Okay this is a really short chapter! Just bear with me because this is from James's point of view. I wanted to show everyone how James was feeling in regards to what happened between him and Lily. He is so confused right now. I needed to insert this before I kept going with Lily's point of view. Haha so read and review!

James Potter walked along the grounds of Hogwarts pondering about what Lily had told him or rather asked him. The grounds were actually very beautiful. Snow was falling softly from the granite sky. It was layering the day old snow that had coated the ground. The lake was frozen and had marks on it from people skating.

He didn't get that girl at all. She never ceased to surprise him or frustrate him or anger him for that matter. A year ago he knew what to expect from her; now he didn't what would happen tomorrow.

"I want you to consider us starting over. We should start at the beginning. We'll reintroduce ourselves and take it from there. You are not to ask me out, hit on me, flirt with me, or show any other forms of affection that one might misinterpret as being more than just friends."

James had stared at her shocked. Did she not just hear him say his previous statement? James was about to open his mouth but closed it seeing the look on Lily's face and the fact that she interrupted him with her next statement.

"I'm not asking you to decide or to do anything right away, but at least consider it. As you said before, this is just not all about you."

They had both elapsed into silence. After Lily had yawned yet again James went back to his bed and had lain down. Sleep overtook him until he woke up earlier in the morning to find Lily's bed already empty.

Since then, James hadn't stopped thinking about what Lily wanted him to do. He knew it wasn't fair for him but he reasoned it was better than Lily looking at him like he was a bug that she wanted to squash. He sighed. He knew he would abide to Lily's demands because in the end, that could be the thing to get her to admit her feelings for him. Oh yes, James firmly believed that despite all the weirdness that had gone on between them in the past four months, not to mention the past three years, that Lily Evans had more than friendly feelings for him.

He started walking around the lake for the fifth time that morning when he saw something sparkling on the ground. Picking it up, he gained some inspiration in regards to his Lily situation. He pocketed his little find and continued on. His spurt of good mood vanished as quickly as it had come. He reflected what else Lily had asked him to consider.

"You will not break up with Mary unless you honestly don't want to date her anymore. She likes you too much and it seems that you like her a lot too," Lily said. It seemed to James she spoke it a little reluctantly and angrily if not jealously.

Too bad that Lily didn't know that James had of late, only been stringing Mary along. At first he was surprised to find that he really liked her. Then, as the relationship went deeper, James realized that Mary was annoying him to no end. He realized that she was no Lily. No matter how close Mary and Lily were, Mary wasn't Lily.

James knew that he would keep her for a little while longer if only not to upset Lily too much.

"Jamie!" a voice sang out over the grounds.

Speak of the devil, James thought sourly, and the devil will appear.

"Mary."

James gave his hand to her outstretched one.

"How are you? Are you feeling any better?"

"I feel perfectly fine actually, like the whole incident never happened."

Mary's expression grew dark as they started walking.

"I wish it had never happened. Now Lily hates me, Sirius won't talk to me. You know how close those two are. I guess Lily's reaction really made him angry at me. Alice is still giving me the cold shoulder. But at least we're in it together. Lily hates you too. Sirius is your best mate so I can't really talk for him, but Alice isn't talking to you either."

Mary's mood brightened when she said all of that aloud.

James did his best not to act annoyed that Mary had it all wrong. Lily didn't hate him or even her for that matter. Sirius wouldn't talk to Mary that much prior to all this anyway. James could care less about Alice Brhant. Her not talking to him was the least of his worries.

"It's okay though," Mary told James. "We'll get through it…"

James was suddenly disgusted with her. Some beast deep inside him started to rebel. It clawed at his insides the more Mary talked. The beast was asking him why he was dating Mary when he could be spending useful time chasing a redhead. James tried to reason with the beast.

It's not fair for Mary.

But it's not fair for you either.

I'd be a shallow jerk.

Like you didn't know you were one anyway.

Lily would kill me.

You know that she already wants to kill you for going out with Mary in the first place.

That shut James's brain up and he let the beast take over.

"…And I think that I… love you," Mary finished the speech that James hadn't been listening to.

The beast and his brain both reeled back in shock. Mary was the first girl to say 'I love you' to him when he wasn't making out with them or doing…things… with them in broom closets.

Mary looked at him expectantly as if she was expecting him to say it back. He had never, not once, said to a girl that he loved her. He had no idea what to say to Mary. The beast was still in shock and his brain was now dead.

"Er…" James trailed off not quite sure what to say. 'Mary, I think we need to talk' would only freak her out. She might refuse the relationship to be over James panicked.

James say something quick. If you don't answer she'll be just as mad as if you had. Say something, anything.

"Mary, I think I need to tell you something."

They both stopped walking and faced each other. Mary waited for James to go on. They were still holding hands James realized, so he quickly took his hand away and stuffed it in his pocket. He wrapped his hand around his wand in a stabilizing grasp.

"This isn't working. We need to… break up. I realized that I'm not one for a long-term relationship."

"What?" Mary asked blankly, staring at James.

"This whole relationship isn't working for me anymore. I can't keep stringing you along. If I did, you would be hurt a lot worse."

Mary turned away and stared out over the lake.

"It's Lily isn't it?" she said with some bitterness.

"No—"

"Don't lie to me. I know it's because of Lily. James why do you do this to yourself? She doesn't like you back! Why do you put yourself through that? Doesn't it hurt? Don't you ever get tired? She's just a girl, like any other girl. Tell me, through our whole relationship, did you feel anything? Or were we just going out because I'm Lily's friend? Did I mean anything at all?" Mary started crying.

James was totally perplexed. They had been going out for a month, not even. She was crying for Merlin's sake! She must have really meant that she loved him when she had said it.

"Look Mary, I'm really sorry. I can't answer those questions myself. I've tired! I can't figure it out. I have no clue why I like her or why I keep chasing her! I don't know why I do it, but there's just something different about Lily! Half the time I wish she never existed but I know life would suck if she didn't! I did genuinely like you at first. As time when on, I realized that I didn't anymore. Some beast had been unlocked inside of me and it yearned for Lily. I realized that I couldn't keep dating you, you aren't Lily! I don't know anymore! I don't know!"

James had started to cry out of frustration. The whole situation was backwards and upside down. Why couldn't Lily just say yes to him? Just one time!

He punched the nearest tree and drew blood from his knuckles. Mary's questions had no answers. James knew that they should but they didn't. He didn't get it and he didn't think he was ever going to.

Mary had stopped crying when James had started. She watched him with his glasses slightly askew, blood dripping down his wrists.

"You love her," Mary said softly.

Sure, everyone said it but no one really knew how true it was. Even James didn't know that he really loved her. He had always said it in passing, passing it off as not big deal. He used to tease Lily with that fact but he didn't realize the weight of his words. They were really true.

"Love who?" James snapped pushing his knuckles to his eyes to stop the flow of tears.

"Lily Evans."

"No I don't! I don't know what I feel about her! I can't figure her out! It's more of a sick obsession!"

"James you love her. If it was an obsession then Lily would be getting a restraining order for you. You wouldn't be allowed near her. You love Lily Evans and you don't even know it."

"I've told you hundreds of times—I don't know what I feel about Evans!" James screamed. He removed his hands away from his face. There was blood where his knuckles had ground into his skin and his eyes were now dry.

"Forget it James," Mary said icily. "There is no way to win with you. No wonder why Lily doesn't bother to deal with you." She stalked off back to the castle leaving James standing like a lost toddler in dire need of directions.

James sat down in the snow and started crying again. This time it was a silent cry of pity. He had tried to forget Evans, ignore her. It hadn't worked. He had tried to get her attention, get her to like him. It hadn't worked. He had asked, practically begged, for her to give him a chance. It hadn't worked.

And he couldn't stop, he couldn't give up. And he had no clue why.

After an hour or two, he was jolted out of his agonizing by a soft voice. He looked up and silently cursed himself.