-1Chapter 10:

Callum:

After 5 days with Sephy not coming in my mind was torn. I was worried out of my mind that something had happened to her, but I was also still thinking that she wasn't coming in through her own choice. Each day I went to the visiting room for visiting time, and each day she wasn't there I listened to the Cross officer's taunts about why she wasn't in. Each time I resisted the temptation to hit him, and each time I started to believe him a bit more. But I was still worried about her. After all she had been so happy, she had arranged for me to be saved, why would she then just turn her back on me.

Who could blame her after what I did to her? Part of me thought. Maybe she only saved me because she felt she owed me something, or something. Maybe she really hated me now, and only just realised…
…but she had been so happy. I couldn't let go of that fact, she had been so happy when I was saved, when she knew I'd be out of jail in 3 and a half years. So I started worried that something had happened to stop her getting in. Was she all right? Was our baby all right? Was she ill? Had her Dad done something?

On the sixth day I did have a visitor. It wasn't Sephy. It was someone I hadn't seen for what felt like a lifetime. It was my Mum.

'Callum' she smiled, almost in relief when she saw me. She hesitated slightly and then hugged me tight. I let her hold me for a while, and I realised how much I had missed her. When Mum finally let go and we sat now I noticed how different she looked. So much older, so much lonelier. I had never thought about it much before but when I left I had left Mum with no one. Dad had died. Lynny had been killed in an 'accident'. Jude had left for the Liberation Militia. And I was all she had, and I left. How selfish had I been just leaving her like that? If I had been killed, like I was so close to being, she would've truly had no one. 'How are you?' She asked me. She asked it in a way as if we had only been speaking a few days ago, not over a year.

'I…not bad' I replied, unsure what exactly to say. After a moments pause I decided for the direct, honest approach. 'Mum, you look terrible'

Mum let out a laugh. 'Thanks, Callum. Not looking so fantastic yourself'

I found myself laughing before I even thought about it. Mum sounded so natural, and normal, like nothing had changed. Which was good. I think. 'How've you been?' I asked.

'Not great' admitted Mum.

'I'm so sorry, Mum' I said sincerely, and I really meant it. I couldn't explain what I was sorry for. Everything. Sorry for Dad dying for something he didn't do. Sorry for knowing the truth about Lynette and not being able to tell anyone. Sorry Jude had left. Sorry I'd left after Jude. Sorry for everything the family had put her through when all she tried to do was look after her. Sorry for the hell Mum was probably going through daily at home having me and Jude for her sons.

Mum seemed to understand why I was apologising because she didn't ask me why; she just nodded and said softly 'it's all right. How've you been, in here?'

'Not too bad' I replied. It was a half honest reply. I wasn't too bad, but I could certainly be a lot better, if I knew where Sephy was. 'Have you seen Sephy?'

Mum looked shocked and slightly worried. 'You mean you haven't?' she replied.

'I haven't seen her since the day she saved my life' I said. 'She said she'd come in everyday and I haven't seen her since.'

'I saw her that evening. I told her to come and live with me, so the three of you would have a safe secure place to live when you get out…'

'You asked her to move in with you?' I repeated, slightly shocked. I had always thought Mum didn't like Sephy.

'Callum, you should've seen that place she was staying. It was horrible, damp and everything' Mum replied, then she read my expression, the way she's always been able to. 'Cal, I never disliked Sephy. I was scared about your friendship with her. Scared you'd end up getting hurt, or…killed or something because of it. That's the only reason I tried to pull you apart. If I had realised how much she obviously cares about you I would never have…Anyways, she said she would come round with her things the next morning, and she never did. So that afternoon I went around her flat, and there was no one there. I haven't heard from her since. I don't know where she is'

All the what ifs and maybes came back into my mind. But now they felt more definite, something had to have happened. There's no way Sephy would've agreed to move in to Mum and then disappeared without warning.

'I rang the local hospital to see if she had been admitted or anything, but there was nothing. I even rang Mrs Hadley, but she hadn't heard from Sephy since she'd left her home. I thought she would've come to see you though' Mum continued.

'Something must've happened' I had said before I could stop myself.

Mum nodded slightly and I realised she was thinking the same thing.

'What if her…'

The bell to signal visiting time was over cut of my question.

'I'll find her' Mum promised.

I nodded. As I was pulled away I turned back and said 'thank you for coming in' and Mum smiled.

Once I was back in my cell I was terrified for Sephy and our baby's safety. I couldn't shake off the feeling that her Dad was stopping her from coming in, it would be just the sort of think Kamal Hadley would do. And if he was stopping Sephy from coming here, what else was he making her do which suited him and no-one else?

Make sure you find her, Mum.

And right there and then, I knew what the first thing I was going to do when I was out of here in 3½ year was going to be.