding the door open as they approached the house. Katniss followed Johanna through the door and looked around. The interior was just as bright as the outside, and Katniss thought again how everything was designed to put you in a good mood. It seemed cruel to house victors here.

"I'll help bring your stuff upstairs," Johanna said. She began walking up the stairs with a bag over her shoulder. When Annie didn't protest, Katniss followed along behind with Peeta. Annie had gone down the hall with little Miles to where Katniss thought the kitchen probably sat. These houses weren't built exactly like those in District 12, but they seemed similar enough in their basic layout.

There were five bedrooms on the top floor, two more than in Katniss's and Peeta's houses back home. Johanna led them to the second one and flung the door open. She was halfway through the doorway before she turned back with a raised eyebrow.

"Sharing a room?"

Katniss felt her cheeks heat up, and she looked down at the floor to avoid Johanna's amused, questioning expression.

"I think so, yeah?" Peeta looked to Katniss for confirmation, and she nodded, still looking at the floor.

Johanna let out a snort of amusement as she fully entered the room and dropped the bag she was carrying on the bed. Katniss and Peeta followed and had just dropped their own bags as Johanna was leaving the room once more.

"I'll be downstairs with Annie. You two unpack, or not. I don't really care. You can come find us when you want."

Katniss sighed as she watched Johanna leave. It was a relief to get away from her after having her presence thrust on her so suddenly.

"That was a nice surprise," Peeta commented as he opened a bag. "I don't really have any memories of Johanna that aren't shiny, so it's a good thing I didn't have an episode on the platform. Now I suppose I have a chance to sort out what was real and what wasn't with her."

"Most of it was probably real," Katniss muttered as she rifled through her own bag.

Peeta stopped what he was doing to look over at her. "Do you not like her? I know you don't really get along in my memories, but you never come across as good in those."

"It's complicated." At Peeta's questioning look she went on. "We didn't really get along at first. That was during the games when you knew her. She got rescued from the Capitol when you did though, and we were in the hospital together for a bit. Eventually, we ended up sharing a room in District 13, so I suppose we got along okay. I just wasn't expecting to see her. I hadn't heard from her since I was sent out as a soldier. She'd just failed at the test we had to go through. I didn't know anything more about what happened to her after that except she somehow wound up with some military job in District 2."

"Well, now you can find out more." Peeta had finished unpacking while Katniss spoke, and he waved a hand as he walked towards the door. "I'm going to go find them. Coming?"

Katniss followed Peeta back down the steps and then down the hallway Annie had disappeared down earlier. The rooms were open with wide, doorless doorways, and Katniss realized that most of the first floor could be seen from any vantage point once you moved past the entryway. Johanna and Annie were seated on a bright sea green couch in the area arranged to be a living room. Miles rolled around on a blanket at their feet. Katniss sat in a chair that put him directly in her line of sight, and she watched as he stuffed a toy in his mouth without a care in the world.

Katniss had never been overly fond of babies, although she didn't hate them, yet she found Miles a bit fascinating. He was the most innocent and unworried person that she had seen in quite a while. He was babbling quietly to himself as the grown ups talked, and Katniss was too focused on that to even hear what the others were saying.

Gale's name brought Katniss into the conversation, and she quickly focused her attention on Johanna, who had been the one to speak it.

"What?" Katniss questioned before she could actually think about what she was saying.

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Hawthorne. I work with him. Surely you knew that."

She had known that, but "work with" was such a vague description of what they actually did together. Katniss had known they were in the same district working for the same people, but she hadn't thought they were seeing enough of each other for Johanna to bring him up in conversation.

"I did." Katniss said, a bit embarrassed over her outburst. "I just didn't realize you talked to him much."

When Johanna rolled her eyes this time, it wasn't at Katniss.

"Well, I do. Too much, honestly. We have entirely different jobs, but I have to collaborate with him a lot. He's quite the know-it-all. I don't know how you put up with him for so many years."

Katniss had never thought of Gale as a know-it all, but she supposed she had soaked up any information Gale gave as a means for survival. Johanna wasn't one to accept advice, no matter what the motivation.

"Is he really?" Peeta looked like he was concentrating hard, and Katniss wondered what his memories of Gale consisted of. Whatever they were, he had never asked Katniss about her former best friend. Katniss had mulled over the overheard conversation from that night in the Capitol many times, but she had never thought of Peeta's altered memories.

Johanna's attention had also been drawn to Peeta's hijacking with his question, and she looked at him now with curiosity.

"How much can you remember?" she asked. "Not just of Gale, but of everything. I remember hearing bits about your recovery while in District 13, but I don't know much of anything."

Peeta was taken aback at Johanna's upfront questioning. Most in District 12 considered his hijacking too sensitive a topic to discuss with him.

"Before, it was hard to make out what was real and what was fake in my memories. Now I've become pretty good at it. I've also managed to bring back some unaltered memories, but those are much fewer. Something always has to trigger them. It's a lot like what I imagine recovering from amnesia would be like, except I have all these fake memories thrown in as well."

"What about me?" Johanna grinned in amusement. "What can you remember about me?"

"You're in a lot of the shiny-fake, I mean-memories from the Quarter Quell, but I haven't gotten many unaltered memories from that. It's hard to tell what about you is real and what isn't in those."

"So it's like starting over." Johanna smirked. "How lucky. You get to meet me twice."

Peeta shook his head. "Not really. Seeing you again is already helping me sort things out. I think I'll have the old memories straight soon. It's easy to do that with most people. They were only focused on Katniss, so others are usually similar to their real selves in the shiny memories. Talking to them again helps me realize the few things that weren't right."

"Most of the shit you remember about me is probably true." Johanna nodded. "I wouldn't bother raising your expectations otherwise."

"I remember liking you." Johanna's body stiffened in surprise as Peeta spoke matter-of-factly. "I did," he said in response to her shock. "I was always aware that you were putting up walls to be strong, and I didn't hold it against you. I remember admiring you. Of course, I also remember you and Katniss having a sort of thinly veiled aversion to each other, and hijacked me really liked that. Now that I'm seeing you again though, I'm starting to remember that pre-hijacking me liked you too."

"Touching," Johanna muttered after a few moments of shocked silence. She seemed unsure how to take Peeta's confession. "I suppose it's no use asking about Annie. You really only met her after. Hawthorne then, since you seemed so curious. What do you remember about him? Any dirt you can give me to taunt him with?"

"Hijacked me hated him almost as much as he hated Katniss. I think pre-hijacking me was just jealous, which fueled the hatred I felt after being hijacked. I'd already started clearing through that when we were in the Capitol though, so it was easy to sort through once I was home in District 12. I think I've managed to get it all straight."

"And your conclusions?" Johanna was glancing every so often at Katniss, as if hoping to get some piece of gossip. Katniss just wanted the conversation to switch topics. She'd avoided thinking about Gale as much as possible over the past months, and it was the first time she had even heard his name spoken by Peeta.

Peeta shrugged. "I don't know. Seems like an okay guy. Anything I held against him in the past is sort of irrelevant now anyway."

He was avoiding Katniss's gaze. Katniss wanted to disappear. She avoided talk about Gale as a rule, but she had no idea how to handle it coming from Peeta.

Johanna glanced between Katniss and Peeta and snorted. "I suppose it is. I don't think he has any intentions of coming back to District 12 any time soon. His mom and siblings were just in District 2 because he didn't want to go see them."

"How is he?" Katniss couldn't resist the temptation to ask, even though it filled her with dread.

Johanna's amusement only deepened as she watched a jealous look pass briefly over Peeta's face.

"As good as anyone can be who's drowning in their work all the time. I don't think he ever takes a break. We're alike in that regard though. I never want time to think. That's why I have to put up with him so much. We're the only two who ever stick around as late as we do."

Katniss's mind immediately went to thoughts of all of the time Johanna and Gale must be spending together. She expected to feel at least some sort of jealousy or hurt feelings, but instead, she just felt confused at finding out that two very different people in her life had managed to intertwine their lives to the extent Gale and Johanna had. Katniss hadn't had many close relationships over her life. Gale, even Johanna, was on a very short list in that regard. If she felt any jealousy at all, it was because she felt as if she had lost a friendship that Gale and Johanna each had, no matter how much Johanna claimed her relationship with Gale was antagonistic.

"You could probably contact him, you know." Katniss looked at Johanna in surprise. "He wouldn't push you away."

"I shouldn't," Katniss stuttered over her words. "Not yet, at least. I need more time, and I think he does too."

Johanna shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Katniss thought she detected a hint of amusement in Johanna's voice. Peeta's expression had turned sour, and Katniss could no longer bring herself to look at him. Soon though, his mouth suddenly went up in a smile that only contained a hint of discomfort.

"I hope we get to hear from you again though, Johanna," Peeta said brightly. "It would be a shame to not keep in contact."

"Sure," Johanna shrugged. "Might as well. Annie's the only friend I have anymore."

Annie, who had been listening quietly to the conversation, smiled contently and leaned over to pat Johanna on the hand. Katniss thought back to the Johanna before and during the uprising and wondered when she had managed to develop the patience to accept any sort of comforting.

"Not anymore," Peeta grinned. "And you're welcome in District 12 whenever you'd like. It could even be a sore spot to rub in with Gale."

"I think I'll take you up on that someday." Johanna smirked. "I haven't been out there since my Victory Tour."

"Not much to see," Katniss commented.

"We're rebuilding." Peeta was quick to defend their home. "It'll be fixed up nicer than it ever was before."

"Anything that isn't a military compound is nice after spending so long in District 2. It's just freeing to be out of that place."

"If you hate it, then why take the job?" Katniss asked.

"Call it a sort of determination, I guess." Johanna's lips had dropped into a slight frown. "After the little scene I caused that prevented me from being a soldier during the war, I became determined that I would be in the military, even if it wasn't as a soldier. I don't need the job with the victor money I'm still guaranteed, but I feel better having something to do every day. It's also nice being in the know about what the military is up to."

Each of the adults in the room shivered at thoughts of the past, and Miles let out a loud babble in the silence. Annie jumped to attention and swooped down to pick the infant up from his blanket on the floor. His babbling increased at the sight of his mother, and Annie snuggled him close to her chest as she retook her seat on the sofa. The small family seemed content, and if Katniss hadn't known better, she would have never guessed what hardships Annie had been through. It was amazing how bright the baby seemed to make Annie's life. Every so often, Katniss could catch a hint of the hurt behind Annie's eyes, but it seemed farther away and more diluted than what was in Peeta's and Johanna's.

Katniss looked closer at the room and noticed for the first time the pictures of Finnick that were scattered about the house. A pang of emotion hit Katniss hard as she looked at the face for the first time since she had hurriedly turned off a Capitol news broadcast a couple of weeks after she had returned to District 12 from her trial. Katniss had to admire Annie for her willingness to display her dead husband so prominently when Katniss couldn't even handle the memories of her dead sister and friends that always appeared in her mind.

How could the girl most broken of all of them have reached such a healthier place? Katniss was starting to think that Miles was the closest thing to a miracle she had ever known. She had been half expecting to find a despondent Annie who struggled to care for her infant son, even though her regular contact with the woman had hinted differently. Katniss hadn't been able to believe it until she saw it for herself.

Peeta's smile had brightened now as he watched the infant happily cuddle up to his mother. Johanna seemed entirely uninterested in the child, a sentiment Katniss shared, even with her curiosity of his affect on Annie.

Annie seemed to realize that Peeta was the only one who shared a fraction of her enthrallment with the child. "Would you like to hold him?" she asked.

Peeta agreed readily, and Katniss watched closely as Annie carefully place Miles in his arms. Her stomach tightened as she watched the joy on Peeta's face. This was something she hadn't expected to encounter. It wasn't that Katniss was wholly unaware of Peeta's desire to have children, but it had never been a pressing issue. There were too many other struggles they were facing for reproducing to be on either of their minds.

Now that he was face-to-face with a baby, Katniss worried Peeta's thoughts would be more occupied with parenthood in the future. They still weren't even close to ready for that whether Katniss approved or not, but she didn't want Peeta to get even more dreams of the future from being around Miles.

Annie wandered into the kitchen once Miles was with Peeta and could be heard clanging around. Johanna seemed bored as she reached for the remote in order to turn on the large television that took up almost a whole wall of Annie's living room. A loud, hyper voice sounded from the speakers, causing Johanna to swear and mutter, "Stupid children's shows. He's six months old," as she quickly changed the channel.

Johanna landed on a show dedicated to remodeling the houses of Capitol citizens. Katniss recognized it as the original version of a short-lived show that had done the same for those in the districts, which had filmed an episode in District 12 about six months back. It turned out the downplayed tastes of the district citizens hadn't gone over well with Capitol citizens, but the Capitol-based show was still going strong, with the district citizens marveling over the styles of the Capitol.

Katniss imagined Johanna wasn't all that interested in Capitol decor, but the former victor leaned back on the couch and watched the screen with a glazed over look. It was the same way Katniss imagined she looked whenever she gave into the mindless "entertainment" of a television program. She wanted to ask more about Gale, especially since neither she nor Johanna were particularly excited to see which color walls the couple would choose, but she couldn't think of how to broach the subject.

Johanna, who had always seemed to understand Katniss in the oddest of ways, glanced briefly over at her before smirking. "Go on and ask," she encouraged.

Katniss sighed. "I don't know what I want to ask."

Johanna nodded, dropping the smirk from her face. "He never talks about you, but I think you're the reason he hates me so much. Not that I don't evoke enough hatred in most people by myself and Hawthorne isn't the friendliest to anyone, but he always seems particularly horrible to me, and I think that's my fault. I'm the only person still in his life, other than his family of course, that's connected to you.

"I can't blame him because I view him the same way. He's like this constant reminder of the rebellion that I would rather forget, but he's there, and I can't do anything about it."

"Why don't you transfer somewhere else or get a different job?"

Johanna shrugged. "I don't like defeat. If I did, I would have been dead years ago. I'm not letting my problems get in the way of completing what I decided to do. Besides, it would be like letting Hawthorne win, and I can't have that."

Katniss sensed there was more there, more that Johanna wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to. Katniss couldn't find it in her to pressure the other woman. She knew what it was like to want to keep certain information locked away. Johanna never wanted to appear weak, and she wasn't one to spill her troubles, even to someone just as screwed up as she was. Why Johanna seemed almost anxious about discussing Gale further, Katniss didn't know for certain, but she was willing to let Johanna keep her secrets.

Katniss hesitated before speaking. "Just watch out for him, if you can. I'm not asking you to be good friends with him, but make sure he's not too bad off."

Johanna was frowning at the television again, but she nodded. "I can do that, I think."

"Thank you," Katniss whispered.

Miles let out a loud squeal and Katniss jumped. Her eyes flew to the infant that still sat in Peeta's arms. Peeta, whose presence Katniss suddenly became aware of again, was watching her closely, a frown deepening lines into his forehead. Katniss held a hand out to him and offered a gentle smile as he took it. She breathed a slight sigh of relief as he smiled back, but she could still detect a hint of insecurity in his eyes.

Annie came hurrying back into the room carrying a tray of sweets and cups full of some sort of drink. She sat the tray down on the table in between them and began passing out the cups to each other them. It was some sort of juice Katniss assessed before taking a drink, one from a fruit that she didn't recognize.

Annie didn't seem to detect the emotions in the room as she retook Miles from Peeta and started happily babbling on to them all. Katniss smiled at the woman as she half listened and half marveled yet again that the one among them who had possibly lost the most, who had once been the most broken, could now be so content with her life. The most unafraid of what was to come.