Part Eleven
Sarah could feel the blood pulsing in her ears, the adrenaline and fear coursing through her body for Cameron as she took in the sight of her being pinned to the ground by an unknown man. Ignoring the whimpering blonde girl standing to the side and John standing uncertainly behind her, Sarah could feel her fingers tightening on the gun as everything around her froze and her focus swivelled down onto the familiar brown orbs staring up at her with profound relief.
Not knowing who the man was that was holding her to the ground or really caring except for the fact that he was trying to hurt Cameron, Sarah broke her gaze from Cameron reluctantly and pressed the muzzle of the gun harder into Jake's head.
"Let. Her. Go." Repeating her words with a hard emphasis on each word, Sarah stepped back as the man released his grip from around Cameron's throat and struggled to his feet.
Watching him turn around slowly to face her, hands above his head, Sarah could feel her hackles rising at the snarling grimace on his features.
"Look, this is none of your business. I just want my daughter."
Glancing towards Cameron who was now clambering to her feet and the blonde girl still standing in frozen horror to the side, Sarah's face hardened. Turning her gaze back to the man standing before her, her eyes turning cold at the thought of his hands around Cameron's throat and his body pinning her down, Sarah felt her fingers curling around the trigger on the gun reflexively.
"It doesn't look like she wants to go with you does it?" Drawling softly in reply and masking her features Sarah struggled against her desire to flick the safety off and pull the trigger. Cocking her head towards John Sarah softly commanded, "John, take Cameron and the girl to the truck."
Moving forward slightly in protest at Sarah's words, Jake halted again as Sarah aimed the gun at his chest, taking the safety off at the same time.
"I don't think so." Not taking her eyes off the man in front of her, Sarah could see Cameron and the blonde girl moving towards John out of her peripheral vision. Backing up slowly her eyes still locked onto a now furious Jake, Sarah followed after the retreating group.
"Whoever you are, this isn't over. Riley belongs with me." Throwing Sarah a snarling growl, Riley's father directed his gaze behind her shoulder, "You hear me Riley? I'll find you wherever you go!"
Sarah's eyes narrowed at the threat but remained silent. She didn't have time to worry about him at the moment, she had more important concerns. Hearing the screeching of wheels behind her, Sarah gave Jake a warning glare as she backed slowly towards the truck, her eyes never leaving the livid man in front of her. Clicking the safety back into place, Sarah tucked the gun back into her jeans and opening the front passenger door clambered inside. Taking a deep calming breath Sarah turned her eyes towards Cameron who was sitting behind John as the truck took off, catching the girl's eyes in a reassuring smile.
Whoever these people were that Cameron had gotten herself involved with Sarah didn't care, for now all she wanted was to get Cameron home.
Entering the familiar comfort of the house Sarah peered over her shoulders as Alison, Riley then John trailed after her silently. Knowing that Derek wasn't going to be back for a while after she had contacted him to let him know that Cameron had been found, stating cryptically that he was going to check out a lead before hanging up, Sarah sighed in relief. She didn't need the uptight ex-soldier making things even more strained than they already were. Making her way into the kitchen Sarah set the coffee to percolate in the absence of something stronger, knowing that she was going to need the caffeine to kick start her weary bones.
The drive home had been relatively quiet interspersed with Riley's halting commentary on what had led to the events of earlier and Alison confirming her suspicions that she had no memory of who they were. Feeling a rise of sympathy for the still upset girl, Sarah had fought against a sudden wave of jealousy as she caught Cameron's arms wrapped firmly around the girl's shoulders, holding her closely against her side in the travelling vehicle.
Glancing towards Alison who was sitting stiffly in a chair at the kitchen table with her back against the wall and Riley sitting uncomfortably close to her, Sarah willed away another wave of jealousy, knowing her hostility towards the blonde girl was uncalled for. Turning away from the sitting pair who was looking around them in bemusement, Sarah cocked her head towards John who was leaning against the counter opposite her, his gaze riveted on Alison.
Sarah could feel her head and heart throb painfully as she caught Alison's curious gaze upon her, the girl's eyes holding no hint of recognition as she took in the purpling bruises marring the skin around her throat. Stifling her overwhelming desire to just walk over and sit on Alison's lap regardless, needing to feel the girl's strong arms holding her tightly, Sarah masked her features into a neutral mask.
"So…" clearing a throat suddenly croaky with the intense longing to have Cameron look back at her with the love she was used to seeing in the girl's eyes, Sarah clenched her hands tightly and folded her arms against her chest, "you don't remember who we are, or anything about your life prior to waking up at the lake?"
"No."
Feeling Riley's hand clutching at her left hand on the kitchen table, Alison turned to give the blonde girl a brief reassuring smile before turning her gaze back onto Sarah. Alison was surprised that she wasn't scared of the woman standing rigidly in front of her, knew that with all the information she had managed to read up on about the escaped convict that she should definitely be afraid of her. But for some reason she wasn't. The woman that was standing before her didn't appear to be the same woman portrayed in the news reports she had managed to uncover.
She had been shocked of course and relieved when Sarah had turned up out of the blue, a guardian angel wrought as if from the dredges of her panicked and fearful mind but she hadn't been afraid of her. For some unexplainable reason Sarah Connor evoked from her a feeling of safety and love and it was this revelation that she was finding hard to reconcile to the stranger standing in front of her. She did not know Sarah Connor or remember her life with the woman and her son but apparently she was supposed to. And it was this forgotten life that was making her irritable and on-edge, like she was being shown a fleeting glimpse of something important but the memory of what that importance was disappearing as soon as she tried to make it take form in her head.
Alison could see the barely hidden pain behind Sarah's eyes every time the woman glanced her way, could see the emotions she was trying to suppress as she averted her gaze when Alison caught her staring. And it was unsettling her, a part of her wanting desperately to take away the pain she could detect in the emerald eyes even though she had no idea why.
"Cameron…um, I mean, Alison," turning towards John who was still leaning against the counter at his words, Alison's gaze was curious. Since having led them to the truck earlier, he had barely spoken two words since, leaving the questions to his mother, "you really don't remember us? At all?"
John's voice was incredulous. Even though he had been aware of the possibility of Cameron's memory loss; he wasn't prepared for the reality of it. This time her memory loss seemed more permanent than the last. Last time when this had occurred, Cameron was still Cameron in a way, her mannerisms and behaviour glitching between the two personalities. But now having spent most of the drive back to the house studying her intently in the rear view mirror, John could sense that she really did think she was human, that she really thought that she was the Alison that she had been modelled from.
She had a natural fluidity about her now, a natural flowing grace that Cameron had never achieved fully. No matter how much Cameron had evolved she had never managed to shake the sometimes stiffness to her movements, always being conscious of who and what she was. But when he was watching her in the mirror on the drive back and listening to her interjecting softly now and again to Riley's comments, Cameron wasn't Cameron anymore, she really was Alison.
Alison shook her head in frustration at the repeated question. She could feel the name niggling at the back of her head, an awareness that she should know the name that John had inadvertently called her but every time she tried to push through the fog, push through the cloud enveloping her brain in regards to her past memories, it kept slipping from her grasp like sand through her fingers.
Seeing John glance over towards Sarah with a raised eyebrow and a decidedly knowing look, Alison could feel her apprehension rising at the silent communication between mother and son. There was something they hadn't told her yet, something she knew that was very important, something to do with her.
"Are we, are we going to be staying here?" Riley's hesitant voice rang in the charged atmosphere as she glanced firstly at Alison then over towards John and Sarah.
Feeling all eyes on her, Sarah straightened and with a determined look on her face turned her eyes towards Alison. Noticing that she still held Riley's hand in a light grip, Sarah grimaced at the sight and pushed away her unflattering thoughts. Needing to do something with her hands Sarah turned towards the cupboards and pulled out a coffee mug. Picking up the coffee carafe she poured the contents into her mug as she mumbled softly, "Yes. This is Cam…Alison's home," stumbling slightly over the girl's name, Sarah pushed on, "we're her family."
John turned concerned eyes towards his mother at the stumble, knowing that this was hard on her. She had spent so much time on trying to find Cameron, on focusing on the girl's return to her that it must be causing her all sorts of pain at being unable to have the kind of reunion she had probably envisaged.
"John, can you, can you show Came…Alison and Riley to the spare room? It's late. We'll continue this discussion tomorrow." And with that Sarah walked out of the room gripping firmly onto her coffee mug as if her life depended on it, her shoulders set rigidly unable to bear the thought of finally having Cameron under the same roof as her but not in the same bed.
Watching his mother's exit silently John sighed as an insane desire suddenly coursed through his body making him want to grab a hold of Cameron by the shoulders to shake her violently. To do something that would bring her memories back of who they were and what they meant to her, what she meant to them. Feeling resentment towards the girl at not remembering the people who had become her family and seemingly having been so easily dismissed from her thoughts as if they had made no impact on her at all, John turned a brooding frown onto Alison.
"Come on, it's this way." Not waiting for them to follow, John walked out of the kitchen.
Alison glanced over towards Riley in bewildered surprise at John's abrupt departure as if she would know what had triggered his sullen behaviour towards them. Getting a shrug in response, Alison quickly clambered to her feet and followed after the retreating boy, her eyes straying unconsciously in the direction that Sarah had walked out of.
Sarah could feel her heart beating in her ears, her blood pulsing in her veins as she ran, the heavy thumping of her feet on the hardened concrete below throbbing in time to her erratic breathing. Looking over her right shoulder briefly, Sarah caught a glimpse of the terminator chasing her, its steps weighted down by the endoskeleton hidden under its skin, each footstep striking fear into her frantically beating heart.
Wiping away the sweat dripping down her temples, Sarah could feel the heat of the mid-day sun beating down mercilessly as she scrambled over a sandy rise, the slight breeze she could feel in the air doing nothing to soothe the stickiness of her skin.
Scrabbling on hands and feet for purchase on the sandy gravel, Sarah could hear the terminators footsteps getting closer; it's even breathing a contrast to her ragged gasping to get air into her burning lungs. She didn't know how long she'd been running but by the feel of her legs getting heavier and heavier with each staggering step and her body feeling each jarring impact on the hard surface, Sarah only knew that she couldn't stop.
To stop meant her death.
Glancing around her surroundings trying to find a place to hide, Sarah grimaced at the barren landscape in front of her. Stretching out before her was an empty space of a dusty, sun cracked vista, the waves from the scorching heat billowing slowly up from the ground it touched.
"Sarah."
Sarah froze at the sound of her name, catching the familiar voice calling out to her. Turning her head to look over her shoulder again, Sarah's face turned to one of panic this time as she spotted the pool of molten lava that had appeared out of nowhere with Cameron half submerged in the middle of the fiery heat.
Not knowing where the other terminator had gone, Sarah slowly turned around and made her way towards Cameron, her eyes glued to the calm face before her which was so incongruous to the lava eating away at Cameron's lower body. The girl was sinking to her death and her calm and relaxed demeanour was throwing Sarah for a loop.
"Cameron…" Croaking softly Sarah edged as close as she could to the molten pit, her hands stretching out in helpless futility as Cameron continued to sink slowly her gaze never leaving Cameron's face.
"Please Cameron…I, I need you. Don't, don't go…" Stretching her arms out as far as they would go Sarah could feel the heat battering into her skin, the hotness making her arms flinch as the burning sensation began to radiate everywhere the hot air touched.
Watching helplessly as Cameron was now submerged up to her neck in endoskeleton melting lava; Sarah could feel the overpowering panic and desperation begin to take hold, her mind trying to deny the inevitable outcome in front of her.
"Goodbye Sarah. I love you."
Cameron's features softened and her brown orbs staring intently into Sarah's own emerald green changed into their familiar warmth as she smiled softly at Sarah standing in frozen horror in front of her.
"Cameron no!"
Sarah shot up with a jerk, the hoarse cry dying softly on her lips in her darkened bedroom as the warm night air soothed the ice cold sweat from her body. Feeling her heart racing wildly in her chest as the images from her nightmare continued to revolve slowly inside her head, Sarah sat up further on the bed, kicking off the twisted blankets wrapped firmly around her body. Kneeling on hands and knees Sarah tried to get her breathing under control as she closed her eyes and concentrated on the rise and fall of her chest, the distraction beginning to ease away the soul consuming pain and desperation coursing through her entire body.
This was a recurring nightmare, one that had started when Cameron had gone missing and it was always the same. It started with her being chased by an unknown terminator, sometimes in the barren desert, sometimes in the city streets, wherever her surroundings were however, it would always suddenly change and end with Cameron sinking to her death in a molten lava pit. Sarah could still feel the helplessness washing over her terrified body, the knowledge that she was unable to do anything for Cameron except watch her die swirling around in her head.
Shaking off the slight trembling in her body, Sarah drew in one last calming breath before sitting up on her haunches, her hands weaving through her hair tiredly. Glancing around her darkened room Sarah sighed and moved to get off the bed, knowing that sleep was now impossible.
Pulling on sweats and a t-shirt, Sarah made her way to the door. It was going to be another lonely night of keeping vigil.
Hearing the creaking of the front door behind her Sarah stiffened slightly but kept her eyes focused on the driveway in front of her. This had become a habit of hers after she couldn't go back to sleep. The soothing sounds of the night time noises and the tranquillity of the moonlit night itself settled her racing heart, quelled her troubled thoughts from a nightmare that she never seemed to escape from. Cameron was still gone.
Sensing Alison's uncertainty as she stood hesitantly behind her, Sarah sighed and closed her eyes briefly before taking a deep breath. She had known it was the girl the moment the door had opened behind her catching Cameron's unique scent in the light breeze pervading the night air.
"It's ok. I can use the company." Turning finally to stare at the still standing girl behind her, Sarah nodded her head and slid over to the side on the step to accommodate her. "Why aren't you sleeping anyway?"
"I don't sleep…much."
Hearing the familiar words from the girl who was now settling comfortably down beside her that was so reminiscent of Cameron Sarah could feel her eyes suddenly wet with unshed tears. Gasping in a soft breath at the unexpected pain washing over her, Sarah clenched her hands on her thighs to stop the shivering she could feel beginning to travel up her body.
"Are you ok?" Giving Sarah a startled glance at her reaction to her words, Alison turned around to gaze at Sarah in concern.
Feeling Alison's thigh brush against hers as she turned towards her and the innocent look of concern bestowed her way, Sarah felt like bawling her eyes out at the politeness of the question. Closing her eyes again Sarah inhaled a deep breath, knowing that she had to compose herself before she frightened the poor girl.
"I'm, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
Giving Alison a brief reassuring smile at the confused expression on her face, Sarah unconsciously reached out a hand to trace her cheek lightly, feeling the warmth emanating from the soft skin underneath her fingers. Inhaling sharply at the familiar tingles migrating from her fingertips, down her hand and up through her arm Sarah could only remain frozen as her head was suddenly inundated with images of Cameron and their life together before the girl's disappearance.
Alison was mesmerised by the darkening emerald eyes in front of her and the feel of soft fingers on her cheek. Holding her breath at the faraway look in Sarah's eyes as she continued to stroke softly, almost absently against her skin, Alison could do nothing but wait expectantly as Sarah's head moved slowly towards hers.
Feeling the soft brush of cool lips on her own, Alison melted as her eyes closed of their own accord, feeling the rightness in the kiss travelling all the way down to her toes. Moving her hands to grip firmly onto Sarah's waist, Alison deepened the kiss unconsciously, shivering at the touch of a warm tongue slowly wending its way into her mouth.
Sarah groaned softly at the taste of Cameron's tongue with her own, the sensations driving spikes of electricity through her veins. She had missed this, missed Cameron so much and here she was finally, in her arms, her body pressing gently against her own. She could feel the overwhelming rush of desire coursing through her body, the need for Cameron making her forget that this wasn't Cameron that underneath the kiss Cameron had no idea of who she was or that she had ever been in love with her at all.
Wrenching her lips away with a sudden lightening clarity, Sarah dropped her hands that had wrapped themselves around Alison's neck as if they had been scalded with hot water and moved away jerkily. Avoiding Alison's confused stare back at her Sarah ran a trembling hand through her rumpled sleep hair and stood up on unsteady legs preparing to leave.
"I'm, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
Alison glanced up at Sarah's stiff form standing hesitantly looking everywhere but at her, feeling an overwhelming rush of compassion and something else settling in her body. And it was the something else that made Alison want to reach out, want to soothe the obvious pain and uncertainty she could see clearly on Sarah's face.
"No, don't go. Please…please stay. It's ok."
Tensing in consternation as she felt a firm grip on her hand, Sarah glanced down towards Alison and felt her resolve crumbling at the lost and bewildered look on the girl's face. Sitting back down hesitantly but with as much space as she could get between them on the porch step, Sarah felt the loss of the touch immediately as the girl released her hand.
"I'm sorry."
Hearing the softly spoken words Sarah's features turned to one of startled confusion, wondering why the girl was apologising to her when she had been the one who had initiated the kiss, "For what?"
"For not remembering you." Focusing her eyes intently in front of her, Alison could feel a hot blush warming her skin as she felt Sarah's blazing eyes burning into her.
Sarah inhaled sharply, feeling her breath catch in her throat at the unexpected words.
"I…I really want to, remember you that is. But when I try…things become even more foggier. It's like the words to a forgotten song or tune on the tip of my tongue but the more I chase it, the quicker it seems to escape me."
Sarah remained silent as she studied Alison intently, sensing the girl's overwhelming confusion and frustration over a situation she had no control of.
"You love her don't you? Cameron?" Glancing over towards Sarah and then looking away again at the searing heat emanating from within the green orbs; Alison reached unconsciously for the diamond resting between her breasts and palmed it absently. She could still feel her insides reacting to the impromptu kiss and another layer of confusion settling on top of her already confused mind.
Sarah's eyes narrowed at the girl's actions as the diamond she had given Cameron came into view. Reaching out a trembling hand, Sarah gently removed the stone from Alison's grasp and rubbed the glittering surface softly, almost desperately as she stifled another overwhelming wave of longing.
"Yes. I do."
Silence fell again as Sarah's soft reply was carried away on the night air. Reluctantly dropping the stone she turned her gaze away to stare absently in front of her. Seeing her gift to Cameron still hanging around the girl's neck had shaken her, she had not expected such a painful reminder of a past that she still wanted in her present and future. Especially after a kiss that was still leaving her trembling and weak; her mind still firing off snapshots of her and Cameron together.
Alison mulled over the confession and Sarah's actions, her face thoughtful as she took in the pain she could see on the older woman's features.
"This was from you wasn't it? To her?"
Sarah sighed and rubbed a hand across her tired eyes nodding her head in affirmation as she willed her itching hands to not reach out and touch the girl again. She needed to hold Cameron, wanted to touch her so desperately she could literally feel her hands aching at the effort to remain where they were.
"Do you want it back?"
"What?" Startled out of her reverie at the question Sarah turned unbelieving eyes onto Alison who was studiously avoiding looking at her as her hand continued to palm the stone absently.
"I…I mean, you gave it to Cameron and…I'm…not Cameron."
Sarah closed her eyes at the hesitant confirmation to her thoughts, her hands clasping tightly together around her knees in reaction.
"It was…a gift and I don't ask for gifts back. If you don't want it it's up to you what you do with it, you can throw it away if you want to." Although her words were casual, Sarah could feel her throat tightening at the thought.
"No! I…I do. I want it. It…comforts me." Alison's face was horrified at the suggestion and seeing the pinched expression on Sarah's face.
Feeling the tension easing slightly from her shoulders a little at Alison's words, Sarah sighed softly and leant back against the top step watching the lightening sky up ahead. She hadn't realised that they had been sitting out here for so long finally feeling her backside twinge in protest at the sudden knowledge. Shifting around a little to ease the discomfort, Sarah knew she should get up and start her day, do something besides torturing herself sitting next to the girl she loved who had no memories of her, but Sarah didn't want to. Even though knowing it wasn't Cameron sitting beside her, it still gave her some measure of comfort in having the girl's presence close.
"There's something else you haven't told me though isn't there?"
Once again startled out of her quiet musings, Sarah turned her gaze towards Alison but remained silent waiting for the girl to continue.
"I sensed it in the kitchen last night. You and John had this look on your faces when I admitted to not having any memories of who I was. There's something about me that has you both on edge isn't there? Something I need to know but you're both unwilling to tell me?
Turning a beseeching and lost look onto Sarah once more, Alison reached out a hand and gripped one of Sarah's desperately in hers, firmly pushing the kiss from her thoughts.
"Who am I Sarah?"
Entering the kitchen silently in the still early morning, Derek glanced out the window and saw Sarah and Cameron, or was it Alison now, sitting outside on the front steps. Grimacing wryly at his thoughts, Derek turned away and headed towards the coffee machine. John had filled him in last night about Cameron's amnesia when he had returned home and although he was surprised that a machine could lose their memories without them being scrubbed clean, he had accepted it. Hell, if he could time travel back to the past, why couldn't a machine have amnesia and think she was the girl that she had been modelled from? Stranger things had happened.
Grimacing again at his thoughts Derek felt surprise settling in as he realised that calling Cameron a machine hadn't sat well on his conscience. He hadn't thought of her as a machine for a while now, seeing the girl evolving more and more as the days went by. Whether or not it was possible and whether or not he wanted to believe it, he couldn't deny something that was right in front of his eyes.
Grabbing a hold of his coffee mug Derek wandered back to the window again, watching Sarah and Alison silently as they sat outside talking. Seeing the sudden apprehensive expression on Sarah's face, Derek gripped his mug harder feeling a sudden tension settling onto his shoulders.
"Whatcha watching?" Jerking back in startled reaction to John's mumbled comment as he stepped groggily into the kitchen, surprised at seeing him up before ten, Derek turned away reluctantly from the window with a frown on his face.
"Why are you up so early?"
"Couldn't sleep." Giving a wide yawn in response, John sidled over to stand beside Derek, staring out the window curiously.
"What do you think they're talking about?"
Derek shrugged his shoulders and leant against the counter, taking a sip from his coffee in the process.
"I think there's a lot that Sarah needs to tell Cameron, uh, I mean Alison."
"Yeah, I do that too. Do you think she'll tell her who she was?"
Shrugging again Derek replied nonchalantly, "I think she should, but you know your mother, she never does what we expect her to do."
John grinned at the backhand gripe, his eyes still trained on Sarah and Alison outside. Yawning again John turned to walk away from the window when he heard Alison suddenly screaming in denial.
"No! That's not true! I don't believe you!"
Turning back to the window again, with Derek pressed tightly against his side peering outside as well, John could see that Alison was now standing in front of Sarah, her body trembling violently with a look of horror on her face.
Seeing Sarah stand up and walking hesitantly towards the girl, John could only watch the unfolding scene outside helplessly.
"No! Don't touch me!"
Hearing the hysteria in the girl's voice, John gripped the counter in consternation as Alison suddenly turned and ran. Seeing his mother watching her running form with a worried and helpless look on her face, John ran to the front door and down the steps to stand beside Sarah.
"John…" Turning towards John with a lost and broken look on her face, Sarah gripped his arm in helpless supplication seeing her indecision to run after the obviously upset girl or to leave her alone for now.
"I'll go after her Mom, it'll be ok." Giving his mother a reassuring squeeze on the arm, John turned and ran after Alison.
"You told her?" Derek's voice was half accusation and half approval.
Turning at the voice to see Derek standing rigidly against the railing, Sarah turned back briefly towards Alison and John's running form before schooling her features into an indecipherable mask as she walked up the steps towards the front door.
"I had to. She asked and I couldn't lie to her. She needed to know."
Sensing Sarah's desperate desire to hold on to a composure he could see beginning to crack at her words, Derek turned his gaze away from her to look out towards the shed, seeing John's form disappearing inside.
"Let's hope that she doesn't do anything stupid."
Feeling the strain of seeing Alison's horrified look on her face when she had told the girl the truth about who she was, Sarah willed away the trembling she could feel beginning to start in the pit of her stomach. Turning back once more in the direction Alison had run to, Sarah hesitated as the overwhelming desire to run after her returned full force.
"Leave it alone for now Sarah. She needs time and besides, John will help her."
Knowing that Derek was right and that there was nothing more she could do, Sarah turned back to the house reluctantly, hoping that she hadn't made the wrong choice after all.
TBC...