I'm sorry this update has taken so long! I wish I could tell you that i've been too busy to write, but that would be a lie ... i've been cheating on The Good Wife fics with Once fics. So, again ... sorry! I'll try to be quicker!

She paced back and forth consumed by a nervous energy that once would have felt foreign to her. The confidence she usually eluded to had all but evaporated. She was a clever woman. Smart, focused, determined; but like many people, she wasn't completely able to separate herself from her emotions. She wasn't one of those people who could have something awful happen to them but shrug it off as a minor detail. Peter broke her and she thought it was unfixable. Will had started to heal her; to put back together the pieces of her that had shattered.

And now he was leaving.

There was a very real possibility, that he would turn up at her house, full of sorrow and apologies and she would simply shrug it off. But there was also the possibility that she cared for him a lot more than she had been willing to acknowledge. There was the possibility that him leaving; would hurt her deeply ... And that terrified her.

That's how she found herself pacing the length of her kitchen, gripping the stem of her large wine glass, savoring every sip. She could see Peter laughing with the kids and laughed to herself at her colossal mistake. Having a heated discussion with Will in a place that her husband could not leave was no doubt, ridiculous.

When the doorbell rang, she cleared the dark red liquid from her glass without so much as tasting it; liquid courage. She watched as Zach ran past her toward the door.

"I got it. I got it."

She remained unmoving in the kitchen. The liquid courage she had previously consumed clearly not providing the kick that she was in need of.

"WILL! Can we play again?"

She almost smiled as she heard Will chuckle at her son. "Maybe some other time buddy. Is your mom here?"

She believed that when she saw him, she would unload everything. Every thought, every bit of anger; of hurt. She was a woman who was - for the most part - sure of herself. She wasn't a stranger to conflict. She welcomed a good argument whether it be in the courtroom, or her home. But when Will Gardner walked in to her kitchen, she lost all rational thought. The only thing running through her mind - the only thought - was that she was about to lose something ... someone great before anything ever really had the chance to start.

"Hey Leesh."

She nods her greeting, not quite sure her spoken words will come out as strong as she wishes them to. Taking a glass and the bottle of red, she refilled her glass before filling one for him and directing him to the stool adjacent to her own. Her gaze lands on Peter,who is pinning her with a glacial stare and once again she finds herself at a loss; facing toward two men who she had allowed herself to believe could be the one; could change her life. And arguably, in one way or another, they both have but that was then and this is now. That was when one hadn't cheated and when the other wasn't leaving. She felt her eyes move onto each mans face sporadically. A look of anger had settled on one face whilst sorrow had settled on the other.

It hadn't even occurred to her that she hadn't spoke yet; that she was creating a tangible awkwardness between herself and the man opposite her. She knew she had to form words. Any words. Words to express her thoughts. Words to express her feelings. Words to get this over with.

She had nothing.

"I'm just going to talk. And you can just stop me if you have anything to add."

Apparently Will did.

"It was all arranged before you came to work for us. It's been in the works for around a year. When we hired you, I didn't start out with intentions to woo you or lure you into something I couldn't fulfil. But then I remembered your hair at Georgetown. And your smirk. And how mysterious you were to me back then and I wanted to rectify it. I wanted to solve the mystery."

She wanted to interrupt; she knew she should ... but she didn't.

"I didn't mean to lead you on in any way Alicia and if I could, I would have pulled out of this move, but I can't. We're too far along. When this opportunity came along I had nothing here. Sure I had Diane and I had dates, but I didn't have anything keeping me here." She watched him take a deep breath. His eyes moved from his glass to her eyes and back again. "If it had come along now and not a year ago. I would have said no. Now I have something worth staying for."

"And yet you are still leaving."

It was her first sentence. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. It was a statement that described their situation to a tee. He was leaving. Nothing that they would say here would change that. Nothing they could discuss would make it so he could stay; so he could be with her and they could ride off into the sunset with no regard for exes or work; just her, her children and Will. But that isn't the situation.

"I am. I wish I wasn't ... but I am. I made some bad judgment calls and I get it if you're angry bu-"

"I'm definitely angry Will. I'm angry that I opened myself up so soon after what I went through. I'm angry at you for keeping the fact that you were leaving from me and I'm angry at myself. I wasn't ready for whatever was happening between us." She noticed Will visibly flinch at her use of the past tense. She let her gaze wander to her husband and children, still playing -way past bedtime- and then she knew what she was saying true. What ever she felt for Will, she felt a hundred times more for her children. Allowing herself to get caught up in all this so soon after what they've just gone through, was irresponsible and selfish and if she had been thinking clearly, she never would have let it happen. "I have to think about my children. They deserve at least one parent who can be dedicated to them. And that parent isn't going to be their father. I got distracted. Maybe you leaving is what I need to get my head back on straight and finally be what I need to be for my children."

She watched Will nod, somewhat solemnly.

"So ... I think we're done here then. But i'll be back in a year Alicia. This isn't forever."

She watched him finish his wine in one gulp, stand and walk from the house in what seemed like one motion. Her head fell to her hands as she blinked away the tears she knew that were threatening to escape.

/

It was his last day. There was no denying the fact that work had been hard. The whole week had been filled with congratulations, goodbyes and looks filled of all the words they couldn't say between Alicia and himself. What she had said had hurt him. She made him feel as though whatever she had felt, was nothing. That what had happened was a mistake that she should never have allowed herself to indulge in. That the feelings they had obviously shared were some fickle passing vibe that would soon disperse. Of course, he knew he better. He knew their feelings were not one sided. He knew she was using the obvious obstructions to rectify their situation. But that didn't make it sting any less.

As the week moved by he watched her from a distance. He handed off cases to her and he watched her walk past laughing with Nathan. None of it was easy. Every sighting of her stung twice as hard as the last but he couldn't bring himself to speak to her about anything other than work and from their limited interactions he could only assume that she felt the same way.

"This case is pretty big. You might want to bring in some 1st years." He watched her closely as she nodded whilst flipping through the files, appearing to be listening but aloof at the same time."Alicia. This doesn't have to be awkward. You only have to put up with me for a few more days."

He watched her eyes dart immediately to his, seemingly offended by his words. She sighed loudly, shaking her head."I'm not making this uncomfortable on purpose Will, it's just how it is right now. I don't imagine it always will be."

He felt his head nodding almost without his consent. He continued explaining the cases which she would be taking over, stealing glances at her whenever he had the chance; submitting every detail of her face to his memory. Filing it away for when he's too far away to admire her in person.

"So, are we done here?"

He felt as though his heart had stopped. The depth of her words hit him like a brick wall. It wasn't hard to detect the double meaning laced within her words. He shook his head, suppressing what he really wanted to say. Suppressing the words that he knew would only cause her more pain in the long run.

"Yeah. We're done."

He sighed, letting his gaze wander around the office. He leaned back in his chair taking in every last detail of his office. The pieces that made it him had already been moved out. All that remained were generic office materials. As his mind wandered he thought about how much his life had changed. A year ago, he was excited to leave; eager to face a new challenge in his hectic life.

He never would have imagined that a year later, he would have been wishing for a way out.

/

She was unsure as to what she was doing. She had a pen in her hand and files sat in front of her, but she wasn't paying attention. Her mind was elsewhere. It was on someone else. It had been a hard week. Spending any time around him felt suffocating. Trying to push away what she really wanted to do and say whenever he was near to her was crippling. And now it was his last day. He was leaving. The inevitable had arrived.

The offices were still busy. People rushed in and out of their offices sporadically. As she sat at her desk, she watched them go by. One by one. People rushed to other people. They rushed to court. They rushed to meetings; they rushed. And suddenly - almost without her own consent - she was one of those people.

She was rushing

She moved past her peers, past offices that all blurred into one and past Diane eyeing her somewhat suspiciously from her assistants desk. And then she stopped as suddenly as she had started.

Her eyes roamed around the office. It felt empty. It was still full, but the emptiness came from the fact that she knew everything that was "Will" was gone. His favourite baseball, his bat, the humming noise from his mini fridge, the clutter on his desk. Everything that was Will; was no longer there.

But Will was.

He was watching her with one raised eyebrow from the spot behind his desk. He didn't speak, he just continued to watch her as her eyes moved from him to the empty spaces of his office intermittently. After a time of silence had passed, she watched as he moved from his spot behind the desk until he was so close that they were almost touching and before she knew it; they were.

Almost without her knowledge, her arms had moved from her sides and landed around him. She pulled him close, taking in everything that was so typically Will. His smell, his strong arms, the feel of his breath on her hair. She held him. She wasn't sure for how long. But she was sure they would have drawn attention from the people around them. For some reason, she couldn't find it in herself to actually care. She pulled back slightly; her eyes roaming the lines of his face, the glow of his eyes ... the inviting sight of his lips. And then they were kissing. It wasn't like before, it wasn't light and soft. It was full of want. It was full of words she couldn't say to him. She relaxed into it, letting him take the lead, allowing herself to memorise how utterly complete she felt in that moment.

It was over too soon.

She kept her eyes closed and held him at arms length. A small smile spread across her lips as she savoured the moment. She opened her eyes and looked straight into his.

"See you in a year Will."

And she turned and walked out.

She ignored she shock written all over Diane's face; the disbelief of her coworkers and her own successful grin as she walked back to her office, sat before her desk and carried on with her work; feeling much more at ease than she had not 10 minutes before.