Chapter 10: Plots

Genma wasn't expecting to find Raidou and Iruka playing cards as if they weren't even looking at them, staring each other down across the table. He stood in the kitchen doorway for a long moment, as if waiting for them to notice him, but the two just kept putting down cards, saying nothing and acting as if they didn't even realize he was there.

"Hey, guys?" he finally said. "Are we just going to play cards today or what?"

Raidou looked up first, and then turned back to Iruka without commenting. "I don't really want to teach him how to play our game, kid, what do you think?"

Iruka didn't even spare Genma a look. "No, I really don't think he'd be any good at it anyway. It's pretty complicated. Let's just finish this game and then we'll find something else to do." Still without looking up, he said, "Have a seat, Gen-chan, you can watch if you like."

Genma was not happy, but he strolled over and plopped into a chair anyway, clenching his teeth on the senbon in his mouth hard enough to hurt. He couldn't quite catch the flow of the game, the cards seemingly being played at random and occasionally picked up by one player or the other. When Raidou finally sat back and said, "I win," quietly, Genma wasn't even sure how it had happened.

Iruka nodded, picking up the cards and starting to put them back in their box. "You win. I'll get you your prize tomorrow, okay?"

This caught Genma's attention. "You guys were betting? What's the prize?"

Again Raidou looked at him impassively and then turned away without speaking, but this time Iruka turned to look as well. "It's a secret, Gen-chan. Our game, our bet, our business. Now, what are we going to do today?" he asked, smiling a polite very non-Iruka smile.

Genma glared at both of them for a moment, then sighed. "Okay, fine, keep your petty little secret. Let's go outside, it's nice out."

Raidou nodded, but as they were getting up to leave, he turned to Iruka. "Hey, bring that camera of yours, kid. I want to see what you can do with it other than porn." Iruka stuck out his tongue and then ran to retrieve the camera, and Genma glowered again.

"What, you didn't tell me, and now I have to act like I don't know even though I do?" Raidou said with a shrug. His friend didn't let up the glare, but shifted uncomfortably a bit, as if realizing he'd been the one to mess up.

Outside they found their way to one of their usual training spots, and found it already occupied by Iruka's old friends. "Not those monkeys," Genma said with a pout, and Raidou laughed. "Seriously, I got to see them drunk! Drunk, Raidou, can you imagine? I didn't realize when the kid moved in that the weird little monkeys were going to be hanging around."

Raidou arched an eyebrow at Iruka, who was walking on the other side of him. "You let him get away with calling you a kid still, and calling your friends 'weird little monkeys'?" He said the last part more loudly than necessary, and the two boys practicing taijutsu both turned to look at once. The larger of the two looked as if he might any moment summon up that strange weapon of his again, and Genma found himself wishing they'd decided to stay in and play cards after all.

"No, I don't think I will let him get away with it," replied Iruka, with his best dangerous grin. Suddenly he was pulling out a stack of those strange tags he favored, and they swarmed like insects, covering Genma before he had time to move. Apparently his friends took a cue from him, because when Genma tried to move, he found himself stuck in some kind of sticky substance on the ground, and there was that odd conch-looking thing being brandished in his direction. Great, he though, the troublemaking trio reuniting to beat on his ass.

"Come on, Ruka, I didn't mean it," said Genma, not bothering to try to fight. Sure, he might have been able to beat all three of the young Chuunin in a fair fight, but… wait, were there fair fights among shinobi? He didn't think so, now that he thought of it, and to be honest they probably still could have kicked his ass in one if they existed. He simply hadn't been prepared to fend off the infamous tricks of his own boyfriend. "I thought we were going to have fun today, hang out with Rai like old times, not air all our problems in public?"

Kotetsu's and Izumo's faces grew dark at this, and they turned as one to look at Iruka. "Problems? What problems is this guy giving you?"

Iruka exchanged glances with Raidou suddenly, wondering if their plan was going to work out quite right after all. "Nothing to worry about, guys. Just a little case of hypocrisy. I'll let you know if you need to beat him down though, okay? For the moment, can we have this field?" Then he looked down at the sticky patch below Genma, and changed his mind. "On second thought, we'll go on to the other one. I don't want to get that stuff on me again. That stuff is why I won't drink alone with Zumo anymore." At this, Izumo stuck out his tongue, and Kotetsu laughed.

"Fine, have it your way. But if he gives you too much trouble, I'll break every bone in his body," Kotetsu warned, looking far too serious for his age. Iruka shuddered a little, and remembered just how creepy his old teammates could be. "Weird little monkeys" wasn't quite as bad a name for them as he claimed, the more he thought about it.

It took Raidou and Iruka both to pull Genma away from the jutsu-induced stickiness, and Iruka left the tags where they were, swarming Genma and keeping him from moving. The other two kind of dragged him between them, and threw him on the ground when they reached the field. Iruka snapped a couple of pictures just for fun, and then he and Raidou walked away. Smiling at each other over his head, they shucked their t-shirts and went to the middle of the field, facing off against each other.

Something about seeing Raidou and Iruka fighting each other was just wrong for Genma. First, the simple fact that he knew Raidou could end it any moment he chose, but also because they were both half-naked and sweating in the midday heat, and Iruka seemed determined to flirt while they were fighting. At first Genma thought he was imagining it, but after the tenth or so time he saw Iruka give that one particular smile, he knew there was something going on. He wanted to go play too, or put an end to it, one or the other, and he couldn't decide which.

"If you weren't going to let me practice too, you might as well have just left me behind," he said finally, pouting.

Raidou turned on him suddenly, dodging a punch from Iruka even as he turned his attention to his oldest friend. "What would you have done if we left you behind, spent some quality time with those photos?"

Iruka smirked, dropping to the ground and posing. "Oh, Rai, didn't you know, that's what we were trying to do when you showed up in the first place? Of course you didn't know that though, since your dear friend didn't even bother to tell you anything." He reached out his hand and focused chakra, and the tags spun away from Genma to gather in his hand. He stuffed then in a pocket and then turned to look at Genma, still posing provocatively. "Well, come on, Gen-chan, didn't you want to play?"

"You didn't tell him either," said Genma flatly, not moving towards either of his so-called friends.

Raidou shook his head. "Actually, he made his intentions pretty clear, even if he didn't inform me of his success. You're annoying, Genma, but you're not stupid, you know as well as I do that he's been after you for a while." He looked Genma up and down, and for a moment Iruka thought his expression looked almost hungry, but then it passed. "I'm not sure I agree with his taste, but I'd say you're pretty lucky he puts up with you both treating him like he's a kid and messing around with him. If I were him, I'd say it were time for you to pick one and stick with it."

Genma's mouth fell open, and all the pieces clicked in place at once. "You guys are conspiring against me, playing off each other's personal problems with me at the moment to use each other for your own revenge."

Iruka smiled, sauntered over, and patted Genma on the head. "Wow, that was pretty quick for someone who is supposed to do this sort of thing for a living!" he said sarcastically.

Raidou grinned. "Well, it was kind of fun," he said with an apologetic look that didn't seem genuine at all. He reached out to pull gently on Iruka's ponytail. "I have to say, though, if you don't stop flirting with me, I'm going to be pretty tempted to borrow those pictures myself." He didn't blink an eyelash as Genma launched himself off the ground, and easily deflected the fist aimed at his face.

"Now, Gen-chan, don't make me tie you up again," said Iruka silkily. The voice and the suggestion did not sound like a threat to Genma, and he whimpered a little. "Surely you don't think Rai would actually mess around with me, do you?"

Genma looked from one to the other again, weighing his response. Before he could decide what to say, though, two bodies were piled on top of him as they both tackled him at once, and he would have choked on his senbon at the tickling that ensued if Iruka hadn't swiped it from him. Apparently whatever weirdness had been going on between them was done now, and Genma would have sighed in relief if he could breathe.

It was late that evening when the three made it to Genma's house, with refreshments, and spread themselves around his living room on the floor. "So, I think you should hang them on the walls," Raidou said suddenly, after a couple of drinks.

Genma choked on his beer, and Iruka giggled. "No, seriously, wouldn't that be funny?" Raidou pressed. "Can you imagine what people would think? And what kind of impression they'd make at your next party, Gen?"

"Kotetsu and Izumo would certainly find it amusing," Iruka added, smiling widely. "Tetsu would never call me a prude again."

Genma groaned, then knocked back the rest of his beer. "That's it, I'm going to bed. You two behave, and if you don't, just don't tell me about it, okay?"

Raidou and Iruka looked at each other and laughed, and Iruka brandished the camera at Raidou, as if making a suggestion, but Raidou shook his head and stood. "Tempting, Ruka-kun, but I've had quite enough photos for one day." He leaned in to give the younger boy a hug, and then smacked Genma lightly upside the head. "I'd suggest you take this one off to the bedroom and finish what you were doing when I came in earlier, or he's going to be pretty unhappy with you, old friend," he said to Genma gravely, then turned and jauntily let himself out.