A/N: Ok.. So I felt kinda bad leaving you hanging with Mello running with his realization that he loved Matt and you not getting to see Matt's reaction. This is NOT the last chapter. There's at least 3-4 chapters left. Depends on reviews I receive. Btw, I didn't intend to make people thing everyone "hated" Mello. In fact, the reason why everyone is so hard on him is because the love him AND Matt so much. They want to see them happy together, and unfortunately Mello being Mello, he needs it to be pounded into his head. In fact Naomi and Mello are like best friends (not like Matt and Mello) in a way that Matt and BB are. Minus the sex. =P Also, as much as BB wants to see them happy, he holds a tiny grudge towards out sexy blonde bombshell for continually hurting Matt. He's just helping in his own "Beyond Birthday" way.

Did you enjoy getting to see a bit of Near in the last chapter? And L's own speech getting involved? Gotta love the Panda. =)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. =( sigh Thanks for the constant reminder!

Warnings: Mentions of drug and physical abuse. Nudity. Language.

Chapter 11: Whispers In The Dark

You feel so lonely and ragged

You lay here broken and naked

My love is

Just waiting

To clothe you in crimson roses

I will be the one that's gonna find you

I will be the one that's gonna guide you

My love is

A burning, consuming fire

He felt so stupid. So blind. Naive. Ignorant. Immature. Ungrateful. Pathetic. All because he had been in denial. Of course he loved Matt! How could he have acted so childish to everyone trying to help him? How could he have been so stubborn to not accept what Matt had tried to give him the other night? He may not be the best person, but Matt wanted him. How stupid do you have to be to turn that down?

When he reached the apartment building he ran inside and raced up the stairs, not patient enough to wait for the elevator. But once he got to the door, he froze, his hand extended to the door knob. Was he supposed to knock or just walk in? It wasn't his home after all. Fuck. That. It was his home as long as Matt was there. With that in mind, he reached out, turned the knob, and push his way in. He passed the neglected kitchen and video games in the living room. He moved down the hall and opened Matt's bedroom door. It was empty. Beyond had told him that Matt was doing nothing but lay on his bed holding a pillow. His pillow. Was he wrong? Had Matt already began to move on? Was he too late? He looked around and saw Matt half empty whiskey bottle and carton of cigarettes. The ashtray had a cigarette you could tell had burnt out from neglect. That wasn't like Matt. He then noticed something that made his blood run cold and his heart almost stopped. A syringe. He picked it up and wanted to cry out. It was used. Tossing it onto the nightstand, his search renewed. He walked to the adjoining bathroom and walked inside.

The bathroom was bathed in steam. It was so thick, Mello could barely see. The water was still running and he only hesitated a second before he yanked the curtain back. Matt. He was sitting in the ball in the tub. Mello's heart clenched when agonizing green eyes lifted to his.

"Mello?" His voice was almost a whisper and he smiled. "I must be dead finally. You're here." That was it. Those words broke Mello. Gone were his pride and fears of rejection. How dare he? How could he have broken such a man? His best friend. Mello cried. A sob broke through his throat and tears fell down his cheeks in rivers. He climbed into the tub and pulled Matt to him, needing to hold him. "Mello? What's wrong? Why are you crying? Tell me and I'll make it all better for you. Why are you dressed so weird? I always imagine you in leather. I like the leather." Matt's weak smile had a wicked gleam in it.

Mello broke down even more. Here they are. Mello hoping Matt'll forgive him. Mello being the wrong doer. Mello was the one who needed to fix everything for Matt. And yet, Matt was asking what he could do to make it better for Mello.

"You're not dead Matty. I'm here. For real. I'm home." He buried his face into Matt's neck, uncaring of the water pounding down on them. Matt hummed.

"I love it when you say suck sweet things, Mels." Mello pulled away and looked at Matt. Was he delirious? He really thought Mello was in his mind. He looked closely in those green eyes and noticed the glazed over look. He was high. Very high. All he could do was lift them out of the tub and lay them down on the bed. He'd have to wait it out.

"Sleep, Matty. We'll talk after a nap." Matt snuggled into him more deeply and soon drifted off.

Matt awoke feeling more tired than he remembered. His body was stiff. He was naked. Wait, hadn't he been in the shower? He tried to sit up, but his arms burned with the effort. He looked down and saw that they were neatly bandaged from his recent cuts before his shower. He felt the pain. The heartbreak. He needed a cigarette. Or better yet, he needed his mistress to make him numb. He felt eyes on him and knew he couldn't be so lucky.

"B, just go away. Leave me to rot." He picked at one of his bandages, not wanting to see his friends disappointment in him yet again.

"You know, if you keep mistaking me for him, I'm going to start to get jealous." Matt froze. Was he high and imagining that voice? "No. You're not imagining me, Matty. I'm really here." Matt spun around at neck breaking speed. He grabbed his goggles from the bed and pulled them over his eyes. Mello chuckled.

"You're laying in bed, completely naked, after I found you seemingly trying to kill yourself in the shower, and you worry about covering you're eyes of all things?" Matt's lips twitched. Then Mello turned serious. He was sitting in a chair. His arms thrown over each side, his legs spread out and apart. His hair was messy. It looked like he had gotten wet and sat there to dry. His black pants were too loose on him. His white button up shirt and black tie were all wrong too. And yet, Matt's mouth went dry. He felt a stirring in his abdomen and wanted to shove a pillow in his lap. Mello looked absolutely enticing dressed that way, and he knew it. "No, Matty. We need to talk. Or rather, you need to listen to me." He got up and crawled onto the bed. It was all so seductive in Matt's foggy mind.

"Mello.." He panted out the name as he lay there. Mello smirked, but shook his head.

"I said you need to listen to me, Matty. I don't know why you thought starting this drug would be a good idea. But it ends now. I already found your stash. You are going to throw it away. Flush it. I don't care. You are also going to toss out this box with all you're cutting tools in it. You will never again harm yourself. Do you hear me?" Matt looked fearfully and uncertainly into Mello's eyes. The blonde sighed. "In return, Matt, you will get what you want. Anything and everything you want from me. Me as a whole." Matt's eyes lit up and Mello laid down, covering his body with his. Matt moaned as Mello's lips began to retrace the path it had taken the other night. When he got to his ear he nipped playfully and spoke again.

"I also refuse to allow anything to happen while you are still on drugs though. You need to clean up, Matt. And I will help you. As your best friend, I will protect you from yourself. And when you have a clear head and I don't doubt your words, you can tell me what you want." Matt made a sound of protest in his throat. Mello just chuckled before pulling his face back, lips running along his jaw teasingly. "Consider this a bribe." He whispered before his lips crashed down onto Matt's.

They were in heaven. Matt's hands were everywhere. He couldn't stay still. When Mello licked his lips, he opened the eagerly, groaning at the taste of Mello finally on his tongue. That more than anything proved to him this was real. Never could he have imagined the seductively sweet and intoxicating taste of Mello. He wanted more. Mello moved his forearms on either side of Matt's body, pushing himself up again, breaking the kiss. Matt groaned in displeasure.

"I told you Matty. First we clean you up. Let me take care of you." Matt nodded and Mello, unable to help himself, swooped down for another kiss. "I promise you Matt. I will never leave you again. Just get better. He had rolled off of Matt and pulled his fragile body to his own and held him. Tomorrow would be long and torturous. The weeks ahead would be long. Matt had a real fight ahead of him. He just hoped the addiction hadn't taken too deep a root in his being already. A week was such a short time. Yet all it took was one time, and a person could give themselves over to a drug so easily and completely. He would be there though. He would help Matt through it. He would be strong for them both. But tonight.. Tonight they were both content. Laying in each others arms. Tomorrow could wait.